choosing to forgive myself, choosing to return to love and compassion, choosing to let go of unhealthy coping mechanisms and move to healthier ones, choosing to stay alive. over and over and over again. as many times as it takes.

Living with my best friend!!! We survived being 16!!! And the world is bright!!! Love doesn’t die in the dark!!!

[You cannot hate yourself into becoming a person you love.]

Recovery isn't linear and it's okay to have backslides, be proud of yourself for the work you've done, even if it's work you've done before, and even if you have more work to do in the future. You are doing a good job, no matter what.

You know what? Fuck “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. Skinny feels like a pit in my stomach and nausea when I drink water. Skinny feels like being dizzy when I turn my head too fast. Skinny feels like restricting all day and then eating ice cream until I’m sick when I didn’t even want ice cream in the first place.

You know what feels better than that? Going to the gym not because I’ll lose weight but because I can feel myself getting stronger. Being able to play with my niece without getting lightheaded because I actually ate breakfast this morning. Getting a delicious, sugary coffee with a friend before going to a class that I’m actually going to be able to pay attention to. Eating pizza on the couch with my roommate. Wearing shorts in summer because they’re comfortable and it’s hot and I don’t care what my legs look like because they’re doing their job of carrying me around and that’s all they need to be doing.

I lost most of the last eight plus years to hating myself and trying to change my body by removing everything it needs to function. It doesn’t work, trust me. You might be skinny at the end of it, but nothing is gonna feel as good as it did before, and all you’re gonna be left with is a pit in your stomach.