totallytatum - Tumblr blog

totallytatum · 1 day

Text

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ F*CK THE LIST

✧.* CHAPTER 1 || Fuck How it Started

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A continued tale after Gojo Satoru's blackmailing seemed to have much more to it than meets the eye.

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ prequel, backstory, suggestiveness, language, mentions of alcohol, implications of dark themes, etc.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4.8k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——DRUNK, DAZED, AND STUPID, was Gojo’s first impression of you. While you may not remember it in the slightest, his first time laying eyes on you was at a party during both of your freshman years of college.

You were with a group of friends— friends you no longer have today but, a big group of them nonetheless. The party was jumping with music and people were dancing all packed together like sardines. Above the loud music, there was a particular sound of laughter that made Gojo’s ears twitch.

Looking back on it, he doesn’t remember too much who he was with at the time but he does remember the very second his eyes met the source of such giggles. Everything was noisy and dizzying, vibrant and almost burry, and then… and then there was you.

It’s a bit cliche but, Gojo did pause his dancing when he found that you were the source of the single laugh that caught his ears outside of people talking and music baring. Again, you likely don’t remember it in the slightest but— your eyes met him and his eyes met yours moments after he’d turned to you.

There were maybe two or three people dancing in between you and him but he was tall and everything about you seemed to lull him in. You had the prettiest smile on your face and although your eyes were locked onto his, it was clear your attention was on your friends surrounding you.

Six seconds. For six seconds exactly did you and Gojo hold eye contact with one another in the middle of some random party.

Nothing eventful happened between you and him that night.

You hadn’t attracted him or anything. Honestly, the only thing Gojo felt spark within his chest was pure and profound curiosity. Call him a moth and you the flame with the way you turned your head back toward your friends had him wanting to reach out to you. It was like his heart took a step forward before his brain or body— curiosity blooming at the most purest level.

Captivating, you were. And that’s at the very least of words that could be used to describe you. But, perhaps it was the few drinks he had in his system that night because Gojo only had that one little moment before his mind was drifting to other things.

—

Nameless, you remained nothing more than a distant light in the back of Gojo’s busy mind. After partying, he didn’t see you again.

Not later that night outside the venue, not anywhere in that crowd, absolutely nowhere. It was like you vanished. Not that he was going to try and approach you anyway… he had his eyes on other women at the time. Simply put, you were nothing more than a pretty face to him.

Maybe you’d blended in with the crowd that night because even when Gojo tries to recall that day now, all he can remember is the six seconds his eyes lingered on yours and how for six seconds it was like he saw a world in which everything made sense— all in the beautiful hazy gaze of some random drunk chick.

Which is, again, why you were titled as nothing more than a pretty face… at first.

Maybe a week or so later, he saw you again. This time around he’d walked past you on campus. Gojo didn’t even know you went to his damn school. After all, it’s not like that party he was at was anywhere nearby. It was damn there outside the city and yet, here you were walking right past him at his university.

He did a double take to confirm that you were, in fact, the woman he’d seen at that party a week ago. Gojo doesn’t think he’s always the best at remembering faces, especially when he’s drunk but, he’ll never forget that smile of yours. Considering how you were talking with a friend as you walked, there it was yet again, a pretty smile plastered across your face.

He batted his lashes a few times to see if you’d vanish again but this time you didn’t. Instead, you just got further and further away from him since you both were heading in opposite directions. Then, just as he shook his head and turned away, he missed the way your eyes glanced back in his direction— wondering why the hell he was staring at you.

To you, he was just another guy on campus just as you were just another pretty face. Neither of you had any reasons to ever cross paths. In your mind, that moment was the first time you ever saw Gojo.

And it’s bizarre too. The way he saw you at a party, has this fuzzy image of you imprinted in his brain despite labeling you as just another pretty girl, to the way you walked past him wondering if there was something on your face with how hard he’d been looking at you.

At the time, you didn’t even get a clear look at his face so all you saw was white hair and blue eyes, nothing more. So while Gojo knew of your beauty, you only knew of his hair and eye color.

For no reason should your life have been entangled in his and the same vice versa. You had your friends, Gojo had his. The most you knew of one another was that you went to the same university.

As such, fewer times did Gojo see you after that. During that first year, he may have spotted you once every month, and even then, he was always walking past you, or you were walking past him. Just some girl on campus— that’s all you were, nothing more.

Same thing applied the following two semesters. After that summer when he returned to campus, he spotted you on the first day. This time you were walking into one of the buildings, presumably on your way to class.

He didn’t know if you were living on campus or not, or what your major was, or why you’re the first girl he mentally acknowledged on that first day back in school, or even what your name was but— he knew it was you. That signature smile of yours wasn’t present but he was able to recognize you by your face by this point.

Although, you hadn’t reached his level of interest yet. You were still just some pretty face. And yeah, maybe he didn’t mind spotting said face on campus every now and then but that didn’t mean he was searching for you or had any desire to know who you are.

