Tumgik
tinabarbarina · 3 months
Note
Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?
Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.
It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.
I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.
If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.
Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.
In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.
Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.
This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.
If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.
In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.
15K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 7 months
Text
OK Tumblr Geriatric Ward, let’s talk about your posture-
Tumblr media
there are things you should be doing now to prevent yourself from starting to look like 🥀
Why does it matter? Future you would like to avoid the pain, limited motion, and fall risk that goes along with worsening posture.
What’s the focus?
1. Keep the flexibility in your spine
2. Stretch the muscles in the front
3. Strengthen the muscle in the back
Here are some simple things you can do daily while sitting and when you get up to go into the bathroom or the kitchen
Keep the flexibility by doing these repeated movements: 10 repetitions several times a day
Tumblr media
The goal is to give yourself a double or triple chin. Keep your nose pointing forward, don’t let it tip up or down
Tumblr media
Thoracic extension- use a chair with a seat back that comes up to the level of your shoulder blades. Try to bend back over the top of the chair without arching away from the seat back and without extending your neck. If the pressure from the top of the chair is uncomfortable you can place a towel there
Stretch the muscles in the front by using a door frame. This one will feel good afterwards
Tumblr media
If this isn’t enough of a stretch you can do one side at a time. If you have the right arm up step forward with the right foot and turn slightly to the left. Then do it on the other side.
Tumblr media
Strengthen the muscles in the back by squeezing your shoulder blades together for a count of 10 and then repeating 10 times. You can do this several times a day Hint: Don’t lift your shoulder blades up
Tumblr media Tumblr media
There are lots more exercises for strengthening your back muscles but this is a good starting point and easy to do. I like doing it while driving
Tips:
Do the best you can
If it hurts stop
Envision future you saying thank you each time you do one of the exercises
122K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
651 notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 11 months
Photo
Tumblr media
254K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 11 months
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
just go see an ob-gyn
136K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 1 year
Text
"Stop saying 15 year olds with weird interests are cringe, they're 15" this is true however you should also stop saying adults with weird interests are cringe because who gives a shit
250K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 1 year
Text
One time I heard a dude online compare new and obscure LGBT terminology to newspeak. This I think is one of the biggest examples I have seen of people with their whole chest ignoring the basic themes of 1984.
In 1984 the whole point of newspeak was that it shrinks. Ideas that could once be communicated now cannot. Everything is simplified as much as possible. You cannot explain complicated ideas of freedom or equality because the words no longer exist, or they don’t mean what they once did.
More specifically, there is canonically no word for “gay” in 1984. There are only two words for the entire spectrum of sexuality. “goodsex” and “sexcrime”. If you’re gay it’s the exact same as being a pedophile. And those are is the exact same as cheating on your wife, which is the exact same daring to fuck your wife just because you feel like it. Which is no different than literally any sex act that might offend big brother.
Do you see what’s happening? In 1984 can no longer ask your wife to peg you or something because the word for pegging is the exact same word for pedophile. And you can’t come out as gay because all you can say is that you did a criminal sex act, which means you cannot make a case for your rights either.
Inventing made up words to describe obscure things that previously lacked words would literally be a perfect remedy to newspeak. This language would counter every barrier to communicating the necessary concepts. Because it’s what literally every normal non-dystopian language does.
29K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 1 year
Video
226K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
2K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 2 years
Text
Hey shout out to all the low-empathy people out there who had to deliberately learn how to comfort people
Everything I know about how to make people feel better I learned from books and magazines. I took diligent notes, marking down when to offer advice and when to just say "that sucks". I built scripts and tested them until they worked. I learned where my limits were and how to help people without crossing them.
None of this just "developed naturally" as I grew up. I did it consciously and with purpose, because even before I knew I had low empathy I knew there was something different about me, and I knew I'd have to go about it differently if I wanted to fill in the gaps.
Just because you use scripts and deliberate methods to help people doesn't mean you don't really care or that all your soothing words are empty. You just learned in a different way and that's okay.
18K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
230K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 3 years
Text
Huge family dinner, no covid restrictions. Typical 🙄
44K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 4 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#CALL HIM OUT
70K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media
164K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 6 years
Photo
Tumblr media
16 notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 6 years
Text
Science communications has to change.
It does. It’s important that we change now. We should have done it before. 
And I don’t know what changes need to be made but I do feel like science communications and outreach has a few really glaring problems.
1. We mostly talk to children. That’s fine. They are the future. But they aren’t the now and when we don’t get their parents engaged to, we’re asking them to clean up a mess when they’re old enough. And when I say children, I really mean children. I don’t know the last time I was at an outreach event that focused on high schoolers or was made for a high school audience. 
2. We’re mostly talking to people who will already be fairly well educated. That’s fine to. But we’re missing people who either have little interest in actively investing in education and people who don’t have access to it. We’re mostly getting contact with people who are already in school. 
3. We are talking to people who already agree. We are preaching to the choir. That makes sense – they are who shows up. I don’t know how to talk to people who already think I’m wrong or a waste of tax payer dollars but I would love to find out. Negin Farsad might have some tips, though.
4. We exclude people. We do. We often implicitly exclude religious groups. We often implicitly exclude people who don’t have a higher education. My mother, even, was nervous about having dinner with my undergraduate advisor because, “[she doesn’t] have a doctorate, [she doesn’t] know how to talk to somebody that smart.” I don’t know how to stop that impression but I would love to. 
5. Maybe, too many of us are career scientists. That’s fantastic – we have a job we are passionate about. But…then it is a little easy to write off our excitement. I’m not always that impressed by how cool math is when a mathematician gets excited about it. But if my barista got excited about a proof – wow, that must be a really cool proof, right!?
6. We don’t always have the communication skills. This is obvious because the seminars I go to are not as exciting to me as a TEDTalk, even if the subject matters to me more. We need to hone those skills. For me, I’m hoping to take improv classes. Write more. Try different things. But we need to include professional communicators or theater departments or artists in our efforts.
I am 23. I am not a seasoned science communicator. I might not even be a seasoned communicator. I can’t find the answers to all of these but I know they are problems. 
9K notes · View notes
tinabarbarina · 6 years
Photo
Tumblr media
Eh, wut? #illustration #comic #caricature #cartoon #copic #instaart #art #artwork #artist #sketch #sketching #doodle #sketchbook #portrait
1 note · View note