Current mood: Ryan Evans when he wasn’t allowed to sing HumuHumu

what even IS american culture

it’s just a big ball of different cultures with no set value 

i don’t get it

i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies

I thought Pitbull’s first name was “Featuring”.

sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star

how many followers do you need before people starting buying you things 

why can’t there be a boob transfer system for all women?? like, a girl can be like “I have an F cup and I really want to go down a couple of sizes because my back hurts” and a girl with an A cup could be like “Oh could you transfer some of ur boob tissue to me because I’d like to go up a size” and it would be done

do you have any idea how great that would be

I have to press his paw down to hit the enter key

Pug Life

I wish dates didn’t have such strong romantic attachment to them.

Like, I wish I could go up to a friend of mine and be like, “Hey I want to take you to a nice restaurant. Let’s get dressed up fancy and go.”

We’d go have a fancyass dinner, but there’d be no romantic involvement.

I wish platonic dates were a common thing.

I would take each and every one of you on platonic dates.

walking past your crush like

did you guys know that oomf means one of my followers because i didn't

my scars are like paragraphs of a depressing novel all maniacally positioned on the right hand side of what used to be a clean sheet of paper

My daughter has chosen the Dark Side

So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.

I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.” So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.

Then I was like “No.”

It’s that time of month again… you know what that means…