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thelavenderbunnie · 7 months

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Head First

j.m.k. x f.reader

part one

a/n: i had an idea for a little josh blurb inspired by this lizzie mcalpine song and i’ve decided to make it into a short series! friends to lovers josh is always my favorite, i hope you guys like it!! the next part will be current day...

summary: You and Josh grew up next door to each other, spending almost your entire life together. He was your closest friend, and that’s how it had always been. One summer, the two of you attend a music festival with your group of friends and a switch seems to flip for him that day, hurling you head first into a weekend of surprises. It feels as though everything has finally fallen into place, but young love is not always meant to last...

word count: 7.9k

warnings: this story contains smut! minors DNI!!! swearing, drinking, flirting, yearning, nicknames, sexually implicit language, heavy petting, kissing; SMUT: oral sex (f. and m. receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v sex (WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT, Y'ALL), praise kink if you squint i guess, dirty talk, soft dom! josh, fluff at the end! aftercare always!

JULY 2019

“Guys, seriously, come on. We were supposed to leave over half an hour ago!” you yell from the bottom of the stairs. You get no response, so you scoff, storm up the steep stairs to the hallway, and look around for movement. You see the bathroom door cracked open and walk over to push it open, revealing Josh still fixing his curly hair in the mirror.

You roll your eyes and clear your throat to get his attention, causing him to look over at you. “Oh, hey honey,” he says, giving you a sheepish smile. “Josh, it’s almost 8:30! If we don’t leave now, then we won’t have any time to get ready before we have to go down to the festival! You can fix your hair more when we get to the hotel, please,” you plead, making a praying motion with your hands, and giving him the biggest puppy eyes you can manage.

“Yes yes, I know, I’m sorry. I’ll help you round up the rest of them, okay?” he says, taking one last look in the mirror before turning the light off and heading down to the other end of the hallway. Josh breaks off first to enter his room and find his equally tardy twin, who’s still asleep. You giggle as you hear him yell at his brother to wake up, followed by a loud startled scream from Jake.

You enter Sam’s room to find him lying on his bed scrolling through his phone while Daniel is playing the guitar lightly. “Hello? What are you two doing? Come on, get up, let’s go!” you scold them, making Sam jump out of his seat. Danny chuckles to himself as he gets up to put his guitar back in its case.

They gather their packed bags and file out of the room, heading down the stairs. As you return to the hallway, you see Josh and his seemingly exhausted twin exiting the room. Jake descends the stairs with a groan as Josh follows closely behind him, shooting you a wink before he disappears.

Finally, you all finish packing the car and can finally get on the road. The five of you were heading to the Cosmic Sound Festival down in Detroit, something you and Josh planned months ago. The drive was just under 2 hours, so you were still able to get to the hotel in time to change and get ready before you had to be at the grounds for the first set at 12, or so you hoped. You feel grateful that this break in their tour allowed for you all to go to the festival together, as the time you spent together these days was few and far between.

“I call shotgun!” you shout, hurrying to open the door before one of the others beats you to it. “Hey, that’s not fair, Smalls! You always get shotgun!” Sam yells from behind you.

You roll your eyes and turn around to face him. “Yeah, because why would I ever want to be crammed in the back with you idiots? No, thanks. I’m good up here with Josh,” you reply, sticking your nose up at him and smiling proudly before getting into the car and closing the door. Josh shrugs and laughs lightly before getting into the driver’s side, with the rest of the boys following suit and getting into their seats.

Josh turns the car on and rolls the windows down to feel the cool summer breeze. “Ready, Saph?” he says, turning his head to look at you with a wide, crooked smile. His nickname for you never fails to make you smile. He had that effect on you, as he did with a lot of people. He first gave you the nickname in the fourth grade, after you’d learned about different types of gemstones in science class.

The two of you were walking out of the classroom to go to lunch as you turned to look at Josh. “I think rose quartz might be my favorite. They’re so pretty. Which one was your favorite?” you asked. He thought about it for a moment and said, “Sapphire. They’re so blue, and they’re valuable. Pretty, too.” You nodded and smiled at him, then turned your attention back to walking to the lunchroom.

“You’re like a sapphire, you know,” he continued. You looked back up at him with a questioning look. He pointed and said, “Your eyes, they’re the bluest I’ve ever seen. And pretty. Like a sapphire.” You blushed and looked away, not really knowing what to say. “I think I’ll call you Sapphire,” he said. You looked back up at him and smiled timidly. “Okay.”

The nickname has stuck ever since, though it’s almost always shortened. But it’s just his, and that’s what makes it special. Josh was your best friend in the whole world, as well as your longest friend. The Kiszkas were your next-door neighbors your entire life, and you all became friends practically right away. Being the same age as the twins, your mother would bring you over to their house at a very young age, so the three of you grew up together.

Watching Sam grow up and meeting Danny was something you always felt very thankful for. You had the best group of friends that you could ever ask for, who loved and cared for you like you were their own flesh and blood. You also got to watch as the music they made in their garage late on school nights became something much more.

You spent endless nights lying on the battered old couch in the Kiszkas’ garage as the four of them played together. Jake had always played guitar for as long as you could remember and Josh always loved singing, performing in the school musicals with you every year.

But near the end of high school, you watched as Jake’s dream became their collective dream and they started playing gigs around town and in other close cities. Before you knew it, they would make music that would reach thousands of people and tour places all around the world.

Admittedly, you fear for the day that the band gets even bigger than it is now, knowing that they’ll have to leave you. Your whole life was here in Michigan, and you knew that one day their journey would take them much further than here. You help your father run his business in Frankenmuth now, an old music store, where you sell instruments and sometimes teach lessons when he’s busy. You were needed here, and you knew that the guys wouldn’t be able to stay here forever.

For now, their home was still in Michigan, despite their time being taken up by near-constant touring and writing new music. They were just gone for several months on tour and will be returning to touring at the beginning of fall, so now is the chance to spend time with them.

Josh knew how much you missed them when they were away, so he tried to fill up your time this summer with as many activities as possible. He was always thoughtful in the way he planned things, wanting to get the most out of any experience.

“Ready,” you reply with a smile, plugging your phone in to connect to the aux. You press shuffle on your road trip playlist and Got To Get You Into My Life by the Beatles comes on first. “Ah, perfect!” Josh says, smiling as he starts to sing along and drives out of their driveway, down a long winding road toward Detroit. The five of you spend the whole car ride singing along to your favorite songs, with Jake usually vocalizing every single guitar solo.

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Day One

You finally get to the hotel around 10:30, giving you all enough time to get ready before driving to the festival grounds. You got two rooms next to each other, putting Danny and Sam together in one and you and the twins in the other. The room had a pullout couch, which Jake promised he’d stay on since he “barely gets any sleep these days anyway,” and you know that he’ll be out much later than you and Josh will be. He always manages to go off on his own at these types of things.

You throw your things onto one of the beds and then turn to Josh. “Just let me have the bathroom for like twenty minutes and then it’s all yours, okay Diana Ross?” you say, referencing his long, poofy head of hair that goes almost down to his shoulders. He chuckles and flops down on his bed, putting his hands behind his head. “Okay, okay! Whatever, I’ll take some much-needed beauty rest in the meantime,” he says, shutting his eyes as you turn toward your bed, grab your makeup bag and outfit for the day, and then head into the bathroom.

Knowing how hot it was outside this weekend, you decide to wear a pair of short overalls with a burnt orange sports bra underneath to match your Converse of the same color. You pull your hair half up, putting that half-section of hair into a messy bun and pulling out some front pieces to frame your face.

With your hair done and out of your face, you just apply a base of makeup and use setting spray so that you don’t sweat it off. You place your aviator sunglasses on the top of your head and then exit the bathroom. “All yours,” you say, going to sit on the edge of your bed and plug your phone in to charge until it’s time to leave.

With your back turned, you can’t see the way that Josh is looking at you. As always, you were oblivious to it. He gets up from the bed and grabs his clothes, and as he walks over to the bathroom he turns around to look back at you.

You’re just sitting there, scrolling away on your phone, but he stands there for a moment to admire you; the way your eyelashes curl upward, the way your long hair lays down your back, the way the bare skin of your torso peaks through in your overalls. He sighs to himself quietly, then turns around and goes into the bathroom.

Jake didn’t need to use the bathroom, he was already dressed and ready to go in a short-sleeved button-down shirt (half-unbuttoned), jeans, and light brown Chelsea boots. You couldn’t imagine how that would be comfortable for a festival, but Jake’s fashion always eluded you.

Next thing you know, Josh emerges from the bathroom, hair all “fixed.” He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt with a burnt orange bandana, accidentally matching you, and some khaki shorts and white sneakers. You look up at him and smile, and he says, “Okay! Let’s rock and roll!”

The three of you go next door to collect Sam and Danny, who are thankfully ready to go. Sam pulled his long hair into a low bun and threw on a loose long-sleeve button-down with the sleeves rolled up paired with shorts, contrasting Danny in his band tee and skinny jeans, who has also pulled his hair back.

You all head down to the car and drive over to the festival, planning to try and get there early to watch Tame Impala’s set at 4 PM- Jake’s idea of course. The 1975 will go on at the same stage at 8 PM, which is what you’re looking forward to more. The main event, however, will be Hozier tomorrow night, which is something you’re all anticipating. You’ll also go to see Tyler Childers tomorrow afternoon before Hozier’s set, at Josh’s request.

Jake, Sam, and Danny want to be close to the front for Tame Impala’s set, so they rush to the front to save a spot while you and Josh go to find the alcohol. You walk ahead of Josh, trying to weave in and out of the crowd to find the booth, holding his hand tightly behind you to stay together. As always, with your back turned you can’t see the pink hue that has graced his cheeks at the feeling of your hand tight in his.

Finally, you approach the table and get in line. As Josh meets you at your side, he squeezes your hand tightly before dropping it and combing his fingers through his hair. Your face softens as you look at him for a moment before turning to look around you. The line isn’t too terribly long, luckily, since you both desired to be far more intoxicated.

“God, it’s hot, huh?” you say, reaching behind you to pull your hair off of your neck and wipe off the sweat. Josh nods and wipes some droplets of sweat off of his forehead. “Yeah, it’s not ideal, is it? We’ll make do though, I’m sure. We always do,” he says with a smile, always the optimist. You reach the front of the line shortly and order two Bud Lights, three black cherry White Claws, and five bottles of water, and then turn to head back to the main stage. They gave you bags, thank god, since you wouldn’t possibly be able to carry all of those drinks back by yourselves.

“Still feeling hot?” Josh asks with a smirk as he walks next to you with the bag of water bottles in his hand. You nod and before you can react, he giggles as he takes one of the bottles out of the bag and shoves it into your bare side, causing you to scream from the cold touch. You shove him away from you and yell, “Josh! What the hell is wrong with you? That was so cold!”

He’s cracking up as he comes back close to you and snakes his arm around you, pulling you into him. “Sorry, Saph. You said you were hot! A gentleman is meant to help a lady in need, is he not?” You roll your eyes and then lean into him. “You’re such an idiot,” you scoff. “Your idiot,” he replies with a smile.

