I have a feeling blogs like yours are so funny because so many people try to send funny asks you become familiar with what a bad post looks like, stopping you from posting any ._.

Buddy before people sent me a billion asks what do u think I was doing? I was trial and erroring the internet, seeing what worked and what didn't, and boy howdy did some didn't.

“Lord Byron gets up at two. I get up, quite contrary to my usual custom … at 12. After breakfast we sit talking till six. From six to eight we gallop through the pine forest which divide Ravenna from the sea; we then come home and dine, and sit up gossiping till six in the morning. I don’t suppose this will kill me in a week or fortnight, but I shall not try it longer. Lord B.’s establishment consists, besides servants, of ten horses, eight enormous dogs, three monkeys, five cats, an eagle, a crow, and a falcon; and all these, except the horses, walk about the house, which every now and then resounds with their unarbitrated quarrels, as if they were the masters of it… . [P.S.] I find that my enumeration of the animals in this Circean Palace was defective … . I have just met on the grand staircase five peacocks, two guinea hens, and an Egyptian crane. I wonder who all these animals were before they were changed into these shapes.”

— Percy Bysshe Shelley on the lifestyle of Lord Byron (via timemarauder)

god I fucking love strawberries

I think a very important unwritten piece of locked tomb canon is that corona and ianthe are absolutely both writing home regularly to mummy throughout the entire series - not with any helpful plot points or anything, they just want pocket money. Their mother, hatefully running a planet that she also hates, has the knack of silently wiring pocket money in an incredibly nasty and hurtful way - despite not accompanying it with a note or anything - just a sort of careful psychic warfare involving timing, amounts of money, the transfer service, etc.

(Although at at one point she asks if one of them has Babs, or if he’s dead or what. Corona ghosts her and ianthe texts back “who”)

Anyway, breaking off your meeting with god or the rebels or whatever because mummy has just sent you $465.73 in THEE bitchiest possible way

more from my phone to your screens

"oh my gosh! you're unbelievable!i cant believe you actually did that-"

Sukuna follows you lazily as you stomp inside your shared apartment;high heels clicking angrily on the titled floor. He flicks the lights on and rolls his eyes when you throw your purse on the couch and turn toward him with your hands resting on your hips.

"what?"

"what?!" You ask, bewildered, "you have the tendency to ask what?!"

You throw your hands up in the air when he childishly crosses his arms around his chest and raises his brow at you.

"you fucking broke that guy's nose,Ryu!!!"

"so what,huh?" He says,voice deep and bored;it makes your eye twitch, "he was flirting with you."

"he was not!"

"oh,yes he was baby," and suddenly,his voice takes an angry turn, "did you seriously not realize how he was looking at you when i was right there?"

"I should've broken his fucking neck instead."

And you take a minute to calm down;after all, knowing your husband,he would take all night just to prove you he was right. So you just sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose.

"just..." You wave your hand, suddenly feeling exhausted, "let's stop. We both know nothing good will come from us arguing."

And Sukuna, without another word,walks past you to vanish inside the kitchen. You sigh again and open the bathroom door; turning on the water and staring at your weary form in the mirror.

Just as you're wondering how the fucking you're going to wipe your make up,the door opens and your husband walks in. He rests a glass of water by the sink and gestures to it by his chin.

"drink it. You'll get a headache later if you dont."

And silently,you comply while watching him rummage throw the cabinets and pulling out your makeup wipes. You tilt your head when he instructions you to,and as he gently starts cleaning your eyes,you swallow thickly. Which doesn't go unnoticed by your husband

"what is it now?"

You only shrug,and his face softens at you defeated expression . So he just cleans your face,and when you're done,he pulls you to his chest and rests his chin on top of your head

"sorry i got so angry earlier," you mumble against his chest and sigh.

There's a pause where Sukuna breaks it with a grunt.

"and I'm.." he huffs, "not sorry for punching that guy."

You giggle sleepily and nuzzle in his arms

"figures."

"i will punch more guys if they check you out too."

"fine fine," you huff and wrap your own arms around his neck, "can we go to sleep now?"

And without replying, Sukuna is swooping you up in his arms;and goes to your bedroom. As he lays down by your side,you immediately nuzzle close to his chest and let out a content sigh

"so you've forgiven me now?"

And you smile sleepily without opening your eyes.

"I'll decide when you make me breakfast tomorrow."

