“There are no banana peels.”

— Famous last clown words

this is one of my favorite TAH quotes n i just really wanted to use it for something

Meet Viv ‘Slim’ Bendendenetto and Charlie 'East’ Mortem, best friends and co-workers. They’ve each been employee of the month at Here To There Incorporated. And oh yes – they deliver packages.

Spooky Hal (via thrillingadventurequotes)

Update: We have been informed that the second gentleman’s name is spelled “Chollie Eastmorland.“

Meet Viv 'Slim' Bendendenetto and Chollie Eastmorland, best friends and co-workers. They've each been employee of the month at Here To There Incorporated. And oh yes -- they deliver packages.

Spooky Hal

Do you hate middle-men like I do? Sure! Unless you are one. And still even then.

Dan Bucatino, of Bucatino Business

If you want the truth, the guy unlocked the door, then the hitchhiker opened the door and got in the car, and that's about everything there is to that part of the story.

Highwayman Dan: Your guns got a name?

Sparks Nevada: Yup! "Guns!"

Highwayman Dan: How do you feel about knives?

Sparks Nevada: Don't shoot worth a dang.

Highwayman Dan: How do you feel about folk that name their knives?

Sparks Nevada: Live and let live?

Highwayman Dan: Ain't no outlaw thing to say.

Sparks Nevada: Kill and let kill?

Highwayman Dan: Better.

Sparks Nevada: Howdy. You the fellas forming up the gang?

Highwayman Dan: I'm the one forming up the gang, and he's the one comprising it.

Do you think my name is Marshal Halp?

Sparks Nevada

I know tomorrow is Monday, but...

…remember that when you wake up in the morning, there will be a new episode of Thrilling Adventure Hour in your podcast feed!

Sparks Nevada: G'loot Praktaw

Croach the Tracker: FINALLY

Sadie Doyle: Ohhh, a situation such as this magnifies all of the negative feelings we've ever had about each other to a murderous degree.

Frank Doyle: Oh, certainly. Every slight or disappointment becomes a churning tidal wave of anger and violence.

Sadie Doyle: We shall get back to you if we ever encounter one or the other.

—"Dead & Breakfast" (Beyond Belief, Thrilling Adventure Hour #30)

Clown!

This has been the Thrilling Adventure Hour podcast.

The Thrilling Adventure Hour

Frank Doyle: Sadie met me on my last day as the boogie-man to boogie-men. I saw her and put in my papers. So if you think taking Sadie away from me and then throwing a bunch of monsters my way will scare me, I'll let you in on this. It is a thing I cherish and appreciate, that I will get to show these monsters and animals how little I care for them when Sadie's not around. Relive the good old days until Sadie and I reunite. Am I scared? No! I am excited to see if I still got it. And guess what? I still got it. I'll take the skeleton first and use his bones to take the rest of you. That's my plan, but I'll play it by ear. They all have bones, as the skeleton pointed out. So we'll see whose I use. 

Sadie Doyle: Oh, Frank, be gentle.

Frank Doyle: Only when by your side once more, my darling. And Nightmares, monsters, if you care to meet the only person I've ever met who leaves me in the dust in terms of merciless cruelty and toughness, you've already met her. You've put in danger the thing she loves above all else.

Sadie Doyle: You.

Frank Doyle: Me! On the one hand, I would like to see what she does to you. But on the other, I may have too faint a stomach for it.

—"It’s a Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad World" (Beyond Belief, Thrilling Adventure Hour #219)

Sadie Doyle: Yes, do try your luck with Sadie. Frank Doyle: Oh, do not fall for that. Sadie Doyle: Our love is the best. Do you care to see our worst?

—"It’s a Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad World" (Beyond Belief, Thrilling Adventure Hour #219)

"Well, that's a fine how-do-you-don't! Not only aren't there glasses in our hands, there are chains around our wrists! What is this, Thursday?"

 —Frank Doyle, "Stabbin' in the Woods" (Beyond Belief, Thrilling Adventure Hour #208)