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You finally make it back to the guys, who have found a spot a few rows back from the barricade. You hand everyone their drinks and point to Danny and Sam with a stern finger. “You’re both lucky I bought these for you. Behave yourselves, if you get caught I don’t want to go down with you,” you say as they both laugh and take a sip of their drinks.

You all hang out and listen to the set of one of the smaller artists who’s playing on the stage now, just vibing to the music. It didn’t matter if any of you knew who it was or what they were playing, it was just fun to be there together. You smiled and danced by yourself to the songs, in your own world. Josh is to your right, the two of you are standing just behind the others as you’d gotten there later. He looks over at you with a content smile as he watches you enjoy yourself, appreciating how lucky he feels to be there in that moment.

You feel his eyes on you this time, however. You turn your head to look at him and a smile grows across your face as you lock eyes with him. “What?” you ask, turning to face him. “Nothing, darling. Just you,” he answers, looking down at you. “Just me? What about me?”

He reaches down to brush some hair out of your face. “All of you. I just feel very grateful to be here with you, Saph.” Your cheeks flush as you look up at him with a shy smile. There’s some conflict in his eyes and you can tell that he wants to say more, but he doesn’t.

You reach up to wrap your arms around him and pull him in for a tight hug, breathing him in. You feel him sigh into your neck and put his arms around your waist as you squeeze him tightly and then pull away, his arms still around you. When you look up into his eyes at that moment, there’s a feeling there that you don’t recognize, a strong force pulling you toward him. You find yourself not wanting to let go, feeling this innate need to be close to him. It almost feels out of control. You’re not sure what triggered it or what you’re meant to do, but you plan to find out.

The set ends and people file out of the pit slowly. You have some time before the 1975’s set, and even though you don’t want to lose your spot, you need a break. Jake and Sam split off and say that they’re going to go to the Strokes set in an hour, so they head to another stage. Danny opts to stay for the 1975 set with you and Josh and says he’ll hold the spot if you and Josh take a break and go get food and water.

The two of you go to find a food truck to get something to eat, struggling to make your way through the crowd. As you approach the field where all the food trucks are, you look to your left and exclaim, “Oh my god, look! They have a big water sprinkler! C’mon Josh, let’s go let’s go!”

You grab his hand and pull him after you toward the sprinkler, where dozens of other people are cooling off in the cold water. You run under the water and turn around to face him, giggling and pulling him under with you. He smiles wide as the water hits his head, drenching his hair and causing it to lay long and flat on his shoulders. He shuts his eyes tight as it soaks him and his white shirt becomes completely damp, causing it to stick tight to his skin.

Your hair is wet and sticking to your cheeks and you know your overalls will be wet all night, considering jean materials never dry quickly, but you don’t care. The cool water feels so good on your skin after such a long day as you lean your head back and soak it all in.

You look over at Josh, smiling from ear to ear and you stop to admire how honestly beautiful he looks like this. He slicked his wet hair to lay down his back and you watch as little droplets of water drip onto his cheeks from his thick eyebrows. You can see hints of his abdominal muscles thanks to the tightness of his wet t-shirt and you’d be lying if you said that your eyes didn’t linger there.

You pull him into you, wrapping your arms around his waist. Your wet clothes are sticking tight to both of you- a slightly uncomfortable feeling but welcomed for the experience to cool down. “Your shirt is wet,” you state matter-of-factly, giggling as you pull back a bit to look at him. “Really? You’re kidding,” he laughs, reaching his hands down to swipe the wet hair off of your face.

You sigh and look up at him with a grin. “Hungry?” you ask. “Starved,” he says. He looks down at you for a moment, his eyes drift to your lips for a second and linger there before traveling up to meet your gaze, the look on his face much more serious than you were ever used to. You take a deep breath, the moment starting to feel a bit more intimate than you’d anticipated. “Let’s go get some walking tacos!” you say, leaving the sprinkler and heading toward the food trucks.

Josh sheds his shirt off as you walk, needed to squeeze the water out and let it dry in the sun for a bit. You’ve seen him shirtless your whole life, you should be used to it by now, but you have to admit that it felt different this time. You let yourself stare a bit too long at the way his wet chest shimmers in the light of the sun, realizing that you need to snap out of it and stop getting distracted.

You and Josh grab your walking tacos, saving one for Danny and grabbing a few more bottles of water, then start the trek back to the stage. You both decide to eat a bit as you walk, being so hungry that you can’t wait until you get back. As you walk, Josh drops a bit of ground beef onto his bare chest and you erupt into laughter.

“Here, let me get it,” you manage to get out through laughs. You both stop walking and you take a napkin out of the bag and then bring it to his chest. You wipe a bit from his chest and then notice a bit of sauce further down toward his belly button.

You reach down and wipe that as well, hearing his breath catch a bit at the feeling of your hand there. Your eyes shoot up to his face, which is now a light shade of pink. Your lips turn up slightly into a subtle smile and you say, “There. All better.” You take your hand away and watch him finally breathe out, then turn away and start walking again. Interesting.

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You reach Daniel back at your spot by the stage and hand him his food. “What happened to you guys? You’re soaking wet,” he asks. “We found a water sprinkler. Felt great,” you answer with a smile. He shrugs and starts eating his food and the three of you hang out until it’s time for the band to come on. Josh slips his shirt back on, which is now significantly less damp.

The 1975 comes on stage as the sun starts to go down, cooling the air down considerably. You’re having so much fun dancing around with your best friends and there’s truly nowhere else you’d rather be. You and Danny sing along to every song as Josh watches and dances along, not really knowing the songs but having fun, nonetheless.

The band closes out the set with your favorite song, Sex. You scream as the song starts and jump around with a wide smile on your face, taking Josh’s hand in yours. He jumps with you, watching you instead of the show as you jump around grinning ear to ear, singing along.

When they get to the third verse, however, Josh can’t take his eyes off of you. The way you’re dancing and singing to a song with these kinds of lyrics is doing something to him that he didn’t expect.

Now we're just outside of town,

And you're making your way down

And I'm not trying to stop you, love,

If we're gonna do anything, we might as well just fuck

You sing along to the song as you take his hands in yours and dance with him. His eyes are piercing through you as he studies you, but you don’t notice with all the excitement. As the chorus starts, he pulls you in and twirls you around, smiling down at you.

You sway with him as the chorus continues and the song ends, much closer than you’d expected to be with your chests touching. As the crowd erupts into applause, you find yourself getting lost in his eyes for a moment. He’s looking down at you, his breath a bit heavy from the dancing, trying to get a glimpse of what’s going on inside your mind.

Before you can say anything, Danny turns around to you guys and says “Well, time to go,” then starts heading toward the exit. You snap back into reality at that moment, releasing your hold on Josh and stepping back a bit, then following after Danny. Josh follows closely behind.

The three of you head back to the hotel after getting a text that Jake and Sam planned to go to a bar down the street from where you’re staying before returning. They say they’ll meet you at the hotel, so you leave without them. When you arrive, you split off from Daniel at his room and then you and Josh head into yours.

You go into the bathroom to put on a tank top and a pair of sweatshorts then wash your face and pull your hair back into a low ponytail. You open the bathroom door and see that Josh has already changed, having thrown on a pair of sweatpants and opting to go without a shirt. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, reading something on his phone, and looks up as he hears you come out.

He watches you as you walk toward your bed and sit down there across from him. He seems a bit deep in thought, his face not as lit up as usual. “Tired?” you ask, bringing your legs up onto the bed and leaning to your left arm onto the pillow. “Yeah, something like that,” he says, giving you a half smile. He goes to lie down but still faces your direction, and you do the same, just looking at him for a moment before finally speaking again.

“Hey, Josh?” you say, looking at him across the chasm between your beds.

“Yeah, Saph?” he answers.

“I miss you a lot when you’re gone.”

“I know, darling. We miss you too, always.”

“I mean just you. Not that I don’t miss the others too, but… You make everything better, Josh. Everything feels so much easier when you’re here,” you confess, meeting his gaze with a soft smile.

“Everything is easier with you there, too. It’s like you add air to my lungs. You walk into a room and it’s like a breath of fresh air,” he answers, smiling back at you.

Your face drops a little bit and you want to say more, but before you get the chance, you hear the door as Jake waltzes in, drunk off his ass. “Oh. You’re still up,” he slurs out, then flops down onto the bed he’s made on the couch.

Josh leans up to turn the lamp off and looks over at you. “Goodnight, honey,” he says, turning the switch. “Goodnight.”

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Day Two

The hotel alarm clock goes off at 9 AM, bright and early. You rub your eyes and sit up in your bed as you hear groans from the other side of the room. “Oi! Turn that shit off!” Jake hollers from the couch. You chuckle as you turn off the alarm and get up to start getting ready.

Josh is still sleeping peacefully, having not heard the alarm at all. He snores lightly as you walk over to his bed and bring your hand down to his head, brushing his hair back out of his face and then shaking his shoulder softly.

“Come on, honey. Time to get up,” you say as his eyes flutter open and land on you, causing him to give you a sleepy, toothless grin. “Morning, Saph,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes as he sits up in bed. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty. Long day ahead of us,” you reply, heading into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

You pull your hair back into a loose French braid down your back and then wash your face and apply some base makeup once again. You put on a small sky-blue cropped tank top and black biker shorts, then open the bathroom door and walk back into the room.

Considering you were spending the weekend with four men, you knew they wouldn’t be changing their outfits that much. Josh had subbed out his white t-shirt for a black one of the same kind, wearing similar-looking shorts. Jake wore a Guns n Roses t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and a darker pair of jeans.

You sit down on the edge of your bed across from Josh and tie on your Converse. “I quite like how you styled your hair,” Josh says, looking over at you. “Beautiful.” You take your attention away from your shoes to look at him, trying to make sure you heard him right. He’s looking at you in such adoration, it’s hard for you to understand.

You smile shyly and blush a bit as your eyes lock with his before turning your attention back to your shoes. “Thank you, Josh…” you mumble, not sure how to react, especially with Jake in the room. His presence becomes especially apart when you hear him chuckle to himself behind you at his brother’s attempt at flattery. Josh scoffs and then stands up and walks toward the door. “Shall we?” he says, opening the door. The three of you file out and meet up with Sam and Danny and then go to the car once again.

When you arrive at the grounds, you all get drinks together and have a round or two before Tyler Childers’ set at 3 PM. You didn’t know much of his music, but Josh really liked him and you were tipsy enough not to worry about it too much. The five of you had a spot closer to the barricade this time since you’d gotten there early enough, so you had a great view of the stage.

Josh enjoyed the set, smiling and grooving to the music. The songs were folky and country, which made it quite easy to dance along and enjoy it. You watched Josh as he blissfully watched the show, unaware of how truly content he looked and how it made you feel. You couldn’t help but smile as you studied him, admiring how much kindness and beauty exuded from his soul.

You looked at how his curls looked as the summer breeze blew lightly. You watched how his eyes squinted as he smiled wider and sang along. You observed how his lips looked- full, pink, and warm. You admired his hands as they were wrapped around his torso, almost like he was hugging himself. You couldn’t look away even if you tried. He was an enigma.

There was a particular song at the end of the set that really sparked something in him, All Your’n. When it started, Josh took his gaze away from the performance to look at you with a grin. He wrapped his arm around you, his hand gripping your right shoulder softly as he leaned his head to the side on top of yours and sang along to the song.

