I'm alive I'm back uuuguguh

My thighs r just so huge

EDs aren't taken seriously unless you're underweight which is sad but also motivating

just fucked up all my progress. summer is coming and a kept fucking eating

I have no one to talk to so I'm just rambling here tw for sui

never been fucking closer to ending it. my lifestyle genuinely falling apart, i come home terrified that my parents are going to be arguing or something. my dads at home constantly now but hes a dead beat who does fuck all around the house so that'll piss my mother off to either scream at him or take it out on me cause I'm just fucking there. I'm so convinced their gonna divorce because they just aren't happy and I have no clue where the fuck im going to end up. deadlines next week and I have nothing, I'm fucking failing genuinely. friends don't like talking to me its painfully obvious. we're struggling for money and i can keep telling myself "oh I move out next year its fine" I might not even be able to afford that. I won't fucking last another year I swear to god

I fr thought having friends with 4n4 would be like tumblr irl but im instead making sure they eat lunch and that they're happy and doing okay while I'm crying over calories constantly

might find it easier to 🌟ve now ive started smoking again. keep grabbing my mothers hand rolled cigs whenever she isn't looking so I can smoke them at lunch at college instead of eating

so my life fell apart LMAO 🙏🙏

dad lost his job so he's gonna be home constantly so my mother and him will be arguing a lot more than usual cause their marriage is a fucking failure. we have no form of stable income anymore so we're gonna be broke as fuck. I'm weeks worth of work behind my current college project and the deadline is NEXT week I've been hrting myself every fucking night at this point and I've GAINED 2 KG FROM STRESS EATING!!!!!!!!!!!!

inches away from kms so I'm back here hi guys let's try this again

I can totally have hot girl summer!

I just need to lose 65 pounds.

For the next three months.

FML. How fucking delulu was I to let it get this bad?

accidently enabled my mate to smoke and break his clean streak not realising he was a fucking month clean I feel like such an ass. he asked for a smoke and I shared mine with him for a bit and then remembered he was going fucking clean I feel horrible

don't know if ive ever mentioned this before or if its on my intro but I am british, my timezone is BST I'm English sadly 😞🙏

I may be on the sh and 3d side of tumblr but my dumbass hasn't got a clue what people say sometimes

"I hit a Styro!!" no clue what that is

"do I do high or low restriction today?" I do NOt now the difference

I'm thick as shit I'm just here for the crack honestly

I am so incredibly jealous of everyone on this earth, especially my boyfriend, who never think about food. I hate that there are people who get to the evening and suddenly remember they haven’t eaten all day. Food has been a constant thought of mine since I was like six years old. And I hate it. Not eating makes me feel like shit and eating makes me feel like shit. I literally never want to leave my house or interact with other humans again

i'll always imagine people as their pfps like those are my beloved mutuals lana del rey and dylan klebold

I don't want to be the fat friend anymore