theunsatisfiedsagittaurius
The Unsatisfied Sagittaurius
This blog is dedicated to a journey I have to take. A journey I will take because I'm unsatisfied by what I've become. Good grades and charity aren't enough; I'm thirsty for beauty, beauty of self. My name's Tori and there's much more ground to cover.
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Leap into the dark,
fear not the shadows you see,
I’ll wrap you in light.
Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson
(via tylerknott)
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Some days I falter under your strength, believing the twisted images you project. The amount of days I cower will decrease, and I will stand taller in your company. Those dangerous words you whisper will do no harm to my usually sensitive mind.“
Tess Hybert, “Dear OCD” (via twloha)
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“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”
Image: the chive
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I think people who are dealing with severe depression or having suicidal thoughts often believe that the world would be better without them in it and that the people around them would be “relieved.” I wish I could tell them that they are mistaken. It’s extremely painful to lose somebody to suicide. The pain and the questions don’t really ever leave. I still can’t talk or think about my most recent encounter without breaking down. To those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts, I would beg them to continue their brave struggle, and I would implore them to seek help.
Jared Padalecki, “Jared Padalecki Explains What Inspires Him to “Always Keep Fighting” (via twloha)
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“The moment you realize your bones are made of the same dust as the planets, your lungs are breathing the same air as the migrating butterflies, and your blood is pumping because of the love and care of thousands;
is when you realize you are not as broken as you think you are.
you are full of the world.”
"Into my soul”, Watercolor on Arches, 2014
Via Della De Leos
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“I can’t change the world, but I can change the world in me.”-Bono
Image via typeeverything.com
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“I always believed in futures,
I hope for better in November
I try the same losing lucky numbers
It could be a cold night for a lifetime”
Have you ever taken a StrengthsFinder test? I hadn’t until recently. If you plan on taking one, prepare to learn a lot about yourself. I mean a lot. Stuff you never even realize until you read it on paper and you think, “This is who I am, put into words.” I found out that one of my dominant strengths is that I’m “futuristic,” that I’m always thinking about what the future holds.
This is completely, positively, 100% accurate - and it’s true to a fault.
You see, I have always had a tendency to spend an unnecessary amount of time concerned about the future. I worry about what I’m going to do with my life, who I’ll end up with, and what I have to do to make sure I don’t end up full of regret. I do all of this rather than enjoying the here and now, and I’m realizing that right now is the future that I once looked forward to.
“I always could count on futures
That things will look up, and they look up.
Why is it so hard to find a balance
Between living decent and the cold and real?”
On my bad days, I concentrate strictly on the possibility of better days: Today might be awful, and tomorrow might be awful too, but good days will come again. Then, when the good days come, I find myself preparing for the next bad day.
Anxiety has a way of making you think like that. It’s the monster that lives under your bed that you’ve never actually seen. But its image is always in the back of your mind, never knowing when you’re going to open your eyes and see it staring back at you. It digs up the memories you thought you buried in the sandbox of your mind. Anxiety has a way of keeping you from being completely, blissfully happy because you’re thinking of the things you’ve done wrong or the things you could do wrong.
I’ve been struggling with anxiety for several years, and every day I wake up wondering how I’m going to feel about myself that day. I wake up wondering if I’m going to be reminded of everything I’ve done that I’m not proud of, the ways I feel I’m not good enough, or everything I have to do to prepare for the future. At 22, the list of each of these things seems to go on forever.
“Hey now, the past is told by those who win
My darling, what matters is what hasn’t been.”
The good thing about the future, though, is that it holds infinite possibility. If you had told me four years ago that I would be where I am today, I honestly would not have believed you. My family and friends are wonderful and supportive, and they have been through so much with me, both heavy and light. I’m in a relationship that I never saw coming, but she blinded me like the first ray of light on a sunny morning; I wouldn’t trade her for anything this world has to offer. I’m working for the organization that changed my life. I have a college degree that I earned with honors. I’m strong. I’m caring. And I made it.
This is in no way a platform for me to boast. It’s just a chance for me to say that it got better. Yeah, I still wake up some days feeling down on myself. That monster under my bed still visits from time to time. I have no idea where I’ll be in the next five months, let alone the next five years, but I have realized that that’s OK. Where plans fail, opportunity blossoms. And opportunities can be really, really good.
“Hey now, we’re wide awake and we’re thinking
My darling, believe your voice can mean something.”
- Casey, TWLOHA Spring ‘15 Intern
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Strength will find you sooner than you ever though -it would-
Source: http://bella1410.deviantart.com/art/Quote-14-323901269
Lyrics from song “Waiting for the Sun to Shine” by The Maine
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“I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf”
“You are your own toughest critic.”
It’s a common phrase, one that’s been said to me many times – and for good reason. I’ve spent most of my life giving my heart to other people, but I haven’t saved much love for myself. I would beat myself up over little mistakes, take the blame for things I didn’t do, and apologize for being myself. I didn’t feel like I deserved love, so I pushed it away when people tried to give it to me.
Think about someone you love – maybe it’s a significant other, a sibling, or a friend. I bet there’s something really special about that person. Maybe it’s their thoughtfulness, their humor, or their wit. Just being around them makes you smile. What if we learned to love ourselves like we love our friends? Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
“Sometimes it’s hard, to follow your heart
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are”
“There is no one in the world quite like you.”
Another common phrase, but have you ever thought about how true it really is? I don’t know who you are, reader, but I can say one thing with 100% certainty: There is no other person on this planet quite like you. Your set of experiences, memories, dreams - they are what make you unique. You are your favorite songs, your favorite books, your favorite movies. You are more than your mistakes and your weaknesses.
This morning, I was driving from my friend’s apartment in Orlando to the TWLOHA office and thinking about writing a blog about self-love. I was an hour and a half into my drive when I realized I’d forgotten something. “Christina,” I said into the phone, “Did I leave my laptop at your apartment?” When she confirmed that my laptop was indeed in her living room, the first words to spill out of my mouth were, “Oh my gosh, I hate myself. I’m such an idiot.” I laughed as I said it, and I didn’t mean those things, of course, but it alarmed me how quickly those words came. After years of putting myself down, it’s a process to learn forgiveness. I have to continually remind myself that my mistakes are not representative of me as a whole.
“Don’t lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It’s okay not to be okay”
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” - Jack Kornfield
I once heard someone say, “When you start to feel bad about yourself, remember that there are billions of cells in your body, and they are all fighting to keep you alive.” You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be your own toughest critic. Be your own biggest advocate. Be your own friend.
- Rachel, TWLOHA Spring ’15 Intern
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You and me, we are going to realize that tomorrow is better than yesterday and that every step from here on out will be anything other than backwards. We are going to learn that bad days are not bad lives. We’ll see that tears are not stains, fears are not callings, and mistakes are not our future.
Katherine Henson,��“Bad Days Are Not Bad Lives” (via twloha)
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“In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.” - Buddha
Image via: The Huffington Post
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A self is not something static, tied up in a pretty parcel and handed to a child, finished and complete. A self is always becoming.
Madeleine L’Engle (via twloha)
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Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu
(via twloha)
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Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.
Maya Angelou
(via twloha)
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You are worth the time it takes to start something new. You are worth the possibility of failing and the strength found in starting again. You are worth the incredible feeling that comes when you accomplish something. You are worth it. You have always been worth it. Look at your life and ask yourself something: What will you run for?“
Casey Gillingham, “One Reason to Run” (via twloha)
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Love: it will not betray you, dismay, or enslave you. It will set you free.
Mumford & Sons
(via twloha)
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