crime show: well we don’t know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she’s mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she’s saying ‘those three wise men they’ve got a semi by the sea’ which are lyrics to James Blunt’s song ‘Wisemen’ which was playing on that store’s favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore

Messed up how Americans are so attached of their measurement system… Oh, so you really like feet, uh? You don’t want to use anything other than feet? You just really love feet? Do you have something to share with the class?

Toddler accidentally cursed himself into an identity crisis today.

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This.

This is why people who stay in my life are neurodiverse like me!

'Star Wars' and 'Harry Potter' are two franchises that try to claim, textually, that it doesn't really matter who your family is whilst showing subtextually that it unequivocally does matter who your family is.

People, and I cannot stress this enough: just hire a graphic designer.

im at your girls house telling her all the lore for my fictional daydream universes

friendship is when you say things to each other online that would be considered cyberbullying out of context <3

i know an engineer-type dude who said fiction bored him, because fiction is mostly-formulaic and tropey, and you can generally guess what’s gonna happen next, and yada yada

so his solution for this problem was… to solely read serial web novels in languages that (1) he did not speak, and (2) for which there was no actual translation, fan or otherwise

apparently, the combined forces of “trying to figure out WTF is going on via the power of Google Translate" + “cultural differences in storytelling conventions” + “the inherent randomness of where the hell amateur authors are gonna take their plots”—those all mashed up to make stories that were unpredictable enough to keep him guessing all the time

then he described to me this totally batshit-sounding Hungarian story he’d been obsessively reading once a week for years

and god i think about him all the time.  like.  that is the most wild way to process fiction that i have ever heard of, but also, i’ve gotta admire the sheer chaos energy of it

just once i’d like a pokemon game where the gyms are fucked up. you start your journey and town#1 is like “hey there newbie, i’m Verdie and at this gym we only use green pokemon” so you’re like ‘alright nbd i’ll whip out my fire starter’ and Verdie immediately summons Vibrava. fuck you gonna do now.

“at this gym we only deal in pokemon who start with M :)” “i only use pokemon with no legs” “this gym only uses pokemon under one meter tall”

please god something interesting for once.

me at age 13: this character’s my favorite because they’re really cool and capable and the smartest person ALIVe, obviously

me now: this character is the dumbest person in the entire fucking universe. they’re so stupid. i would die for them.

(soft boof)

“Don’t lose courage yet, we’re only getting started” ma’am I legit feel like crying rn saying that at 8pm is just cruel

“fuck you my child is fine” ma’am your child was a pleasure to have in class

The B in Bromance are actually sunglasses so if u remove them it’s a lot more serious

https://www.twitch.tv/treflev

Also, if anyone wants to watch me figure out how to use a tablet 👀