toomanyskeletons
why are you still on tumblr
jimmy, he/him, 18
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I like what I like
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lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own
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some man online: “arya’s a mary sue. rey’s a mary sue. i simply don’t believe a young girl could be that skilled.”
what they expect me to say: “well, no, actually, canon supports it, because if you look back as far as season three, she’s been training for–”
what i’m actually gonna say: “good. good. about fucking time. in the next movie i hope rey blows up a dreadnought with finger lightning that she learned earlier that day. i hope she rips palpatine’s spine out with her bare hands while everybody claps”
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The two most culturally important things from the past few years are Friday by Rebecca Black because we learned we like hating things more than we like liking them and Cookie Clicker cause we figured out the only reason people play video games is to watch the numbers go up and since then we’ve just been applying those lessons to new and better incarnations of those two things.
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I love kids they’re all like.. “when i grow up i’m gonna be an astronaut and a chef and a doctor and an olympic swimmer” like that self confidence! That drive! That optimism! Where does it go
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Whenever I see people quoting/referencing/parodying My Immortal it’s always one of the same four or five lines. You know the ones.
The iconic opening paragraph, “Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair… (et cetera).”
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”
“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT… BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”
“Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.”
“And Loopin was masticating to it!”
As great as those are, I’d like to throw a spotlight on what I think are some of the underappreciated parts of this classic work of fanfiction.
Ebony puts blood on her Count Chocula cereal instead of milk.
Enoby is canonically a weeaboo and speaks to her friends in Fangirl Japanese.
Harry’s scar is now a pentagram instead of a lightning bolt, so either he found some sort of spell to alter the appearance of the scar or he actually took the time to carve a pentagram into his forehead.
There is an OC named either Tom Riddle or Tom Rid who works at a “punkgoff” store in Hogsmeade and has absolutely nothing to do with Voldemort, he just happens to have the exact same name.
Tara somehow got Fred and George mixed up with Crabbe and Goyle.
The reason Snape doesn’t like Harry in this fic is because Snape is Christian and Harry is a Satanist.
Marty McFly literally appears out of nowhere to help Enoby travel through “tim” with his “tim machine.”
Chapter 11 ends with Hagrid singing along to “a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.”
Voldemort inexplicably speaks in Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe.
Voldemort wears high heels.
Draco has a flying black Mercedes-Benz and a black MCR broom.
Snape has a Dork Mark on his penis.
Speaking of penises, Draco is apparently “hung like a stallone.” I guess Tara is a Rambo fan?
The Hedwig/Voldemort sex scene, wherein Hedwig is a male human instead of a female owl, for some reason.
Dumbledore flies around on his broomstick while holding a loaf of rye bread. At least, that’s what I think Tara meant by “Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread.”
Oh yeah, and Dumbledore is an Avril Lavigne fanboy, because of course he is.
James Potter’s “goff” nickname is Samoro, because Tara erroneously believes this to be the masculine form of the name Samara.
Draco’s singing voice is described as “a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson.”
Tara’s brief feud with her editor Raven, as chronicled in the author’s notes, may or may not have had something to do with Raven borrowing Tara’s sweater and not giving it back. IDK, it’s unclear.
Voldemort smokes a “gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar.”
McGonagall has the best insults, like “horny simpletons” and “mediocre dunces” and probably some others I’m forgetting.
Dobby only appears once in the entire fic and literally all he does is watch Snape and Lupin have sex, and then run away crying.
Sirius is referred to as Harry’s dogfather, and not gonna lie, even if it was a typo I think that is a genuinely clever pun.
The Hogwarts janitor may or may not be Chuck Norris.
Tara accurately predicted how Harry would defeat Voldemort in Deathly Hallows. No, really. “nd den hairy wil have 2 kommit suicide so voldimort will die koz he will rilly be a horcrox!!!!!111”
This line: “Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly.”
And this one: “‘Crosio!’ I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.”