—a series for 8-12 year olds

"oh my gosh! you're unbelievable!i cant believe you actually did that-"

Sukuna follows you lazily as you stomp inside your shared apartment;high heels clicking angrily on the titled floor. He flicks the lights on and rolls his eyes when you throw your purse on the couch and turn toward him with your hands resting on your hips.

"what?"

"what?!" You ask, bewildered, "you have the tendency to ask what?!"

You throw your hands up in the air when he childishly crosses his arms around his chest and raises his brow at you.

"you fucking broke that guy's nose,Ryu!!!"

"so what,huh?" He says,voice deep and bored;it makes your eye twitch, "he was flirting with you."

"he was not!"

"oh,yes he was baby," and suddenly,his voice takes an angry turn, "did you seriously not realize how he was looking at you when i was right there?"

"I should've broken his fucking neck instead."

And you take a minute to calm down;after all, knowing your husband,he would take all night just to prove you he was right. So you just sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose.

"just..." You wave your hand, suddenly feeling exhausted, "let's stop. We both know nothing good will come from us arguing."

And Sukuna, without another word,walks past you to vanish inside the kitchen. You sigh again and open the bathroom door; turning on the water and staring at your weary form in the mirror.

Just as you're wondering how the fucking you're going to wipe your make up,the door opens and your husband walks in. He rests a glass of water by the sink and gestures to it by his chin.

"drink it. You'll get a headache later if you dont."

And silently,you comply while watching him rummage throw the cabinets and pulling out your makeup wipes. You tilt your head when he instructions you to,and as he gently starts cleaning your eyes,you swallow thickly. Which doesn't go unnoticed by your husband

"what is it now?"

You only shrug,and his face softens at you defeated expression . So he just cleans your face,and when you're done,he pulls you to his chest and rests his chin on top of your head

"sorry i got so angry earlier," you mumble against his chest and sigh.

There's a pause where Sukuna breaks it with a grunt.

"and I'm.." he huffs, "not sorry for punching that guy."

You giggle sleepily and nuzzle in his arms

"figures."

"i will punch more guys if they check you out too."

"fine fine," you huff and wrap your own arms around his neck, "can we go to sleep now?"

And without replying, Sukuna is swooping you up in his arms;and goes to your bedroom. As he lays down by your side,you immediately nuzzle close to his chest and let out a content sigh

"so you've forgiven me now?"

And you smile sleepily without opening your eyes.

"I'll decide when you make me breakfast tomorrow."

ೀ ׅ ۫ . 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐓 ? 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐑𝐘𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ! (𝒮𝒰𝒦𝒰𝒩𝒜 𝑅𝒴𝒪𝑀𝐸𝒩)

sukuna ryōmen x f!reader ﾉ 18+ content. ﾉ nsfw + unprotected sex / raw sex ﾉ rough sex ﾉ reader is in heat ﾉ huge size kink ﾉ creampie ﾉ slight tit play ﾉ slight dacryphilia ﾉ breeding kink ﾉ sukuna calls you 'mama' ﾉ mentions of having a baby ﾉ vaginal fingering ﾉ dildo ﾉ mdom + fsub ﾉ not proofread ! ૮Ꮚ ◞ ก ꒱১

never written 4 'kuna b4 ,, i had this on hold 4 a while, was jus . . rottin in my drafts 4 liek . . weeks . soooo i figured i shld finally finish it ! ^^ art credits go 2 @/NC9__ on twitter ♡ + ↻ are rlly appreciated ! !

You couldn't stop panting, the air around you humid and thick, heavy with the scent of your arousal. It was hard to concentrate, your mind foggy, your thoughts jumbled, your body overheating. Your skin was tingling, your stomach twisting in knots, a dull ache in your core. You were laying on your side, your body curled up, your hands gripping the sheets beneath you. The soft cotton of your shirt rubbed against your sensitive nipples, the friction causing a spark of pleasure to run through your veins, the muscles in your abdomen clenching, a moan slipping past your lips. Slick ran down your thighs as you squirmed, the girthy base of the toy buried inside of you making it impossible to move too much. Your walls were already fluttering around it, the stretch burning, your clit throbbing with every beat of your heart.