You were like a work of art in some museum for him to admire from afar. Never to be touched or spoken about, simply to be gazed upon and feel grateful to have seen.

The rest of that year went by almost the same as the one prior, still no connection or anything between you and Gojo. You and him remained strangers.

Up until that fated third year of college. Ah, looking back on it now, Gojo sometimes wonders if the entire thing was scripted or something. Because that set of two semesters went intriguingly different than the two prior.

For starters, you had finally started to do more than bring surges of curiosity to Gojo. It had nothing to do with you changing any sort of your appearance or bumping into you at any point in time but instead, it was because, within those two semesters, you met Shoko.

Now, Gojo doesn’t meet you officially until a year later but, that doesn’t mean you and Shoko meeting wasn’t a crucial point to how events played out going forward.

Right before you met Shoko, and this may be just a coincidence, Gojo had started to get himself together. His first two years of university were spent worrying about women and parties for the most part. But it was during his third year that he decided to structure himself a bit more.

Amid such structuring, the next time he saw you, he’d learned your name moments after. How? Because he saw you walking beside Shoko one day, smiling and giggling at whatever she was saying to you. It was similar to the party that he first saw you with the way his heart did that thing again— like a pull of gravity, yearning toward you to ground him somehow.

He didn’t know why, and maybe it was that laugh of yours, but either way— for the first time, Gojo wasn’t just curious, he was interested. But he didn’t quite understand his level of interest.

Before you or Shoko got close to him, he watched you give Shoko a hug and then wave bye to her before heading in a different direction. After this, Shoko approached Gojo and playfully punched him on the arm to catch his attention.

Looking down at her with an immediate pout, “The hell was that for?” Gojo whined.

Shoko was chuckling, raking a hand through her hair before shrugging, “Acted on an intrusive thought, sorry not sorry.”

“I think you just like hurting me..” Gojo huffed before turning away and seeing as Shoko takes his side to accompany him.

“Sometimes, yeah-“

“Who was that girl you were with just now?” Ah, Gojo Satoru’s first direct question about you. From here on out it was basically a rollercoaster.

Shoko scoffed a little at his question but she never really thought much of it, giving Gojo your name, telling him how the two of you had a class together, and a bit of backstory on your friendship with her, “She’s such a cutie too, I think you’d like her.”

A sound of a snort was heard, “Like her? I was just curious,” Gojo shrugged off her comment entirely.

“I meant like her as… a friend? Don’t get ahead of yourself now, she has a boyfriend,” When Shoko told him that he tried to ignore how weird he felt obtaining that information but, it may have done a little something to his ego.

And he’s not even sure why either. Of course you have a boyfriend, why wouldn’t you? Why’d he expect you to be single? Is it because he’s single? Was he self-projecting somehow…?

He had to shake his thoughts away seconds later because it was almost starting to consume him. He’d never even spoken to you before and yet his brain was already popping out questions like there was no tomorrow.

An understanding smile slipped onto Gojo’s face, “Right. Sorry, I just thought you were trying to say I should go out with her or somethin’.”

Shoko rolled her eyes at him, “Satoru, just because most women grovel for you, doesn’t mean I’m gonna encourage them to do so— especially not her. “

At that moment, Gojo couldn’t imagine his follow-up question would one day be answered in so many more ways than one, “What’s so special about her?”

“I like having her around thus far and based on the last ten friends I’ve brought to meet you,” Shoko took a little pause before laughing to herself, “You always end up fucking them or they end up having some big one-sided crush-“

“Hey hey, I’ve been working on myself, alright?” Gojo cut off, trying to show his shorter brown-haired friend that he’s not the same as he may have been a few months ago, “I’m not like that anymore.”

Shoko started nodding, “Ohhhh, so you’re ready to settle down with someone, huh?”

Gojo choked out a cough and masked it with a laugh, “I-I didn’t say that but, y’know… having a girlfriend would be nice. M’tired of just being seen as some fuck boy…”

“Then stop being a fuck boy-“

“I’m not! They approach me most times, not the other way around,” Gojo huffed before rolling his eyes. It seems his reputation had really taken place, “I just… happen to be good at acting like I know what I’m doing. And I’ve learned enough through trial and error. P-Plus I haven’t been with as many women as you think-“

“What about men then?” Shoko teased, turning to Gojo with a big shit-eating grin on her face, “Hmmm? Maybe Suguru-“

Gojo moved a hand to her forehead and started to push her away, “Go to class.”

She giggles, “I’m joking!” Shoko said, smacking his hand off of her, “But hey, if she wasn’t in a relationship and you’re serious about getting yourself together, then maybe I’d help the two of you.”

The image of your face popped right back into Gojo’s head and he swears he can hear your laugh all over again. Blurting out his thoughts, “Y’think we’d be a good couple?” Gojo hummed casually, eyes going wide seconds later at his own thoughts, “Hypothetically, of course.”

