why would i netflix and chill when i can ao3 and sin

“just set a timer for twenty minutes, take a nap!”

yeah but what happens if it takes me a while to get to sleep? what if i need to pee? google says 20 minutes is optimum time for a nap but i don’t think i’ll fall asleep INstantly but if i set it for 30 minutes i might fall asleep quickly and then i’ll be tired for the rest of the day there are too many variables and i am so stressed

Those days where your period makes you feel physically ill. Yep. That's where I am.

Dear You,

At this point, I don’t know who I’m writing too anymore. I guess I’m just writing to write, but I have so many things I would like to say. So yeah... 

Dear You, whoever you are,

It’s one of those nights. Caught up in my head, stuck on emotional songs, wishing I could have exactly what I claim I don’t want during the day. But the night has an odd way about her, she draws you into yourself, and sometimes, she won’t let you out until the sun comes up. 

I want it to rain tomorrow. I want the clouds, and the cold, and the uncertainty of the day to reflect the uncertainty of my mind, of my soul. I want to know I’m not alone in this. 

I get stuck. On you. On him. It doesn’t matter per se, but either way, I find myself stuck yet again. Alone, and pondering exactly where my life is going to lead me. 

Am I really that easily replaced? Am I the only one that has songs I cringe at when they begin playing? Or does that happen to you as well?

Tonight brought up all of my insecurities once again. The evening ended with dinner because I knew if I decided to smoke on an empty stomach I’d feel it way more than I wanted too. I almost walked away, but I dug them out, I lit one, placed it between my lips, and inhaled, deeply. I wanted to be one step closer to not feeling, to being outside of myself, and you know what, it didn’t work. I felt. I felt deeply, and I cringed. 

justkeeplovingtillyourebroken

Forget about him. Study hard, get money, love yourself, travel the world, be honest, make mistakes, be successful, and stay humble. The boy you like right now, he ain’t shit. You will find a man that loves you, deserves you, and recognizes your worth. Just do you for now and don’t let any dumb boy stand in your way.

Dear You,

I hope you do it. I hope you stand up for yourself just as you did with the last person who caused you to forget how absolutely incredible and strong you actually are. Don’t buy into his pretty words and his smooth talking. Be blunt, be kind, but above all, be honest. Don’t take his crap. He is manipulative and obnoxious. You’re so much better off without him, and he knows it, but he is a coward that would rather manipulate you and everyone you know into doing his bidding. He is weak. He is scared. And he is terrified of what is to come. He doesn’t know where he is headed. He thinks he does, but he talks a big game and thinks very little of himself in reality. It is the reason he is the way he is. He feels powerful when people do his bidding, he becomes the puppet master, the big man, and for someone so little, for someone so lost, that is what he feels he needs. But you’re stronger than that. You have lived through so much. You have put up with so much of his bullshit, and you’re starting to see him for who and what he is, a manipulative coward that is not worth your time. I’m sorry he has hurt you for so long. I am sorry that things appear as though they will end on a rather sad and sour note, but you now see it for what it is. Though it hurts, and it will hurt, because you have killed yourself for him for much too long, you’re able to see how much better off you’ll be when you walk away from him and give your heart a chance to heal. I’m sorry he’s hurt you. I’m sorry he’s manipulated everything these last several months, and ruined so much for you. But you’re doing it, you’re rising above it all. You’re getting out of here, and you get to leave the cowardly little man, better yet, little boy, behind. Don’t let him drag you down. He’s drowning, and the only way he’ll feel fulfilled is if he is able to take those he claims to “love” down with him. He has missed the lesson on love - sacrifice, and thinking of others before himself. He should have learned from you. I know for a fact, that is the only reason you stuck with him as long as you have, because you love him. I don’t mean want to marry him kind of love, but in the bond of friendship, of loyalty, in the way that you would rather die than betray his trust. Because, despite your claim that you don’t believe that love is something that exists, you know that you are capable of it, yet you’ve started to hold others to a lesser standard than yourself. You don’t expect that anyone would every sacrifice as much as you would for those you love... I know you would never say that, but it’s what is true. You love more selflessly than anyone I know. You claim your selfish, and yet, I’ve watched you endure things that no selfish person would put themselves through for an extensive period of time. Don’t let him get to you. Stand tall, and stand strong. You’ll be at peace. Don’t let the haters drag you down. I’m sorry that you’ve been forced to endure all of his bullshit, and I’m sorry that the deciding moment is now, right before everyone leaves. I know it will make coming home for the holidays and breaks harder, but it’s better that you get a firm footing now. It will be better to come home to a place where you didn’t leave anything to be misinterpreted. You’re strong, you have a way with words, and if he knows anything that’s good for him, he’ll come to realize just how important you should be too him. He’ll try to make amends, but it will take some time, quite a lot of time before you truly make peace with him. You’ll walk away, and your heart will hurt. You will weep, but you will know that peace is just around the corner. You’re almost there, and no one, after this, will ever be able to hold you back the way he has. You’ll have dealt with it, you’ll have put him in his place, and you’ll have been able to walk away with a clear mind and lighter heart, and that my dear, that is so important! Don’t allow your life, especially now, to be over run with regrets brought on by those who claim they are your friends. High school, college, now are the times, though difficult, that you make the memories, you learn from the mistakes, and you set yourself up for a much brighter future. You already know that. In fact, it was you that taught me that. You have all the cards in your hand, just play them right, and you’ll be all set. I know facing conflict such as this is difficult. I’ve never been one to follow through and do it, but I’m getting there. I’m learning from your example and I will be right behind you. If you ever need anything, I’m here for you my love. You mean everything to me. I’ll stand by you through thick and thin. So now, clear the air. Say what you must. Be kind, but truthful. Be yourself. Be strong. Don’t buy into his lies. End the conversation. Close your eyes, wipe the tears from your cheeks and take a deep breath. It’s over now. What’s done is done. Whatever needed to be said has been said. Whether or not he chooses to listen, that is an entirely different story. But for now you’ve done your part. Walk away. Allow your heart time to grieve through the pain which he has caused you. And finally when the time is right, make peace with it all. Come back, and face him, you will be bigger. You will be stronger. And to him, you will appear both untouchable as well as unbreakable. You will terrify the little boy who thought he could control you, who thought he could make you feel insignificant, and unimportant, who would use your loyalty against you, without even a second thought. You already are strong, and powerful, and you don’t need his lying or manipulation in your life, and the funny thing is, he realized that a long time ago. He knew you were stronger than him. He knew that you did not need him for any reason, and he was terrified by that fact. If you had walked away from him any sooner his game would have been thwarted, his facade of confidence would have been shattered, and he would have easily been identified as the coward that he is. But you’re kinder than he, you put up with so much, you did not understand what he saw. You’re bigger than he is. You’ve got your whole life before you. Your golden years were never meant to be in high school as his were, they’ve still yet to come. But my God babe, they are right around the corner. Don’t let him stand in your way. Keep on plowing ahead, because you’re almost there. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and make the leap. If anyone can do it, I know for a fact it is you. I have all the faith you. Keep your head held high, and your dreams in view, because knowing you, I know that you can accomplish anything. 

