thenerdnoah-blog
jet pack blues
Noah Robertson, soon to be sophomore at Degrassi. I'm an addict for love. ♑ January 5th, 1999 ♑
109 posts
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Conversation
text: beanstalk
Chad: me too
Chad: i guess im kinda excited but idk
Chad: ur gonna be all busy when school starts which sucks /:
Noah: you should be!!!
Noah: im sorry squirt :(
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Conversation
text: beanstalk
Chad: im probably still gonna look the same haha
Chad: no shame
Chad: i hope it is!!
Noah: i'll look like a garbage dump instead of a small trashcan
Noah: now THATS a transformation
Noah: im excited though
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Conversation
text: beanstalk
Chad: did you hear about registration?!?!?
Chad: oh god
Chad: i thought i wouldnt care but im not ready!!!
Chad: SOS
Noah: RIP
Noah: I'm gonna look amazing for my picture finally
Noah: this year its gonna be different B)
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chad-stein:
If Noah hadn’t seen the tears, she probably wouldn’t have even known he was crying. They were silent tears, and they continued to fall as Noah scooted closer to Chad and wrapped her arms around him.
It was comforting to have Noah right there with him, but there was still so much running through his mind. She knew. Chad felt, exposed. One of his biggest secrets was now revealed. Chad sniffled, then he forced himself to speak.
“Please don’t tell anyone.”
His voice was shaky and watery sounding, but he didn’t care at that point. He couldn’t have her telling anyone; what would happen? Where would he go? Where would his dad go?
“He’d be so mad at me,” the smaller boy added, a small sob following after.
There was a little dent in Noah’s plan, however.
Chad didn’t want her to tell anyone, but Noah knew she had to. He wasn’t safe at his house, and she needed him to. Noah had to protect him, at any costs.
“I won’t,” she lied seamlessly, and continued to rub Chad’s back slowly. She kept her chin resting on his head, and she let out a sigh. She hated lying to him- but it was for the best, Chad was a abuse victim.
“Trust me, it’ll all get better,” she whispered softly, and then held him against her tighter. It had to, with what she had planned. Chad would be safe soon enough, but it’ll take time.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Nothing was worse than the fake strength Noah was holding up for Chad. It was so obvious she was trying to stay strong for him, and he wished she wouldn’t. It made him feel more sick than he already felt.
She asked him another question, and he couldn’t find his voice to answer. Every part of his body completely froze, his mind going back to the day where he’d gotten that exact bruise. That day he wanted to see Noah days ago- his dad had pushed him to the ground and kicked him once or twice. It wasn’t the first time he’d done that, though.
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. What was he supposed to say? He couldn’t even find his own voice to answer, to even stutter something. Instead, a shaky breath escaped his lips, and he felt a few tears fall out of his eyes. Then, they wouldn’t stop.
Before Noah could really see him crying, he pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face in them, wrapping his arms around his legs. He probably looked so fragile and small, but he was. And now, Noah knew that.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke again in-between tears, not bringing his head up. He couldn’t bring himself to do it.
Chad answered her question, without using words.
Instead, he started crying, and Noah felt the anger in her get worse, but she tried to turn it into protectiveness. It was like Chad had curled up in a ball, and Noah scooted closer to him, pulling him into her chest- wrapping her arms around him, holding him close. “Hey, don’t be sorry,” she assured him, feeling her eyes get watery at seeing her friend like this, but she wouldn’t cry.
“It’s okay, you’re here with me, okay?” She whispered softly, as she started drawing circles slowly on his back.
Noah was focusing on her breathing as her mind race with what she had to do. She had to do something. Chads’ home environment wasn’t safe, at all, and she needed to do something. Taking a deep breath, she quickly made a plan- one she’d have to think more about later, but right now all she managed to figure out was.
Once school start, she’d tell her counselor.
