hi boys im an appy

September 11, 2001

so blessed by my heavenly Father i cant even begin to sing the joy inside my soul

truly cannot express the undeserved blessings falling into my life from my Father's hands. He gives and He takes away but lately He has been so so so merciful and generous towards me

a year ago i had $0 in my bank account, had just driven 17 hrs (1670 kms) trying so desperately not to fall asleep and saw my parents new house at 12am in the pitch black and didn't know God & Jesus' love for me and half a year ago i overdosed and promised i wouldn't slcit my wrists anymore if He could make the overdose do nothing at all. Only God could have delivered me and He did

Jack Gilbert, from Collected Poems; "Waking at Night"

my God has been doing so many miracles in my life i cant praise Him enough by tongue or dancing or singing

uncle ted has passed and nobody appreciates the manifesto he gave us like they should, people are so asleep! he was so so so so so right

i want to relapse into anorexia maybe then the boysll want me again

Arkady Rylov (1870-1939). Sunset, 1917

ok so out of affections again and i havent been this suicidal for so long and i feel so far from God and Jesus i think i will keep praying to die/that God will take my life because i promised Him i wouldn't hurt myself again and i will not break that promise

i really like this guy but we are never free at the same time and im wondering is God saying this isnt the one or should i still persevere

i have a postcard mouth.

all it ever says is: i wish you were here

stalking but more like an angel watching over you

i really like this guy but idk if its i actually think hes attractive or hes just been really kind to me and now my attachment issues r showing up bcos its been rlly lonely for so long and i want to txt him but my trust issues and hes too good for me issues r also showing up and i also think i just need to get closer with God but i also have wedding fever since my sisters wedding is this how it is to be a girl and i also just enjoy doing dishes and cooking but i dont want babies but im so open to adoption but i obviously know children need a dad and a mum so adoption would only become an option if i were married and theres a lot of things in my stuppid head that r so embarrassing i hate tumblr but idk what to do in this situation and ive only talked to him in person twice but he always txts with heyy and i always think abt that meme thats like heyyyyyy and lists the different meanings behind the numbers of ys and i hope he doesn't think im rude if i dont txt him i just dont believe playing easy to get