stop

You know, when you try so hard to be okay, but you're not. Well I'm not and I am just allowing myself to fully accept that fact. I'm the biggest pretender you'll ever meet in your life. I'm an amazing actor. I fool everyone - even my own therapist. They all belive that the "bad thoughts" went away a long time ago. Fattest lie of the century, because they've never left. They've haunted me, followed me, secured me at times, talked to me, creeped me, robbed me. They're not gone. Who knows if they'll ever be. Fun fact, I've always known i have a short life line, but I don't expect it to be this short. I know how to control myself. Not to worry, but just sometimes my thoughts really get to me. It's sad you know. to have these feelings. It's sad for a girl like me of my likes, my passion (or ex-passion) to have these feelings. These feelings inhibit your sub-conscious whether it may be in music or else where....rest coming later

you never know

You never know who the bullied are. Many people have a stereotype that they are the "outcasts" or the "Weird freaks" at school, but that is barely true. Yes, that is a common bullying victim's profile but there are so many others who go unnoticed just because they don't fit the "victim" stereotype.  For instance I know a girl who is used to being friends with everyone but in the past month or so has been bullied. Yes, bullied. A popular (relative) girl being bullied! What a shocker! It is sad that society creates a generalization.   Because this girl is suffering too. Is in danger too, but is anyone paying attention or even noticing it? No. 

Rule of thumb: never expect the excpected. Seriously.

Nelson. this past weekend has given me a lot of time to reflect on my actions and my short-ish time on this earth, but what i am now sure of is that I need to get a  move on things. I need to work for the betterment of the world. For the freedom of the people. For the equality for all. Your work is endlessly good and inspirational. If only there were more people like you. You survived almost 3 decades in a cell and lived to work for the amelioration of the people around you and their corrupt society. You ended an apartheid. I salut you with many hands. Thank you so much for you. RIP Nelson Mandela

kristen wiig makes me feel better

so emotional. so dramatic. so good.

Did I tell you

I also suck at essays.

yay isn't that great!

So nice to know that I inherited all of my parents' writing skills!

(they're both professional writers)

nointerests.com

It's hard because I have no interests.

I used to love singing. dancing. acting. soccer. 

At this point, I don't even know what i like anymore. What interests me.

Seriously a scary feeling. 

Me

Here comes her guy.

The teddy bears.

Eternally alive.

Tuesday

It's an oldies kind of day. Will be posting a variety of "oldies" songs throughout the day.

real nice. 

We have decisions in life, but we ought to stay in the present. 

Happy Tuesday everyone.