Alcohol will only make a person cheat if they’d considered doing it while sober. Being drunk changes your behavior, not your morals.

hope you guys like this one idk x

Love yourself — when it’s fucking 2 a.m and you’re not even halfway through with your essay that was due last week. when your mom is yelling at you because your grades are shit when your dad comes home late smelling like booze when your dog just died and youre the only one who took care of him when your brothers girlfriend is cheating on him and if you tell him he’ll hate you when you lost your best friend to someone you hate when you think— no you wish that today was your last day, just fucking love yourself because when every body is too busy trying to fuck up your life you’re the only person that can save you, your life isnt some fucking john green novel, no one can save you but yourself.

Anonymous (via highrapunzel)

STOP! TELLING! PEOPLE! THAT! NO! ONE! WILL! LOVE! THEM! UNTIL! THEY! LOVE! THEMSELVES! STOP! PLANTING! THE! IDEA! IN! PEOPLES! BRAINS! THAT! THEY! ARE! UNWORTHY! OF! LOVE! BECAUSE! OF! THEIR! OWN! STRUGGLE!

Your Graduation - Modern Baseball

I’m not searching for my other half because I’m not a half.

Realizing this is one of the things that made the biggest difference in my life, not just in my relationships. (via panteghast)

Thank you, for leaving. I know it’s not something you thought I would send to you. But here I am, making my last confession. Your departure taught me how to live. I never thought I could live without you. And for awhile I didn’t, I couldn’t. Life was like a black cloud, there was no happiness. You had taken it with you that night. I spent months poisoning my self with liquor. I always thought that it would bring you back to me. It didn’t. I used to be able to smell you on my clothes, your cologne was a bitter reminder of what we once were. It used to break me, I would cry every time. Now, not so much. I’m not sure, but is this moving on? I grew in love with you, I did. You shaped me into what I believed was a ‘better’ version of me. You took me to places I’ve never been. We shared secrets I’ll never want back, not ever. But as much as I’d like to hold on to you. I can’t. It’s draining and I’m tired, so tired. I hope you go on adventures, discover who you are, get drunk, make millions and yes, fall in love. I wish you happiness, that’s what you have always deserved. I’ll always love you, but for once, I’m not in love with you. Go well. I love you.

The message I wish I could send my ex, but can’t -Poemsforthebad

(via

poemsforthebad

)

This.

(via missinyouiskillingme)