>hear frantic clicking and the sounds of exertion

>must be a rhythm game player

>genuinely impressed at the apm

>look outside

>crabs are pinching a man to death

"Happy Valentine’s Day to my one undead true love. #LisaFrankenstein now playing ❤️‍🩹"

Saw Lisa Frankenstein the other night

i think if lisa asked the creature if he’d still love her if she was a worm he’d do that cat hacking up a hairball move again and give her an actual worm and she’d think it was the most romantic thing ever

I shake a treat bag until all the fans with terrible reading comprehension and hatred for my favs come running, then I toss a couple treats down the hall for them. They scrabble after the treats as a pack, eating each other as they go, and while they're distracted I bolt through a secret door, slamming it behind me, barricading myself in. I'm safe, in my evil lair. I type "villain sad" on my evil keyboard, back-lit by a sinister green lava lamp, and no one stops me

(I hear scratching at the door)

find a man who cherishes you enough to cut off the dick of the man who has scorned you in order to use it to tenderly make love to you after proposing with a peach ring so that you do not have to die a virgin and can instead live on forever with him while he regularly brings flowers to your gravesite and tends to your undead body's electrocution wounds as he reads percy bysshe shelley's poetry to you. do NOT settle for less.

i am so dead serious when i say lisa frankenstein is my barbie movie

i am so dead serious when i say lisa frankenstein is my barbie movie

i am so dead serious when i say lisa frankenstein is my barbie movie

i am so dead serious when i say lisa frankenstein is my barbie movie

i am so dead serious when i say lisa frankenstein is my barbie movie

i am so dead serious when i say lisa frankenstein is my barbie movie

*ges scared and starts creaming and crying*

finding out there's a frankenstein ballet and that it was in october of last year…DEVASTATING

look at this. look at these. im foaming at the mouth

Horror movie fans are so funny because you'll bring up the biggest actor who's in 10,000 iconic roles, and they'll go, "Oh, the guy from Blood Burger 4: Keep Flipping." and that's the only thing on their filmography that they've seen.

Girl are you the Hays Code the way you consider media irredeemable if it depicts anything that strays away from the norm you're comfortable with or depicts anything morally questionable without definitively condemning it and anyone associated with it, therefore creating worse stories and content and making it difficult for people to engage with complicated issues from a nuanced and controlled perspective?

you know how when you go out in the middle of the woods, your phone loses internet service? that is because the trees naturally protect you from the evil dark energy rays generated by influencers and twitter opinions. follow for more information about the beauty of nature