“It’s okay, it’ll be okay,” she whispered again, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. She hoped he’d be okay.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
As soon as Noah pulled away from the hug, Chad looked at the girl in the eyes and saw the worry, and Chad almost flinched again. There was so much regret filling his brain, it was absolutely ridiculous; why did he flinch? He’d dealt with much more pain than that without even a slight flinch, but just a hug made him flinch that bad?
A part of him felt like he did it on purpose, for her to find out, but he ignored that thought. That would just be pathetic.
Then, Noah said his name shakily, and Chad felt his heart sink inside his chest. This was his fault- he shouldn’t have flinched. Now, she’d be in pain. He didn’t want that.
And then, she asked the question he was waiting for.
“I-I uh,” he began to stutter, scooting away from her slightly, as if being too close to her would make her find out. He felt like he was about to have a panic attack; his heart was racing, and his throat felt like it was getting tight. Hell, he was surprised he was even breathing.
“I-I have a, bruise,” he finally admitted slowly, gulping as he waited for the female’s response, worry filling his own eyes
Noah was making herself breath steady, as she awaited Chad’s response. Although, when it came, Noah was still heartbroken. He stuttered, and it cut through Noah like blades. When he finally managed to choke out what was wrong, she tried to hold back her anger that was forming in the pit of her stomach.
Chad couldn’t have just gotten a bruise just randomly and made a big deal out of it- Noah knew that. If it was from something silly, he wouldn’t be reacting like this. And everything was falling into place in Noah’s mind. Connecting the dots, she knew where he got that bruise, even though she didn’t want to believe it.
“Chad,” she said again, and held her head up high.
“Where did you get the bruise?”
She knew, but she just had to be sure. Noah had to be sure on this, because if she did something with it be falsely accused, people could get in trouble.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
The regret Chad had for showing his sadness was boiling in the pit of his stomach as Noah walked over toward him to give him a hug.
Don’t get him wrong, he’d love a hug from Noah; he wasn’t sure why, but Noah gave some pretty great hugs, and at first, Chad wanted the hug. However, as soon as the girl’s body was pressed up against his, Chad felt his entire body flinch in pain- she had pressed her body right where one of his bruises were, one that had yet to heal.
It was a pretty obvious flinch, and he knew that, but he still forced himself to wrap his arms around her, to play it off and see if she noticed. But deep down, he knew she noticed. He knew her too well.
But it didn’t hurt to try.
It was like the hug had hurt Chad- but hugs weren’t supposed to hurt. Under her embrace, Noah felt Chad flinch, and even more worry flooded her brain. After a couple seconds more of the hug, she pulled back slowly, and looked at him intently- eyes wide, and filled with concern. Something was wrong, he wasn’t supposed to flinch- he never flinched, ever. Unless, he was hurt.
Noah’s mind instantly went back to Chad talking about his dad, and then all the things he said about his house- and Noah felt her heart break, even more.
“Chad,” she spoke slowly, her voice shaking only slightly, as she tried to stay strong for him. Tilting her head slightly, she wondered why he flinched? That question swam in her head faster than her heart beat, and she took a deep breath. She kind of smiled nervously, scared of what his answer would be when she managed to ask him a simple question.
“W-Why’d you flinch?”
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Noah continuing to mention Chad’s house made his stomach churn, and he closed his eyes for a moment. She had to be onto him; that was the only reason why she was continuing to talk about his house so much. There was no way in hell she’d be able to go to his house, unless he was positive his dad wouldn’t be there. Even then, though, his apartment was, well, trashy. Almost ghetto.
He didn’t want her to see him differently.
“Yeah, I don’t think my dad would like that,” he trailed off. He didn’t even want to mention his dad, because it was practically a dead giveaway, but how else could he get her off his back?
He muttered a soft, ‘sorry’, feeling a little bad that she couldn’t come over, because he really would want her to come over in a different situation. In his situation now, though, he’d rather anything happen than her coming over.
He flipped a card over and quietly moved his piece three spaces, then glanced up at Noah again.
Noah was definitely on the right track.
