timeflieslikeabanana
Candid Haikus
He/Him. I write poems because I can.
522 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
vitamimesea
doodling (till death)
tusaycongnghiep
Tủ sấy công nghiệp giá rẻ nhất Hà Nội,MiềnBắc
tribeofsuns
Untitled
hobiebrownbrowser
Citric Acid
allura-me
Aluli
Text
Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.
Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I'm so clever! I will now be reminded that it's only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!
Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: ...another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.
15K notes
·
View notes
Photo
Tag yourself I’m the “Overdressed and Underappreciated”. Artist : http://www.mattadrian.com/
513K notes
·
View notes
Text
🕑🪽🍌
write your url by only using emojis
🍅✨✨
189K notes
·
View notes
Text
To The Person Who Walked Past The Window - Jordan Bolton
My first book ‘Blue Sky Through the Window of a Moving Car’ is now available to pre-order! Get it here - https://smarturl.it/BlueSky
43K notes
·
View notes
Text
leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this
70K notes
·
View notes
Text
hello beloveds ☺️
241K notes
·
View notes
Text
people who don't wear glasses don't get the added benefit of taking off your HD eyesight for a while. just. fuck it! i'm done. 240p vision time
171K notes
·
View notes
Text
The icon for Banishment is so funny.
Just get outta here. Leave.
75K notes
·
View notes
Text
a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
text your landlord
remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
back up
ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
the door swings open
run up the stairs
open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
write tumblr post
265K notes
·
View notes
Note
If you were a wizard what would your wizard tower/lair be?
So imagine a wizard tower themed after the kingdom of Gondor from The Lord of the Rings (white stone, epic architecture). Then put a couch in there.
#i love this question#i would also have a gaming setup in there#and an ever-increasing amount of books#the whole tower would eventually be taken over by bookshelves from ceiling to floor#and of course there would be the orbs#cant forget the orbs
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
inspired by boop day, reblog this post if its ok for people to send you random asks and interact on your posts with no judgement. i want to talk to people.
56K notes
·
View notes
Text
There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function
103K notes
·
View notes
Text
first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line
115K notes
·
View notes