So I'll love ya 'til my lungs give out

I ain't lying

I'm all your'n and you're all mine

You smile as you dance with him to his favorite song. Seeing him happy was all you needed in the world, and you’d do anything to be the one contributing to it. Your face flushes as you feel him place a soft kiss on the top of your head and then nestle his head on your shoulder, swaying as the song comes to an end. At that moment, there was nowhere you’d rather be. You knew you’d do anything to experience this feeling every day, for the rest of your life.

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The five of you went to the other side of the grounds to eat a quick dinner before returning to your spot by the stage. As you ate, your mind was clouded with only thoughts of Josh and how different things felt. Of course, you’ve always felt a deep connection with him, a bond that could never be broken. You loved him, but the context of that love felt different now.

You’re unsure if it was the recent distance due to their tour or just that the two of you were growing up but after today, your love for him has seemed to turn into adoration. Being with him felt like a piece of you had been returned to you, as though you were only truly whole when he was by your side. His presence felt like breathing fresh air into your lungs after being submerged under water. You understand now what it means, and you think he does too.

Soon, it’s time to get back for Hozier’s set, what you’d all been waiting for. All of the guys were a fan of his, but none of them were nearly as big of a fan as you were. Every song felt like it reflected your soul and your heart in a way that no other music does.

The set begins and you know every song, of course. He plays all of his hits, one of your favorites being Jackie and Wilson. As he sings the song, you’re dancing around and pull Josh in to dance with you. You take his hands in yours and sway with him, jumping around with the largest grin imaginable spread across your face. He’s smiling back down at you and laughing as he lets you maneuver him in whatever way you want to. He even twirls you around a few times, making you giggle.

The mood switches as Hozier begins to play Work Song, which is one that has always resonated with you. You keep Josh’s hand in yours as you watch and sing along. You feel him give your hand a tight squeeze, causing you to look up at him. He gives you a closed-lip smile as he looks down at you, his eyes lingering on your lips for a moment.

There’s nothing sweeter than my baby

I’d never want from the cherry tree

‘Cause my baby’s sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin’ me

The other guys were standing in front of you and despite the crowd of people behind you, you suddenly felt alone there in that moment, eyes never straying from each other’s gaze. Your expression softens as you turn your body to face him and he wraps his arm around your waist and lowers his head to press his forehead to yours. You shut your eyes and take a deep breath as the song continues, swaying with him.

When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I’ll crawl home to her

You open your eyes and meet his, breathing heavily from the heat of the crowd as well as the tension. You start to overthink the entire situation but before you’re able to voice your thoughts, Josh finally brings his lips to yours. Your entire body relaxes in his arms as he pulls you closer to him. It feels as though he’s put the air back into your lungs, like you’ve been living your whole life without something that you know now that you could never live without.

You bring your hands up the back of his neck as you deepen the kiss. You grip his hair at the nape of his neck lightly, eliciting a quiet groan from Josh. He nips your bottom lip and you giggle as you finally pull away, his arms still holding you. It’s almost like the rest of the world disappeared in that moment, you heard the song playing on but you didn’t even notice.

The set ends and you quickly let go of each other before the others turn around to face you. Something you can’t hide, however, is the pink hue on both of your cheeks and swollen lips, which slightly gives you away.

“Ready to go? I could sleep for a day, it feels like,” Danny says, starting to head out toward the exit. You all start to walk out as Jake elbows his twin, chuckling and whispering, “Feeling okay there, brother? You’re looking a little… flushed.”

Josh rolls his eyes and walks a bit faster as he mutters, “Yes, Jake, I’m perfectly fine,” and takes your hand to drag you with him. You laugh as you follow closely behind him to the car and he drives the five of you back to the hotel for the night.

*:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:*༺˚ ⊹♫⊹ ˚༻*:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:*

You all arrive back at the hotel and as you get out of the car, Jake says, “You guys wanna go find somewhere to have a few pints?” Danny and Sam all answer in agreement, but Josh shakes his head. You look at him for a moment and meet his eyes. “Yeah, I think Josh and I might stay back, if that’s okay. It’s been a long couple of days,” you say, looking back at the guys with a shy smile.

Jake chuckles to himself. “Okay then, suit yourself. If you’re so tired, then I won’t come in late and wake you. I’ll stay with Sam and Daniel,” he answers with a wink to Josh. Damn these twins, you can’t get anything past them. Josh sighs and says okay before turning to head inside the hotel. You follow him up, beginning to feel a bit nervous.

Josh opens the door to your room and you both walk inside, closing the door behind you. When the door is finally shut, Josh turns around to face you. Before you can say anything, his lips find yours once again. You sigh into his mouth as he pushes you up against the door, his hands holding your waist tightly.

Your hands find their place around his neck as he deepens the kiss, his hands traveling from your waist to the swells of your ass. “Fuck,” you gasp under your breath, the feeling of his hands on you becoming almost too much to handle. That’s when he uses his grip to lift you and wrap your legs around his waist, bringing you over to your bed and laying you down.

He stands at the edge of the bed and removes his t-shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift movement. You take that moment to remove your own, sitting up on your elbows for a moment as you take it off and then pull your sports bra over your head.

Josh looks down to admire you for a moment before leaning over you, still standing but kneeling one leg slightly on the bed. He pulls you in for a kiss with one hand cupping your cheek as he reaches the other down to grasp your breast, kneading it softly with his fingers and groaning quietly into your mouth.

“Saph, you are so beautiful. Sculpted by God himself,” he says, leaning his forehead against yours. “Josh…” you start, rubbing your thumb along his cheek. “Shhh,” he whispers, bringing his finger to your lips. “We can discuss it later. Right now, I just need to feel you… gotta make sure that this isn’t some sort of dream.”

He leans back away from you to lower himself to the floor and then starts pulling down the waistband of your shorts. Leaning up on your elbows, you watch as he pulls your shorts down, agonizingly slow. He brings his hands down to pull them down over the curves of your ass when he notices that you’d opted to go without any underwear today. He kisses your inner thigh with a low moan and then looks up at you and says, “No panties? Dirty girl…”

He helps you out of your shorts the rest of the way then reaches up to grasp your ass cheeks, causing you to spread your legs for him. “So perfect,” he mutters, reaching one hand down to run his fingers through your folds. “Is this all for me, baby?” he asks, looking up at you with his eyes dark with lust.

“All for you, Josh. Only you,” you nod, sighing at the feeling of his fingers right where you’ve longed for them to be. “Lucky me…” he whispers before lowering his mouth down to your aching core. He licks into you like a man starved, lapping up the wetness at your folds before wrapping his lips tightly around your clit, making you whine and lean your head back.

He inserts one finger inside you, causing you to moan again, and then removes his mouth from you to speak. “Look at me, baby. Wanna see how angelic you look when I bring you over the edge.” You look down at him and he curls his finger inside of you before adding another one. He attaches his lips back onto you, sucking lightly as he curls his fingers inside of you, eliciting all kinds of lude noises from your mouth, which was exactly what he wanted.

“God, Josh. Fuck, I’m so close,” you whine, gripping the comforter of the bed tightly as you continue to look down at him. “Give it to me, angel. Want it so bad, do it,” he says against your clit with a groan, quickening his movements. You finally feel the band snap inside you and call out his name as he works you through it, taking his mouth off of you and slowing his fingers inside of you.

He kisses your inner thigh again before bringing his fingers up to his mouth, sucking your release off of them. “Mmm, fuck. You taste like heaven, my love. I fear I might get addicted,” he says, standing up to remove his shorts along with his boxers, stepping out of them, and then leaning back down to kiss you. He licks into your mouth and holds the back of your head steadily as you bring your hand down to stroke him lightly.

He groans against you and ruts his hips into your hand and you quicken your pace and then lean up to push him off of you. “My turn,” you say with a smirk, pushing him down onto the bed to lay with his head on the pillow. He looks up at you as the corners of his mouth turn into a smile and you crawl up toward him, taking his hardened length into your hand.

You bend down and swirl the tip with your tongue, then take it into your mouth. You work your mouth down onto it slowly until your nose touches the happy trail on his lower abdomen. You’re met with a long groan from Josh as he leans his head back onto the headboard with one of his hands gripping your hair lightly.

You continue to bob your head along his length, occasionally stopping to gag on it for a few moments at the hilt, causing him to sputter out various expletives. Before it gets too far, he goes to pull your head off of him with a groan. “Baby, if you keep going like that, I’m not gonna make it long enough to feel what this divine pussy feels like wrapped around me.” You blush at his direct language, something you’re still not used to hearing from him.

“You want me, Josh? Wanna feel me?” you tease, crawling up to straddle him, feeling his dick flush against your soaked folds. You reach down and put your hands around his neck, gripping his hair as you lean closer to him. “I need it, Saph. Haven’t been able to think about anything else all night besides how good it would feel to be inside you,” he whispers, holding your hips so tightly that you know it would leave a bruise.

You don’t need to hear anything else before you bring a hand down to grip his length and lift your hips to lower yourself down onto him. He grips your sides tighter as you make your way slowly to the hilt, adjusting to the size. He leans his head back with a groan as you finally lift your hips up and then back down.

He leans up to capture your lips with his and moans into your mouth as you grind repeatedly down onto him. “God, baby. Feels so good. So perfect for me,” he mutters, gripping you tightly as he starts to thrust up into you quickly, causing you to whine and try to steady yourself on the bed.

It feels unlike any other man you’ve ever been with. Not only do you feel safe and loved by someone you trust the most, but it feels like everything has finally fallen into place. The two of you were destined and your intimacy now only proves it further. You were meant to be his.

Josh flips you over onto your back and re-enters you, bringing his hand up to hold the back of your neck and kiss you passionately. His tongue slips past your lips as his other hand grips your hip and he thrusts into you, repeatedly hitting the same spot that drives you wild. “That’s it, honey, that’s it,” he whispers, bringing his hand from your hip to rub circles around your clit as he lowers his mouth to attach to one of your hardened nipples.

You moan at the overstimulating feeling of his mouth on you combined with his quick movements on your clit and throw your head back against the headboard. “Fuck, Josh, don’t stop I’m-” you mumble as he removes his mouth from you to interrupt you. “I know, baby, I’m right there with you. Let me have it.”

That’s all you need to hear before reaching your second orgasm, and Josh is not far behind you. He brings his mouth to yours as he finally releases inside of you, slowing his thrusts as he fucks it back into you until he stills his movements entirely. He brings his hand to caress your cheek and looks down at you with a wide smile, his cheeks flushed and rosy.

“Stay here, okay? I’ll be right back, baby,” he says, pulling out of you slowly and then padding off toward the bathroom. He returns with a wet washcloth and a small cup of water, setting it down on the side table and then sitting down at the edge of the bed next to you. He cleans you up delicately, almost pampering you, and then reaches up to move some of your hair from in front of your eyes.

“So beautiful. I’m still not sure how I got so lucky,” he says, smiling down at you. You sit up a bit and kiss his lips sweetly, then lean your forehead against his. “I love you, Josh.”

