I was born hungry

Saturn Devouring His Son if it were a Draw The Squad meme from 2014

hhhnnngg monster women

mom: i believe gay marriage is wrong

me: mom look at this post i made on tumblr, it has 20,000 notes. look how many people disagree with you

mom: wow you are right i have totally changed my views i was wrong and that number 20,000 on this website i dont know of has convinced me. thank you tumblr.com

I’ve been struggling financially since a house fire, we’re finally moving back home this week but I need help with groceries and transportation to work 🥺💖

0/250

https://cash.app/$hoekravitz

https://venmo.com/u/hoekravitz

paypal.me/ryanhawkins23

no but driving actually rots your brain because the sheer immense rage that car drivers react with when you suggest making streets safer for cyclists and pedestrians is just straight up childish.

if someone brought karl marx back to life the first thing I would do is have a shopping montage to get him modern outfits where I shake my head yes or no to the outfits he picks out but then after that we'd get down to serious business

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

how i see the world after taking a shitty accidental hour long nap

tokusatsu designers are so unmatched. you get handed your next assignment and it just says "make a guy that's a wall" and you fucking deliver

Any conspiracy theory about people going missing in National Parks is automatically silly to me. Like "Why are National Parks such a hotbed of disappearances???" because they're full of idiots. You've got thousands of people who've never pissed outdoors in their life wandering around the woods/desert/mountain with zero experience and zero gear and zero understanding that this place can kill them. You don't see as many disappearances in wild areas because people don't go to them unless they have some background knowledge. Whereas you get tour buses full of old folks and suburban families shuttling people into National Parks 365 days a year. If you took the same amount of buffoons and dropped them in the actual wilderness the disappearances would be significantly higher than at the parks. Use your brain.

stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. pick one sports team you hate and blame them for everything

I know this is a niche one but I can’t get it out of my head.