Although, watching Chad’s mood drop so low really made Noah feel upset- and she was causing this, indirectly. Then he mentioned his dad wouldn’t like it, and she looked at him cautiously. Racking her brain for a quick answer, she guessed his dad was probably a part of whatever the mysterious problem was.
Then after he spoke, he let out a little and quiet sorry, and Noah felt her heart shatter to pieces. “Oh, Chad-” she began, and when he was done moving his piece she got up and went over to him. “I’m sorry for prying,” she said softly, and then brought him in for a hug.
She pressed her body against his, and rubbed his back slightly. She hated seeing him so sad, and she felt like she caused all of this. “I’m so sorry, okay?” She whispered softly, and rested her head on his shoulder.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Chad could see the shock in Noah’s eyes when the boy drew a two, and Chad smiled, satisfied. Chad wasn’t really a competitive type, but he was pretty sure Noah was.
Noah mocked Chad, throwing a game piece at him, and he couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. This was exactly what he needed right then: fun. Noah knew exactly how to make him laugh.
Noah seemed pretty disappointed when she pulled a three, and Chad made sure to stick his tongue out at her playfully. The way they teased each other was the best part of their friendship, especially because they both knew they were just fucking around.
However, as Chad began to draw the next card, Noah mentioned how she’d never been to his house, and Chad felt his entire body freeze in its tracks. The card was halfway flipped over, and his eyes widened slightly.
Oh, god, she’d onto me. Is it that obvious? How could she have found that out?
Focus, Chad, don’t make it anymore obvious.
Chad flipped the card completely over, letting a nervous-sounding chuckle escape his lips. This card had a five on it, so Chad moved his same piece five spaces.
“Trust me, you don’t wanna go to my place,” he scoffed, glancing up at the girl, “there’s nothing to do there. Plus, you have more food.”
It would have been convincing if it weren’t for the nervous glances and the way he froze just moments before.
“Your turn.”
As soon as Noah mentioned Chad’s house, she noticed him stopping in his movement, and it was like there was a light bulb above Noah’s head turning on. Something wasn’t right at his house, Noah figured and titled her head- listening to Chad try and explain why they never went there. Noah nodded her head slowly, and let out a little ‘mhmm’. Although, she couldn’t help but notice how now he just seemed like he was on edge. Worry manifested itself in Noah, and she tried her hardest not to attack him with questions- she just needed to know if she was right, first.
Then it was Noahs turn, and she pulled a card from the pile- thank god, it was a two. She set one of her pieces out of the start zone, and then titled her head. “Well I mean, we could always find something do- and, I could bring snacks and shit- it’d be cool. We could play an intense game of hide and seek, eh?” She grinned deviously, as she sat back to let Chad take his turn.
“It’d be fun, don’t you think? We could watch a couple films, eat our weight in popcorn and just chill,” Noah suggested, and carefully watched how the boy was going to react, “I think I really wanna do that. We should really do that soon- I’d love it, you know?”
Oh, she hoped she was on the right track.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Chad watched as Noah set up the game, grabbing the red pieces for herself, and he rolled his eyes as she took a picture of the game. She was always taking pictures and posting everything online; Chad always found it pretty strange.
He listened closely as she explained the game, and he nodded his head a few times. It seemed pretty simple. Turning his body slightly, he slid off the bed to sit down on the floor across from Noah, the board game in-between them. When she asked him to start, he shrugged his shoulders, then pulled a card, seeing it had a two on it. Taking one of his pieces, he allowed one of his green pieces to move two spaces from the start, then looking up at Noah.
“Doesn’t seem to bad,” he said with a slight smile.
It was pure beginners luck, that’s what it was. As soon as Chad drew a two, Noah looked at him with wide eyes. But then, he said it wasn’t so bad and Noah decided to mimic him, “Oh, it doesn’t seem to bad,” Noah chuckled, and then threw a blue game piece at Chad as she flashed him a wide smile. But then it was her turn, so she drew a card and when she looked at it-
Three.
