ticktockmyclockworkhart - Tumblr blog

ticktockmyclockworkhart · 1 day

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what if I posted about my rdr2 my little pony au

#rdr2

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 1 month

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I'm perhaps one of the most easy to please Pokemon fans ever. I wouldn't identify myself as a nintendo fanboy or anything even though I love a lot of their IPs (largely because the number one prerequisite to being a "nintendo fanboy" is hating Nintendo more than anything on earth it seems), but I will be the first to admit my standards are much lower than they should be. I eat up everything Pokemon related like the blindly eager little consumer I am, I've beaten every main series game and damn near every spin-off.

All this to say I think it says something when even I haven't beaten BDSP yet, and not for lack of trying. But the game bored me to tears. I've reset my saves on that game more than any other I have in the hopes that "well, maybe the next file I'll be more attached to". I can eat my way through new Pokemon games when they first come out in a few days and never put them down, but whenever I'd put BDSP down I'd have to reset my file again when I picked it back up because I no longer cared about whatever I had going on.

I've been grappling with this for a long time, trying to figure out what it is about this remake that makes it the one Pokemon game someone as easy to please as me couldn't care enough to finish. I'll be fully honest when I say I'll happily take whatever table scraps Game Freak cares to toss me and I'm not proud of that fact lol. I love Gen 4, it's one of my favorite Gens, and I actually like the BDSP artstyle too, I think it's a fun way to keep the spirit of the original games, though it really would have been cool to see Sinnoh at full scale and free to explore in 3D.

But today after another attempted replay I think I figured it out. It's the dumb. Fucking. Experience Share.

Pokemon is a turn based RPG, battling is literally the main gameplay loop and I found that I kept putting the game down because I would get so incredibly bored by the battles. None of them felt necessary and all of them felt way too damn easy. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet had this problem too, I noticed, but what got me to finish those games was I'd never experienced the story before and I wanted to see it finished. But with BDSP I know the story, so why should I finish it if the battles are such a drag? In the original Gen 4 I'd make a point of battling every trainer on every route. I'm very meticulous about my leveling and my Pokemon all need to be within one level of each other, lol. So my incentive for fighting every trainer was to keep my team at a high enough level and also to keep my levels rounded out. But with that EXP share they're always rounded, or god forbid they have different growth rates and I have to keep putting Pokemon away to prevent overleveling which just bothers my OCD more than anything lmao.

It also makes me care so much less about my Pokemon. I cared about my team because I took time to individually raise and train each Pokemon, and if I don't care about my Pokemon then frankly I barely care about the game. In Scarlet/Violet where trainer battles have become entirely optional for the most part I barely did any of them! And in BDSP all I am is annoyed by the trainer battles. There's next to no new content to keep the game interesting and give me a reason to keep playing, and when the main gameplay loop isn't even fun anymore, why would I play at all?

I was worriedly thinking that maybe I'm just getting old and it's hampering my enjoyment of the games (Terrifying thought) but I have just as much fun with ROM hacks that I did with older games. Most notably, there's no broken EXP share. Can't we at least get the option to turn it off? I get trying to find a solution to make grinding less of a miserable drag, because grinding is always the worst part of playing Pokemon, but the broken exp share hasn't made grinding less tedious, it's just made battling as a whole feel hollow and boring.

I still want to beat you some day, BDSP, I really do. Nothing makes me feel sadder than being bored by a franchise I love and I know can do better.

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 1 month

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my tarantula: is among the largest species of her family, has some of the most irritating urticating hairs of NW species, has fangs the size of a domestic cat’s claws, strong enough to drag around half the things in her enclosure with ease, has perfect camouflage on her cocofiber substrate, large enough to make audible intimidating hissing noises, very willing to give threat postures and lunge at anything that intrudes in her enclosure, engineered by mother nature to be an apex arachnid predator capable of taking down prey like lizards, mice, birds, frogs or even snakes

also my tarantula when a worm barely half the length of her shortest leg with a head that has been preemptively crushed wriggles slightly as it dies:

#tarantula #spiderblr #bugblr #goliath birdeater #pet tarantulas #tarantula keeping #things she wants no smoke with: the bugs she’s supposed to eat #things she wants all the smoke with: me the human who is 10 times her size and only opens her enclosure to give her water without interactin

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 1 month

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shoutout to the time where failed yes and-ing accidentally canonized my ttrpg character having erectile dysfunction on our first real session

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 2 months

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my tarantula sitting at the back of her burrow after unblocking it for the first time in ages after being MIA all this time waiting for me to see her shriveled skin suit

#tarantulas

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 2 months

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I love Astarion because he's an imperfect victim, he's someone who believes being hurt justifies hurting others but most of all I love his spawn ending and hate all the ascended Astarion takes about how the spawn ending is taking him away from what he really wants and needs just frustrates me so much.