“Azerbaijan”
“Hoes of Wax”
“Tom Bombodil”
“Cornelio Fuck”
“Professor Slutborn”
“Preacher McGongol”
“Lumpkin”
“TaEbory”
“The Bark Lord”
“Vadermort”
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have you ever clicked on a boomers profile before and 99.9% of the time it looks exactly like this
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so as we know a lot of us Transes have named ourselves after fictional characters (& we r all so valid thank you) BUT. if you’d come out when u were like 12, what fictional character would you have absolutely named urself after? i’ll go first mine would’ve VERY unfortunately been loki completely unironically OR even more unfortunately dean.
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please don’t have intellectual debates in my replies this account is for idiots only
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I was helping a friend out earlier but then realized I could also share a few small tips on how to shop for groceries on a budget with u guys too!
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hey, i didn’t want to derail someone else’s post but its making me deeply anxious not to say anything so I’m gonna make my own
if you are in a privileged group but also a minor? especially a mentally ill minor, and TRIPLE if there is even the most remote chance saying something could result in danger for you?
those ‘use your privilege’ post telling you to stand up to your family members (which i notice becoming increasingly frequent at this time of year) are not directed at you.
(also, significantly more hostile aside - anybody who comes on this post to clown and say that they are feel free to fuck off in literally every goddamn direction)
I know with kids like Greta Thunberg making the news, and post listing other Gen Z kids making changes, it can be easy to feel like those posts are calling you, kids, out specifically.
and don’t get me wrong, I am so, so proud of those kids. and if you can stand up to your family members, I’m proud of you, too.
But, and i mean this in gentlest way possible - this is not your job.
It isn’t. Some of you are taking it on, and thats very noble of you, but it isn’t and should not be your job. anybody who says things like “these kids are gonna save the world” makes me want to tear my hair out because kids should not be saving the world, kids should be being kids. You should be worried about taking the ACT and figuring out what kind of people/if you want to kiss, not fucking fascism.
the most stressful decision you should have to make at a family gathering is what sweater to wear, not putting your literal child self in the middle of a bigoted, hostile confrontation, and anybody - especially any adult - who tells you otherwise is not only an asshole but it is fucking irresponsible, and does not have your best interest at heart.
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I get that being frozen for 100 years is a tough thing to go through but honestly Aang should have used it for comedy more
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It’s like when European royals only married other royals
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How do you give good criticism?
In many settings – academic, professional, creative – you are asked to critique others’ work and ideas. Helpful criticism is thoughtful, honest, and supportive. This doesn’t just apply to writers!
Include something positive. If you only point out things you thought didn’t work, you can come across as having a negative attitude, and make the recipient of your criticism feel like they didn’t do anything right. Try to start or end on a positive note.
Ensure that you’re contributing something new. In a professional or classroom setting, raising your hand to comment only “I agree with ___” or to paraphrase someone else’s feedback wastes time and doesn’t contribute. It’s fine to start your comment with “I agree with that, and …” as long as you’re adding or building onto what was previously said. (You can also communicate your agreement by looking engaged while the person is talking, and using body language to show that you’re thinking along the same lines as they are.)
Work toward the creator’s goals, not yours. Don’t be prescriptive. (Especially in creative settings.) Avoid comments like, “I think this story would be better if _____.” Feedback and constructive criticism is important for writers because it shows how well their mental picture of the story translated onto the page for readers – not because they are writing to please you personally as a reader and want to know if they did a good job. This applies in academic settings, too – though the first priority might be adhering to an essay’s prompt or a journal’s submission guidelines, remember that you don’t have to agree with their thesis in order to critique their paper.
Explain your reasoning and cite the text. After receiving criticism, the next step for a writer is revision – so when you comment, make sure you can point to the spot on the page that prompted your feedback. (Taking notes beforehand on a printed-out copy of the work is always a good idea.) This lets the writer know what’s causing the impression you describe, so they can keep it in mind when they revise.
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*waits for tumblr to solve this mess so i can start selling these*
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