๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
201 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
sc3n3c0r3n1ck
## NICK!
i-am-almosting
I kept waiting
synpa-tee
Autistic Chiaki
missoliverstark
Oliver Stark
saintsforsakencity
Officially Defunct, Sorry
Text
ok if we have any threads, all replies are gonna come from the new blog since im 90% done lmao, see y'all on the flipside
0 notes
Text
ok im Mostly done w setting up my other blog, and like i said, there are a few people i already plan on following and i'm not giving out the url publicly, but i do have my pinned post w my alias on it, so you'll know its me lol.
0 notes
Text
โ not often , & never by myself. they were ... overprotective in the same way mother was most of the time. i was kept indoors far more often than i would've liked. โ
joshua is more than content , however , to stand in the open field , feel the fresh air & take in the sight. his smile brightens , tearing his gaze away from the endless sky & turning back towards clive.
โ i suppose i'm still not quite used to the idea of freedom . going where i want , doing what i want ... choosing things for myself. โ
his gaze lingers on clive for a moment , as if to emphasize a point , mouth curled up into a bright smile.
โ do you think we'll ever truly get used to it ?? the freedom to choose ?? โ
A walk it is then. A nod of his head is given in Joshua's direction. With any luck, they'll make it out of the hide away, and to fresh air without anyone bothering them.
Clive takes the lead and leads Joshua away from the place. It takes them a while and Clive has no real destination but eventually they make it to a open field and plenty of fresh air.
There's a town nearby, too, in case they'd like to go get something to eat or find something to do but truthfully, Clive is content with spending time with Joshua instead.
Freedom to go where he wants is still so odd to him.
Head turns to look over at Joshua and a smile curls the corners of his lips upwards, "Did the Undying allow you to go many places? Before Cid, I was kept a close watch on, too."
@tragidies
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
โ trust me , i've not changed that much since we were children. โ
joshua can't help but chuckle slightly when clive says he doesn't know what joshua likes now. the phoenix is much the same as when he was young , at least in terms of most of his preferences.
after all , no matter how old he may be now , he still can't be made to eat his carrots.
& no matter how old he gets , joshua still enjoys sneaking away to spend time with clive , hearing his stories & simply being near him , & that unabashedly fond expression appears on his face once more , lingering in clive's space without really touching him.
โ i think that's a good place to start. โ
It isn't as if Clive can talk much, he too worries too much especially when it concerns Joshua. Some things never truly do change - it's a good thing neither of them seem to mind their worry for another.
Another smile crosses his features and finally he lets go of Joshua, taking a step back, before he pauses in a sort of awkward manner. He'd asked the question but the truth is he has no idea what Joshua enjoys doing.
"I.....I'm afraid I don't know the things you enjoy now. Shall we talk a walk and go from there?" Fresh air and a peaceful walk is a great start, right?
@tragidies
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
โ a habit i've yet to be able to break. โ
if there was ever an opportunity to spend time with his brother , joshua is bound to take it. he's spent far too many years away from his brother's side , the phoenix would be a fool to let such precious time go to waste.
โ i'd like that. it's been too long since we spent any valuable time together. โ
the phoenix was a child the last time any meaningful moments were shared with his brother , & even those were few & far between , a freedom he begged for but was often denied by their mother. but now they were grown , & their mother could not separate them anymore , & for that , joshua is grateful.
โ lead the way then , brother. i'll follow. โ
Oh, it's obvious, but Clive choose to say nothing about it when only moments earlier he'd been trying to hide his own flush. He tilts his head slightly at Joshua, that fond smile never once fading.
They should probably leave the safety of his room at some point. They can't hide out here forever. "You worry too much." Clive says before he glances off towards the door.
"Would you like to go somewhere? Just the two of us - I don't care where but I rather not be needed by anyone so as long as it's away from the Hideaway...." He trails off, a little hopeful in his request.
