the one on the left seems nice, like okay!! i'll come over!! :)

the one on the right sickens me, dont fucking point at me you fucker, i hate his retched aura i wanna bite his finger off

i also wanna bite a toddler

i am still the dog in this scenario, i am their pitbull

me & my ex wife in divorce court trying to get the dog to choose which one of us he wants to go with

i think personally that daylight savings should be at 2pm so we can go home from work earlier but the other one should still happen at night so we gain an hour of sleep. has anyone looked into this yet?

I use FIRE EXTINGUISHER (🧯) to put out FIRE (🔥)

[INSPECTION OUT OF DATE. FIRE EXTINGUISHER (🧯) FAILS. I SUCCUMB TO SMOKE INHALATION (💨🫁😵). FAMILY CASTS MOURN (🙁).]

🐀🐀🐀🐁🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐁🐀🐀sniff sniff 🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐁🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐁sniff🐀🐀🐀🐀

Oh hiiiiiiiii little g- 💀

[BLOGGER HIT BY BONE SPELL. UNRELATED TO RAT VISIT.]

this is why ASMR Cranial Nerve Exam videos are so important

Juggernaut (Playstation)

is gonzo one of gods creations

can the muppets achieve salvation

i’m spit

and i’m swallow

and we’re the food brothers

if a man has a film degree, thats a little fruity to me (good thing) but thats also dependent on a review of his letterboxd account

you can always lose fruit status

I fucking hate Jerry the mouse. Leave. Tom. ALONE.

breezepilled?

if i ever marry a beautiful woman i will never gaze lovingly into her eyes while we are under a big white sheet in our bed

i actually won the disney danimals sweepstakes but ive never talked about it because i saw dylan sprouse die and had to sign an NDA

they replaced him with a clone the next day…..the conditions on that set mann……that was definitely not the first clone and i dont think it was the last

used to work at chuckie cheese before they fired me for suggesting they should have chuckie smoke cigs it was so bullshit because we made a lot of money from the kids seeing chuckie smoke the cigs on stage (we used an animatronic but emptied it out and put a guy in there, that still makes it legally distinct from a costume though so we circumvented taxes that way) and then playing a fuck ton of games to win enough tickets to get cigs at the prize booth, which technically they weren’t buying them so it was legal, but then thatd get them hooked on cigs so wed sell them more out back, we actually made about 8-6 mil in profits from cigs alone at our test location the month we tried it out but since we had to cook the books somehow to hide all the kid cig sales we laundered the money by turning some local public schools into charters and gaining full ownership and so when the irs came through on a audit after getting suspicious they saw all these kids there so it added up but all the charter kids got addicted to cigs and that shot our profits up and eventually we couldnt keep up the lie and i was the scapegoat :/ best job of my life though

if you have an adblocker on hulu shows you the scary versions of all your favorite shows

peacock put a virus on my computer that generates deepfake videos of me committing crimes and is threatening to release them if i don’t uninstall uBlock Origin

please somebody help me my life is in fucking shambles

a thought so in tuned to my inner self it gives you tinnitus

you got that dawg in me

you got hat dawg in me

the milkman, the paperboy, the evening tv

oh youve got that dawg in me

getting high and seeing the family mental illness tree