“Mmmmh… yeah, actually,” Shoko nodded, “She’s the kinda woman that leaves men fixed when she’s done with ‘em.”

Gojo’s lashes bat as his curiosity only surges, “What does that mean?”

Shoko snorts, her voice sounding like she was in awe, “Like, she’ll get with a shitty guy but by the time their relationship ends, he’s tolerable and maybe even likable.”

“So she fixes men?”

“I mean, based on what she told me about her last four exes, I don’t think she realizes it but, yes,” Why would this information be of any importance to Gojo? He’s not too sure himself at the time but no one could’ve known that such an observation on you would come back around later.

“Hm,” Gojo hummed in response, “...And you’ve only been friends with this chick for how long again?”

Shoko lit up at the opportunity to boast about how the two of you met, “Ouuu, funny story! So, this past summer I actually met her at this party. We hung out for no longer than five minutes but when the semester started and I walked into class and saw her… We were basically besties already.”

“Cute,” Gojo commented simply. It was another thing he told himself he wouldn’t pay much attention to.

And as such, their conversation about you basically ended there.

—

While that was enough of talking about you, it was merely the begging of Gojo’s thoughts on you. The first trickle of rain before a storm, the initial rumble in the sky prior to overwhelming thunder, the warning wave before a tsunami— call it what you wish, this was only the beginning.

It had to be a coincidence how often Gojo began to see you around campus after that. After two years of only seeing you like once a month, of course it’s weird that he spots you on campus at least three times a week now. And it’s even weirder how he spots you, something a bit more different in comparison to merely seeing you.

Before it was like your face would just pop out amid a crowd and he’d take that as his monthly sighting of you but then it became more so of Gojo almost searching for you as he wandered through campus.

It was like how once someone develops a crush on someone they start to see them literally everywhere despite only seeing them a few times before developing feelings. Except, Gojo didn’t have a crush on you, he was just interested in you.

So interested that he eventually started writing things down about you in this journal he kept. Now, he’d had this little journal since he was in high school. Stories about him, Shoko, and Geto are all written down in this personal little journal of his. It’s his item of comfort whenever the thoughts in his head become too much.

And in regards to you, the thought of you had gotten to that point. The first few entries were rather innocent— notes of the first time he saw you, his thoughts of you during that time to notes of what Shoko told him about you. This wasn’t an unusual entry into his journal either, he had stuff about other people in there too just so he didn’t forget some things.

Even for his past relationships, he still had poorly scribbled out notes on things his partners had told him so that he could keep up with it. The entire thing was really innocent, just notes Gojo liked to keep on events and people for fun. Journaling was almost a hobby for him. It wasn’t like he was writing full-page stories on his life, he’d just go through a day and come home and find comfort in summarizing his day a bit, especially if something eventful happened.

Said journal was separated by chapters, almost like a little book that he could go back through and read if he wanted to, each chapter was characterized by person or specific era of his life. He had a very lengthy section about Geto, which makes perfect sense since that’s his best friend. Then there were sections for different school years and some other important things in his life.

Either way, he kept everything in this journal. And the moment your name was written into it, he should’ve known things would be different after that. Because then you became someone he was thinking about more than he cared to admit. Gojo had curated this entire personality and idea of you in his head simply based on whenever he saw you or whenever Shoko talked about you.

Until eventually, Gojo realized he had a bit of a crush on you. Now, it may sound a bit bizarre for him to develop such an infatuation with someone he’d never formally spoken to but, what can he say? The heart wanted what the heart wanted and his brain sure as hell had no will to protest against such feelings.

The first time Gojo mentions you to Geto, it was after he’d seen you walking toward the dining hall with some friend of yours. Call Gojo crazy but he’d even started to notice how your friend group got significantly smaller in comparison to the first time he ever saw you.

That aside, “There’s this girl,” Was the first thing Gojo told his best friend, and roommate, “She’s like… really… intriguing,” He managed out slowly. He could never put the right words to what it was about you but he tried his best.

“Intriguing? Did you talk to her?” Geto was quick to quiz his white-haired bestie on the mention of a woman. Before you, the most Gojo would tell him about the women he encountered was how he ‘fucked them stupid’ or how he had to ‘reject another one’.

Geto hadn’t heard Gojo bring up a woman in this manner since highschool so he knew from then that you were different. “Uh, not exactly,” Gojo replied to his friend, “I mean, I’ve talked about her.”

“To who?” Geto quizzed. Again, this was his first time hearing of such a woman so who did Gojo talk to you about? “This is my first time hearing about her…” He moved to scratch the back of his neck slightly, voice a bit low in a hum as it was apparent he preferred to know things before anyone else.

“Shoko,” Gojo says, and Geto’s face lights back up again as if he never had anything to worry about, “She’s one of her friends.”

