Rae graduating tonight was pretty spectacular, but for me it was also very special because the youngest of my demo team kids has moved on to college. These 4 will always have my heart and my most profound respect. They have accomplished great things already and will continue to set the world on fire. #SNS #Eagle #xero #phoenix #raeven #blade #veryproudmama

Graduation day!!! It's here and I could not be more proud 💙💙💙 I love you Rae! #GoDawgs #graduation #OHS #BamaBound #stillcantbelieveit (at Opelika High School)

Baccalaureate 💙😀😀 #OHS #GoDawgs #proudmomma (at Opelika Center for the Performing Arts)

My sweet girl in her grad regalia for the first time 💙💙💙 #proudmama #GoDawgs #OHS (at Opelika Center for the Performing Arts)

Happy mother's day to my wonderful mom 💛 my role model in so many ways. She is and always will be an inspiration for me. I love you mommy!!! #happymothersday

This is my mother's day right here 💛💙 #happymothersday #proudmama #happycamper (at The Beach!!!)

Had to get a pic with my 2 fave martial artists 💛💙 #taekwondo #taekwondounited (at Orange Beach Event Center)

May the Force be with you 👍😀 #maythe4thbewithyou #StarWars #jedimindtricks

This might be my fave picture from yesterday's challenge. The fact that we waited to put these on until after was significant - the quote on the back is powerful. And as soon we got over the first obstacle, the Berlin Wall, by ourselves with no help from anyone I knew we were gonna get this done. #fellowflowers #iamthestorm #toughmudderatlanta #toughmudder (at Bouckaert Farms)

Huge S/O to @running_ninja for the inspiration, @kindredninja for being there with us, and @mightread for multiple assurances that I wasn't going to die in the Electroshock Therapy 💛💛💛 #toughmudder #toughmudderatlanta (at Bouckaert Farms)

Ladies and gentlemen.. Your 2017 WGI World Champions.. MUSIC CITY MYSTIQUE!!! So proud of this group, season and this Finals run 😊 I love you Sam!! #MusicCityMystique #wgi2017 #gold (at University of Dayton Arena)

Yeah you know I had to get a pic with this right? Finals day!! Go Mystique!! #wgi2017 #wgipercussion (at University of Dayton Arena)

Loving some lot life ☺️☺️ can't wait to see Music City Mystique! @musiccitymystique (at University of Dayton Arena)

The Climb

Thus begins the climb.

People who know me well know that I am quasi-obsessed with Mount Everest. I always have been. Ever since first hearing the story of Sir Edmund Hillary and seeing photos of the great mountain I have been fascinated by it. The first time I climbed a mountain (Mount Rainier in 2010) , I felt in some small way that I was closer to myself, to my God. It was empowering.

(My office staff was honestly just amazed that I was on a glacier, voluntarily. After all, I sometimes use a space heater in my office. In JULY).

Two years ago (I say it was at a medical staff meeting, she says it was a gala) my dear friend Beth Ladisla and I were discussing  running, climbing, and all the outdoor activities we enjoy. She suggested at that time that we should consider doing a trek to Everest Base Camp. We both agreed it would be the trip of a lifetime, an experience we both felt we could have while we were healthy enough to enjoy it. It was a done deal, we said.

Through the business of life and the practice of medicine, we didn’t see each other much during the year that followed, but neither of us forgot that conversation. I had discussed it with my husband and family, and even found former climbing friends who were interested in the prospect. I spoke to my parents as well. The biggest looming concern for me was time away from work. Logistically, being a physician in a solo practice means taking time away from work can be more challenging than just staying in town with your pager on. In the last several years, I will admit that turning off the job has become harder and harder. Leaving town and even taking an overnight vacation becomes stressful, not for any other reason than I feel like I am being less than  good physician when I take any time for myself.

(And even as I write this, I am amazed that the previous sentence pretty clearly describes my thought process. I didn’t know I felt that way until I wrote it down).

I have an  amazing staff, supportive colleagues, and a beautiful, encouraging family. And every time I have discussed this endeavor with them, I have gotten the same response. GO FOR IT. When I told my office manager and my friend Beth that I had serious concerns about taking that much time off work, they both said essentially the same thing. Life’s too short. My father, a general surgeon,  had over  a year of vacation time accumulated when he retired.  In retrospect, I think he fought many of the same demons that I do now.

Tina, my office manager, said something to me that spoke directly to my heart. She said that if I didn’t take this opportunity and follow my dream, if I stay and don’t take the trip just because I feel like I can’t leave, I will begin to resent my job. Every day of my life I thank God for this practice and these wonderful patients I serve. But this dream is in my heart for a reason. Whether it is for me to learn that it is OK to take time for myself, or is because some greater blessing or illumination waits for me in the mountains.

Thus begins the climb. 

Doctor. Diva... or leader?

Mondays are my scheduled days to be in the Operating Room.  I have a schedule of patients who need surgery and I have a staff of excellent people to help me. And usually, I have the same team, people who know me and whom I know and trust.

Beyond the obvious benefit of knowing and trusting an experienced staff, there develops a camaraderie, a closeness which not only makes the days more pleasant, but facilitates an efficiency and an environment which benefits the patient.

And they also talk to me.

They talk to me about the problems in administration, who is quitting and looking for work at other hospitals, who is fighting with whom. While I don’t always get to listen actively because I am otherwise occupied, it does give me insight into the inner workings of my local ivory tower.  

Most recently, as I was finishing the day with my team, I was thanking them for all their help and giving hugs (I am a hugger). My nurse anesthetist thanked me for being so pleasant. I was surprised, honestly. Of course, I said. I was told by other members in the OR that it wasn’t always the case.

I know this. That there are doctors that yell, that throw things, that use abusive language. I told them that I would not be that person. Then I told them why.

My father is a retired general surgeon. A consummate doctor. An internist (the doctors who know everything) who operates (a doctor that does everything). I have always said that my dad is the smartest doctor I have ever met, and I would say that even if he wasn’t my dad. He spend the last years of work as Chief of Staff at a Veterans’ Administration hospital, working toward making an outstanding outpatient facility for his patients and giving up over a year’s worth of vacation to care for our nation’s veterans.

But dad was also a gentleman. He did not yell or throw things in the OR. And he instilled that in me. To the point that he tells me if ever hears of me acting the fool in an OR he is not above punishing me. To be a leader, the “captain of the ship” as a crusty old neurosurgeon once told me I should be, requires carrying oneself with a respect beyond just a title or a degree.

As we move into an era of value-based health care, the title of physician will likely require more than just the practice of clinical medicine. Doctors will be expected to be physician executives, team leaders who can organize other professionals to provide the most efficient care for each patient. The era of the Diva Doctor who thrashes and cries and demands to be pandered is long gone. To be less than the example we would ask our health care system to follow is beneath our education and calling.

I would hope that all physicians would follow the example set by my father. We cannot expect to be the driving force for positive change for the future of health care without holding ourselves to this standard.

Excellent performances by the District VI All District Middle School and High School Honor Band 😀😀🎷🎶🎶🎶 #musicislife🎶 #band #OHS #GoDawgs #proudmama (at Auburn Performing Arts Center At Auburn High School)

Could not be more proud of this guy as he is on his way to his first WGI performance with Music City Mystique. I still remember when Sam came home his freshman year of high school and wanted to march Indoor.. And I had no idea what that was. He showed me "Mantra" on YouTube. 5 years later... WOW. Go get em! Love you Sam 💛 💛 💛 #wgi #MusicCityMystique #proudmama #musicislife🎶