In conclusion, Ricchan has many faces. And they are all perfect. Every. Last. One. This amazing nonsense is from the fantastic yaoi manga Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi. Read it. I command you. It is love in manga form. It will make your soul happy.

Moonlight

Three teenagers giggled silently, their warm breaths forming wispy clouds in front of their faces. Innocence too pure to touch. One member of the trio ducked behind a mold-dusted headstone, extracting another round of warm laughter. Graveyards are playgrounds for children these days. What most of these poor souls do not realize, however, is that such places are truly haunted. They blindly consider all stories of misgivings in cemeteries myths and ghost tales meant to keep kids home at night. But all legends have a base in truth. When the one teen that had dived behind the grave didn’t emerge, the other two thought nothing of it. He was probably just playing a joke on them, right? Wrong. He was irrevocably dead. The male and female who remained were silent. Black crows hacking a requiem could be heard in the distance; an eerie wave of sound that floated over their heads. The nervousness was beginning to set it. The girl was shivering from something other than the cold. In a show of brawn to impress the woman, the man ventured over to the very same headstone with a cocky grin on his face. He drew nearer, and was soon stolen out of sight. His erratic heartbeat quickened as darkness shrouded him. Gloved hands curled tightly around his neck, cutting off his air supply. He slowly suffocated. Next came the girl. She would be easy, what with her petite body and fragile neck. I was closing in on my final victim for the night. A particularly frigid gust of wind whipped about the graveyard, sweeping my hat off my golden crown of hair. It flew a far ways away from my crouched body, landing close to the now-terrified woman. She saw it immediately and I could see her body tense up. It was now or never. I stood up and cracked my knuckles, allowing her to see me in full stride. Psychological torture was a pleasure I rarely indulged on. This would give me the best rush of the week. Her breath clouds grew larger as I approached; pants rather than simple exhalations. I greeted her in a calm voice that never failed to swindle my victims. She replied shakily and took a subtle step back. Well, we can’t have that, now can we? A gloved hand was held out to her, a sham declaration of cordiality. I spewed sweet lies into the icy air as I wove a tale of clever deceptions. In her eyes, I was a hopelessly lost businessman from Denmark who had stumbled into the cemetery after wandering through a dense forest nearby. She drank up every word I uttered with rapt attention once the moon emerged from behind its cloud cover. Most women believe my stories once they see my extraordinarily handsome face. With a few compliments and trustworthy pleas, the young teenager agreed to follow me to my car. Not that I planned to let her anywhere out of the graveyard. It’s so sad. Children these days are so gullible. They get warned about people like me on a daily basis. They never listen. They very well should, but they don’t. I weep for humanity. I need to wipe this disgusting innocence off the surface if the earth. I was never allowed innocence. Why do other people get to bask in innocence I never had? Now they won’t. I’m going to make sure of it. Once the young lady showed me her pure backside, she set her own fate in stone. I advanced on her; clasping my gloved hands around her smooth throat. She struggled and kicked, but it was to no avail. I could feel her life drain out of her body. Next thing I knew, a bright light blinded me, causing me in inadvertently release my grip on the female’s sweet neck. She managed to get a good kick to my sensitive groin and escaped, dashing off toward the source of the light. I groaned. I had royally screwed up. A pair of intimidating men in dashing navy blue uniforms tackled me to the ground, pinning me beneath their burly bodies. Damn it. I was finally caught. Took the bastards long enough. I was dragged away and tossed into the back of a cruiser like a rag doll. For the first time in my entire life, I was terrified. Not of prison, not of a life sentence, not of divine punishment… I was terrified for my family. What would this do to them? I had kept this secret life hidden for so long… I don’t want to hurt them. I’ve never wanted to hurt them. Everything I do and have done is to protect them. The one phone call I made after being arrested was the most painful moment in my entire life. Worse than my biological father raping and beating me, worse than when I watched my mother bleed to death, and worse than when I was abandoned on the streets. I had to tell Tino I let him down. His desperate sobs on the other end of the line destroyed me inside. I had never wanted to hurt the one man who had saved my life. When he could no longer speak, Berwald was passed the phone. I could hear the disappointment with every breath. He was ashamed to have taken me in. Another kind soul torn apart. Then it was Sigurd’s turn. He only said my name, and I was broken. Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I just listened to him breathe. My name passed quietly over his lips. I sobbed even harder. Mathias. What have you done? Mathias. I love you. Mathias. Stay strong. Every word penetrated my soul like an icy knife, delving deeper with every grieving sob that he couldn’t muffle. What had I done to the man I loved? My time was soon spent. I had to relinquish the phone from my iron grip. I am Mathias. Mathias Khøler. Otherwise known as the Moonlight Killer. I don't know why I even try writing. I suck donkey balls, and I admit that.