“Fuck,” she muttered under her breath, and then let out a laugh. Okay, she couldn’t get mad- it was just a game. So, she couldn’t get a piece out of her start zone, but there was always the next round. “Your turn,” she said slowly, lowkey upset that she didn’t get to move.
“You know what? I’m surprised I haven’t gone to your house yet, huh.” She thought out loud, thinking about what they could be doing there- probably not playing Sorry! Maybe it was because she always had a lot of food in her house, Noah thought-
Yeah, it was probably that.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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Photo
@nerdynoahaf: sorry with squirt aka @frankenchad #bestfriends #hesaloser #likeme #justminusthelesbian #gay
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chad-stein:
It was obvious Noah was upset- sh seemed to only have short answers, and she had that look in her eyes. He felt so guilty, but what could he do? If he did tell her, she couldn’t do anything. It would just make her more sad that she couldn’t help him. All he really wanted was his best friend, his escape.
Chad frowned, watching Noah sadly walk over to her closet, assuming she was looking for a game of some sort. He saw the game Sorry, and Chad nodded, despite the face he’d never played it before. He’d do anything to make Noah feel better.
Chad shifted on the bed so he was laying on his stomach, but able to see the game on the floor. He kept giving Noah small glances, and she continued to sigh and look at him with the sad eyes, and Chad felt guilt boiling in the pit of his stomach.
“Green,” Chad spoke, giving Noah a small smile back. The mood between them had changed drastically, but he’d try his best to bring it back up.
“I, don’t know how to play this, though,” he admitted, looking at Noah again.
“Okay, I call red then,” Noah grinned and put the cards that came with the game in the middle of the board, and before she started putting the pieces on the board, she grabbed her phone and took a quick picture. Then after a couple seconds, she uploaded the picture to Instagram and then grinned.
“Okay well the object of the game is simple, you want to get your pieces to the safe zone, while going clockwise, and the cards tell you how many places to go. You want to try and land on other peoples spaces, so you send them back to the start- and to get out of start you have to draw a one or a two. Make sense?”
Noah grinned, as she placed her four pawn pieces on the start place, and then looked up at Chad on her bed. “Get on the floor squirt, play me with,” she gave him a fake pout and then leaned back.
“How about you go first?”
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Chad instantly noticed the worry and hesitation in Noah’s eyes, and Chad instantly felt bad for her. He didn’t want to worry her, but what else was he supposed to do? Besides, he had no better excuses at the top of his head. Maybe he should start thinking of some now to use for other times.
Chad criss-crossed his legs as he sat on Noah’s bed, only giving Noah short glances from time to time. He didn’t want her to find out; he’d be so humiliated. It made him seem weak, and he definitely didn’t need sympathy.
After she finished rambling about Chad’s problems, his eyes finally met hers, and he nodded his head a few times. “Of course I would. I mean, you’re my best friend.” He gave her a small smile. Technically, he wasn’t lying- everything was fine. Right?
“Don’t worry about me,” Chad finally spoke, scooting a bit closer to the female and lightly patting her arm. “I’m fine, trust me. Now, what should we do?” He asked, trying to get off topic as soon as he could. He was starting to get anxious.
Noah looked at Chad and gave him a small smile, not satisfied with the answer. Although, she did nothing about it, and when Chad brought up what they should do again, Noah let out a long sigh and shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t know,” she said blatantly, and then slid off her bed to walk over to her closet, looking for her abundance of board games. Although, she couldn’t stop thinking about Chad telling her not to worry. Noah honestly couldn’t stop worrying. Chad meant a lot to her, and she needed to be sure he was fine. “But I do worry, though,” she muttered under her breath, just barely above a whisper as her eyes landed on Sorry.
“Why don’t we play this?” She pulled the game out of her closet and showed it to the guy, “It’s fun.” Noah smiled as she sat down on the floor and put it down. She let out a long, and obvious sigh- glancing at Chad for a second before she started taking everything out- slowly.
