unicahmattot
The Lady Behind the Mask
Strong Independent woman. Still exploring life and what it can offer.
115 posts
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How can someone who can love so much hurts the most?
How can someone who can love so much hurts the most? Do other people find them unvaluable? Are the privilege of being happy only to selected people?
It is difficult to trust once everything is broken, but there are people who really are willing to take the risk to love again wholeheartedly but why they are the one’s who are not blessed to be happy? Some really came from difficult situation but still courageous to take a step and be vulnerable.
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STUPENDOUS ENCOUNTER
Total strangers meeting initially
Texting and calling becomes daily
Every spoken word listened attentively
And even sharing personal activities comfortably
I, then suddenly felt and realized
That when I look into your eyes
And see your sweetest smile
I’m already enchanted and mesmerized
I finally found peace.....in you
Not having what ifs and fear too
My heart felt safe and sound,
Everything I want in my beau
Thank God for knowing you
I turn into my happy self again
Dreaming of gleeful memories to happen
And a tomorrow full of me and you
11/13/2022 2:38 PM
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Find your bliss
The uncertainty of life is unpredictable. Some people keep on searching for their bliss not knowing it is already in front of them. Some kept getting their standards high, unaware of the unforeseen moments when they can feel true happiness. Sometimes, we just need to open our hearts to see and feel the things and people that can make us happy.
And when you find that happiness, don’t ever let it go. Don’t even try to suppress the feelings you have. Don’t even ignore the fact that someone is willing to take the risks to be with you and make you happy with all his or her might.
Choose right. Love best. Always take the route to HAPPINESS!
11/08/2022 3:43PM
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Life is like a bottle of wine, the older it gets, the tastier it can be.
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Disappointment to heal
Have you ever been disappointed with yourself? Like, you made a mistake that turned your life upside down and you can’t forgive yourself for it, kept thinking of what have you been doing now or where are you now if that never happened. The hatred might be kept growing, the sadness filling in, and the big picture became a draft of what it should have been.
I have been fighting with my own for the past 3 - 4 years and kept listening to the same old melody that sometimes drowns me from sadness and anger. The disappointment I drew in myself had a great impact on my well-being. The disappointment I drew in my family killed me right the moment I knew that I was pregnant. I know how proud my family is of all the achievements I received in life, they support me in every challenge that hit me hard and pushed me to get up and be someone better than the old me, and then the news came to them like a heartbreaking moment to all of us - dreams shattered instantly. It was a very difficult situation. I felt like dying every day, then I felt like I’m not getting enough support from the person I thought is responsible to take care of everything, to be helping me to go through hardships and all. His presence feels like a fire - I can see it but I can’t feel it. There are happy days, don’t get me wrong, but the agonizing days outshine those moments. I was devasted, scared, stressed, depressed, and all the negative feelings that I shouldn’t be feeling if I didn’t commit the mistake I did.
However, every year is an improvement, though. Every year is a step away from the wound and a step toward letting go of my ego and my What ifs in life. I am trying to open up myself to people now, step by step, bit by bit. I still worry if there is someone who will still love me...genuinely love me despite knowing I am a single mom. If I still can be that happy, start anew and accept my mistake is already a part of me until I grow old. I know I overthink a lot, and I know these worries are being erased piece by piece.
Now, I already accepted the fact that I can’t turn back time. Now, I know in myself I’m healed and ready to open up my heart and trust again. I learned the lesson life offered me in a very shocking and challenging way. I just want to be happy, live with no more regrets, better decision-making, love like there’s no tomorrow, express my feelings more but not too much, happily play a new song to give a kickstart to something new, and have someone to peacefully ride the crazy path we’re about to take. I want slow love, to get to know the depth of the person’s heart and mind and to enjoy the talks whether we have boring, tired, happy, or crazy days. And yes, I believe I’m expressive enough introducing myself and the feelings I have inside...but scared at the same time, asking myself if the page matched. Hoping for the best as the days go by.
11/06/2022 12:37 AM
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Beautiful You
Winning silent battles with yourself is a thousand times more valuable than the scars you hide for years. People can see your sweetest smile, and yet they cannot see the loneliness and distress in your eyes. You are always there for them but never came to rescue you when you’re drowning in tears. Building a wall between them gave you comfort for keeping your guard up, there are a few who tries to break your wall to get closer but ended up destroying you when you gave them what is left in you. You once again pick up the shattered pieces, trying to stick them together to make a whole you again, you keep those scars like it’s an art of being you - being authentic, innocent, affectionate, and unique. You wonder what did you do wrong to deserve all the pain, struggles, and discomfort, and never find the answer and yet you believe that there will be better days. You cry yourself to sleep, praying that your tomorrow will make you genuinely happy. You heal your wound, fix the broken you, rise again like you never fell, and consistently create a new and better version of you - the YOU who can show love as you’ve never been hurt, show happiness like you never felt sadness, and be kind even when the world is cruel to you.
