“I miss my wife” is an emotional that you don’t even need to have a wife to feel. Strong, defined emotion, wife or no wife

Human alchemy

The trifecta

this is real

Bro İ hate being an academic they're making me write shit 😭 İ thought İ was just supposed to sit in an old chair smoke & say something french every now and then 😢

Multiple stab wounds

Don't thake that the wrong way

Wizard Tip of the Day: Color code your outfit, but use a color NOT associated with your main elemental domain to confuse your enemies. No one expect a rock in the face from a dude in blue robes

my dad is the funniest person in the world to make small talk with. we passed a taco bell and he was like “what’s your favorite thing to get there” and i said “the crunchwrap supreme” and he said “tell me about it” and i described it to him and he said “that sounds delicious. what’s your second favorite thing at taco bell”

How r u out here being homophobic and still writing mpreg 😭

Those are two entirely separate things. But I guess I couldn’t expect someone like you to understand that.

like sometimes you just have to toast yesterday’s bread put some sicilian tomatoes and a fuckton of mozzarella and oregano on it and call it a day

sunk cost fallacy? how SUCK COCK FALLACY!!!!!!!!!!

I will forever respect Animorphs for tricking kids who are just really into animals to read a book series by going “Hey you, you daydream about what it’s like to be a dolphin or a bird or a wolf? Have I got a book for you!” and then slowly radicalizing them with 50+ books of “There are no winners in war. Whatever ‘victory’ you perceive comes at the cost of sacrificing your own morals and killing the part of you that is human. In the end you will resort to murder, torture and war crimes and the knowledge of what you have done will haunt you for as long as you live.”

I kinda don't want to have regrets anymore. I could just have an aneurysm at any moment. Sheesh.