Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex

クラッシュ・バンディクー4 さくれつ!魔神パワー So i launched a ROM called Crash Bandicoot – The Wrath of Cortex (USA) (v1.01).bin on PCSX2. With how i hate PCSX2 it was working surprisingly fine. I finished some levels and saw no problems. And then i decided to press the pop-up asking to update the emulator. And here it is, the stupid-arse PS2 and/or PCSX2 double vision. I wasted an hour or two looking up the…

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Age of Empires

Patch 1.0c Herzog Zwei is not an RTS Dune 2 is the first RTS Once upon a time we celebrated a new year at my uncle’s who is one year older than me. When we got our presents i got some Rainbow Siege and he got a collection of strategic games. He already owned most of them, and i didn’t like FPS games at the time. Especially the Rainbow Six, that we installed then and proceeded to spend a couple of…

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ロックマン3 Dr.ワイリーの最期!? [Rockman 3 Dr. Wairi no saigo!?] (Mega Man Legacy Collection)

It’s yet another map pack to Rockman. The cartoon style and the designs are ok. The same peculiar Rockman game-design, is yet again ruined by bad hitboxes, scam arcade difficulty and scam timings. Terrible waste of time man The kinaesthetics are absolutely terrible. The controls are awfully sticky — you can’t even shoot and jump, only jump and shoot. You can’t even shoot up. All small and and…

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Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy

Traveller’s Tales Oxford intended for Twinsanity to be Nina Cortex’s debut. When a preview screenshot for Crash Bandicoot Purple: Ripto’s Rampage showed Nina Cortex, they were surprised, as Vicarious Visions had used the character without informing them.[2] There’re unskippable intros screaming at you at every launch. There’re no subtitles in this 2017 game. The new voices are way worse, and even…

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Madame Web (2024)

Leaping spider-fetus! This is not a drill, i repeat, leaping spider fetus. That somewhat known by some people character, that is known for being an old lady, was turned into a young woman. Who is younger than me. And this film doesn’t take place in the the 60s or even in the 80s. This takes place in the beginning of 2004. By 2024 she will still be younger than Madonna and Madonna doesn’t look…

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TIGER-HELI / タイガーヘリ (Steam)

This is the best release of this game. It offers rewinds notquick saves and saving to file. You can run the game with no fake filtres. There are no baked-in envelopes and there’s screen rotation, allowing you to properly play it on your 3//4 vertical screen. But if you polish a turd you will still have a turd in the end. The stupid chopper is impossibly slow, while the screen is entirely filled…

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Les Rivières pourpres (2000)

Russian subtitles. Les Rivières pourpres is an adaptation of Les Rivières pourpres and it’s a detective film. The cool mystery with the loose cops is cool. But the resolution is not that strong. And because of that you start to unravel all the unrealistic circumstances.

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Gretel & Hansel (2020)

It’s a suffering middle ages take on Hänsel und Gretel with a witchboss story. It is a slow film with creepy imagery and anachronistic injections, like neo-brutalist architecture.It’s okay. But also the team had enough cucks in the positions of power to make this film in a triple-fake aspect ratio. Do you enjoy your expensive screen you’ve bought to enjoy kinematograph? Well, screw you, it’s 1.55…

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Crash Bandicoot: Warped

Hot diggity damn, Coco looks hot! I’ve played ROM called Crash Bandicoot – Warped (USA).bin on DuckStation 0.1-6461-g359678a1 (dev) On the original hardware the third game was obviously superior to the previous ones. It’s easier, it offers a bigger moveset and there’s so much of different stuff in it. Stuff, stuff, stuff, bazooka, motorcycle, tiger, bear, aqualung, spy submarine, planes, jet-ski,…

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Zánik domu Usherú

Russian subtitles. It’s an art-house short “based on” The Fall of the House of Usher. The narrator just reads the text over some visuals. Which are structurally not that different from Meshes of the Afternoon. It’s just random shots, sequences of stop motion film, and clay animation.

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Tichý týden v dome

It’s like Švankmajer has come up with this new terrible VFX and made six silent shorts. But he didn’t knew what to do with them, so he assembled a grimy ugly anthology short film and called it a silent week in a house.

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十二生肖 / CZ12 [Shí'èr shēngxiào]

Russian subtitles. 21 years after the last film Fang Shilong decided to make another film with this character. By 2012 he already had 伟大的舵手主席猫 balls deep inside him, and he was demanding to annihilate freedom of speech, so this is a very zhongguo production. The film has many languages, but i don’t think i heard much cantonese. The creators had decency to actually hire many native voice-actors…

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飛鷹計劃 / Armour of God II: Operation Condor (117 min) [Fei ying jihua]

English subtitles A movie with no armour and no god. The sequel went all-in into a comedy. A comedy from the 90s. Two hours of 30 years old jokes. The freshest pepes can’t be smelled here. Now Jackie personally works for that rich guy, but also he got involved with the UN or something. The rich guy’s daughter is not participating in this film. Jackie played by Jackie has to babysit two-three…

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Luca (2021)

Megageneric super lazy humans are not as nazi as they seem film and you already saw it before. Their magic transformation has no rules, the tail just magically clips through clothes, wet clothes are magically dry and so is hair. The speed changes from drying to instantaneous. All adults see a teenage dork being literally a bandit and do not beat him up, especially cops.

Da vinki

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The Blackening (2022)

The main requirement for a comedy film is to be actually funny. This comedy-slasher is actually funny.

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龍兄虎弟 / Armour of God (1986) [Lóng xiōng hǔ dì]

Russian subtitles. It’s a classic Jackie Chan action-comedy production. But it’s like they made the good action parts first, and then filled the blanks with extra low-effort non-comedy. Interesting how yankees always make everyone from speak english when they depict foreigners. And here we see everyone speaking cantonese through a dub. And judging by how everyone speaks the same way, it seems in…

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Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

brosis.swf Soon after i’ve finished Crash Bandicoot, i’ve started playing Crash Bandicoot 2. Too soon. Playing the same thing again just doesn’t work for me, it was the same with Metroid Prime 2. At least it didn’t at the time, but i’ve noticed that the older person i become the easier it for me to wallow in dementiad repetition. So i was doing something in Steam and ended up in the Crash…

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