A low, guttural groan rumbled through the air, the bed dipping as the weight shifted, the mattress squeaking as Sukuna's large body moved closer. A rough, calloused hand cupped your ass, giving it a firm squeeze, causing you to whimper. "What's the matter, hm?" Sukuna's deep voice asked, his other hand sliding down the side of your leg, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. You whined, rolling over onto your back, your chest rising and falling rapidly. Your legs spread wider, exposing your dripping cunt, the tip of the toy poking out from between your folds. "R-ryyyooo.." You gasped, grabbing his arm, tugging on it, pulling him down until he was hovering above you. Your back arched, your breasts pressing against his chest, your arms wrapping around his neck, nails digging into his skin. "N-need you.." You whispered, pressing your face against his neck, nuzzling it, inhaling deeply. "Mmmh, please, please.." You begged, your teeth grazing over his pulse, nipping at his skin, tasting his sweat. "I-I can't wait anymore, I can't.." Sukuna's cock twitched at the desperate tone in your voice, his lips curling into a smirk. "M-maki-ing me wait… s' not fair.."

"You've waited this long, what's a little longer, angel?" He cooed, one hand moving down to stroke your inner thigh, the other gripping your chin, tilting it up so you were looking him in the eyes. Your lower lip quivered, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes, the ache in your core intensifying, the scent of his arousal overwhelming. "Please.." You pleaded, tears spilling from your eyes, your pussy clenching around the dildo inside you, your legs trembling. "D-dont want thi-this stupid thing.." You whined, reaching down and tugging on the end of the toy, the base stretching your entrance before popping out of you, leaving you feeling empty.

"Poor girl, so needy, so desperate.. ya just can't get enough, can you?" Sukuna growled, his hand moving to the back of your neck, squeezing it, his thumb brushing over your racing pulse. You bit your lip, shaking your head, a quiet moan slipping from between your lips. "C-can't.." You replied, squirming, your hips bucking. "Y-you do this to me.. only you.. y-your fault.. y-you made me like this.." You whimpered, grabbing his hand and guiding it between your legs, your eyes fluttering shut as he ran his fingers through your folds, rubbing circles on your clit. "Y-you make me wan-want this, need this.. make me crave your cock.. s-so big.. fill me up so good.." You mumbled, grinding against his hand, the pressure on your swollen bundle of nerves making your toes curl. "I-I can't- can't ever get enough.." You gasped, crying out when Sukuna's finger slid inside of you, the digit moving in and out, thrusting into you, making you mewl. Your cunt squeezed around it, a familiar pressure building in the pit of your stomach, your walls fluttering around his finger. "P-please, please.." You panted, writhing beneath him, your body covered in a thin sheen of sweat. "Please, need more..n-need more..need you..inside me.." Your words trailed off into a strangled cry when Sukuna pushed another finger into you, a loud squelch filling the room, arousal oozing out of your cunt, coating his hand.

Sukuna's pupils dilated, a low growl rumbling from deep within his chest, his breathing becoming ragged, his nostrils flaring. He pulled his fingers out of you, grabbing the dildo and tossing it off the bed, the pathetic replacement for his cock landing with a thud on the floor. His gaze dropped down, his tongue swiping over his lips as he watched your hole twitch, the rim puffy and red. "Fucking gorgeous.." He breathed, his hands moving to the front of his boxers, shoving them down, freeing his erection. Venous, thick, throbbing, his cock was a beautiful sight, the tip shiny with precum. "Open up, angel." He said, grabbing your thighs, spreading your legs wide open, pushing them back until they were pressed against your chest, your pussy on full display. Sukuna held onto the backs of your knees, lining the tip of his cock up with your dripping entrance. You gasped, your nails clawing at his biceps, a desperate sob escaping you when he pressed forward, the head of his cock pushing into you, stretching you open, velvety smooth heat enveloping him.

Your back arched, the breath knocked out of you, your body seizing up as the pain from being filled by his huge cock radiated through you. Sukuna bottomed out, the thickest part of his length buried deep inside you, his balls pressed against your ass. Your walls rippled around him, a visible bulge displaying the outline of his cock on your stomach. You whimpered, trembling, fat tears running down the sides of your face, your body struggling to accommodate his size. "Y-you're so big, Ryo, s-so big..!" You sobbed, the burning stretch too much, the pressure too intense, your mind fogging over, a primal urge taking over, urging you to submit to him, to let him use you, to take everything he had to give. "S-so full..I-I'm g-gonna breaaakk!" A crackle of pure pleasure raced up your spine, stars dancing in your vision. Though it definitely hurt, it was a good pain, an addictive sensation that sent your head spinning, leaving you craving more, craving the blissful release of a powerful orgasm.