She was obviously bothered by what they talked about, but she was trying to push it past her- even if she just had to plan to get it out of him later.
“Red,“ she spoke slowly, “Blue,” a breath, “Yellow, or- green?” She looked at him and gave him a small smile.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Chad pretty much assumed there were no real plans for them, since the decision to come over was so random and unplanned, but that didn’t make Chad any less excited. He was sure they would still have a ton of fun.
Nodding his head, Chad followed the female up the stairs, knowing exactly where they were headed. He rolled his eyes as she said her room was messy, seeing it was practically spotless, but he didn’t point out the obvious; if she thought it was messy, then that was her issue.
Chad sat his backpack down on the floor against a wall, then slid off his shoes, glancing at Noah and seeing she was scrolling mindlessly through her phone. That was the only real difference between Chad and Noah- Noah was brainwashed by the many social network sights available, while Chad never really used social media much. Granted, he did have a very crappy phone, so it wasn’t too easy to use the websites and apps that were available.
He began to walk over toward Noah’s bed to sit beside the girl, but he sort of stopped when she asked what he’d been up to. Gulping slightly, he went over to her bed and sat beside her, quickly trying to rack his brain of excuses to use for why he’d been quiet for a few days.
“Well, as you know, I just finished with summer school,” he spoke in a proud-like tone, looking at the girl with a smile. “So finals were a bit overwhelming, but now I can finally relax.” Although, that wasn’t how he really felt. In reality, he wished summer school would have lasted longer; it kept him out of the house for at least half the day. Now, he was almost always home.
He did know that Noah wouldn’t buy just that as his excuse, though; she was much smarter than that.
Noah kept her eyes on Chad, as he walked over to her bed, and she raised her eyebrows at him when he stopped for a second. Something felt off, Noah decided, and then bit the inside of her cheek to keep from asking Chad what was up. When he finally answered her though, it was like red flags for Noah as she painted a mental timeline in her head of the dates of all things Chad. There was a gap between the end of summer school, and where they were now- if he didn’t realize that. So, Noah nodded her head slowly, and let out a little, “Oh, okay.”
But then she stared at Chad, and she stared at him hard. Something was definitely up, and she knew that now- but she was essentially clueless at what was wrong.
“You’d tell me if something was bothering you- right?” She spoke slowly, trying to just say it as if it meant nothing- but in her head she was practically screaming, asking Chad what was wrong. She grabbed her phone, but still kept her gaze falling back to the boy next to her. “Like- girl problems, boy problems, health problems. Anything?” She shrugged slightly and started looking at her home screen on her phone, pretending to do something.
“Like I get that school is stressful, trust me- but I mean, what’s to stress about in the week after summer school? “ She was dancing on the subject, trying to hint that she knew something was up, even though she’d only touch the subject as a ballerina on the tips of her toes.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
It didn’t take long for the front door to open, revealing a smiling Noah, causing Chad to smile, as well. He really needed to hang out with her, for he hadn’t really smiled in a few days, now.
Nodding his head once, he stepped inside the house, listening to her introduction, even though he had been to her house a few times before. Mostly when she would tutor him, but all the same.
“Aw, man, I already had dying in my agenda for the night,” Chad spoke in an over-dramatic disappointing tone, looking at Noah with a slight pout.
It was a bit strange being at Noah’s house this time with no one else home. Usually at least one of her parents, or her brother, would be there, but now it felt like they had a lot more freedom. Although, he was almost positive they’d end up just watching a movie or just staying up talking all night; they weren’t very adventurous people.
“So, beanstalk,” Chad spoke, turning his body so he was completely facing the female. “If dying is taken off the agenda, what’s going to be on it instead?” It was nice how easily his mood went up when he was around Noah.
“Oh shut up,” Noah let out a laugh, and then shut the door behind them. Then Chad asked her what she had planned, and she let out a long sigh. “Actually, I have no idea- but we’ll figure it out soon enough, won’t we?” Noah perked up, and then started going up to her room, Chad following behind her.
