you used to scare me on my scarephone

more wilsnoopy and housestock <3

do you think pushing someone down the stairs is erotic?

god. this is such a difficult question am i under oath

has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment

just saw a single piece of paper drift past 50 feet in the air over buildings like a beautiful white bird

i touched the wrong button at the self checkout register at work and started hand stimming and the straight lady coworker who was coming over to approve my employee discount said “work!” because she thought i was voguing 😭

Happy I’m in the trenches Tuesday everyone

faggot.com/careers

i just remembered my favourite fucking tweet

i like when ventposts self censor in a way thats completely incomprehensible to anyone else like 'im so sick of ****** ******* ******' . im sorry that youre going through it. can i buy a vowel

Me just after opening a Word document