Geto lets out a sigh and nods, “Ohhh, I see. Okay, so…” His eyes narrow on his friend before he tilts his head, “What’s so intriguing about her?”

“She has a really pretty laugh,” The words leave Gojo immediately, every time he’s heard the sound he swore he was being sent into another field of feelings. Your laugh made him happy and he’d never experienced that before. It was new and he liked it.

“She has a really-,” Geto cut himself off with a chuckle, “Satoru, you’re interested in a woman because of her laugh?”

Gojo nodded like it was no big deal, “Yeah?”

His best friend shrugs it off at first before pausing, recalling something similarly odd that Gojo’s told him before, “Wait, is this that same girl you talked about a few years back?” Geto asked.

“Huh?”

Running a hand through his raven locks of hair, Geto blinked at his friend’s confusion, “The one you said whose laugh you heard over music that one time.”

Damn, Gojo didn’t even remember telling him that— he must’ve been drunk out of his mind after that party…

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Gojo starts smiling a little as he recalls the moment, “Yes she is.”

Geto stares, “She goes here?”

“No shit.”

“So, what,” He scoffs, “You like her or something?”

And here was where the denial began. Right when Gojo sheepishly looks off to the side and shakes his head, “No.”

Geto leans a bit closer to his friend, searching for answers through a skeptical look, “Thennn why’re you telling me about her-”

“I don’t know man,” Gojo blurts out, “She’s just in my head.”

“You like her,” Geto says flatly.

Gojo couldn’t understand such a thing at first, “I can’t like someone I’ve never spoken to before.”

“You can,” His friend argues, “Just go talk to her if that’s the case.”

“I can’t.”

“And why not?”

The recollection of the following fact had Gojo frowning a little, “She has a boyfriend.”

Geto chuckles and his voice gets playful, “So? Who c-“

“Suguru,” Gojo grumbled, sending his bestie a look of disapproval.

“I’m joking, I’m joking…” He sighed, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t be friends with her.”

Gojo rolled his eyes, “I’d have ulterior motives.”

“She doesn’t have to know about those motives, it’s called playing the long game.”

“Yeah no, I’m not gonna go get involved with a woman I like and can never have,” Gojo said, seeming to stand firm on such a statement, “What do I look like to you?”

“Hey, ‘never’ is a bit of a stretch,” Geto points out, “How long have she and her boyfriend been dating? Do you know?”

“Uh, I think Shoko said a few months.”

Geto deadpans, “And you think they’ll stay together forever?”

Gojo shrugged, “Well, no but-”

“So go be friends with her and wait,” Wonderful advice was given at that moment but, no one knew how things would play out later on.

It was at that very moment that Gojo should’ve listened to his best friend. Maybe things would’ve been entirely different now. But alas, Gojo refused to do that. He couldn’t imagine himself going as far as getting to know you and only developing his feelings for you further just to wait for you to break up with your boyfriend.

Why would he ever do such a thing? Call him selfish for it, he didn’t care, if he was going to talk to you, he was going to do so with the intention of making you his girlfriend.

Although now, it’s humorous, really. The way Gojo told himself he’d never get involved with you if he knew he couldn’t have you in the end— how hilarious considering the way things work out further down along the timeline…

But during that time, Gojo never thought to think that far ahead. He didn’t think you’d ever break up with your boyfriend, he assumed he’d move on and crush on some other woman, and he didn’t expect for his heart to drive him to lengths that may not be considered morally correct…

Maybe he should’ve never asked Shoko about you. Or maybe he should’ve silenced the blooming thoughts in his head about you. How did you go from just a pretty face to the only pretty face he could think about?

It was like after talking to Shoko and Geto about you, you were everywhere. On campus, off campus, it didn’t matter— Gojo would spot you so often that he wondered if you had something to do with all the coincidental appearances. But, seeing as you hardly noticed he was in the same area as you, that couldn’t have been the case.

Perhaps it was fate. Fate that willed the two of you to be in the same area nearly every other day. The only place Gojo started to see you less at was parties. To which he found odd, you used to go to them all the time…

It’s thoughts and realizations like that as to why Gojo starts to go down this semi-dark path. It was like you plagued his mind, even in class all he could think about was the next time he was going to see you. When he’d get home, the first thing he started writing in his journal was entries about you— things you wore that day, whether or not you were smiling, how he wished he could talk to you and see how easy or difficult it is to make you laugh.

God, thinking about you was torture. Gojo couldn’t understand it one bit. Sure, you were 100% his type and he’d always found you attractive but it should’ve stopped there. Yet with Shoko telling him how kind you are, how you took over on most projects they had together, how great of a person you were, his situation wasn’t getting any better.

Imagine liking someone just based on their appearance and laugh only to later find out that they’re an amazing person on top of that. That’s what it was like for Gojo. It wasn’t enough that you were physically stunning in his eyes, of course you turned out to have such a pure heart.