“I love you too, my Sapphire. More than words, and you know I’m not usually speechless… You’re everything to me, Y/N,” he answers, rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

You both slip on some comfier clothes to sleep in, just in case Jake decides to come back in the morning. He then turns the lamp off then climbs into your bed with you, laying on his side to face you. You turn to face him as well, looking into his eyes silently for a moment.

“I’m not sure what I’d do without you, Josh. You’re my world, more than you know,” you admit.

“I know, my love. You’ll never have to find out. I’ll always be yours. Always,” he answers, bringing his hand down to stroke your hair affectionately. The two of you drift off to sleep in each other’s arms, where you were always meant to be.

Or so you thought. One can never predict where the road may take you… What seems to be love at one point can turn into nothing within a moment’s notice. Nothing lasts forever, despite all efforts to fight it. But love doesn’t always fade away entirely, does it?

*:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:*༺˚ ⊹♫⊹ ˚༻*:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:**:·.·:*

to be continued…

comment or message me if you want to be added to the taglist for part 2! there should only be two parts but i plan to write a handful of chapters for POTB before coming back to this, so stay tuned for that!

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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The way the size kink post has a mature label on it now…real 💀

He makes me insane. 🥰

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

Text

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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My Name or Nothing At All

a/n: Oh hi. My lovely, beautiful and very smart friend convinced me to write this after I sent her a teeny tiny imagine based on that look on Josh’s face. 5k+ words later, my first fic was born. Oops. Shout out to all my pookies who got to read it first <3

pairing: Josh x f!reader

summary: You’ve made your boyfriend jealous for the first time, and he simply won’t stand for it :)

warnings: 18+ minors stay far away, language, light arguing, graphic sexual content, oral (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, yadda yadda - enjoy!

update: read part 2 here

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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Crave (Chapter 5)

Word count: 5.5k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

“You’re gonna wish you never said that…”

Her words replay in your head and you are stuck wondering what she meant. You realized that this could happen, getting involved with someone like Josh. You didn’t realize it would be happening so soon. Completely blindsided, you know you have probably said the wrong thing.

What is Josh going to say?

You internally battle with yourself for the rest of your shift. Thankfully, the rest of the night is quiet and easy. You clean up the bar and head home, soaking in a bubble bath when you hear your phone buzz on the bathroom counter. You step out of the tub and wrap yourself in a towel, grabbing the phone and seeing its Josh.

Josh: Hi love, just got back to my room. Miss you.

You: Hi, I miss you too. I hope you had a good day! I met some of those fans you warned me about tonight.

Josh: What? Where?

You: At work.

Your phone rings and you see Josh’s smile light up your screen. You take a deep breath and hit the green button.

“Hey!” you answer.

“Hey beautiful, what’s going on? You said they came to the bar?” He asks.

“Yes, they actually came looking for you guys, they said they heard you hang out there and wanted me to confirm. Which I did not. But then I guess one of them recognized me from the photo the other night… they were less than pleasant after that. I feel like I probably said something I shouldn't have... I don't know.” You reply.

“This is exactly what I was worried about. Listen, they will say whatever they can to get under your skin. Don’t believe anything they say, they will come up with anything to get at you. As far as how you reacted, I'm sure you said exactly what was necessary. I'm sorry you had to deal with this while I'm gone.” He says.

“Josh, don’t worry. I am fine, just stressed me out a little bit. I tried to take a bath to relax but it didn’t really help. I’m just anxious. I know you guys like to go to Sixty’s because no one ever finds you there but now… I feel like I should have lied and said no…. and the photo… I don’t know I’m just….” You stammer.

“Baby, relax. It’s fine, we will figure it out. Don’t be stressed. In fact…” he stops, you can practically hear the wheels spinning in his head.

“Let's try something...Are you in bed?” He asks.

“I’m about to be. I am putting on a t-shirt right now, and then I am…” you reply.

“Good, get into bed and tell me when you’re there. Feel free to skip the t-shirt. ” He replies and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

Oh Josh… I love this side of you so much.

Your cheeks heat up and your heart starts to race thinking about what he is implying. You are in the mood to release some of the stress from today and this is the perfect opportunity.

You decide to skip the t-shirt at Josh’s suggestion, climbing into bed and propping yourself up against your pillow. You pop in your airpods to hear Josh’s voice closer.

“Okay, I’m in bed. Nothing on…” you say devilishly, you are ready to play this game too.

“You’re so perfect. Are you comfortable?” he is asking genuinely, your heart fluttering at how sweet and caring this man is.

“Yes. Talk to me, Josh.” you don't want to waste any more time.

He laughs lightly and you hear some rustling on his end, then the clear sound of him undoing his belt buckle. The ache between your thighs grows in anticipation. “Close your eyes for me.” You follow his instructions and close your eyes, focusing all of your energy on listening to his voice in your ears.

He begins instructing you again slowly in a lower register, not waiting for you to confirm that you’ve done what he’s asked. He knows you are following his every word.

“I want you to imagine I’m with you, that your hand is mine and it’s me that’s taking care of you right now. Touching you just the way you like… Gonna make you feel so good baby, we are going to do this together, every step of the way.”

“Please, Josh. Tell me what to do… I’m ready.” your voice is desperate, you miss him so much, and hearing his voice has you absolutely dripping already.

“Fuck. You have no idea how sexy you sound right now.” you hear his breath falter a little bit.

“I want you to trail your hand down your body, appreciate every inch. I love your soft skin so much, I can’t wait to get my mouth back on it.” his voice drenched with promise.

You take your time and run your hands down from your neck, over your breasts, and to your lower stomach. You are envisioning it’s Josh and can’t help the way you lightly gasp as you imagine it’s his fingers grazing your clit.

“Keep making those sounds for me. I need to hear how you’re feeling. Don’t be shy. I want you to touch yourself now, and I am going to do the same. We are going to come together. I’ve been hard for you since the second I heard your beautiful voice. Already got off in the shower once today thinking about you, but god damn this is so much better.”

“Tell me what you were thinking about, Josh. Please.” your fingers continue to swirl against your sensitive bud lightly and your heart is beating faster. At his insistence, you dip two of your fingers into your core, thinking about him filling you up instead.

“Was thinking about your beautiful lips wrapped around my cock. Your eyes looking up at me while you took me in your mouth. The way you moan as I hit the back of your throat. The way your lips look afterwards, so pink and full. Fuck, I can’t wait, to see you.” he lets out a deep groan and you can hear the faint sounds of his hand working himself up and down vigorously.

You have no words in response, focusing your efforts on yourself as you switch between pumping your fingers and rubbing tight circles on your clit. You are getting closer to your edge by his words alone, moaning in response and letting his name roll off your tongue.

“Are you close for me, baby? I don’t know how much longer I can last. Especially with you moaning my name like that...shit...” his voice is getting weaker and you can tell he is ready to finish.

“Yes, Josh. Cum for me, and I’ll cum for you. I’m right there.” you breathe.

“Fuck baby…” his last words spill out of his mouth along with a few delicious moans and other expletives. But what really sends you over the edge is hearing your name leave his mouth laced in pleasure. The sound of him reaching his release is all it takes to send yours plummeting through your body as well. His name slipping deliciously from your lips as it wracks your body.

The line goes quiet for a few seconds as you both catch your breath.

“Josh…” you breathe out.

“Yeah baby…” he replies almost a whisper, still panting. You can hear him rustling around in the background.

“Thank you….” you say.

“Anything for you, love. Try to get some sleep and dont worry about those girls. All I care about is you, and I can't wait to see you.” he says laying back down in his bed.

“I can’t wait to see you either, I miss you so much. Goodnight…” you say.

“Goodnight my angel.” he replies, ending the call.

You lay there for a while just enjoying the relaxed sensation pulsating through your body, before realizing the time. You place your phone on the charger and turn off the light thinking of him as you close your eyes.

Only one more day…

When you wake the next morning and grab your phone you see a text from Josh.

Josh: Good morning lover, hope you have a good day today. Thinking of you always.

You: Good morning, miss you and hope your day is good too. Thanks for last night.

You swipe out of your messages and see that you have a ton of instagram notifications.

What in the world?

Opening the app you see your inbox is loaded with message requests, you have tagged photos for review, and comments on your photos from years ago.

You open your message requests and see hundreds of messages from girls who are asking you if you are dating Josh, how you know him, and the like. One message catches your eye though.

Being mean to people in this fandom is not going to age well, you should have thought about that. What would Josh think?

You click on another one.

You are a bartender? How pathetic, Josh deserves someone better than a bitchy bartender.

You open another.

Don’t worry we will show Josh who you really are. :)

Your heart is racing, you are being attacked, just like he said. You quickly close the app and throw your phone across the bed.

The messages continue to flood in all day, and the more you ignore them the more they seem to come. You know how these fandoms work, so you grab your computer and open Twitter. You search Josh’s name + girlfriend and you are inundated with horrible tweets about yourself. Belittling you, your appearance, your job and Josh’s choice in partner. You have never been bullied like this before and you are not sure how the guys deal with it day to day.

Maybe this is why they never post anything...

You don’t look at your phone for the rest of the day. You are afraid to say anything to Josh either. Somehow it feels like if you were to talk to him about it, it would only make things worse. You avoid your phone at all costs, hoping that this drama will die down before they get back. You go to work tonight and suffer through the painfully boring shift. As you are locking up you realize that you haven’t checked your phone at all... in hours. You know you will have missed calls and texts. You get into your car and pull it out of your purse, seeing multiple unread messages and two missed calls from Josh. Your instagram notifications have continued to increase since the last time you looked.

Josh: What are you doing today?

Josh: Everything good?

3:05pm Missed Call: Josh

Josh: What is going on love, call me.

1:08am Missed Call: Josh

Crap.

You immediately dial his number and hope he picks up as you pull out into traffic. It rings twice before he answers.

“Thank god…” he answers.

“I’m so sorry! I haven’t looked at my phone all day!” You reply.

“I was worried, shit.” He says. “Just tell me next time you decide to go off the grid for the day?” He jokes.

“Ugh, I know I’m sorry! This morning… my phone was just blowing up, people are so… mean…I just couldn’t deal with it so I didn’t look at my phone all day. I don’t know how you deal with it, really.” You say.

“What? Oh no....they found you huh? I am so sorry baby…” he replies. He knows exactly what is going on.

“It’s just…a lot.” You say sighing into the phone.

“I know it is....What got to you? There had to be one, if you’re still thinking about it.” He asks.

“I don’t know, just some messages about you deserving someone better than a bartender, or how they were ‘going to show you who I really am’... like they have any clue… it’s just a lot to deal with all at once. Especially by myself.” You say.

“Listen to me, there is no one better for me than you. I don’t care if you’re a bartender, I actually love it, and you’ve said it yourself, who knows you better than I do?” He asks.

“No one.” You reply quietly.

“Exactly. You’re perfect and everything about you is perfect and I just… love you. Exactly how you are. Okay? Don’t even open any more messages. When I get back I will show you how to mute everything. Makes life a lot easier.” He laughs.

“Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it.” You reply.

“It’s okay, I understand. I would have done the same thing in your position. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow, love.” He says.

“I know, I have missed you. The bar has been so quiet and boring without you all there, too.” you reply.

“You’ll come over when I get back, right?” He asks.

