vampires don't need to bathe because they can't sweat or anything but they absolutely get dirty from running through the woods all day. so whenever that happens carlisle lines all the kids up outside and absolutely blasts the shit out of them with the pressure washer like he's trying to get mud off a car

Harry Potter fans being disappointed that their writer is super bigoted.

Twilight fans:

A LOT HARDER THAN IT LOOKS

I made this at 4am; do with it what you will

Sam uley more like sam uGley am i right fellas

i love dominant men but at the same time if a man tells me what to do i’ll bodyslam him

This is what Emmett told himself every night when jasper and Alice ran away in bd2

cowboys never die. they just ride off into the sunset

The mood for 2019 is respecting abuse survivors privacy and not demanding to know every detail of their abuse in order to deem them ‘believable’.

Part two billy has a matching one

twilight au where charlie’s wearing this hat in every scene even the wedding

Do you guys remember that part in eclipse where jasper was like “we’re gonna practice on Emmett because he’s the most like a newborn. He’s strong and he’s a fucking idiot” because that was iconic what a fucking savage burn from that funky little cowboy

im so ready to be in a relationship so whenever the universe is ready hmu with a keeper

bella: so what’s esme’s vampire talent?

edward: [flashbacks through 80 years of desperately trying to block out the sound of esme sucking carlisle’s brain out through his dick]

edward: …her ability to Love Passionately

lovable best friend jacob black who the end of new moon never happened to would eventually become friends with emmett and the two would play a version of hackeysack that involved hackeying anything mildly sack shaped and this includes most of edward’s belongings because edward cannot know peace in any universe

has this been done yet

I find the twilight renaissance funny, and I’m all for eliminating cringe culture, but let’s remember that smeyer changed Quileute legends and beliefs to fit her narrative, gave animalistic/abusive traits to her Native characters, reinforcing the uncontrollable “savage” stereotype, made the “pure”, pale vampires constantly insult and antagonize the werewolves (whose land they were living on) for no reason, and overall wrote some pretty racist stuff about her Native characters

people give twilight a lot of shit but its depiction of stupid teenaged boys is unparalleled