Thots on the Pope

So the pope has thots now

playing MTG with people who have been in the game for like 20 years is so insufferable sometimes

every turn they're like "I play Cock Goblin of Guzzleberg" and everyone else at the table nods and goes "ah yes of course, the Cock Goblin, classic" and doesn't explain.

so I'm like okay. what does that do. and they go "well it has a Guzzler effect" and I'm like okay great what the FUCK is a Guzzler Effect™

and then after like 10 minutes of trying to get them to explain, eventually I figure out that there was a card called Guzzler Greebling that was only printed ONCE in 1998, and its text was "when this creature ETBs, everyone at the table has to suck your dick" and this card got so popular in Standard at the time that now all effects that involve dick-sucking are called "Guzzlers" by the players

Wake up, babe, new religion just dropped

i have been "cancelled" by the geocaching community for leaving my hand-forged razorblades in my area's caches as a prize, despite their subtle damascus steel striations and masturful edge

one of the funniest things about disco elysium to me is that kim never once gives an appropriate amount of fucks about harry’s medical emergency. you’ll be like kim help i don’t remember what a car is and he’ll say detective can you please get your shit together i’m trying to do my fucking job here

depicting sexual assault in media is not an endorsement of it 🤝 it's reasonable for audiences to expect a certain level of care and awareness in its presentation 🤝 there is oftentimes an over-reliance on sexual violence in creating the backstories, trajectories, and conflicts of fictional women 🤝 sexual violence is prevalent in society and stories about it do need to be told as a reflection of our reality 🤝 sometimes male writers and directors are extremely bad at telling these stories and audiences are justified in demanding better

remember when you used to be able to play snake with the… hold on what’s it called

hmm. don’t think i’ll be calling it that. anyways i was gonna say remember when you could play snake with the buffering circle on youtube but. now i have other concerns

"Absolutely no one comes to save us but us."

Ismatu Gwendolyn, "you've been traumatized into hating reading (and it makes you easier to oppress)", from Threadings, on Substack [ID'd]

this is the kinda stuff you guys want right

An Increasingly Frustrated Pokemon Trainer who wants a Sylveon but he isn’t emotionally equipped enough to understand the nuanced difference between friendship and affection so he just has like 13 Espeons and Umbreons