“Of course, just let me know when.” You say.

“I will, promise to answer your phone this time?” He jokes.

“Yes….” You laugh.

“Goodnight beautiful.” He says.

“Goodnight, Josh.” You say hanging up the phone.

Did he almost kinda say he loved me?

The next morning you wake up feeling refreshed, and excited knowing that you will get to see Josh. As you roll over to grab your phone you already see a text from Josh from a few hours ago.

Josh: We are getting on the plane now, and should be home around 12:30. Can’t wait to kiss your face.

It’s 10:00 now, so that gives you enough time to get up and do your morning routine and make yourself extra presentable.

Your heart flutters in your chest thinking about kissing him. You take extra time doing your hair and choosing your outfit. You spray your perfume on your wrist and neck and you can feel the butterflies in your stomach start to rise as the clock ticks closer to 12:30.

Pacing your living room, you are waiting for his text to let you know they had landed before you head out. You pack a bag just in case you decide to stay with Josh tonight, even though you’re fairly positive he isn’t going to have it any other way.

Zipping the zipper on the bag your phone buzzes.

Josh: Tell me you’re already on your way…

You: I am now...See you soon.

You grab your things and quickly leave, locking the door behind you. You throw your stuff into your car and head to his house.

You anxiously flip through the songs on your playlist but can't decide on anything, by the time you do, you are pulling into his driveway. His car is already there, but still warm.

You jump out and head to the front door, but before you can even knock it opens and you see his perfect smile greeting you.

“My girl.” He says, opening his arms.

You fall into his arms being surrounded by the best hug. “I missed you.” you say into his neck.

He kisses the top of your head. “I know and we weren’t even gone that long, I don’t know how I am going to make it through tour…” he says.

“I don’t even want to think about that yet.” You reply.

He releases his arms from around you and grabs your face in his hands, pressing his lips to meet yours.

I really missed him.

He pulls back and shuts the door behind you.

“I know I just got here but I have to leave at 4 for my shift. Are you guys…. Gonna come in tonight? I know you just got home and all….” You stammer.

“I’m sure it will not take a whole lot of convincing...” He smiles.

You flash him a smile and he kisses you again.

“You really did miss me, huh?” You ask playfully.

“I did, and I am about to show you just how much.” He says devilishly.

Leading you down the hallway he laces his fingers with yours, pushing his bedroom door open. He lays down on his side of the bed, on top of his perfect fluffy down filled duvet. He crosses his bare feet and pats the spot next to him.

“Okay, first, let me see your phone.” He says holding his hand out.

You pull your phone out of your back pocket and unlock it before handing it to him.

“We need to get you locked down, because all of this….” He says pointing to the hundreds of comments and messages, “...is just not okay. I’m sorry we didn’t do this before I left.”

He shows you how to mute your messages, filter comments, and helps you set your profile to private.

“There, that should do it.” He says, handing it back to you. You set it on the table next to the bed and he throws his arm around your shoulder as he pulls his own phone out.

You snuggle into his side, completely relaxed just being here with him. He opens his instagram and searches for your profile, following you, now that you are private.

“There, now they can speculate all they want, but they can't get to you.” He laughs.

You spend a little time just laying with your head on his chest as he shows you pictures and videos he took while he was gone this week. You hear his heart beat and it lulls you into a drowsy state.

He puts his phone on the table and turns to face you.

“I really did miss you, sleeping here with you… empty hotel beds are cold and lonely.” He says.

You look up and place your lips on his, letting them linger for a few seconds longer than usual.

He grabs your face pulling you in again, so you sit up and climb over top of him, straddling him as you continue the kiss.

His hands slide off of your face and down your neck and shoulders, grazing your arms as they make their way to your hips. He grips into the fabric of your jeans pulling you down to grind into him. A moan leaving his lips and echoing into your mouth.

“Josh, I don’t know if I can wait any longer.” You pant.

“Good. Me either.” He says pulling his shirt over his head.

Minutes later you are tangled with each other, nothing but breathy moans and sighs filling the room.

Every movement made with intention and care, this was not like the past few times. This was like the first time all over again. Josh worships every inch of your body and takes his time paying attention to every minute detail of you. He makes sure you are taken care of first and foremost. He was loving you, not fucking you.

You lay together for a while afterwards talking and giggling, until the clock reminds you that its time to leave your perfect, blissful slice of heaven and head to the dark, smoky bar.

You begrudgingly get up and put your clothes back on, stepping into the bathroom to fix your hair and makeup before stepping back out. You see that he has gotten up and put his clothes back on too. You walk to meet him on the other side of the room and you snake your arms around his torso from behind.

“I’m glad you’re back.” You say into his warm back.

“I am glad too.” He replies, spinning around in your arms. “We are going to come to the bar later, if you still want us to.”

“Of course, it has been so quiet without you guys there.” You smile.

He leans down and kisses your lips, “Then we will see you soon, love.”

He releases you and you make your way to the front door, him not far behind you.

“See you later...” you say playfully blowing him a kiss.

“Bye baby...” He replies kissing your forehead.

Two hours later as you are restocking the cooler, you hear the bell ring and peer over your shoulder to see them walking in. Your heart leaps out of your chest. You smile and stand up and walking over to the bar top. They all come bounding over with smiles.

“My favorite regulars…” you smile.

Josh grabs your hand, pulling it to his lips, placing a kiss on your knuckles. Your face blushes red, at his openness in front of the guys.

“They all know, nothing to hide anymore.” He says.

Your eyes flick to Jake, then Sam, then Danny. Each of them smiling and giving their nod of approval.

“I mean, obviously he’s in love with you, look at this mushy shit.” Sam jokes as Josh releases your hand.

You smile and shrug your shoulders.

“Okay, drinks?” You ask, changing the subject, trying not to think about what Sam said.

Is he? Does he love me?

A while later you approach the guys at their normal table with fresh drinks and pass them out. You look around the bar and see it’s practically empty, so you take a seat next to Josh, who instinctively throws his arm around you. The guys have drank more than their usual amount tonight and things have been rowdy and loud. They tell you about their week, and some of the interesting interview topics they spoke about. As Jake drunkenly drags on about some bizarre topic you all find yourselves praying for his speech to end. Sam pulled out his phone half way through and has been scrolling mindlessly for the past 20 minutes.

“Oh god.” He says taken aback, interrupting Jake’s lecture.

“Did you know Olivia is engaged?!” He says, turning to Danny, shocked.

“What?” Danny interjects, snatching the phone from his hand, studying it before letting out a deep breath.

“No.” is all he says. His voice, deep and dark.

“So if she is engaged what was she doing here, fucking around with you?” Sam asks Danny.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Danny replies.

“What?” He asks.

“What do you mean fucking around?” He yells.

You look at Josh who shrugs his shoulders at you in response. You nod your head back towards the bar and he nods.

As you make your way over to the bar you pretend to look busy and try not to listen in on what’s going on. What you do notice is that Danny has crossed over that threshold. He has that look in his eye and you know things are not going to end well for someone.

“Why the fuck would you even bring it up?” he yells at Sam.

Sam stands up and grabs his things, trying to just leave the bar and the situation all together.

Danny stands up and grabs his arm, slinging him into the wood paneled wall behind the table.

“Do you have a fuckin problem man?” he asks, pushing Sam into the wall by his shoulders.

Jake quickly springs to his feet grabbing Danny by the arm and pulling him off of Sam before anything escalates further.

“Daniel, I think it'd be wise to take a step back.” Jake warns with a glaring look.

Josh taking the opportunity, sliding between Danny and Sam.

“No, no I'm sick of this shit. I’m sick of everyone telling me what to do. What’s best for me… like I don’t know….” he says, throwing Jake’s hand off of him with disgust.

“Maybe you should just go take a walk for a minute…” Josh suggests.

“Yeah, maybe I should Josh…” he says sarcastically.

Danny shoots a venomous look at Sam before walking over to the bartop, where you have to pretend to have not been listening.

He places his elbows on the bar top and runs his hands over his face.

“Do you want to come talk to me outside for a few minutes?” you ask nervously.

He looks up at you surprised. “I don't know, can you...” He turns and looks at Josh.

“Of course I can.” you reply.

You look around and see that it’s only the guys left at this hour, and so you come out from behind the bar and walk to the front door with Danny following behind. You open the door and usher him out, making eye contact with Josh. He nods his head and you smile back at him.

He understands.

As you step outside you see Danny sit down on the little bench around the corner. You walk over to meet him sitting beside him.

“I’m sorry. I don't even know why I did that. Everyone always thinks they know better than me. I am just...” he says defeatedly. “I just keep screwing everything up. I almost just hurt my best friend… and for what?”

“Oh, Danny…” you say, placing your hand on his back. “You didn’t screw everything up…everyone in there knows you, and knows that you were just worked up... And that you would never hurt Sam… It's been a tough few weeks for all of you.”

“It has, and I have been at the center of all of it. Literally every bad thing that has happened has involved me. I need to figure some shit out…” he says shaking his head.

“Sometimes you have to go through a few bad things to get to the good things.” you say.

“You know, I’m really sorry for how I treated you. I really am, but I am so happy that you and Josh are happy. He has not shut up about you all week. Jake and I thought we were going to have to kill him. It's exactly what you have always deserved.” he says.

Your eyes fill with tears, finally feeling the relief of all the tension you harbored towards the Danny and Josh situation. You wrap your arms around him hugging him. He pats his hand on your arm.

“Thanks...It’s been hard. I have felt guilty for how everything played out, and I never really talked to you about it. Things are just different with him, you know? It’s so… easy. It feels so much different, just really… right. I think I love him. I just… I know it’s soon…I haven’t told him. I just really want things to work out…I don’t know why I’m telling you this…. I’m sorry.” you stammer.

“I’m glad you are telling me, it means we are friends. I think we were always supposed to just be friends. I like talking to you, and I like that you feel comfortable confiding in me. I’d like to be that friend, if you want me to be. I know what happened with us was rough, but I think you did find your good in it. I hope that I can find mine.” He smiles.

You tear up and nod your head in acceptance.

“I know, I know, not used to me being the one with all the sappy stuff to say…” he jokes.

You release your arms from around him. “I think you should probably apologize to Sam…”

“Yeah, I probably should…” he says standing up.

You stand up next to him and he reaches towards you for a friendly hug. “Thank you…. For talking to me. It’s nice to have a friend that isn’t… them.” he laughs.

“You can talk to me anytime you need to, Danny. I mean that.” you say stepping back from his hug.

He nods and walks with you back inside the bar. As your eyes search for Josh you see him and he looks at you questioningly.

You smile and nod telling him that everything is good and he smiles back, warming your heart.

You head back behind the bar to start closing everything up for the night. Danny walks over to the table and you see him talking to Sam, clearly apologizing for over-reacting.

Jake walks up to the bar to close out the tab.

“I don't know what you said, but thank you.” he says, pulling out his card. “He is hard to calm down when he gets mad like that.”

“I didn't really say anything, I just let him talk. I think he just needed to talk to someone that wasn’t one of you.” you reply, handing him the receipt.

“Ahhh…..” he exhales. “Josh really picked a good one.” he smirks up at you, signing his receipt and sliding it to you, shoving his in the pocket of his pants.

