𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 / 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒                                 includes   ships  ,  angst  ,  humor  and  some  nsfw. 

“  i wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.  ” “  oh the joys of a negative pregnancy test.  ” “  i used to want you to marry him.  ” “  i just think you deserve a bigger penis than that. ”  “  that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one i wasn’t dating.  ” “  these business classes have improved my drug business ten fold.  ” “  we should paint friendship bongs.  ” “  the everclear bottle is suspiciously low.  ” “  i am a clusterfuck of fun.  ” “  you’re like a bad decision making factory.  ” “  i’m still in shock, but your dick helped.  ” “  i’m removing my uterus.  ” “  my condolences to your vagina.  ” “  don’t do acid and go to disney on ice.  ” “  how was your tequila?   ” “  are you making bad decisions yet?  ” “  should i be irritated , or flattered?  ” “  bongs and porn. i found the promised land.  ” “  you’re gonna have to shave first from now on.  ” “  going commando on a monday morning is a bold move.  ” “  i have a type and you’re not it.  ” “  what the fuck are we drinking?  ” “  why are you rhyming?  ” “  i feel like i haven’t slapped your ass in years.  ” “  last night was fun , but it wasn’t right.  ” “  let’s do something tonight. i feel like setting things on fire.  ” “  there are footprints all over my windshield.  ” “  i’m sorry i pressured you for dick pics.  ” “  i left my bra and sneakers in your room.  ” “  i’m not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts.  ” “  thank you for always being there for me.  ” “  i buy too many watermelons when i’m drunk.  ” “  what use do you have for dignity?  ” “  no , i come stoned to this class every week.  ” “  can’t one of your roomates drive you?  ” “  seriously , i don’t trust you.  ” “  you kind of suck and not in the fun way.  ” “  i would offer you moral support , but i have questionable morals.  ” “  you’re an asshole.  ” “  sleeping beauty awakes.  ” “  you’ll be home before midnight cinderella.  ” “  okay , prove you’re not drunk to me.  ” “  it was a one time thing.  ” “  thanks it was an honor just to be nominated.  ” “  kinda getting a major gay vibe from you right now.  ” “  stop staring at my boobs , i can’t concentrate.  ” “  here’s the thing. i’m really high and have lots of questions about lightning.  ” “  this house was built for laser tag.  ” “  the police scanner was talking about you again.  ” “  you can microwave pop tarts?  ” “  are you in or are you in?  ” “  it’s hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.  ” “  on a scale of one to america , how free are you this weekend?  ” “  we’re having pizza delivered to the emergency room.  ” “  you love me.  ” “  forecast for tonight is alcohol , low standards and poor decisions.  ” “  i have your wallet. trade you for the tacos.  ” “  how does that even get suggested?!  ” “  you are the best fuck buddy i could have.  ” “  let’s not get feelings and morals involved.  ” “  nobody is perfect.  ” “  this beer is not sobering me up at all.  ” “  a ham sandwich would be nice.  ” “  can we take a second to high five on our sex life? i love us.  ” “  why is there a ___ in my shower?  ” “  do you want to make me hamburgers?  ” “  sometimes , i worry for your future.  ” “  i feel like i owe you something.  ” “  i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities.  ” “  i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.  ” “  so , finals studying is going well?  ” “  i wasn’t expecting a boner of this magnitude.  ” “  let’s go to mexico. arrrriba !  ” “  i made us dinosaur chicken nuggets.   ” “  i’m eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they’d die in the food chain.  ” “  on a scale from 1, to can’t put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging , how hungover are you?  ”

[sees a dog] [gentle gasp]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend {Sentence Starters}

"Hate you? I don’t hate you."

"That’s not true. That’s not- that’s not true at all."

"You’re terrible and they’re cute."

"Turns out, my real life is garbage but my fake life is AMAZING."

"You will say anything to make that woman happy."

"Is that what you think, ____? That I hate you?"