@tragidies
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
i think i'm also gonna spend some time working on my blog revamp today as well, before i go to work and after i get home ( im literally only there for a few hours BUT im super not complaining bc im getting paid so ). i already have a few people in mind i want to follow, but i'm not giving out the url publicly bc it will heavily feature extremely dark topics plus i know that haz.bin hot.el is not everyone's cup of tea. but if you're comfortable with dark literature/themes ( abuse, death, etc. ) then you're more than welcome to ask for the url privately.
i intend on being extremely liberal with the block button going forward, as this is my space and i intend to curate it to my liking, just as everyone else is entitled and encouraged to do. i'll likely continue replies here until the blog is actually set up and then simply move any threads i want to keep to the new blog, which admittedly, i don't have much going at the moment since i've been so inactive
0 notes
Text
im sooo sleepy but after class i'll be able to be around for a bit !!
0 notes
Text
made it to class and forgot a damn pen :')
0 notes
Text
and with that i Actually have to head to mobile for the night bc i have to get up and go to school tomorrow. i work a little tomorrow night as well, but if i have the energy i should be around and working on my revamp as well
0 notes
Text
oh.
watching clive entwine their fingers together with that smile is enough to darken the color in joshua's face , & the phoenix swallows thickly. perhaps he understands what clive was feeling moments ago just now , & he nods after a moment.
โ i see. โ
but joshua is all too happy to let clive do as he pleases , his own smile brightening in response. the phoenix hopes the color to his face isn't terribly obvious , or that the fluttering in his chest doesn't make itself too known.
what a strange feeling to get from something as simple as this ... perhaps joshua was more starved for attention than he'd previously thought.
โ i'll admit , i was worried. but i'm glad there's nothing to worry about. โ
"I'm not overwhelmed." At least, Clive doesn't think he's overwhelmed. Fuck, he's not really good at this, is he? He thinks he's just stumbling over his own words and he worries that he's made Joshua think he's done something wrong.
So the hand still grabbing Joshua's entwines their fingers together and it is Clive's turn to give a fond smile, hoping the smile alone is reassuring.
If that isn't completely reassuring, maybe the gentle squeeze to his hand next is. "I'm not complaining, Joshua. You may look at me like that as much as you'd like, I was merely caught off guard."
@tragidies
#joshua u beloved Fool#* ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ : joshua โบ i hold with those who favor fire .#taleswritten#roscest tw
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
joshua relaxes slightly , concerned expression easing into something softer , sighing under his breath. perhaps he worries too much , but it can hardly be helped , he thinks. the phoenix's smile returns after a moment , that gentle affection returning to his eyes. it seems to come all too naturally to him whenever his brother is involved.
โ i suppose it's been a long time , hasn't it ?? โ
it's not the first time joshua has looked at clive in such a way , as though he were the center of the universe. it was a look clive was familiar with when they were younger , after all. joshua had idolized his brother , looked at him with nothing less than sheer adoration .
the phoenix supposed little had truly changed since then in that regard.
โ my apologies. i didn't mean to overwhelm you , clive. i suppose ... โ
a brief pause , & joshua's smile almost looks sheepish now , the slightest touch of pink coloring his face.
โ ... i simply couldn't help it. โ
How does he explain this without telling Joshua is nothing and dropping the subject completely? He's not sure he can bare to deny him his request when he already looks like a kicked puppy because Clive is shutting down.
Which is not entirely his intention, he just doesn't know what the hell to do right now, or these feelings that are bubbling up just from being looked at like he's the most precious person in the world.
"No. I'm not upset." That much he wants to make clear, so much so that Clive is quick to scramble and get the words out. He's really not upset and that's the last thing he wants his brother thinking. "Guess I'm just not used to being looked at like that. Like I'm the only thing that matters. With such.....love."
Once upon a time, these looks were normal and frequent but they're older now, Joshua is no longer a child that idolizes his brother way too much and these looks....they feel different.
