This is insane

cashier: ok that'll be $20

me (visibly sweating): ah, yes, of course! a perfectly reasonable price for a grilled cheese and a small smoothie! that was exactly the price i expected you to say when i ordered a single grilled cheese and a smoothie and my vision is NOT getting blurry as we speak! i am a perfectly normal temperature and my speech patterns are natural and even because this is the countenance of an individual who expected to pay 20 american dollars for a single grilled cheese and a smoothie!

cashier: where's all that blood coming from

A general reminder—periodic cicadas pose no threat to anyone and their plant damage is limited to nipping off the ends of twigs. Please do not hose them with pesticide. They are slow and clumsy and confused and only want to make friends with other cicadas and eventually die of sexual exhaustion.

Yes, the screaming is a lot, but they’ve been extremely quiet neighbors for thirteen years, cut them some slack as they go through the most fraught time of their lives.

Hot queer spaces tip: never trust any spot that has fewer than 2 fat and hairy people present!! You have no idea what other problems the space has if they can’t even meet the bear minimum

Melanie and Jon:

Me when consuming new media:

columns of kelp underwater are so gorgeous. absolutely one of my favorite things in the natural world

Pride Month is upon us again and so it is time to repost my little guy, Hue! I’m wishing everyone a safe, supportive, positive, and enlightening Pride, whether you’re all the way “out” or not!

me every time i log onto tumblr dot com

i think far too many people have only seen this video as that one sped up gif version of it and that is a crime that needs to be fixed because this video actually changed my life

He’s so cool

On a date

one thing the human emotional range is lacking is the predator animal ability to stare at people while holding the limp, bloody corpse of your prey in your mouth

Just woke up, what's the move