"I wake up every morning sick with worry, wondering where you are."

"I have always loved you. I love you too much."

"I thought that you were cute and that they were gonna be terrible."

"You and ____, your love story... it gives me hope."

"I have to feel my feelings. It’s okay to feel."

"I am consumed by my love for you."

"We’re all just trying to get out alive."

"Bros before- tables."

"Why do you care what I think? I'm not your priest."

"Do you forgive me yet?"

"I think I might be attracted to someone besides ____."

"Are you making healthy choices?"

"Why not settle for me? Darling, settle for me."

"You sound like that weird butter commercial."

"I think that you'll have to agree we make quite a pair."

"This is how you get ready? This is horrifying."

"I'm just trying to be mature and responsible."

"This is going to be so much fun."

"That's such a beautiful name! What's the origin of that?"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend  {Sentence Starters}

“Oh, you’re crying.”

“You’re so distracted lately.”

“Just pretend I’m seducing you.”

“I love you, and I’m here to help.”

“Oh my god, you are so offensive.”

“Who’s the new guy? I don’t trust him.”

“I think they’re modern classics. Okay?”

“I decided to put happiness before success.”

“Every time we talk I’m really just thinking about myself.”

“For some reason, you’re now on the top of my ‘to-do’ list.”

“Sometimes my body wants things that my mind does not.”

“There you go. You happy now? You’ve got something on me.”

“I actually think it’s kind of nice. It almost makes you seem human.”

“See? There is love in your life. You just have to know where to find it.”

“I’ll say it first because I should. I was more wrong. I was the more wronger one.”

“I don’t mind being alone with my thoughts. I’m totally fine alone with my thoughts.”

“I really want to tell you that I’m sorry, and I really want to tell you that I am the worst.”

“Look, I know something’s been up with you lately, and I want to know what it is. Really.”

“I don’t like that about myself. When I see it on somebody else, I find it even more repulsive.”

huge tv meme → [3/10] otps: grebecca 

It feels different, Paula. It’s different this time. Greg makes me feel like I’m okay because he’s so much more okay now, you know? And like maybe we could be the best versions of ourselves if we’re together. So what does that mean? What now? I don’t know, but I really think there’s something there.

TAG DROP!  —  verses &. arcs

◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴠ. ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sᴀʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs. —  ❛ youth. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴠ. ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴏᴘᴇʟᴇssʟʏ ᴅᴇsᴘᴇʀᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡᴇsᴛ ᴄᴏᴠɪɴᴀ!. —  ❛ canon. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴠ. ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ɪs ᴀ ᴅɪᴀᴍᴏɴᴅ. —  ❛ au. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴠ. ᴛʙᴅ. —  ❛ tbd. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴀ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ɴᴏᴛ ᴡʜʏ ɪ'ᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ!. —  ❛ s1. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴀ. ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ɪɴᴅᴇsᴄʀɪʙᴀʙʟᴇ ɪɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ. —  ❛ s2. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴀ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴠɪʟʟᴀɪɴ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴏᴡɴ sᴛᴏʀʏ. —  ❛ s3. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴀ. ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ. —  ❛ s4. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴀ. ɪs ᴛʜɪs sᴏᴍᴇ sᴏʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴅᴇsᴘᴇʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴏᴜʀ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢs?. —  ❛ cross. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴀ. ᴛʙᴅ. —  ❛ tbd.

