First lock!

When In Doubt ..... Ruin Him!

When a FLR is first starting out, it can take a bit of time to adjust to a sex life with a D/s dynamic. Both partners have their own unique struggles to go through, and so there's no need to rush anything. Whatever kinks you decide to partake in and make a part of your dynamic, I think it's safe to say the general theme in a FLR is tease and denial .... for him.

I think the benefits of a well teased and denied sub speak for themselves. When he is constantly in craving, and aching, he is simply more attentive, and more obedient. It's like magic, almost. However, many Domme's often feel guilty when they don't give in and let him cum. His begging, and whimpering often is just too cute to not let him have it. So rather than feel guilty, let him have it... but with a condition.

Ruin his orgasm. This can actually be a huge factor within the D/s dynamic, because ultimately she controls all his releases, and how he has them. Giving her the ultimate choice, each and every time. Especially if he's locked in chastity, and restrained when unlocked, so he never gets access to his own cock. All he knows is her touch, and only her touch. He's completely at her mercy.

So when it's time for him to have a release, but she doesn't really want him to have a full orgasm, because she knows it drains all his passion from him. All that submission and obedience becomes dulled for a day or two until it builds back up... This is not ideal to happen regularly in a FLR. So a ruined orgasm, grants both, his release, and keeps his frustration levels high. He gets drained, but remains perfectly obedient. Win win!

To ruin his orgasm, can be a bit of an art at first. She must learn the tell of his body as she stimulates him, and monitor his breathing. Recognizing when his breath quickens and his body starts to convulse, she can expertly time it. If she times it correctly, his cum will only, very slowly, dribble out of his penis. There should not be any spurts! If there's even a single spurt, it mean's he's getting pleasure from it. The idea of a ruined orgasm, is to give him a release, but not pleasure. She can then lose any guilt, because she knows he had a release.

As long as he doesn't spurt, he will remain fully frustrated, as if he didn't cum at all. Which is hugely beneficial for her. So whenever she is in doubt, a ruined orgasm is the way to go.

Bonus: The perfect way to train him to clean up his cum, is after ruined orgasms. He will still be submissive enough to lick it up without any hesitations.

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It looks one way: Like she's a bitch who locked his cock and is making him do a lot of shit he doesn't want to do.

But that's not what it is. He loves her, she loves him, and they love playing this game, because the cage focuses his desire on her, and the cage gives her a measure of power and control and joy.

They work well together, in serving each other.

And he doesn't want to be told what to do all the time, like some child. He wants to do what she DESIRES him to do, because it gives her pleasure.

@myheartinherhands