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torturedgnom3 · 2 days
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being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors
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torturedgnom3 · 5 days
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they need to invent a writing that is easy. and fast also
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torturedgnom3 · 5 days
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No, Mr. Horse, don’t worry, I certainly don’t have a Plinko down here! What I do have is this lovely cask of wine, specifically for horses, Amontillado in fact! Exquisite vintage.
I know you’re not supposed to be in this hospital, but if you’ll just follow me down this corridor—no, that’s not blood on the floor, it’s color theory, I’ll explain it later—I can bring you to this cask of wine that is certainly NOT a plinko machine—
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torturedgnom3 · 5 days
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lol
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torturedgnom3 · 6 days
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I'm a bit late, but anyways.
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torturedgnom3 · 7 days
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best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)
some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.
YOU WILL NEED:
5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)
preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).
in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.
set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.
spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.
slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)
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torturedgnom3 · 8 days
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i like the term "gallows humor" because it always makes me think of someone getting sentenced to death and being like "i have GOT to be the funniest person at my public execution"
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torturedgnom3 · 8 days
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Sick and delirious, listening to that Johnny Cash song about the chicken and the bank robber on loop
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torturedgnom3 · 8 days
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torturedgnom3 · 8 days
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occasional posts from users
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torturedgnom3 · 9 days
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you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard
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torturedgnom3 · 15 days
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People who think this planet was created for humans to be ours are so wild to me
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torturedgnom3 · 16 days
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Neil Banged out his tunes today, on a train you have the comfort and relaxation to bang out your own tunes
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torturedgnom3 · 20 days
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my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today
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torturedgnom3 · 21 days
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Having an argument in the server. I need to prove I am not insane for putting sliced sandwich bread/white bread/loaf whatever do u call this 🍞 in the freezer.
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torturedgnom3 · 28 days
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my cat stopping me from petting her
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torturedgnom3 · 28 days
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