“Thanks Jake.” You smile back.

You see Josh walking over to the two of you. “What are you two conspiring about?” he asks jokingly.

“I was just telling her thank you for her bomb diffusing efforts.” Jake jokes. “And that you picked a good one.” he smiles patting his shoulder.

“Brother, have you gone soft or is it the Whiskey?” he says playfully jabbing into his side.

“Whiskey.” they both say in unison, laughing.

It's at this moment that you knew you loved him. No question.

As Jake walks away, you see Josh step closer to the bar leaning over to you. “I told you…” he says.

“Told me what?” you reply.

“Everyone can see how I feel about you. Why, I feel that way.” he says, running his fingers over your knuckles. “You’re coming over tonight, right?”

“If you want me to…” you say.

“I never want you to leave.” he replies.

You feel your heart leap.

“Then, I will see you shortly…” you reply coyly.

He meets up with the rest of the guys at the door, waving as they all walk out the door.

As you finish closing up you let your mind wander and enjoying the happy feelings overtaking your body.

This is how it feels to be truly happy, and content.

Locking the door behind you, you make your way to your car but as you approach it you see a piece of paper tucked underneath your windshield wiper.

You grab what you now see is Jake’s copy of the receipt you just gave him, with a scribble of words written on the inside. You open it up and see that it’s not Jake’s handwriting, it’s Danny’s and inside the message reads,

He loves you too. He always has. Don’t wait. Tell him.

A tear springs from the corner of your eye and you feel a pang of longing creep across your chest.

Has he always loved me?

You fold the receipt and place it in your wallet for safe keeping.

As you make the drive to his house you are a bundle of nerves. You aren’t sure how you’re going to tell him, or when but the overwhelming urge to just blurt it out is taking over your brain.

You walk up to his door with your bag and you remember the night you came here just a few short weeks ago, crying and wondering if he would even open the door. You’re so glad he did. You can’t imagine what your life would be like right now if he hadn’t. Much like that night, you stand here waiting for him to open the door, nervous and hopeful.

As the door opens, warmth creeps over your body, releasing all the nerves you had to begin with. His smile has that effect on you. Everytime.

“Ahh my girl... I will never get tired of seeing your face at my door.” he says, pulling your hand to lead you inside.

He takes your bag from your hand and sets it by the door.

As you walk further into the house you stop and turn to face him.

“Josh do you think… tonight we could just…” you stop.

“What baby?” he asks.

“I just… want to be with you and sleep next to you. I missed you.” you say.

“Oh love…I fell asleep every night this week wishing I was holding you. Come on, let's go.” he says, locking the door and turning off the lights.

You step into his bedroom and you see that he already has your favorite shirt sitting on the bed for you. You pick it up and look at him and he smiles back in response.

Sliding your clothes off, you catch him as he watches you, blushing slightly that you caught him. “I can’t help it... You're the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Can’t keep my eyes off of you.” he says as he takes his own clothes off.

He turns off the lamp, and pulls the duvet back crawling into the bed. He pulls your side of the duvet back and opens his arms to you. You slide in, and cuddle in next to him, facing him. He pulls the duvet up around the two of you, before wrapping his arms around your torso, pulling you in closer to him. He inhales deeply against your head holding you tightly to his body.

You wrap your arm around him and run your fingertips over his bare back. His skin is so soft you find yourself lost in the sensation of it gliding so smoothly under your hand.

You know this is the perfect time. Both of you are completely at peace and just enjoying one another. No place you would rather be. Gathering up all your courage, you take a deep breath.

“Josh…” you say, almost a whisper into his neck.

“Mmmhm…” he hums against your head.

“I… I love you.” you finally manage.

He pulls away from you, pressing his hand to your face. His thumb glides across your cheek as a smile crosses his lips.

“My beautiful girl…I love you too. I always have.” he says, pressing his perfect soft lips to yours. A tear springing from you eye.

“Tell me again.” you whisper.

“I am so in love with you. I have always been in love with you. I wish there were more words for me to tell you exactly how much. For once in my life words are escaping me…” he laughs against your lips wiping your tears away.

You press your lips to his once more before settling back into his arms.

“Then I guess you’ll just have to show me.” you say kissing his chest.

“Everyday, for as long as you’ll have me…” he replies.

“Always.” you whisper, your eyes fluttering closed as you drift off to sleep, completely wrapped in love.

fin.

94 notes · View notes

thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

Text

Crave (Chapter 4)

Word count: 8.5k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

HER POV

The next morning as you wake, you reach for Josh, but he’s not there.

Hmmm, he must have woken up early…

You stretch your legs out and grab your phone off of the nightstand, seeing you have a text from Josh.

Josh: Good morning, stepped out to run a quick errand. Be back soon, with coffee of course.

You: Oh a secret morning errand? See you soon.

You set your phone back down on the table and stand up, walking over to your bag to retrieve your toothbrush and head into his bathroom. You open the little cabinet and find his toothpaste. You brush your teeth and stare at yourself in the mirror, dressed in his t-shirt and sporting major bed-head.

You turn the shower on and let the water warm up while you find the outfit you packed for the day in your bag. A pair of jeans and a weathered band tee that has seen better days.

You strip off Josh’s shirt and your underwear and step into the shower spray, letting the hot water rush over you. Looking at the line of products in front of you, you realize he has a lot of different options for a guy. You take your time smelling each one, picking the one that smells the most like him, and washing yourself with it. Turning the water slightly hotter you wash your hair and enjoy the heat on your shoulders. Stepping out of the shower, you wrap yourself in a towel and head back into the bedroom. Heading into the room you are met with the sight of Josh sitting in the chair in the corner, reading a book.

“Oh gosh, you scared me!” You squeak.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to scare you while you were in the shower! Coffee is on the dresser for you.” He smiles.

“Thank you.” You smile back, clutching the towel around your body.

“I’ll step out so you can get dressed, then I thought maybe we could go for a drive? I have one more errand to run.” He asks.

“Okay.” You giggle excitedly.

You quickly dress and run a brush through your hair, braiding it down your back.

A few minutes later you step out of the bedroom with your coffee and find Josh sitting on a barstool in the kitchen looking at his phone. When he hears you approach he immediately turns to you with a smile.

“Well don’t you look cute? Hmm... you smell good too.” He says knowingly, before reaching his hand out to you. You grab it as he pulls you in, resting his hands in the back pocket of your jeans and pulling you in for a kiss. The butterflies begin stirring in your stomach.

“What do you think? Wanna go for a drive? I have to drop off this signed contract to our agent, he lives a little outside of town. There could be more coffee involved if you're good…” He says cheerfully.

“Yes! That sounds nice!” You reply walking over to the door to put your shoes on.

“Tonight I have a surprise for you, and then I am taking you out on that date.” He smiles devilishly. The inflection in his voice sending a shiver up your spine.

He stands up and walks to the door, grabbing his keys and ushering you outside.

As you get into the car you agree with him about it being a pretty day. With so many days of rain lately it’s nice to see the sunshine.

“Okay, connect your phone to the bluetooth. You are going to be our DJ.” He smiles.

Oh gosh, no pressure….

You click through the process of connecting your phone.

“Alright, let’s see…. Did that work?” You say, clicking the button.

“Yep, okay you’re up.” He replies with a smirk.

You scroll through Spotify, looking for something to fit the mood. Smiling when you see the right song.

You hit play and ‘The Air That I Breathe’ by The Hollies begins to play through the car speakers.

Josh turns his head to you, a smile plastered across his beautiful face.

Oh thank god, he approves.

“What a choice...” He says, still smiling, returning his eyes to the road.

He begins to sing along to the chorus, rolling down the windows and sticking his arm out into the cool air. The wind is blowing his curls around and his smile is so infectious and warm you find yourself smiling too. You capture this image in your mind. Your heart couldn’t be more full than it is right now.

As the next song begins to play, he turns to you when he hears them begin to sing. “Oh, they were on the road with us a little bit this year.”

You smile and laugh at the insanity that is his life. Just traveling around the world with his brothers and other talented artists. He turns down the volume and places his hand on the back of your neck, playing with your braid.

“We are leaving in a day or two, going on a quick press tour for the album. I think it will only be a week. Maybe a week and a half? We only finalized the plans a day ago….” He says nervously.

“Oh…. are you gonna miss me?” You say playfully.

“Of course, except this time when I’m gone and dreaming about you, I can think about the real thing and how you’re all mine.” he smiles.

“Oh, you’re such a suck-up.” You laugh.

He pulls into a driveway a little while later and grabs the paperwork out of the back seat before dashing up to the front door. You can see him talking and laughing with the guy, pointing back at the car with his thumb before patting his shoulder and heading back to you.

“Okay, work is done for the day. I’m all yours now.” He smiles, kissing your cheek. He backs out of the driveway. “Do you want another coffee? There is a cool place over here.” he asks.

“Is there a drive-thru?” You ask.

“You read my mind.” He smiles swirling your hair around his fingers.

A few minutes later you have ordered and are waiting to receive it at the window. As the barista slides the window open you can tell she recognizes Josh, her eyes growing large.

“Uh…. Here you go…” she says nervously, reaching her arm out the window.

“Thanks,” he says, flashing her his signature dazzling smile.

“My friends are not going to believe me when I tell them you came through the drive-thru.” She says, laughing.

“Well it’s so nice to meet you, maybe I will see you here again sometime. Thanks!” He says, pulling forward.

“Wow… Mr. Celebrity, huh? Ahhh the life of a rockstar…” You say coyly, sipping your coffee.

He digs his fingers into your rib cage, tickling you. “Hush it up baby, you are part of that life now.”

The sentiment warms your heart.

A few songs later you are arriving back at his house. He is flitting about the house, doing random things while you scroll your phone on the couch. He walks out the front door, returning a few moments later with a bag and wiggling his eyebrows at you as he heads to the bedroom.

He returns a minute later and sits next to you on the couch, throwing his arm over your shoulder.

“What was that?” You ask questioningly.

“You’ll see later.” He says suspiciously.

Hmmm… he is up to something.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls it out and clicks on the text. He shoots his eyes at you.

“Ummm….Jake wants to stop by…. How do you feel about that?” He asks.

“Uh… does he… know?” You ask.

“Kind of…? He knows something is up. He is my twin after all.” He jokes.

“If you are comfortable with it, then I trust you.” You reply, grabbing his hands.

He leans in and presses his lips to yours softly, “He won’t say anything baby, I promise.”

You nod your head, and he texts him back.

A little bit later as you scroll through social media, a knock sounds out on his front door and suddenly you are nervous and your body goes rigid under his arm.

“It’s all good, just relax, okay?” He says reassuringly rubbing your shoulder. He gives you a kiss on the cheek and stands up to walk to the door.

As he opens the front door, you make eye contact with Jake almost instantly, his eyebrows raising slightly in surprise. He smirks at Josh and makes his way inside.

“Hello doll….” He says with a smile.

“Hello Jake.” You reply.

“Fancy seeing you here.” He says, walking further into the house, placing his sunglasses on top of his head.

“Jake, stop.” Josh quips.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I didn’t know you were here.” He says.

“You’re not interrupting anything, we are just hanging out.” You reply nonchalantly.