War Drabble

There is nothing better than war. That freeing, weightless feeling of cutting someone down. Watching as they helplessly moan, blood seeping from their fresh wounds, as you leave in victory. Swords clashing, gunshots echoing, dying breaths...  Adrenaline pumps through your body, searing every part, from the crown of your head to the very tips of your toes. You can feed off of it--it becomes palpable in the bloody air. The pure exhilaration of the chase, of the fight. Smiles refuse to leave your face. There is no replacement for war, no sir. It becomes a part of you. It ingrains itself deeper and deeper every day. You become dependant on the rush. Feral desires course through your system, etching away at your humanity. At your resolve to remain human. Eventually, the cord of conscience is dissolved and your animal instincts are released upon the world. Anything and anyone that stands in your way is free game. An obstacle for you to overcome.  War is beautiful. In its own way, it mitigates the stress on our fragile connections to true humanity. It makes us free. Enslaved to our ideals of perfection, as we all are, but free. Wild and free. Wild is a word used to lightly describe things that do not conform to society. Freedom is a word used to describe an illusion that everyone thinks they need. But with war, the wild freedom is all too real and all too conforming. War is normal. War is everywhere. War is wild. War is freedom. War is nothing and everything. War--the conflict, the reasons, the background, the result--is what makes the world go round in a very basic sense. As long as we humans have congregated into groups, war has existed. It has evolved and developed alongside mankind. War is a part of our identity. In terms of human culture, war is on par with music, language, kinship... Everything that makes humans humans.  It doesn't matter what you're fighting for, so long as you fight. That's the best part of war; everybody and nobody wins. It's a battle with yourself, manifested into battle with other self-conflicted humans like yourself. A big bucket of feelings versus another big bucket of feelings. Humanity evolved to fight. Humanity evolved to defeat everything else. Humanity evolved to be the very best. Once Mother Nature ran out of creations for us to fight, we turned to one another. We search for any reason to attack and lay siege to another. That's what we humans do. We search for war in places it doesn't belong. If we don't find any, we shove some in there. War is terrible and beautiful, a glacier in the seas of mankind.  Dude, I only asked you why you have three swords under your bed, I didn't want any philosophical mumbo-jumbo. That was art, asshat. A masterpiece of words. Just leave that shit to Shakespeare or whatever next time. You, Sir Romano, are a dick. You're an idiot, Sir Prussia.

"I really don't want to hear the word 'wang' over and over; so let's just call Billy's enormous schlong his 'tremendous' rather than 'tremendous wang'. Thank you, class."

My perfect English teacher. :') 

LADY. LADY PLZ. 

IT'S CHERRY-POPPIN' TIME

OKAI GAIZ. EET EES TIEM.

Virgin tumblr post. I'm scared.

HERE GOES NOTHING.

jk heres another line of stupid shit

now here's the real thing:

Our fire drill broke today at school! We were there, chillin' in band like the awesome peeps we are, and lo and behold, the fire drill goes off. Schlett (band instructor dude of awesome) sighs and tells us all to go out. He's always pissed when they cut our rehearsal time. Today, however, was different than most. We were outside for twenty minutes and in that time, two fire trucks showed up. There was no actual fire, of course, just a malfunction. We spent the rest of the day almost pissing ourselves as the fire alarm randomly went off. Fun times.

And now my cherry is popped! :')

P.S. In math we watched a video and the teacher's name in the video was "Mrs. Highman." I about died. It has the words "high" and "man" in it, and it also is the hyman. Mrs. Virgin Barrier.