“what’s the song of the summer” ?? it’s DANCING IN THE DARK by bruce springsteen for the 40th year in a row

my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on

hired a galapagos finch at my burger joint and after 2 generations it evolved to take peoples orders

the Columbia University arrests are worse than they seem. They're arresting protesting students for trespassing. It goes without saying students cannot meaningfully "trespass" in the common areas of a university they attend. So Columbia University has suspended all student protestors from their institution, in the process revoking their access to housing, their belonging, and most crucially damaging their academic futures. We are witnessing full scale silencing and removal of anyone of conscience from the next generation of academia.

me: do you guys like my evil thorned plate armour and bloodred cloak? is the ominous glow of my visor slit too much?

my manserpent minion: it'ssss sssslaying absssolute penisssss, ssssire

my shambling zombie: uuuu 👍

captured gnome i keep in a birdcage: golly gee willikers it's sure some scary!!!

my straight manserpent minion: looks pretty good boss

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

you jack off all trades?

ex buzzfeed employees love sitting in threes on couches for their apology videos it's good enrichment for them

you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker

you can think someone's an idiot and not hate them. anyone who doesn't understand this has never had a coworker

I am just. So weirdly tickled by this Watcher situation. Like yes, initially I was very disappointed and upset but honestly now I just think it's funny. I can't remember the last time a creator or group of creators misread the room this hard. Like they really thought they were cooking with this one. They had a countdown to this. They announced their paywalled streaming service with their whole chests and expected rapturous applause. Instead, there has been a non-stop chorus of boos and thrown tomatoes for days now. They would have probably gotten a better reaction if they had posted a video where they sprayed a dog in the eyes with soapy water.

It's all so pleasantly... low-stakes. The consequences are nonexistent. It's not like the Ned Fulmer situation, where a friend group is destroyed, real life relationships are ended, and young children are potentially subjected to the trauma of divorce. Nah, all that's happening here is three idiots will be making a lot less money than they wanted. Maybe they'll learn something, maybe they won't. Either way, they brought it entirely upon themselves, and that makes it okay to laugh at in my books. So I will!

When your partner has a praise kink but you're Montessori trained so you know that praise is an ineffective way to encourage development and it's much more productive to acknowledge their effort so that they learn to effectively give themselves feedback so they can develop a healthy intrinsic motivation instead of deriving their self worth from labels put on them by other people .... "baby it's amazing how much you could last today compared to last week"

Jesse. Jesse meth isn't the only thing we're cooking. Because today's video was sponsored by Hello Fresh.