venting-blog-cause-i-need-it - Tumblr blog

venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 6 years

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i just want to dissapear- i dont want to exist- i dont want to feel-

but i do- i care- and i want to hel people- but im the most useless piece of shit when it comes to that- i cant help people when theyre depressed- i cant help with talking to them-

i feel ao gucking ahitty when my mood drops- i just wNt to leave- to not have them have to deal with me- i was already toxic to joe caude of these shits- and i really dony want marc to see that side of me- i dont want her to get attached to me- i still want to be with her

i cant just go tho- joe would be hurt- marc would be hurt.... hell marc just fucking got better with her mental state after her complete brake down from the stress from school- and now she has me- i cant make this harder for her damn it- joe too hes having such a hard tome already by itself.... he really doesnt need to loose someome now too

but despite all of that i still cant take this

i want to go but i care too much to do it

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venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 6 years

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my mood has just made a fucking 180° turn hah

i feel so fucking shitty

im so fucking tired- and ive been sleeping the whole fucking day

a part of me is so fucking annoyed that i have a girlfriend now- cause lol when the dark thoughts come is just like "what about marcela- you just got together with her- shed be so hurt"

and with that i loath the fact- that those thoughts dont happen with abriel as well- gucls sake im in love eith the guy and hes my damn best friend- ive gotten so used to the thought he doesnt care for me that much- that i cant even really use him as a big enough reason to stay- i mean- one reason is that I want to stay with him but- i just dont feel it the other way around

mhah and marcela is so different- i like the affect she has on me- shes so chill and comforting- im still getting to know her- still testing what i can or cant do- hah so far there hasnt been any limits set by her(excluding her fear of bugs and the fact shes not the horror kind of person) - shes so great

i syill dont know exactly what she saw in me- after all shesbthe one who asked me out

i guess this is all ill say for now

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venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 6 years

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who wouldve thought id ever end up crying so much that i wouldnt be able to calm down and go to class. idfk why im cring in the firslt place, ive gotten myself pissed and then startrd to tear up. im curently locked in the bathrooms with my mum not picking up and my bast friend offline and i reallu dont wanna bother my other friend thats in class rn. idk what to do and i rilly want it to fucking stop

fuvking briliant

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venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 6 years

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i hate it

i hate it how influenved i can be, i hate it how much i care

yesterday i sent a so called deep anime quote pic to a very close friend and he just laughed at it saying "i cant take anything with anime seriously". i may have been a little too touchy about it but it kinda hurt. i allways go search them when i get really depressed cause theyre really relateable and they comfort me. but now after what he said, every time i see them i just wanna burn thrm and i block the acc that post them right away

one short sentence was all that was needed, to practically make me hate the thing i loved so much

u hate it how influenced i can be, i hate it so so much and as much as i love that friend and go to the ends of the world for him, i hate it how much he affects me cause i know very well that ut usnt healthy. it isnt healthy how attached i am

#venting

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venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 7 years

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//siiiighhhh// fun

tfw your overseas best friend who you tooottally dont have a crush on is talkong about his othet best friend and the antics thry have together which are really flirtatious and is making you extremely jealous but you act like theyre your otp when they really not vause ya domt wanna make him feel bad or make him stop telling you these shitcs cause he looks so happy and now im miserable af

//siiiighhhhhhhhhh//

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venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 7 years

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tfw your overseas best friend who you tooottally dont have a crush on is talkong about his othet best friend and the antics thry have together which are really flirtatious and is making you extremely jealous but you act like theyre your otp when they really not vause ya domt wanna make him feel bad or make him stop telling you these shitcs cause he looks so happy and now im miserable af

//siiiighhhhhhhhhh//

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venting-blog-cause-i-need-it · 7 years

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BETRAYED BY WHAT??? YOU BEING FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU ENJOY TALKING TO??

ffs this damn friendship is sounding more and more toxic, and there SHE was saying she doesnt wanna have toxic friends FFS YOURE BEING ONE OF THEM GOD DAMN IT, YOU BECAME SO DAMN SALTY WITH ME JUST CAUSE I WAS FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE YOU DONT LIKE, FUCK YOU! tho in this situation i really dont give a fuck bout this caUSE YOURE DOING THE SAME THING TO YOUR OWN OLD PRECIOUS FRIEND AND HE DOESNT DESERVE THIS

#im so fucking pissed at her #she has no right to treat him like that #he can talk to whoever he wants withought ypur damn approval #this enemy thing is one sided #but if youre gonna hurt him like this more #i swear to motherfucking god i will makw you regret your decision #i really needed to vent this out #i dont wanna bother my other friend #hes already in a bad mood thiese days

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