As a trauma survivor myself and someone who has been surrounded by people with unhealthy coping mechanisms for most of his life, I love the spawn ending because it is, to me, the crux of what it means to start to heal. Sometimes the process of healing hurts too, and it can hurt a lot. And Astarion's story puts you in a position as a player that I've seen a lot myself- where someone you care about and who has been deeply hurt is so fixated on a truly destructive thing because they are genuinely convinced it's what will help them. Saying "no" and talking down someone who is struggling that much is an immensely hard thing to do as someone who has been on both ends of that equation. To let Astarion ascend is to enable him, to tell him he's right to be afraid of the world and that power is what he needs to feel safe. And it can be so, so hard, because when you're in Tav's shoes, it's hard to deny a person who is in so much pain something they are so thoroughly convinced will make them safe. But Astarion only really sees things as people with power and people without, that's what all his time with Cazador had taught him.

I remember seeing a post saying spawn Astarion's ending is "coddling" and "babying" him but it's really the opposite. Ascension is enabling him, not standing up to him and letting him buy into his tunnel-vision fixation about the ritual. Keeping him a spawn is the harder choice and requires more work to convince him, but speaking as someone with some unhealthy coping mechanisms myself and my family members in the same spot, you can't coddle someone engaging in destructive behavior if you ever want them to improve. Astarion is genuinely convinced that the ritual is going to make him safe, and one of the hardest things in the world is trying to push against and deny the requests of someone who is suffering. But myself, if I wasn't talked down from certain things or pathways no matter what I thought I wanted, I wouldn't be here and who I am today. Spawn Astarion is the harder road to travel but it's what Astarion needs to heal. Key example being if you bring up Cazador when he ascends, he lashes out and tells you to never mention him. He has all the power he wants, but he is still afraid, it didn't solve anything for him and he's just going to keep chasing more. Whereas spawn Astarion is willing to talk about Cazador and what happened. Because sometimes as a person with trauma you really do get fixated on something ultimately unhealthy for you and you might not like that truth, but the best people in your lives will be the ones who stand up to that fixation because they care and pull you away from it.

Spawn Astarion's ending is such a beautiful tale of healing, and I adore how it doesn't omit any of the ugly parts, either... because when it comes to healing, there really are a lot of ugly parts.

This was brought on by seeing a lot of people complaining about Ascended Astarion's kisses in patch 6 and how Tav looks scared. I mean, yeah, that's what an abusive relationship looks like... that's what the ascended ending is. It's not supposed to be good. You made your bed, now sleep in it.

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 3 months

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Playing oblivion in front of my roommates was hard because I spent all this time talking about how the dark brotherhood had a vampire who I was so gay for and was so totally into

the vampire in question:

#vicente valtieri #why does he look like that fr

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 3 months

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where are my ozcal shippers (grand total of three people)

#monster prom #oz x calculester #i am always here #even if this is not my current hyperfixation i will forever hold this ship’s mantle and ride as its champion

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 3 months

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Tired of people being so dismissive of/slandering Wyll. Like I’m 1000% on the Astarion train but I recognize Astarion is genuinely a shitty person at times and his trauma doesn’t mean he can be excused from being things like yknow. Canonically racist. Like I adore Astarion but honey. no matter how much I love you you are a spiteful menace who needs to work on himself for real

But Wyll is just so nice and sweet and is such a genuinely good guy!! It disappoints me so much people don’t like him… and also on me liking Astarion, something I’ve seen a lot of in this fandom is a lot of people acting like you can’t like one kind of character without dragging the other constantly. Just because I like Wyll doesn’t mean I hate Astarion. just because I love Astarion doesn’t mean I hate Wyll. Literally all of the companions are deeply nuanced characters and yall need to give Wyll a break for real. When Tav has the option to say “he’s a good man. Maybe the best of us.” to Karlach they are RIGHT.