A heart in which he never wanted to corrupt. And as if fate was watching over his life— it was only pitiful how his wishes fired back on him. Instead of you with the corrupted heart, it became himself. Gojo spent the school year falling and falling for you while never speaking a single word to you.

By the end of the second semester, he thought he was going crazy. And hell, maybe he was…

Because the upcoming summer was his punishment for his craziness. Though, it wasn’t fate this time. Instead, punishment came in the form of a person-, a monster, really. Showing up and discovering shit when least expected, curating such elaborate schemes that no regular being would.

And for what exactly? Gojo never finds out. But you, with you being the focal point of this entire plotline, you soon learn how unaware you’ve been of things and people throughout college. How many guys were interested in you, watched you, knew you before you knew them. Hell, Gojo is the first and most prime example.

After all, despite shit hitting the fan during the summer for him, you’d only met Gojo at the start of your senior year of college. And the list took place a while after that. But as for all that took place before the list…

You were completely clueless.

mlist || next chpt

tags 1/4; @lavnederr @stopmila @chelsea14 @hillmiaxoxo @choso-enthusiast

@chososdisciple @suguruologist @mitzkooni @annananamin @jakeywon

@thvema @uranometrias @gigiipeaches @isawrd @bored--boring

@soonyoung-park @oidloid @you-make-skz-stay @haesify @paintedcans

@deljojeisbackagain @heeheeswifey @s-kateboardcat @kaalyomi @rilxigh

@win2xsgf @diana4l @angelsleepinggurl @aselvaticotaku @livvyluvsyouu

@tadabzzzbee @buglikeangell @sukunadckrider @todod0kii @mua-for-now

@dazaiswaifuartisan @bee3l0v3r @blkpotionss @cranberrycosmos @cawwotta

@chosomi @gentle-roxyboo @teonawrites @interludered @wannabeotaku

@earthytreeswithc @tapinz @attackonjacksons @hovogliadisogni @hoebuns

469 notes · View notes

totallytatum · 1 day

Text

here's some heart dividers, also my first post!

Credit is always appreciated by tagging me 🖤 I'll slowly be posting more as I go, requests are not open for now.

88 notes · View notes

totallytatum · 2 days

Photo

19K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 2 days

Text

1K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 2 days

Text

HEARTS + STARS | pattern 01.

──────── ⵌ NEUTRALS ...

──────── ⵌ RAINBOW ...

thinner lines because I’m experimenting ! I kinda dig it; I might change the rest of my line dividers to thinner lines. anyway, more post dividers and other patterns coming soon. :3

patterns : 001 / 002 / 003 / 004 / 005

feel free to use; please like, reblog, and credit〜

support me through ko-fi | more dividers →

3K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 2 days

Text

— zodiac dividers

[Free] Masterlist Headers & Dividers!

Please consider liking or reblogging if you use 💕

931 notes · View notes

totallytatum · 6 days

Note

Sluts go to hell

I would literally ride demon cock at a moment's notice

23K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 11 days

Text

moon and stars | j.m.

*:·ﾟ✧ back to masterlist

pairing *:·ﾟ afab!reader x boston!qzjoel miller wc *:·ﾟ1.6k warnings *:·ﾟ mention of being catcalled, reader being cornered by a group of men, joel saving the day the only way he knows how (with his fists), mentions of stitching, openish wounds, blood, and alcohol, slightly insecure!joel/soft!joel worried about being too much, just some pretty pure fluff, methinks :) an *:·ﾟthis is heavily inspired by this post, because i saw it earlier today and couldn’t get this idea with joel out of my mind! nothing crazy, just a little ficlet with some tender joel. hope y’all enjoy!

synopsis *:·ﾟ joel rears his big, brown puppy dog eyes at you while you’re stitching him back together. a promise is made.

“Stop lookin’ at me like that,” the words are muttered, accompanied by the sharp snip of your scissors and the slight rumble of thunder in the distance.

The hand on the back of your thigh squeezes you gently. “Like what?”

There’s something playful in his voice, in his usually rough and rich voice. It’s not the typical tone that someone who just got into a fight with three other men would usually have. But then again, Joel Miller wasn’t really the typical type of man.

Your eyes narrowed at the man sitting on the bathtub ledge before you, taking in the bloody mess he was. He had a gnarly gash on the top of his head, one that had required you to dust off your stitching skills. His nose looked like it had been broken (again) and there was an array of blood and dirt littering his face like a dark constellation of stars.

You weren’t even sure if half the blood on him was his own.

The alcohol bottle made a gulping noise as you tipped it onto your towel, the glass clinking as you set it back on the bathroom counter before returning between Joel’s spread legs. His hands, which were also bloody from split knuckles, cupped the back of your thighs. His thumbs worked softly against the outer seam of your jeans, though his fingers dug into your thighs as you gently pressed the towel against the cut between his eyes.

