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the last witch hunter - movie review

and I sure hope it is...

by chance watched on HBO the unfleshed-out story of Vin Diesel, a man who's family was killed and was cursed with immortality by a witch in the thirteenth century, save nyc and I guess the world from a second black death. Being tired and lazy got sucked into what seemed like what might have been a cool cross between "the craft", "game of thrones" and batman, but spiraled out of control somewhere in the second act, at which point was too invested and exhausted to change the channel. So I let lovely Rose Leslie (Ygritte girl from game of thrones) the firey special effects and my own laziness whisk me throughout to "The Last Witch Hunter's" equally disappointing ending.

I really feel like I should have been rewarded for my efforts, even overlooked Vin Diesel wielding the ridiculous flaming sword at multiple points throughout movie. I must say though, I did like the way the movie moved at the beginning. After we see Vin Diesel back in the day being cursed by the witch queen we shoot forward to present day are introduced to the idea that witches are all around us (a feeling that sometimes I must admit seems plausible in this insane world), living among us doing all sorts of mystifying things, most of the time not even bad things such as encouraging flowers to grow or throwing fun underground parties with magical sparkling drinks. But of course there is always the jerks who will use magic to do evil, right! OK so we gotta get this witch. OK, first off before Vin meets Rose Leslie (a good witch) who probes into his brain and reminds him that the witch who wreaked havoc on his life is still alive and waiting to hit the city with the plague, he is not just trying to get this queen witch, Vin's just kinda a witch police man finding small-time witchy activity around nyc. So, I don't really understand Vin Diesels motivation, he has no promise of ever seeing his family, who we are constantly seeing flashbacks of, ever again as far as he or we know he's f'ed. Secondly, as a viewer I am not emotionally invested in this witch, I do not care or currently feel that threatened by the black plague or its imminent reemergence (maybe because of my own ignorance or because i do not watch enough history channel) but i do not really feel moved by this mission. Finally, this ill-conceived movie has no right to presume that anyone wants to see a sequel, because if it had not done that it might have ended with some actual well needed closure, letting Vin DIesel's character finally die and be at peace with his long lost family. Also, then there would have been no need for the awkward romance between Vin and Rose's characters. That would have been a clean and tidy way to string up such a mediocre movie with a shred of dignity. But of course not the case, he decides to keep the heart of the queen witch instead of destroy it an act that keeps his character alive to live or die another day, let us just hope it not 16 movies from now.