vertigogiraffe
gangly giraffe girl
overthinking everything - xoxo
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once I was working on a farm with this french guy who was going to school for Complicated Computer Stuff and he decided he wanted to go on a Big Adventure so he and I both ended up on this farm.
And one day we were moving fire wood from a big pile into neat little stacks for the winter and we came across a big wasp nest. Well, actually, we just kept coming across individual, very angry wasps, telling TALES of a nearby nest in the wood.
So the farmers hosting us shoo’d us away and told us we Were Not to go near the firewood again until they took care of the wasps bc they didn’t want any harm to befall us.
So I was happy for the break. I mean, we got plenty of breaks, but I never passed up the opportunity to drop where I stood and take a grass-nap.
But the French boy Could Not Abide wasps keeping him from his Duty.
SO he went back to the pile and started slowly moving logs one by one while I sat up and told him to, uh, Not Do That.
But he was determined. And when he finally found the Big Wasp Nest, and I was on my feet, he said “get ready to run.”
And let me tell you, when a Frenchmen lifts a log over his head, looking Wasps and Death Itself in the eye and tells ya that, you’re on your toes.
And he just fucking. Used a log to smash the nest. He just obliterated it and the wasps went Wild and we RAN.
But after about 15 minutes the wasps moved on, and we could get back to work.
Our hosts were HORRIFIED, and we promised we’d never do anything That Dumb again.
Which of course meant it became standard protocol for the next 10 times we found nests.
But honestly that really changed me. The dude didn’t just squash the wasps. he squashed my fear. Since that day, I have known none. I will SMASH any obstacles life gives me, even if it means running for my life and laying low for 15 mins for things to cool down.
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I really wish as a published author that I could claim this was staged.
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…. I don’t fear God, but I do fear the automatic stapler in the staff room
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hamlet’s dad: son you need to avenge me
hamlet: oh ABSOLUTELY
hamlet for the next four and a half acts:
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