“I don’t know,” you replied, gaze narrowed in on the bridge of his nose as you cleaned the area. You couldn’t miss his big brown eyes watching you, though; the one hanging light in the bathroom reflected in the darkness of his irises as he stared up at you in… “Awe. You’re lookin’ at me like you’re in awe of me or something.”

A chuckle passed through his lips before his eyes winced a little, the laughter no doubt causing the split on his lip to widen. This man had been beaten to hell and back, and all of it had been for you. As cheap as it was to say it, though… you should’ve seen the other guys.

Earlier this evening, you had been walking through the lower end of the QZ with one of your friends, watching as the local kids took turns running through a broken fire hydrant that was spewing water everywhere. When you left, taking back alleys and walking on broken sidewalks, you had been cornered by a group of men who seemed to have been drunk.

A catcall here, a few misplaced hands there, and one swift tug of your bag was all it took before the biggest of the men had been pulled out of the group, exclaiming loudly as a fist connected with his cheek.

You hadn’t even realized Joel had been around, though you should’ve known better; he had a tendency to lurk around the apartment building when you stayed out later in the night. You had a clear view of the front door to the building from where you were cornered, so you could imagine that Joel had witnessed, well, everything.

The fight had ended quicker than you expected, if you were honest. Joel had a lot of pent up anger that he was always happy to expel with the help of his fists, and even though it wasn’t a fair fight, he held his own. He was bleeding and bruised, sure. But he scared the hell out of the other men enough for them to stumble away from the sidewalk without sparing another glance at you.

“Well, maybe I am. Whatcha goin’ to do about it?” There he was again, with that teasing tone. As if you weren’t wiping off blood from his face after stitching his forehead back together.

Your eyes rolled. “Someone’s feeling charming tonight, huh?”

You tossed the alcohol-soaked rag onto the counter behind you, reaching for the clean one you had placed on the toilet lid right next to all the other supplies from the first aid kit. Joel reached behind him, helping you run the faucet in the bathtub long enough to get the towel wet, his hand resuming that spot on the back of your thigh after shutting it off.

Gently swiping at his skin, the once pristine (well… mostly pristine) white towel soon became a mix of red and brown as you cleaned off his face. In this position, you were barely taller than Joel, but that still meant he had to lift his eyes upwards to look at you. He looked like a damn puppy, gazing up at you as if you were about to give him his favorite treat.

As if you had hung the sun and the moon and all the stars in the sky yourself, but just for him.

“‘m always charming, baby.” He winked one of those big eyes at you, causing your face to heat up as you brushed his hair back to clean off the top of his forehead. “That’s why I have you cleanin’ me up right now after I defended your honor.”

“My honor?” You couldn’t help but snort, pulling the now dirty towel away from his skin to fully face him. “Joel Miller, you are ridiculous.”

You moved to step away, to go grab another towel to help with the cut on his bottom lip, but his grip on your thighs tightened and he hauled you into him. The squeal that left your mouth would’ve made you embarrassed if it hadn’t made Joel laugh out loud, his chest rumbling against yours as he held you tight to him.

“Yeah, I might be. But you still love me anyway, don’t you?”

And there it was.

That slight desperation in his voice that had you realizing why he was acting so playful. That neediness in his tone, the one seeking out the affirmation that yes, you still loved Joel, despite his darker tendencies. That you still cared for him, still wanted him to care for you in the only way he knew how sometimes. That he hadn’t turned you away by his actions tonight, even if he was just trying to protect you.

He knew in his mind that he may have gone a little too far with some of the men surrounding you, but when he saw you pressed up against the brickside of the building, clutching your bag on your shoulders and trying to evade the dirty hands of the men trying to take advantage of you, something in him just snapped. He had no excuse other than pure hatred for the men trying to touch, trying to claim you.

As if you weren’t his and his alone.

Joel didn’t often lose control like that in front of you though, and he hadn’t missed the way you watched the event with eyes blown wide, the way you had flinched each time his fists landed on someone else, or when someone else’s fists connected with his body. It was only when you were helping him into the apartment, his arm slung over your shoulder, that he felt worried that he might’ve scared you away.

And you recognized that now, with his question. With the way his eyes were big, unwavering on your face as he looked for any sign of you backing out. Of you leaving him.

Your hands rested on either side of his face, gently brushing back his hair and being mindful of the fresh stitches taking up space on the right side. “Joel, there is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop loving you.”

Your words were firm, giving Joel no room to look for any hidden meanings or hesitant feelings. His eyelids fluttered for a brief second, and you could see the relief that flooded his body afterwards; his shoulders dropped down half an inch as his posture went from rigid to relaxed. His chest expanded as he took in a big breath of air, letting it pass through his nose with a quick nod of his head.

“Promise me?” His hand found its way to the base of your neck, tilting your head ever so slightly so that your forehead rested against his. You inched it to the side, avoiding the cut, and nodded your head.

“I swear.”