Once they got up to her room, she looked around and then turned to Chad. “Sorry it’s kind of messy,” she apologized and then jumped onto her bed. “You can put your stuff where ever, you know the drill man.” She laughed and then grabbed her phone, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. Although, she kept looking up at Chad, and when she got through a couple posts a question surfaced in her mind.
“So uh Chad, whatcha been up too?” She asked casually and then threw her phone beside her and let out a little laugh, patting a seat next to her on her bed. “Come sit, squirt and tell me all about your busy life so I pretend I was there with you, because currently I have no life.”
Noah giggled at herself, but waited for Chad’s answer.
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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chad-stein:
Technically, this was what Chad was supposed to be doing days ago- getting ready to go to Noah’s. Days ago, they were practically having this same conversation, and Chad was actually getting ready to go there, until there was a slight interruption: his father.
After living with his dad for awhile now, Chad knew how to get around his dad. Stay quiet, do as he wished, don’t argue, and don’t act scared or strange. It wasn’t too hard, but there were times when even those steps failed to keep him safe. When his father found him getting ready to leave, he got mad, and then Chad had to face the consequences. It took him up until about today to heal from them.
Since his dad was asleep at the moment, though, he knew he could sneak out without him knowing a thing.
He had a backpack on his back with a change of clothes and his phone charger, and quietly, he walked through his apartment to the front door, his dad snoring while spread across the couch, asleep. He always fell asleep on the couch after drinking.
Opening the door quietly, Chad exited the apartment and practically ran down the steps, walking out of the complex and toward Noah’s neighborhood, which was about a twenty minute walk.
He was excited, for he needed a nice distraction- an escape.
The walk was quite relaxing, and when he got to Noah’s home, he rang the doorbell and took a step back. He was about to stuff his hands in his pockets, until he remembered that he was already in his pajama pants. So, he just let his arms dangle at his sides, waiting patiently for someone to answer the door.
Noah laid sprawled across her bed, a bag of chips placed right at her side, as she stared at the TV across the room. Summer time was really the only time she ever watched TV, because while school was going on work was the only thing running through her mind. So now, she could relax and binge watch almost anything that interested her on Netflix- but it was very addicting. Holding the remote in one hand, and her phone in another, she contemplated pressing the arrow on the remote to go to the next episode of 90210.
Shutting her eyes, she let out a sigh as he tossed the remote away from her, and then shoved her hand into the bag of popped potato chips. Noah shoved some in her mouth, and then brought her phone up to her face to read over the last couple of texts from Chad. She hadn’t talked to him in a while, so when she finally did she expressed her concern. Although, all he said was that he was busy, and Noah felt relieved- he wasn’t ignoring her or anything.
He should be on his way too, Noah remembered, and then looked down at what she was wearing- just a tank top and some shorts. Sitting up slowly, Noah looked over towards her closet and thought about changing- but it was Chad; he wouldn’t care what she wore- even if she had worn the same thing for like a day or two. Letting out a sigh, Noah got off her bed and walked over to her closet, and then switched out her old clothes for a Degrassi sweater, that was one size too big- but super comfy, and a pair of cleaner shorts.
And right on time too, because Noah heard the doorbell ring. Swiftly, she raced out of her room and downstairs to the front door. She stood still there for a couple seconds, and then grinned to herself at the thought of hanging out with Chad, after a while of disconnection. Opening the door, she feasted her eyes upon the squirt and she smiled.
“Welcome to casa del Robertson,” Noah welcomed him as she stepped aside to let him in, “Mom and dad are out working tonight, and Brandon’s at a friends house, so if one of us dies I’m gonna be held responsible- so try not to die.”
{escape from reality} chad&noah
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Conversation
text: squirt
Chad: don't worry young beanstalk, I'm alive
Chad: hey that'd be awesome! when should I head over?
Noah: bless
Noah: asap pls. netflix is begging me to click next episode
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