Trust YOU, because, in this world, YOU can always make yourself important and loved.
11/04/2022 3:45 AM
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Sinking In
Days gone by so fast
But the feelings will last
All those highs and lows
Will surely be outcast
Nothing in this world is permanent
Can we just get stuck with the present?
Uncertain with what tomorrow brings
But hoping with a happy ending
Let the sadness turn to smile
Forget about your worries for a while
All challenges need to be surpassed
So you'll have a great picture of your canvass
11/03/2022 12:25PM
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Meeting Unexpectedly
Meeting you is so unexpected
Surprised that you’re more than what I’ve wanted
Maybe God knows you’re the person I needed
To feel that my heart has been completed
The slow love I’ve been waiting for
Seems already entered my door
Meeting the man that I’ll love to the core
Makes me look at the world full of colors
Never imagine a day being distant
Talking to you will always be my constant
Showing you my heart is important
No way that I’ll be reluctant
Sending you all those reels
To let you know how I feel
Hope now you know what I feel
Because what I’m feeling is a real deal.
10/27/2022 4:38 AM
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Hidden within the Riddle
Always the person who makes me smile
Brought the sunshine again into my life
How could someone living a thousand miles,
Incur happiness to me in a rife?
Jived with things comparably
In any sense, we talk comfortably
Though haven’t seen each other physically
He already sweeps my heart completely
Pessimism has been my sympathy
I consistently see my future as gloomy
Love and feelings never incur to me, but
Looking at the depth of me...
Another reason to look forward came
In an unexpectedly gleeful way
10/19/2022 10:10AM
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Lookalove
The voice that became my melody
The smile that became my happiness
The eyes that became my reflection
Everything changed from that day
The day my heart falls in love again
In love without knowing
If he’ll catch or ignore me
There are times I want him to be mine
So no one else could have him
But I don’t have the right
That made the sadness in my heart
I want this to move further
I want this to lasts longer
I want this to be forever
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Motherly Love
the day I was born
is the day when I saw the sun’s light
it’s when you gave me the sight
the sight of love and the big bear hugs
that comforts me deep inside.
my moon and stars in the dark
my guardian angel when I sleep
til’ dawn you guide me
a doctor when I’m sick
and my strength when I am weak
the ABC’s and 123’s to me
a patient introductory teacher
for a such rebel beginner
until one day you’ll be amaze
because i finish the maze
the strengthful provider
a caring and lovely mother
don’t ask me if she’s a fighter
when it comes to me, okay?
because i’m her only baby daughter
07-06-10
10:06
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Loving you secretly
Fading away the day
here comes night to stay
i want to tell you what I feel
I want to show you its real
everything I wanna say
are buried so faraway
i know you have someone
and I need to be gone
I also need to stop hoping
because my sadness is overflowing
all I wanted was you
to hold and never let go
because you are my motivation
and forever secret inspiration
September 30, 2014
7:52pm
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Praise to You, Oh Lord God
My perspective have been changed again
still getting confuse which to choose
because the flashback of all the pain
wanting me over to loose
the way I’m now taking path
is my new chapter to start
wondering where will I end up
hoping to have a better map
I entrust my life to our Lord God
He is the only one that I am praising
giving me blessings worth more than gold
makes my faith strong and rising.
Worshiping and loving Him
completely feed my heart and my soul
guiding me in everyday living
that Thank YOU is not enough uttering
October 3, 2015
4:17pm
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The feelings I set to keep
Shining like the stars at night
as I look upon your twinkling eyes
I see the colorful soul in my sight
that my feelings cannot deny through lies
the sweetness in your voice I always hear
makes me forget all the pain I feel
the butterfly in my stomach that grumbles whenever you’re near
makes my world go spinning on a treadmill
carefully I hide everything I have inside
for the stronger bond that all we have
wanting his feelings to subside
change into something friendly love.
October 3, 2015
3:59pm
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Fly high and soar the sky
Every now and then
I have a determined attempt
Attempt to reach for the sky
And find wings to fly high
All my efforts and determination
Will surely alleviate me
My family and friends as inspiration
The succor for me to be carefree
The obstacle course I’m taking
Left, right and U-turn I’m struggling
A maze where I need to keep fighting
I will surely surpass amazingly
Years will pass by swiftly
I will soon have a better me
Having a career to boost
And a tip-top life robust.
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SOMEONE TOOK MY EVERYTHING AWAY
Days turns to years
happiness turns to tears
laughter turns to worries
everything turns to memories
Feelings were forgotten
out of this world often
findng myself daydreaming
can’t help but still hoping
Wishing that one day
I'l find my eyes twinkle
Everywhere will sparkle
with love each day
You take everything away
every particles of life,
my dream to be your wife
but I know you’ll never come back
I am now starting life anew
leaving those pain from past
no more crying like mew
Need to be forget this woe
because life is moving too fast.
9-12-13 / 9-19-13
4:32PM /4:41PM
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