Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

The Weekend

I am broken. I feel broken. Like a part of me is missing entirely. I blame you for it. All of it. The hardest part is the weekend. I used to fall asleep with you in my arms. I used to just feel the way your body fit into mine, how your breath, peacefully fell on my chest, and you’d fall asleep. “I fell in love the same way you fall asleep; slowly then all at once.” I found that in you. Just like that quote, it was slowly and all at once. I used to wake up to soft, gentle kisses on my cheek and lips. The moment I realized that it was you, I’d wrap you in my arms and pull you close to me, just to get a few more minutes alone with you in my arms. You’d smile and laugh. It was our thing. Ours. I’d eventually get up, go upstairs and see the kids. Fuck, I can’t even write their names. Thinking about them kills me. I’d give them hugs and help you cook breakfast if it wasn’t done. This was every weekend. Every weekend, I had a family. Every weekend, my dreams were real. Why couldn’t you be the person that I wanted you to be, the person I needed. You gave me hope. You gave me a family. But now you’re gone. So I lay here, on a weekend, alone in a bed with nothing to fall asleep to. But worse, nothing to wake up to. No kiss. No morning ritual. No loud, bright faces of the kids. Nothing. I have nothing. I feel broken. Just broken. The feeling may leave for a moment, but only a moment. It’s the weekend....and I’m here. Alone. I miss it all but I can never go back.

Just need to get it out

I see people who love one another. I see the things that put wedges in their relationships. But to me, the issues are petty. They are valid, they are real, they are true problems, but as significant as the are, they are twice as insignificant. Money. Communication. Yes, they are issues. They are a constant struggle. But at the end of the day only one thing truly matters. “Do you go to bed holding the person that you love? Are you holding the love of you life? Are you waking up to your ‘future’?”. These are the important things. I would kill to have money troubles. I’d kill to have communication issues. I’d kill to have any issue, as long as it meant that I have that one person in my life. Though I write from a place of frustration, I ask anyone who may read this not to bare these words to heart because I mean them in the best ways possible: whatever issues you have are temporary. In the grand scheme they are nothing. You have love. You have something that people search for day in and day out. That’s what’s important. So yeah, I’d take on all of the problems, all of the arguments, all of the issues, if only it meant to be with my forever.