And it’s not like he’s boring or anything, I don’t know where that comes from… the son of a duke exiled from his home with a deep rift driven between him and the father he loves because a devil got her claws into him and convinced him to sign away his soul for the promise he could protect the people he loved? My guy what isn’t interesting about that?? And I love Wyll even more for the fact that, like Karlach, literally all the shit that gets tossed his way never stops him from being a good person. I always feel so bad breaking his poor heart when the game gives me his act 2 romance scene. Sorry buddy…

Wyll is my guy though and just because this is an Astarion loving zone doesn’t mean this is a Wyll hating zone. Door’s over there if you don’t like Wyll. When my Tav and Astarion get married he’s gonna be the best man. My dragonborn Tav thinks his horns are magnificent. Of fucking course I’ll do a little boogie with the guy.

I’m tired of people acting like genuinely good-aligned characters are boring.

#wyll ravengard

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 3 months

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@hurtyknees Caspier is flattered but he’s faithfully Astarion’s alone. He’ll smooch your forehead platonically tho <3

#my tav #bg3 tav #astarion #astarion x tav #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #caspier beludaire #dragonborn

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 4 months

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Get to know your Tav!

(Ask game format available here!)

Thanks for the patience of everyone who’s been waiting on this questionnaire. Below are some “get to know you” questions about the current or favorite Tav of anyone that would like to participate. Feel free to skip any questions that don’t strike your fancy or apply to your character by marking them with an “X”.

I can’t wait to get to know your characters!

Introduce your Tav (name, race/class, pronouns):

What is your Tav’s…

favorite weapon:

style of combat:

most prized possession:

deepest desire:

guilty pleasure:

best-kept secret:

greatest strength:

fatal flaw:

favorite smell:

favorite spell or cantrip:

pet peeve:

bad habit:

hidden talent:

leisure activity:

favorite drink:

comfort food:

favorite person:

favored display of affection (platonic and/or romantic):

fondest childhood memory:

Is there anything else you'd like to share? (feel free to include art or a screenshot of your Tav if available!)

Thanks for your participation, a dark urge questionnaire is coming soon!

Tagging:

@queenjayrogue , @owmyeyeballs , @teamdilf , @rapture29 ,

@astraphone , @evye , @kaldurcalm , @tavsboots , @parricidalis ,

@aroace-nut-case , @knightingale-errant , @firetear11 , @n0vab1rn

& anyone else that would like to participate!

Text divider credit @saradika

#gonna do this for my tavs and durges!!

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 4 months

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reconfigures my whole art style to draw my stupid pointy vampire man crush

#astarion #bg3 fanart #bg3 #baldurs gate fanart #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #drawing exercise #astarion bg3 #what if i let u drink my blood …. and we were both boys??

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 4 months

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day ??? of all the ascended astarion cope on youtube driving me absolutely bonkers it’s fine if that’s the ending you want to go for but the utter lack of understanding people have for what it is, that it is an abusive relationship that perpetuates the cycle astarion was trapped in is ughhhhhhh i hate that media literacy is so dead for a character so delicately and tenderly written as a realistic portrayal of abuse recovery

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 4 months

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Baldur's Gate 3 Companion!Tav Ask List

What if your Tav was a recruitable companion, instead of the main character? (contains major spoilers for the game, and for some dark urge runs as well)

General

Where can your Tav be recruited? Are they first encountered on the Nautiloid, or in the Nautiloid crash region? Or are they not recruitable until a later act?

Do the other companions have special comments or reactions upon recruiting your Tav?

Does your Tav have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

What sort of general actions raise or lower their approval?

Are there any instances where your Tav can permanently leave the party, depending on player character actions?

Do they have any secrets that can be revealed? What are the prerequisites for this secret coming to light?

Do they have their own personal quest that spans the course of the game? Can it take different branching paths depending on the choices the Player Character makes?

What do they say when the Player Character asks them to stay in camp? How about when the Player Character asks them to come adventuring again?

Does your Tav have any escalating conflicts with one of the other companions, like Lae’zel and Shadowheart’s knife-fight?

Are there any unique NPCs associated with your Tav that can show up during the course of the game?

Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for your character? (Like Gale’s anecdote about the barfight after you save the goblin prisoner)

Story Specific

How does your Tav advise the player character when it comes to the Dream Visitor?

How do they advise the player character on Raphael?

How do they react to Astarion biting the Player Character?

How do they react to the Player Character letting Abdirak whip them?

How do they react to the Player Character taking their first tadpole power?

Will they stay with the Player Character regardless of siding with the goblins or the tieflings, or is it possible for them to leave the party permanently?

What can they be found doing at the tiefling/goblin party?

Do they have comments on who the Player Character chooses to spend the night with?

Do they have unique dialogue if the Player Character lets them die when they steal the Blood of Lathander?

How do they react if the PC licks the dead spider in the Gauntlet of Shar?