@tragidies
#taleswritten#* ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ : joshua โบ i hold with those who favor fire .#roscest tw
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
when clive tells him not to worry , joshua's concern only grows. he can't help but to worry more. it's not as though he doesn't trust clive , but the phoenix knows his brother better than most , well enough to see through any lies he might tell. his pout grows into a sincere frown , genuinely worried.
โ talk to me , clive. โ
the phoenix's tone is gentle & pleading at the same time , the hand over clive's heart curling against his chest loosely. had he said something wrong , done something wrong ?? had he pushed too far , crossed some previously unknown line ??
he didn't want to do anything to drive clive away from him. but joshua is nothing if not stubborn , & his fingers curl around clive's hand as it pulls his away from his forehead.
โ please. something is bothering you. โ
joshua squeezes clive's hand gently , concern making his chest tighten slightly. his worry is evident on his face , brow furrowed slightly . he wants to understand , but he can't read clive's mind , know him though joshua might.
Clive could try to blame his flushed look on being hot but they'd know it's an obvious lie. Ifrit burns hot through his veins, keeping him at a constant yet comfortable state of warmth. Clive doesn't get hot and if he did, he'd be able too cool himself off with Shiva.
His first reaction is an urge to yank away from that grip on his chin but Clive can not bring himself to. Instead, he allows the action and follows Joshua's guidance until blue meets blue and he almost smiles at the concern on Joshua's face.
He could lie and say he's not feeling well but Joshua seems to see through his lies. It's not that he's a terrible liar, he's a pretty damn good one, but Joshua knows all his tells so that won't work here either.
He blinks at Joshua before shaking his head back and forth in a no motion, reaching up to grab that hand at his forehead and pull it away.
Thud, thud, thud. The steady beating of his heart refuses to leave him alone but he ignores it, because suddenly everything's becoming a lot more confusing and he rather not think about it.
He's never felt this way about anyone else, after all, and he tries not to put too much thought into it.
"I'm not sick, Joshua. Just - forget about it. I'm fine."
@tragidies
#taleswritten#* ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ : joshua โบ i hold with those who favor fire .#roscest tw
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
โ alright. but only if you promise to do the same. โ
perhaps arguments were easier to win when he was a child because he never knew what to say as a child. but he's older now , & clive seems to know that he's only gotten more stubborn with age.
โ stop looking at you like what , exactly ?? โ
one could argue that he was playing coy , but joshua truly felt a bit clueless as to what clive meant. he cocks his head to the side , expression curious as to his brother's words. he's not oblivious to the warmth coloring clive's face , one eyebrow raised. it's not as though averting his gaze will erase the color from his cheeks , after all.
โ you're flushed. are you feeling alright ?? โ
the hand against clive's face moves to gently grip his chin , turning his face back towards joshua. the phoenix's expression morphs into one of concern , pressing the back of his hand to clive's forehead.
โ perhaps you should rest if you're not feeling well. โ
unlike before , he's not teasing in the slightest.
It's hard to argue with Joshua. When they were younger, it was much easier, Joshua listened much better but things have changed drastically since then and he can't blame Joshua for wanting to protect him. Especially when Clive has fended for himself for so long, if the roles were reversed, he'd react the same way.
It's true, Clive is extremely stubborn, and the only reason he relents is because he knows this is not an argument he will win. "All I ask is you be careful." He wouldn't be able to handle it if he loses Joshua again, especially because of him.
Perhaps that is true but Clive is not eager to find out, one of the many reasons he has not told Joshua much of his past, though he thinks Joshua must have some idea. Still, he's glad he doesn't push that so far.
Suddenly Joshua is looking at him as if he hung the moon and the stars and it makes Clive blink at him in surprise, there's an involuntary hitch in his throat and he thinks he can feel his cheeks flush under the intensity of his brother's gaze.
He quickly turns his head to avoid Joshua's gaze and so he won't catch on to that warmth now spreading across his cheeks. What the hell is happening to him? Why did that look have such an effect on him?
"Stop looking at me like that."