TAG DROP!  —  ships &. charas

◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʀ. ɪ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ ɪᴛ ʙᴇɢᴀɴ. —  ❛ josh. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʀ. ᴏʜ ᴍʏ ɢᴏᴅ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ. —  ❛ greg. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʀ. ᴍʏ ᴘᴀsᴛ ɪs ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʟᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ғᴀʟʟ ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. —  ❛ nathaniel. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴇʀᴏ ɪ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜ. —  ❛ josh. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ʜᴇ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ sᴇᴀʀᴄʜ ᴛᴇʀᴍ ᴏɴ ᴘᴏʀɴ sɪᴛᴇs. —  ❛ greg. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. sʜᴇ ᴄᴀʟʟs ᴍᴇ ᴄᴏᴏᴋɪᴇ. —  ❛ paula. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ᴍʏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴇɪɢʜᴛʜ ᴄʜɪᴘᴘᴇᴡᴀ ʙᴏss. —  ❛ darryl. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ʜᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ. —  ❛ white josh. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴏʟᴇsᴛ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴛ. —  ❛ heather. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇs ʜɪs ᴍᴏᴍ (ɪɴ ᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴇᴘʏ ᴡᴀʏ). —  ❛ hector. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ʙᴀsɪᴄ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏᴀʙʟᴇ ᴡᴀʏ. —  ❛ valencia. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴄ. ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀʀғɪɴᴋᴇʟ ᴍᴀᴛʀɪᴀʀᴄʜ. —  ❛ naomi. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ��. ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ʙᴏss ᴡʜᴏ ʟɪᴋᴇs ᴀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴡɪᴢᴀʀᴅ ʙᴏᴏᴋ. —  ❛ nathaniel.

TAG DROP!  —  misc

◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴍʏ ʜᴀɪʀ ɪs ᴅᴀʀᴋ sᴏ ɪ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ᴇᴠɪʟ ʙᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴇss ɪs ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪs ɪʀᴏɴɪᴄ. —  ❛ visage. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴅᴏ ᴡᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛ?. —  ❛ wishlist. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ᴍʏ ʟɪғᴇ ᴀs ᴀ sᴇʀɪᴇs ᴏғ ᴍᴜsɪᴄᴀʟ ɴᴜᴍʙᴇʀs. —  ❛ thoughts. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ'ᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴏғ ᴀ ᴅᴏʀᴋ. —  ❛ isms. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʙᴜɴᴄʜ ᴏғ ɢɪʀʟʏ ᴄʀᴀᴘ?. —  ❛ asks. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪᴛ’s ᴍʏ ʙʀᴀɴᴅ. —  ❛ hc. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴀ ʟʏɪɴɢ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ʙɪᴛᴄʜ ᴡʜᴏ ʀᴜɪɴs ᴛʜɪɴɢs . —  ❛ ooc. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ᴀ ᴛᴇʀʀɪғʏɪɴɢ sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ. —  ❛ meme. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʟᴇᴛ’s ɢᴏ ᴏɴ ᴀ sʟɪᴅᴇ ʙᴀᴄᴋᴡᴀʀᴅs!. —  ❛ dash games. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪᴛ’s ᴏғғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ'ʀᴇ ᴀ sǫᴜᴀᴅ. —  ❛ promo. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴍʏ ʙᴜɴᴄʜᴀғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ. —  ❛ sp. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ɪᴛ’s ᴋɪɴᴅ ᴏғ ɴɪᴄᴇ. —  ❛ saved. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪs ʀᴏᴏᴍ. —  ❛ positivity. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʜᴇʟᴘ. —  ❛ psa. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ'ᴍ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴍɪʀᴀᴄʟᴇ. —  ❛ ic. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʜᴜɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀɴ ʜᴏᴜʀ ᴀɢᴏ. —  ❛ interaction call. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  sᴏʀʀʏ ɪ ᴍɪssᴇᴅ ʜᴏᴄᴜs ᴘᴏᴄᴜs ɪ ᴡᴀs ǫᴜᴇᴜᴇɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ sɪx ʜᴏᴜʀs. —  ❛ queue. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏ sɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ. —  ❛ open. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪ ᴡᴀs sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ sʜᴏʀᴛᴇʀ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴛʜᴇɴ. —  ❛ crack. ◤   ⚖️  ⋮⁞⋮  ɪᴛ’s ᴅ-ᴅᴀʏ ɪɴ ᴍʏ ʟᴀᴅʏ ᴘᴀʀᴛs. —  ❛ nsfw.