toxicpositvity
gon
there'r monsters on Jupiter
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started lifting at home w a fuckin mill to grind corn bc i hate the gym lol todays my 4th day
i need to stop being this lazy just look at this shame ajahjaksah
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i need a summer love w a handsome tall dark skinned brazilian nd fuck at some pretty ass white sand clear blue water são paulo beach
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qué carajo hacia el chabon usando tumblr en pleno 2024 q risaa puedo poner los # q yo quiera
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D.
i met D some months ago, in july to be exact. he's friends w my roomate (im gonna call him like that). thanks of him we met
D was a grown man (30y), and he showed sum interest on me. ive always knew those "feelings" were: sex interest. but never let anything happen, i aint dat idiot
i wouldnt say he used to do bad things. he was a lender, only lent money. he maintained his reputation and his clients very well, was on his own business. but bc of that kind of job, he got into some problems w real bad people.
debts. he had tones of debts and all them highly expensive for my thirdworld mentality. so the solution he found to this shit was, in short terms, fakin his death
well not really
he was foreign, like me. he pretended dat he came back to his country w/o telling anyone, literally just disappeared from the life of every single person he knows here overnight.
everyone, except of roomate. they were really close
D stayed in our apartment for no more than two weeks. remember the night he arrived he just covered every single inch of window rooms has w paper nd curtains, mf thought he was ana frank
besides my roomate i dont have friends here, so i spend most of my free time at home... homing
me and D spend all that week he stayed here together. literally i used to came back from work and he was just appearin from nowhere like "i made dinner for both, u must be tired" w a plate full of his home country food, or leaving all the house cleaned like he really wanted to be an oppressed woman iM joKIN
he didnt have phone. he was so paranoid dat he literally threw it at the fuckin wall after all that shit he lived that night he moved w us. he had a Tv and really friki-cool stuff like old collectible motorcycle toys, a projector, weird watches. we both used to have dinner on his room while watching the worst channel existed, just talkin. once we fell asleep together
it was sunday nd i was at work when roomate texted. still remembering the tears on D's reddish eyes when i came back home that day and he told me lookin at my face that he (now) literally need leave the country
D ate the burger that roommate bought for him in completely silence, w his mouth full of fries and the ocean dropping down his cheeks. sited between me and him
i saw the fear and the sadness on his eyes the last time we spoke. felt his body shakin under my arms as he whispered to my ear "i got out of this before, i can do it twice. please take care of yourself, i promise i'll contact you again some day."
he gave me his three tiny plants that night, and told me i can't let them die.
next mornin i woke up and went straight to his room. there was his bed, his stuff, his smell; but of course, not him. the sky was black in that moment bc of the clouds, around 10am or sum, and it rained all day.
a part of me —while watching the flowerpots in front of the window, hearing the fat drops of rain hittin the glass— i thought the sky was crying
crying for me, crying 'cause of him. i don't really know. i hadn't the urge to cry, just remember ive felted really emotional that day
D told me he will came back to his home country, but roommate spilled some lies D told. and he didn't
last thing i knew about him was thanks to roommate. D called asking for a bit of money, told him he was on colombia (like 14hours away), on his way to panamá
that was around a month ago. roommate hasn't talked with him again, neither i.
i cant say i miss him. but i still keeping his plants, and (w/o gettin despaired neither dedicatin my whole life abt it) i will wait for a text
pic of the next day he left
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wanna start journaling somewhere so ill use dis
iván, still 19yo
today the government just started a civil war against mafia lol im argentinian and moved to ecuador last year, chasin my dreams b independent etc
literally some dudes broke onto a news channel on live today, they flexed fuckin explosives as one of them started kickin the tv employees
in others cities gangs did the same but in collages nd schools, tried kidnapping students; dudes walkin on streets w bazookas on their shoulders, massive robberies at markets Shit's going crazy imma at the purge
now we're on curfew. im unemployed rn and i live sellin stuff but how am i supposed to make money if i cant go outside? ive like $5
year aint going as what i thought
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