What do they say if the PC tries to force them to go up on stage with Dribbles the Clown?

Is it possible for your Tav to be kidnapped and replaced by Orin? How is Orin's deception revealed? How do they react to the PC rescuing them in the Temple of Bhaal?

How do they react to the PC either allowing Astarion to ascend or convincing him to spare the 7000 spawn?

How does Tav react to the PC becoming a mind flayer? Can they offer to become one themselves? Does their reaction change if they’re romanced?

How do they react when the Dark Urge first reveals their amnesia and murderous thoughts to them?

How do they react to the Dark Urge killing Alfira?

If romanced, how do they react to the Dark Urge trying to kill them in Act 2?

Romance

Is your Tav a romanceable character? Are there any specific requirements to romancing them?

Does your Tav need to be flirted with to start the romance, or will they approach the PC themselves if approval is high enough?

Are they a polyamorous or a monogamous option?

Do they have a special romance scene at the tiefling/goblin party?

Does the romance have different branching paths, or just one route to take?

How do they react to the player character breaking up with them, or choosing another character over them?

What questions can Zethino ask the PC about Tav in the Love Test?

If they’re poly, do they have a reaction to the PC engaging in a relationship with Halsin?

How do they react if the PC has sex with Mizora? The Emperor? Haarlep?

Will they join in with the PC and the Drow Twins, or no?

What are Tav’s plans for the future? Do they propose to the PC, or is marriage not something they’re interested in?

Free space! Share anything from your companion!Tav au!

#PWEASE #caspier beludaire #jalis of crèche fi’eld

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 4 months

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BG3 EPILOGUE SPOILERS

I put these two clips back to back because I think it’s such a small but sweet detail about Astarion, his comfort with Tav and leaning into all these kind touches he’s never had, so here’s hugging Astarion during the game at the start of your relationship versus hugging him at the epilogue party.

The way the uncertainty goes to such an eagerness is so wonderful to me, how he goes from sitting there dumbfounded with Tav’s arms around him, not knowing how to react, to walking happily into Tav’s arms the moment he sees them opening them up for a hug. Such a nice bit of storytelling about how his relationship with certain forms of intimacy has evolved—I think it’s pretty clear after being hugged for the first time he decided this kind of intimacy is something he’s a very big fan of.

Every aspect of his character is so *chef’s kiss* and I feel parts of myself healing just seeing him through this journey to his own healing.

also ask me about my tav teehee… find his little profile graphic here

#astarion #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 #baldur’s gate 3 spoilers #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 epilogue spoilers #astarion x tav #Caspier Beludaire

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 4 months

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p…pwease ask

30 Questions for your Tav

These questions can be used as an Ask Game or just answering them all for fun character development!

(Dark Urge edition here)

What was your Tav’s place of birth and raising like?

What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

Did your Tav receive any formal or informal education? If yes, how well did they learn? If no, why not?

What hobbies does your Tav have? How did they acquire these interests?

Did your Tav have any formal or informal employment? If yes, what was their job? If no, how did they make ends meet? How did they feel about it?

What is your Tav’s favourite childhood memory?

What circumstances led to your Tav becoming their Class/Subclass?

Did your Tav have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

What was your Tav doing when they were taken by the mind flayers?

What would your Tav consider to be their greatest skill? Is this accurate?

What would your Tav consider to be their greatest flaw? Is this accurate?

What opinion does your Tav have about the Gods?

How does your Tav feel about the wilderness?

How does your Tav feel about the city?

What motivates your Tav to either embrace or resist the tadpole?

How does your Tav feel about killing?

How good of a liar is your Tav? How do they feel about lying?

What is your Tav’s greatest fear?

What is your Tav’s greatest desire?

What is your Tav’s greatest regret?

How does your Tav feel about love?

Has your Tav become particularly close to anyone romantically and/or platonically in their journey? If so, who, and what is the relationship like? If no, why not?

What are 2-3 songs that your Tav would relate to?

What first impression does your Tav give off to strangers?

How does your Tav feel about what others think of them?

Does your Tav have a treasured item with them? If yes, what is it and why is it special? If no, how do they feel about item sentimentality in general?

How does your Tav feel about giving and receiving orders?

How well does your Tav function under pressure?

What advice would you give to your Tav?

What are your Tav’s intentions/goals after the end of the game?

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ticktockmyclockworkhart · 5 months

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ask me about my tavs pretty pretty pleaaaaase

#dnd character #baldur’s gate 3 tav #my tav #tav

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