Even though it had to have hurt him, he pressed his mouth against yours, capturing your bottom lip in between his in a deep, desperate kiss. The taste of blood lingered on your lips afterward, but you could tell that he needed this. That he needed some proof that he wasn’t as unlovable as he felt, that he wasn’t undeserving of love, your love, specifically.

And you were more than happy to provide that proof, for however long he needed it.

825 notes · View notes

totallytatum · 13 days

Text

13K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 14 days

Text

[ SMAU ] 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 ! ( eighth installment ) in which you are forced to plan a corporate event with your office enemy .

୨୧˚ part; one. two. three. four. five. six. seven. eight.

୨୧˚ incl; kento nanami

୨୧˚ cw; profanity , crack , reader is a ball of anxiety

୨୧˚ an; bar trip next chapter…🤔

likes and reblogs are appreciated !

tags . • @justbelljust @amnmich @ti-mame @silkija @maddietries @vyntagei @ebrysteria @aesukuni @lololooolleonnaaa @nanamiswife22 @r0ckst4rjk @mizzfizz @saiki-enthusiast @taelattecookie @enchantingkitty @kindadolly @reinam00n @hqtoge @syamamas @numblytemporary @xxravenxstarxx-blog @bloomedintome @guacam011y @jameinfrau @luvvmae @kazisupreme @nowhoremones @https-tank @venjrnjrbhrr19 @ya9amicide @darkstarlight82 @archivefortoji @alczam02 @kaiparkerwifes @kenz1eluvs @iaminyourfloors @queeen-goldfish @beautifulloverwitch @nxuriah @invisible-mori @hexrts-anatomy @katharinasdiaryy

840 notes · View notes

totallytatum · 14 days

Text

These days I have been working on other drawings and finishing the ones I had pending, this is one of them, which joins the collection I already have 🤣

12K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 14 days

Note

It is CANON Nanami is 26. It’s NOT possible for him to be yujis dad.

personally, and everyone can be upset and disagree, no hate. But it’s tumblr. It’s fake. It’s just for enjoyment, these aren’t for canon moments. This is whatever I or anyone else chooses it to be. Never stated was Ken yuji’s dad, they’re just cute little comments due to how I like to make their relationship/friendship from reading other creators fics, etc. it’s just how I impersonate it, if it’s not enjoyable to you or bothers you, please block or move on. 💞

1 note · View note

totallytatum · 14 days

Text

biker choso

5K notes · View notes

totallytatum · 15 days

Text

reborn

1.4k / pairing: jackson!joel miller x f!reader

main masterlist | notifications blog

summary: Joel’s long hair is a testament to a long life in Jackson, Wyoming. He hasn’t had time to get it cut since the birth of his daughter.

warnings/information: joel’s long hair appreciation post!!!!!, fluff, established relationship, a little swearing, soft!joel, girl dad!joel, jackson!joel, mother f!reader, ellie and joel are just fine okay!!, obvious maria appreciation, reader doesn’t have a physical appearance but has given birth

A/N: this is super short and I wrote it in 24 hours - you all know why we’re here, we saw that new picture of long haired joel miller and yadayadayada now we’re here! graphics by @saradika-graphics

There’s a new baby in Jackson.

One more teeny tiny resident. The population sign must be repainted to acknowledge its three hundred and fifth resident.

And she’s your little girl.

She’s not just perfect, she’s the center of your universe. Wrapped in a freshly hand-washed baby pink blanket, a testament to the hours of labor in Jackson’s makeshift delivery room. Joel held your hand throughout.

This was his second child, but his first with you. The flood of emotions was overwhelming, and you promised to stand by him, even if you could never truly understand the pain tangled with newfound joy.

But you should have seen the way his eyes softened at the first sight of her. Everything changed, for the both of you. His once-buried fatherly instincts took over, walking with the delivery nurse from your bed to the small cleaning station. He couldn’t let her out of his sight.

Already so protective and wound around her little finger from the moment she took her first breath and wailed her first cry.

Scream it, little one, tell the world you’re here and that you’re ours. You are already so loved with your big glowing eyes and round cheeks, your small hands curled into your chest, and you kick your tiny little feet. Stomp, roar, live.

You’re born into the most dangerous time in history, but your parents are here to protect you. The moment your baby girl was born, you and Joel were reborn.

One month old, and nothing has changed. Except for your and Joel’s sleep schedules. Tommy gave Joel temporary leave from patrol duties, which Joel did not protest. He found it impossible some days to leave the house for food and supplies.

Ellie was helpful. Despite no blood relation, she and Joel shared many qualities. She didn’t let you lift a finger if she could help it. She had moved into the garage a few months back. After all, she was a teenager who loved having space.

“You sure you don’t just wanna move back inside the house, Ellie?” She was here more often than not, and her company and help were dearly appreciated.

“And wake up to a crying baby twelve times in the middle of the night? I love you guys, but no thanks,” she teased as you playfully rolled your eyes.

“That’s fair. But the offer still stands.”

