Sure my mom doesn't have an Instagram, but who cares SHE'S THE BEST.

finally summer 😻 (VC: LeanandCuisine)

I physically shed a real tear laughing so hard "Haha quick edit #deZnuts #LOL #loop #niggas"

This is and should be every church's mission. Who is Jesus to you? To Fort Walton Beach? Why does it matter?

Here comes datboi

listen I know I can’t stop talking about The Shining but I’m really stuck on the fact that if a modern remake were made (and it didn’t take place in the 60s or 80s) “here’s Johnny” would be a pretty irrelevant line unless it were purely referential to the predecessor and it would either have to be cut altogether or a new irreverent pop culture reference would have to be made

Literally everyone's rxn to @JacobSartorious "#possibleremake (ib: lmao jack)"

Cones of Dunshire

For Amelia’s birthday this year, Kyle arranged for us all to play the fictional game Cones of Dunshire, from the television show Parks and Recreation. If you don’t know the show, Cones of Dunshire is an elaborate board game that pokes fun at games like Settlers of Catan. Kyle found a meticulous set of rules via the blog Cephalofair Games. The rules are 26 pages long. I 3D printed some figurines to use as pieces. If you want to see the 3D models that would be appropriate for this game, I’ve collected them all on Thingiverse. Our initial printing plans (“Buildings in each player color: 10 Barracks, 10 Farms, 10 Forts, 10 Industrial Corridors, 10 Commercial Corridors, 10 Transportation Hubs; Avatar for each player color: 2 Warriors, 2 Wizards, 1 Maverick, 1 Arbiter, 1 Corporal; Monsters: 1 Dragon; 1 Kraken; 1 Fire worm; 1 Minotaur”) proved a little ambitious. I got sidetracked by making some 4-sided dice, but did manage to print out the monsters and some of the avatars. We tried playing strictly by the rules to begin with, but it rapidly became clear that we weren’t up to the challenge. So Kyle spent a thoughtful 10 minutes coming up with a simplified version, and with new rules in hand, the evening was a resounding success. The following photos and quotes capture the experience nicely I think:

Kyle: I rolled a 6 and a 4. So, I will roll 10 dice on my turn. …Yes, this is the simplified version. Alex (rolling dice): 46! All: Wow! Yeah! (Pause) Alex: And, what do we get to do with that? Briana: I’d like to buy a dragon. Kyle: Dragons cost… 400 wood. Talia: I’d like to buy a vowel. Katie: You just destroyed our livelihood! Without that farm– Janey: –how will you feed your kraken? Amelia: I don’t want to buy any monsters. That’s a waste of my money. Mark: Did you hear what she said, Lava Worm?? Amelia: The changing the rules thing– Janey: It’s what makes it fun, keeps it fresh. It’s like being in a relationship! You gotta keep changing the rules. Mark: That’s what happens when you bring a cone to a wizard fight! Amelia: I could win right now. And I plan on it. All (after game ends): Yay, Kyle! Yay, Ledgerman! Lynn: Wait, did someone win? Talia: I think we’re all going to have really weird dreams tonight.

howd spongebob get this ripped 😓😫 what’s his max on the bench💪💪he swole

Newness

A ton of writers want you to think that they are the most professional, the highest paid, and the greatest, most experienced bloggers to ever touch the face of the internet. But they’re not, and that’s okay. Today, Feb. 15, 2016, I’d like to state that I am new at writing professionally. I’m pretty new to life, as a matter of fact, but age seldom matters. I hope to take a unique angle to…

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This blog is an American problem. Now I'm all for free speech, but why doesn't @usaproblems use it to praise the country that gives it its freedoms?

USA Problem #111

Being forced to pledge to the flag everyday at school.

USA Problem #151

The fact that “terrorist” strictly refers to Islamic people and “mentally ill” is reserved for white people

Daisy Ridley being actual baby. (x)

“You will wake up one day and you will not be the you you once were. And that will keep happening to you until you die, which is kind of wonderful” (video)

"Walmart was a madhouse"