“So Joshua, I was coming over to harass you about that riff I sent you earlier. You read my text and didn’t reply. Did you listen to it?” He asks.

“Nope.” He says popping the P. “Been busy. Went and dropped off that paperwork this morning, we just got back a little while ago. I will listen to it. Promise.” He replies, but Jake doesn’t like that answer.

“Do you mind if I steal him away for a few minutes?” Jake asks, looking at you.

“No, be my guest.” You smile, knowing Josh is going to pitch a fit.

“We have to do this right now Jacob?” He sneers, knowing that he hates being called by his full name.

“Yeah, pretty much.” He laughs throwing his arm over his shoulder basically pushing Josh into his office.

A few minutes later you hear a guitar playing through the closed door. It goes silent for a few minutes and then again it starts back up, this time slightly different.

The door reopens and they both come waltzing out.

Jake cuts his eyes to Josh, “Alright now that that is taken care of… what’re you two getting into this evening?” He asks.

“I am taking her down to Franklin, we are going on a date.” He replies.

“Ahh, a date, huh? Well, have fun you two.” He says raising his eyebrows at Josh, who nods his head in response.

They are doing that twin telepathy thing….

“Was a pleasure as always…” He says, walking out the door and nodding his head to you.

“I’ll be right back. ” Josh says, following him out the door.

A few minutes later he walks back in, smiling to himself. You love seeing him interact with his brother, their relationship always warming your heart.

“Okay, sorry about that. He isn’t going to say anything. He knows better.” He says.

“All good.” You smile.

The rest of the afternoon is spent lounging, snacking, and starting a movie. When you both start to get tired you decide to turn it off and put an album on instead. A while later Josh turns to you excitedly.

“Are you ready for your surprise?” He asks and you nod your head in anticipation.

He motions for you to follow him to the bedroom. As you step up to the door he stops you and grabs your face, giving you a long and slow kiss.

“Okay, don’t feel obligated by any means…. I just thought maybe….ah I need to stop talking. Okay go ahead.” He says, opening the door.

You step into the room and on the bed there is a whole outfit laid out for you. You look over your shoulder and he shrugs, smiling.

“Josh when did you… when did you have time to go do this?” You ask, shocked.

“This morning, while you were sleeping.” He smiles proudly.

Ahhh so that’s where he was…

You walk up to the outfit, a black long sleeve sweater wrap dress with a deep V neckline and a bow that ties right at the waist. On top of the dress is a long gold chain necklace with a pendant at the end, and a navy blue silk lace bra. Arguably one of the prettiest pieces of lingerie you’ve ever seen.

“Josh, it’s gorgeous…I love this…” you say, holding up the bra. “But there are no panties….” You say suspiciously smirking at him.

A devilish smile crosses his face, “Oh, I know…get ready, we will need to leave soon.” He walks out of the room and shuts the door. Your cheeks flame at the thought of what he might have in mind for tonight.

Maybe he is a little more naughty than I thought…

You immediately strip out of your clothes and put on the new outfit, shocked at how good it looks and how perfectly it fits. The bra is just… breathtaking. You tie the black bow at your waist, the dress hugging every single curve just right. You pull your curling iron and makeup bag out and head for the bathroom. After about twenty minutes your hair is in big blown-out curls around your face and your makeup is done. You spray a little perfume and step back into the bedroom grabbing the gold necklace, the thin chain falling perfectly down the center of the low cut dress.

You slide on the shoes he picked out, somehow knowing your exact size, and they complete the outfit flawlessly. He has great taste. You look hot and you know he is going to lose his mind when you step out of the bedroom.

You swallow and open the door, walking down the hallway. He lets out a long breath when his eyes land on you.

“Oh my god, you are the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen.” He says, mouth open.

“Josh….” You say bashfully tapping your shoes on the floor.

“You know what, I changed my mind. We are staying here. No one else gets to look at you. You’re mine.” He says playfully, but his eyes have a dark gleam.

“Stop it…. It’s all you. You picked it out…you have really good taste. I love it. So much. Thank you.” You say, lovingly.

“Anything for you, my girl.” He says, reaching out and pulling you forward while kissing your hands. “Okay, there is a glass of wine for you on the counter. Give me 10 minutes to get a quick shower and get changed and then we will go.”

He walks down the hallway and into the bedroom. You hear the shower turn on and you smile, walking over to the glass of wine.

How does he know your favorite?

You sit on the bar stool, just enjoying the music playing on the turntable and sipping your wine. The alcohol already loosening up the nerves in your stomach. Josh knows exactly how to set the mood, spinning The Little Dippers song Forever on the turntable. He even has a candle lit.

Such a romantic.

Right on time, Josh steps out of the bedroom. He is in a pair of light tan denim pants, a white t-shirt with an olive green button down left unbuttoned over top. His hair looks soft and he smells divine.

He’s perfect. So effortlessly perfect.

You snake your arms around his waist as he approaches you. He leans his forehead down against yours and you take the opportunity to press your lips to his. So soft and warm. You almost take him up on his threat of not leaving the house, just so you can have him to yourself.

“You ready to go, love?” He asks.

You nod your head and he places his hand on the small of your back, leading you to the door. He blows out the candle and and turns off the record before he grabs his keys and locks the door behind him. He opens the car door for you with a smile.

Such a gentleman….

As you roll down the road he turns on a playlist that he knows you’ll like before grabbing your hand in his, holding it over the center console. He rubs his thumb over the soft underside of your wrist, causing goosebumps to cover your body.

“So where are we going?” You ask, breaking the silence.

“There is a restaurant I want to take you to. I think you’ll love it. The food is amazing and the drinks are even better. There are a lot of places I want to take you, but this one first.” He says, bringing your hand to his lips and pressing a soft kiss to the top.

A lit bit later you are stepping into the door of the restaurant. Josh is very prepared and of course made a reservation. He was really serious about the whole ‘real date’ thing. He is doing everything right.

The vibe of the restaurant is very cool, definitely a ‘Josh’ place. It’s got luscious green wingback chairs and modern wooden decor. A modern eclectic vibe.

As the host escorts you to your table Josh places his hand low on your back, almost too low for the public eye.

You look over to him and give him a smirk. He looks back, running his tongue over his bottom lip and biting.

A tingle down below takes you by surprise.

Josh pulls your chair out for you, pushing you in as you sit down. He takes his seat across from you and hands you the drink menu.

“What would you like baby? We can get a bottle, your choice.” He says.

“Red or white?” You ask him.

“Red for me.” He smiles.

“Settled.” you reply flirtatiously.

Soon after ordering the waiter brings the bottle, pouring two glasses of Malbec. He takes your order and leaves you and Josh alone to enjoy each other's company.

“Thank you for everything tonight, Josh. It means a lot to me that you have put so much thought into this.” You say, holding his hand across the table.

“I told you, you deserve everything. And I intend to give it to you.” He replies, lowering his voice with that last sentence. You feel a familiar ache in your lower stomach and adjust in your seat.

You sip your wine as you wait for your meals, the wine letting both of you relax and laugh about little things. Josh’s lips slightly stained from the red wine, and his beautiful smile out on full display. You love how talkative and giggly he gets when he drinks.

A girl nervously approaches your table, clearly one of Josh’s fans.

“Um, hi! I am so sorry to bother you but I just couldn’t leave without saying hi to you. I’m a really big fan, I love your music.” She gushes.

“Hi, nice to meet you! Thanks so much for your support, it means a lot to us.” He smiles at her. “Would you like to take a picture?” He asks her.

“Really? Are you sure?” She asks.

“Absolutely.” He says. He looks to you, “would you mind taking it, love?” He asks.

“Sure!” You reply with a smile.

You snap the photo on her cellphone and she is elated. “Thank you! It was so nice to meet you and I can't wait for your next album!” She says.

“It was so nice to meet you too. Have a great night and hopefully I’ll see you at a show sometime!” He replies with a smile.

She walks off and he sits back down with you. You smile at him, like the cat that ate the canary.

“Oh, hush….you know you’re my girl.” He says patting your hands. “Or do I need to remind you?” He says, giving you a look that sends a shiver down your spine.

“Maybe so, Mr. Kiszka.” You say in a sultry voice.

Your food arrives at the table and you are starving. Josh refills your wine glass and raises his glass for a toast.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight, there is no place in the world I would rather be than right here with you. To many more perfect nights together.” He says.

You blush and clink your glass with his. His eyes sparkle in the dim lighting and you feel a flutter in your chest.

You chat over your meals, his leg rubbing up against yours under the table throughout the entirety. The wine has elicited a sense of arousal in both of you.

Your legs are crossed under the table and a thought runs through your mind... You lift your foot to gently graze his inner thigh.

“Oh… sweetheart that is a dangerous game.” He says in his quiet lower register.

“I like dangerous games….” You reply, continuing the motion and getting dangerously close to the bulge that you’ve created.

“I know you do. But trust me, baby….” He says grabbing your ankle forcefully in his grip, “This game has its consequences.”

“Oh yeah? What kind of consequences?” You ask, licking the edge of your wine glass.

“Oh, keep it up…you’ll find out.” He replies pointedly.

“Maybe I want to find out….” You say, taking a sip of the wine and keeping your eyes locked with his.

“Then, by all means. Please continue….” He says throwing back the rest of his wine.

You bite your pointed finger between your teeth, before running it down your chin, over your neck and stopping as you reach the thin gold chain laying perfectly between your tits.

He bites his cheek and shakes his head, smiling. He reaches down to adjust himself as discreetly as possible. Your arousal pools between your legs, reminding you that you are naked underneath your dress. You aren’t sure what these consequences are, but you can't wait to find out.

You rub your legs together, desperate for some kind of friction. “I think I’m going to go to the bathroom before we leave…” you say, looking at him with telling eyes.

“That’s fine, but don’t you dare touch yourself in that bathroom, gorgeous, or the consequences will be doubled. I will know, trust me.” He replies.

Taken aback by his sudden cockiness, you nod your head with a smirk and excuse yourself.

How would he know if I just….

I better not…

Unless….

No.

Minutes later as you make your way back to the table you see a smirk flash across his face. “I see you heeded my warning. Good girl.”

You feel the arousal creeping down your center.

Good girl? Oh, I like this side of Josh…

“You like that? You like to be my good girl?” He asks seductively, noticing the change in your demeanor.

A side smile crosses your lips. You can’t hide how much this is turning you on.

“Oh, you do….” He says, nodding his head. His finger tapping his jawbone.

“I’m not always a good girl, Josh.…” You reply.

“Oh, I am well aware, beautiful.” He says, as the waiter brings the check. He doesn’t even open it or look at it. He slides his card in the top sending it back with him.

“You know, come to think of it… you have been kind of bad tonight…. Teasing me under the table….trying to touch yourself… What should I do about that, do you think?” He asks.

“What do you want to do about it, Josh?” You ask, almost whispering.

“I think you’re about to find out.” He says licking his lips.

You swallow nervously, but you’re extremely intrigued by this side of him that you haven’t seen before.

“I didn’t know you-” you start as he cuts you off.

“What? Didn’t think I could play this game too? There’s still a lot you don’t know about me.” He replies, signing the check before flicking his eyes back to yours, now dark with lust.