Ellie shrugs nonchalantly and lands beside you on the couch, laying her head on your shoulder as you both stare lovingly down at the baby sleeping soundly in your arms.

“I know, but you should make my old room the baby’s new one. Besides, Joel just set up my stereo, and I blast that thing non-stop. No baby is gonna like that.”

“Oh, trust me, we know.” You whisper as you kiss the top of her head, your cheek nudging against her brunette tresses tied back into a ponytail.

Ellie cooks some sort of monstrosity in the kitchen upon Joel’s return from Tommy and Maria’s. He holds piles of Maria’s hand-sewn diapers and onesies. She was a God send, a woman you consider a Jill of all trades.

Oh, Maria. She always desired that Jackson would not fall into turmoil like most of the country had surely found its way to. In her eyes, Jackson would remain a thriving and welcoming community to those who were good of heart.

That woman worked to the bone to ensure that Jackson’s residents were safe and happy. Living here was like living in a snow globe, safe from the outside world and protected from danger.

As the de facto leader of the Jackson settlement, she wore many hats. From trading and supplies to security and community welfare, Maria made it her mission to ensure that all new families found their new home in Jackson to be an inviting one—a safe haven from their old lives and here to start anew.

“Maria bartered for new cotton,” Joel whispers as he enters the living room, quiet so as not to stir the baby.

“She did?” You ask softly, sitting up slightly as you feel his hand cup your cheek from above, tilting your head back so he can give you a proper kiss.

“Yeah, she was gonna try and find somethin’ alternative to cotton for the diapers, but they set her up with some scavenged materials and clothing to make lots of diapers out of. Plus, gave her some stuff to cultivate it here. Y’know, be self-sufficient.”

“Wow,” you mutter tiredly, rubbing at your eyes as your daughter begins to twitch in your arms. “I think she hears her daddy’s voice.”

Joel cooes softly, quick to drop the items off on the kitchen counter with haphazard abandon. He grunts quietly as his knees scream for rest until he sits beside you on the couch with open palms. You delicately hand him the baby, and his eyes twinkle at the sight of her. He was adorably cute when he baby-babbled, though he swears he never does.

“Hi sweet wittle girl, pretty pwincess, did you have a good day with mommy?”

It takes you this long to realize how much his hair has grown out. Your fingers softly weave into the greying curls, twirling one around your finger before you let it fall into its natural waves.

“It’s so long, baby,” you whisper like honey.

He lets out a quiet chuckle and absentmindedly leans into your touch. “I’know. Haven’t had time to get it cut,” he turns his attention back to the little girl swaddled in his arms, “and I think I know who’s been keepin’ me so damn busy.”

You hum and gently clutch the curls at the nape of his neck, truly in awe of how long they were. You’ve never seen him let it get this long. As Joel would say, this is Tommy long. But was there really a look he couldn’t pull off?

“I, uh, I don’t want you to cut it.” Your words come off shy and sweet, making him melt as he slowly turns to look at you with a raised brow.

“Is that so?” His southern twang rolls freely off his tongue.

“Mhm, you look so handsome. I think I would cry if you got rid of that thick mane of yours.”

He chuckles again, a low and sultry one. “Alright. I’ll keep puttin’ up with it.”

“Mmm, please do. It’s sorta doin’ somethin’ for me.”

Joel pauses and watches as the aging sunlight shines over your face. He takes your hand in his large calloused one and squeezes, circling his thumb along your wrist. “You’ve given me a life I sometimes don’t feel like I deserve. A happy one. I don’t think there’s a way I can ever say thank you or I love you enough for how my life has turned out. Without you, I might be dead.”

“Oh, Joel,” you whisper as you rest your forehead against his own, both of your eyes falling closed. “You are deserving of every moment of happiness in this life. You make my life worth living. You saved us.”

Joel lets out a wet chuckle, kissing the tip of your nose before meeting your lips delicately.

In this light, the amber glow of the sun setting just beyond the walls outside, he’s so handsome. It truly makes your heart skip a beat. After all these years of pain, loss, and suffering, Joel is happy. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to make him.

During the first few weeks in this new and unfamiliar settlement, Joel would shoot up in the middle of the night, upset that he had fallen asleep. He hadn’t slept in a home with four solid walls in so long, none of you had. You remember the first night he slept soundly, snoring like a madman and nuzzling into his pillow. He was safe. There were no clickers in waiting, no scavengers to fend off. His people were protected. He could breathe.

Never did you once think that at the ends of the world, there would be room for you to feel like this. Reborn. It led you to Joel and Ellie and continued with your baby girl. Your lives are getting a second chance.

You didn’t know how long it would stay like this because nothing was forever. But you would wake up tomorrow morning and run a hand through Joel’s hair, through the pretty curls that tickled his neck, and the opportunity for it to keep growing would be another sign that your lives weren’t ending. They were only just beginning.

main masterlist | notifications blog

1K notes · View notes