@tragidies
#taleswritten#* ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ : joshua โบ i hold with those who favor fire .#roscest tw
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
also once i catch up on haz.bin ho.tel, what if i write char.lie and/or vag.gie
#im watching hockey w my parents rn but once thats over....haz.bin hot.el my beloved.....#* ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ : ooc โบ mothers & fuckers of the jury .
2 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
โ if i go out of my way to protect you , then i believe that's my choice. i don't intend for anyone to get hurt for me anymore. what good is the phoenix's power if i cannot keep those i love safe ?? โ
perhaps that was a lingering wound left from the undying , but joshua had no intentions of sacrificing someone else , of letting anyone else get hurt , even if it puts his own life at risk.
โ you say that as though you're not just as stubborn as me , brother. โ
that grin of his returns , just as bright & perhaps a little bit more pleased with himself this time around . truthfully , knowing his brother , the phoenix expected a bit of a fight to be put up , but he's glad clive relented fairly easily.
โ besides , there's very little you could do to make me think you terrible. โ
it's slightly teasing , & the phoenix chuckles softly , grin morphing into a gentler expression , just as always. he's never been anything less than utterly fond of his brother , after all. his palm presses flat against clive's chest , relishing in the feeling of his brother's heartbeat beneath his palm , his own matching in his chest.
the closeness between them is nothing new , but the affection blossoming in joshua's gaze is , unabashed & given freely .
There's a moment of hesitation because he wants to argue and fight Joshua on this but he also doesn't want to ruin what little peace they have with his own self loathing and need to sacrifice himself to atone for the sins he has committed.
Besides, nothing he can say will change Joshua's mind. He sees that in those eyes, that same determination he had once known once upon a time and it causes Clive to sigh in defeat.
There is so much Joshua can't protect him from but maybe he can give him this, if only for a moment. "Just as stubborn as ever, aren't you? Fine. But I don't want you going out of your way to protect me. I know you're no longer the sickly child you once were but I'd be a terrible brother if I didn't still try to protect you."
@tragidies
#taleswritten#* ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ข๐๐ฌ : joshua โบ i hold with those who favor fire .#roscest tw
126 notes
ยท
View notes
Text
im likely gonna do a revamp in the coming days, significant graphics overhaul + url change bc i found smthn i like better, plus im going to MASSIVELY pare down my muse list simply bc i have so many i dont use on here.
#* ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ : ooc โบ mothers & fuckers of the jury .#im very tired of pretending i dont like writing dark shit !! i love it !!
0 notes
Text
joshua can feel the way clive's heart flutters in his chest , & it's enough to make joshua's do the same. his grin softens at the edges , chuckling slightly as he watches his brother's expression change. he should know by now that the phoenix is deadly serious about protecting those he cares about.
& there is no one he cares for more than clive.
โ no , perhaps you don't need protecting. โ
but joshua does not care about needing or deserving with clive , he never has. but what else is the phoenix's power for , if not to protect those he cares for ??
โ but i want to protect you , this time. you may be my shield , brother , but i am not incapable of defending myself or you. โ
joshua leans away enough to level clive with a determined gaze , gentle but firm . this time , joshua is not a helpless child.
this is the one thing joshua will not allow clive to carry on his own.
"Perhaps you should get your eyes checked, brother. You are, in fact, much taller than me." Sometimes it irritates Clive, sometimes he's just fine with it. Like now when mentioning it brings a grin to Joshua and it has his heart fluttering his chest.
He wonders if Joshua can feel how his heart picks up in joy at the sight of Joshua grinning with that boyish charm he's always had.
"I...." Oh. He hadn't expected that but he probably should have. "I don't need protecting, Joshua." Nor does he deserve protection from someone he had failed. He doesn't deserve Joshua's kindness and protection.
Besides, he's the shield. "I'm capable of protecting myself. I have been for a long time." But that doesn't mean he has to, does it?
@tragidies
126 notes
ยท
View notes