"Yer not gonna break. I'm gonna take care of you, sweetheart, don't you worry about a thing.." Sukuna purred, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs. "Just relax, that's it, take a deep breath.. Ryo's gonna make ya a mess, baby." His crimson eyes glimmered with excitement, his teeth bared, his expression animalistic, almost feral. A deep, possessive rumble vibrated in his chest, a carnal desire coursing through his veins, his mind hazy, his control slipping like it always did whenever you were in heat. His hips pulled back, his cock sliding out of you halfway before thrusting back in, his movements slow and steady. The pain slowly subsided, the burning fading into an exquisite sensation, euphoria rushing through your veins. "O-oh-! Nnngh-ahhh, ahh, R-Ry-yo..!" The rapid movement of his hips forced you up the bed, the headboard hitting the wall repeatedly as your bodies rocked together, the wet sounds of sex filling the room. You were delirious, a constant stream of moans pouring from your mouth, drool leaking from the corner of your lips, your body moving in tandem with his. "Fuckin' perfect, mama, so fucking perfect, ya feel so fuckin' good.. fuckin' hell.." He moaned, his eyes never leaving yours, his gaze locked on you. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him either, his beauty captivating you, your heart skipping a beat every time his cock plunged into you. "I-I l-love y-yooouu.." You whispered, a choked cry leaving your throat when his tip rubbed against your g-spot, sending a shockwave through your system, pleasure exploding in your brain.

You were lost in the ecstasy, the intensity of it all driving you mad, your thoughts scattered. You felt feverish, delirious, dizzy, drunk off of the way he fucked you, the way he took complete control. "I love you, too, angel.. so fucking much.. ya make me so fuckin' happy, yer mine, all mine.." His nails scraped against your skin, the pain bringing you back down to reality. You nodded weakly, your cunt clamping down on him, your whole body going rigid, your toes curling. "O-oh, Ryo-o..I-I'm..I'm-! S-so close, m'so-oo, m'close..m'gonna-a-ah!" Your orgasm was building fast, a coil of pleasure winding tightly in the pit of your stomach. "S-so c-c-close..p-pleasepleasepleasepleaaaase.." You couldn't help but plead and beg, needing that extra push, that final little thing to send you careening over the edge. "G-gonna c-cu-u-m.." Sukuna smirked, his thrusts becoming deeper, harder, more precise. "M'sure ya are, mama.." He teased, his hand leaving your thigh and sliding up your stomach, his palm cupping your breast, his fingers rolling your nipple. You yelped, your whole body shaking, a high pitched whine coming out of you when his tongue darted out, licking a stripe up your throat. "M'gonna cum, too, sweetheart. Gonna pump ya full of my seed, knock ya up, breed ya till yer round.." He growled, his breath hot against your skin, his teeth nipping at your collarbone. "S-shit..m'so fuckin' close, angel.."

You keened, his words making the tension in your abdomen snap, your walls clenching, convulsing, milking his cock as your orgasm hit. "O-ohhh, o-oh god..! Ry-yo-oo.. f-fuck, fuck, fuccckk..!!" Your back arched, your legs locking around his waist, your heels digging into his back. A loud, guttural roar ripped from his throat as he came, his cock pulsating, hot sticky cum flooding your insides. The feeling of his seed spilling inside you sent a thrill down your spine, the knowledge that he had bred you making you feel satisfied and content. You slumped against the pillows, panting heavily, the aftershocks of your orgasm still tingling through your body, a few whimpers leaving you. Sukuna's thrusts slowed to a halt, his hips stilling as he rode out his high, his grip on you loosening. His cock slipped out of you, the head of it resting against your pussy lips. Your mixed fluids spilled out of you, coating the insides of your thighs, creating a puddle beneath you. Sukuna pressed his forehead against yours, a small smile forming on his lips, his crimson eyes twinkling. He placed a soft kiss to your lips, his nose bumping against yours. "Love ya, mama.." He mumbled, his voice hoarse, his hands caressing your thighs, soothing the sore muscles. "Our baby's gonna be so beautiful.. just like its mother.."

i still think about "aye moira am oan the protein" way too often

synth fellas I am selling my octatrak mk2 black version for 1200 on here, that's like 300 off or something, come n get it if u want it!! it's mint it's mint!! I am selling it cause I wanna fund some other things u know how it goes I want a lota expensive equipment.

in god we thrust

sorry about the blood loss. do you uh. want it back *holds out my red dripping hands awkwardly*