“Let’s go, baby, I have plans for us.” He says, pulling you out of your chair.

You bite your lip and quickly stand, grabbing your purse and pulling your dress down.

“Oh don’t bother sweetheart, it’s not going to matter in a few minutes.” He says, whispering in your ear as he escorts you out the front door. His hand slides down the swell of your ass. He looks over his shoulder to see if anyone is behind you before sliding his hand down to the hem of your dress, letting his fingers hook underneath the fabric tugging upward as his fingertips glide across your skin.

“Josh! Someone could see us!” You say, nervously.

“Let 'em. I told you this game had consequences, and you so willingly agreed.” The words rolling out of his perfect mouth.

You reach the car in the now almost empty parking lot across from the restaurant. To your surprise, he opens the back door of his car.

“After you…” he says, motioning you to climb in. You look at him with a suspicious look and he just smirks. Looking around before climbing in after you and shutting the door.

He grabs your waist and pulls you on top of him, straddling him in the backseat. His hands are all over you and your mouths connect, harsh and passionate. You grind yourself into him, feeling his rock hard erection on your bare center.

He kisses your neck, sucking on the sensitive flesh and lightly biting you, eliciting a groan from your mouth. Suddenly he releases you, putting you down in the seat next to him. He slides over to the opposite seat and leans into the window.

“Go ahead.” He says, folding his hands in his lap.

“What?” You say, panting.

“You wanted to touch yourself so bad in the restaurant….well… now you can. Go ahead. I’m going to watch you.” He says. Your eyes about bulge from your head.

Who is this, and what has he done with Josh?

Why is he so fucking hot?

“Lean against the door and face me. I am going to watch you touch yourself, gorgeous.” The words dripping from his lips like honey.

“Josh…” you say bashfully.

“Don’t act all shy now…. Rubbing your foot on my cock right in the middle of the goddamn restaurant. It’s a wonder I didn’t drag you to the bathroom and fuck you right there. Alas, here we are. I’m waiting.” He says, licking his lips.

You stare at him shocked, but you aren’t one to turn down a challenge. You like this side of Josh. You want him to stick around for a while s you press him further.

“And if I don’t?” You ask, leaning back against the door, running your hands up your thighs, lifting your dress up just a little higher on your legs, teasing him.

“Oh, you will. I know you will. You’ll do whatever I tell you. You want me to tell you exactly what to do. Look at you already pushing your dress up. Needy girl… You want me to watch you. You’re getting off on it aren’t you baby?” Josh asks.

He knows you.

He knows exactly how much it’s getting you off because he’s getting off on it too.

You shrug your shoulders and lean back further resting your head on the window. You slide your hand through your thighs and up your center.

“Pull your dress up.” He snaps.

“Now that wasn’t very nice, Mr. Kiszka.” You say, pulling your dress up and around your hips, leaving yourself exposed to him.

“In fact, take the dress off. I want to see that gorgeous blue lace on your skin. The dress was just a formality anyway. I have been thinking about what was underneath, and what…. wasn’t… this whole time.” He says.

“You are very demanding you know.” You say, pulling the dress over your head.

“Fucking stunning.” He breathes. “Now touch yourself, my patience is growing thin.”

You flick your eyes to him and slide your hand down as you begin to circle your clit. Your mouth opens as you finally feel some relief. A hiss escapes from his mouth and you slide your fingers through your center, collecting your wetness and returning back to your clit. You notice his breathing become heavier, his gaze never leaving you.

“You wish it were you don’t you Joshy…” you say.

He doesn’t respond, just biting his lips as he watches you work yourself for a minute or two. A moan escapes your lips as your hips gently bow upward. You are close.

“Stop.” He says.

Your eyes flick to his. You don’t stop.

“Don’t make me say it again. You aren’t going to cum yet. Not until I say so.” He demands, effectively denying your release.

Your hand stops, and you bring your fingers up to your lips. Sucking on them slowly, challenging him with your eyes. He chuckles and shakes his head.

“I’m going to fuck you, but it’s going to be quick. Can’t get caught like this.” He says, grabbing your arms and pulling you back to him. He fumbles with his belt buckle, quickly unbuttoning his pants and pushing his boxers down. He pulls you to straddle him.

You press your lips to his, entangling your fingers into his hair like you have imagined all night.

He grabs his cock and lines it up with your center, grabbing your ass and lifting you up. You feel the tip of him pressing at your opening. Neither of you able to wait any longer you both move toward each other, groaning at the mutual sense of relief as he fills you.

He presses kisses to your neck, his hands slamming your hips into his at a rapid pace. You hear him whisper, his hot breath against your neck.

“You’ve been a bad girl tonight…you think you deserve this cock?” He asks.

“I think all bad girls need a reminder of why they should be good.” You say. You feel him twitch inside of you, clearly enjoying your response.

“Well let me give you that reminder….” He says, thrusting into you impossibly hard, a scream leaving your chest.

“That’s right baby, scream for me. Tell me you’re sorry. That you’ll be a good girl from now on.” He says, continuing to thrust into you.

“I’m waiting….” He says, his hands releasing your tits from the silky blue fabric.

“If you’re gonna fuck me like this when I’m bad, then I’ll never be good…” you cry out between breaths.

“Wrong answer baby… try again.” He says hitting your g spot, continually. His hand reaches up and wraps around your throat.

Holy fuck, I never thought I’d see the day…

“Josh, I’m gonna cum…” you cry out.

He stops moving and releases his hand. “No, you’re not. Not until you apologize for being such a tease.”

“No, you’re edging me. You’re being the tease.” You reply, lifting yourself up and down, begging for him to continue.

“If you don’t like it, why are you moaning?” He whispers into your ear, resuming thrusting into you. You throw your head back and you clench around him.

“God damn it, you feel so good.” He grunts. “Say it. Say it so you can cum baby.”

Desperate for release you admit defeat. “I’m sorry, fuck Josh…. I’m sorry I was such a tease. I’ll be a good girl, I promise….” You cry out.

“Fucking right you will. My good fuckin’ girl. Come for me, angel.” He says.

Like magic his words send your head spinning as your body is flooded with the high of your orgasm. You clench around him as you max out on pleasure. His name leaving your lips.

His hips falter and his breathing becomes erratic as he reaches his own release, spilling inside of you with a final thrust of his hips. His hands tighten on your hips, pushing himself as deep as he can reach.

He rests his forehead on your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your collarbone. “That was…” he struggles to find the words.

Instead of letting him finish his thought, you press your lips to his letting your tongue swirl with his for a few seconds before pulling back. You lift yourself off of him and find your dress.

“Get yourself together Mr. Kiszka, you still have to drive us home.” You say, pulling the dress over your head and opening the door, walking to the passenger side, and climbing in.

The drive home is relatively silent. Both of you knowing that if either one of you speak you would never make it home, instead pulling off on a side road and going at it again. Your hands tease each other the entire way home. His rubbing circles on your inner thigh, you gently grazing his hard length over his pants. A groan leaving his mouth every so often and his knuckles white gripping the steering wheel. After what feels like an eternity you are pulling into his driveway, you both collect your things and rush inside.

Josh barely lets you walk through the door before pushing you up against it, furiously kissing your neck, his hands pulling up the bottom of the dress.

“Josh…” you breathe out.

“Hmmmm…” he groans against your skin.

“Let’s go into the bedroom.” You whisper.

He pulls away from you and grabs your hand. He locks the front door behind you before pulling you down the hallway. As you reach the bedroom door he pushes it open and flings you inside.

“Get undressed. I will be right back.” He says, walking back out of the room.

You pull off the dress and the bra before taking off the necklace and slipping into the bed. He returns a few minutes later with two glasses of what you’re pretty sure is Whiskey, offering one to you.

You throw back the entirety of it, ready to have him on you again. He watches and throws his back as well, following suit.

“Thirsty?” He asks.

“Are you?” You quip back.

“For you? Always.” He answers.

The alcohol is warming your skin, your cheeks growing hot and flushing pink.

He leads you to sit on the bed next to him and takes your glass from your hand, placing it on the nightstand with his own.

Josh grabs your face between his thumb and forefinger. “You tell me to stop if it gets to be too much.” He demands.

“I won’t.” You reply quietly.

His lips press to yours, biting your lip and pulling it between his teeth, drawing blood. A gasp leaving your mouth at the sting of his bite, and the irony taste in your mouth.

You kiss him back harder, digging your fingers into his scalp. He grabs your wrists from behind his head and pins them down to the bed, above your head.

“No, we are going to do it my way. You had your fun earlier.” He says.

Your eyes widen staring directly into his, desperate for more of him.

“I want to try something, do you trust me?” He asks, his eyes searching yours for permission. You are intrigued, immediately nodding your head feverishly.

“Of course, Josh. I’m yours. However you want me...” He smiles at your words and lays you down on the bed, positioning your head on the pillow leaving you slightly propped up. He climbs over you, positioning his knee so it is pressed right against your clit. You grind your hips forward, hoping to feel a bit of relief.

“So needy already, we haven’t even started.” he whispers in your ear. Your eyes flutter closed as you try to center yourself and relax. You open them again when you hear glass clinking, finding Josh fishing out an ice cube. You shiver in anticipation, mind racing at what he has planned. You had no idea he could be so adventurous in the bedroom but you’re loving every minute of it.

“Okay baby, this might be cold at first. But I promise I will warm you up.” He reassures you, taking the ice cube and dragging it down your neck towards your chest. The cold sensation causes goosebumps to rise on your skin.

He follows the path he is making with his tongue, the mixture of the icy water and his hot breath feels intense but in a good way. It makes you hyper aware of his mouth and how it feels against your skin. He trails the cube down your sternum and then onto your breasts. He does this painfully slow, watching intently at his own movements, and you are writhing in anticipation. You whimper involuntarily, hoping he will take the hint and give you some relief with his mouth. His eyes snap up to yours and he laughs lightly. “Do you need something, baby?”

“Josh, please. I’m freezing. Need you.” You sound pathetic at this point but you don’t care. “I could get used to you saying that.” He smirks and lowers his head. He begins working his tongue over your nipples, flicking it over them rapidly and causing the ache between your legs to intensify. You buck your hips up, desperate for any sort of touch where you need him most. He brings his hand to your hip and firmly holds it down.

“Uh, uh. Patience, darling.” he narrows his eyes and starts to lower himself down your body. You groan at the loss of contact between your legs as he takes his knee away.

He trails wet kisses down your torso and stomach, taking his sweet time to drag his tongue with each kiss. After what feels like forever he is finally hovering right above your center. He takes the ice cube that is now melting rapidly in his hand and slides it up and down your slick center. The feeling causes you to squirm under him. His eyes watch every move he makes, and his fixation with your body mixed with the cold of the ice makes you feel out of your mind with need.

After a few seconds, the ice cube is gone and he lowers his head to you, licking a hot stripe from your core to your clit. You groan at the feeling, the temperature change causing the sensation to be more intense than usual. You whine his name again, hoping he is ready to show you some mercy.

“Beg all you want, sweetheart but no cumming until I say so. You still have a lesson to learn.” He looks up at you as he laps his tongue against your sensitive bud. Licking it gently and slowly, knowing it is driving you crazy. It’s almost painful how bad you need to feel more. You grasp at his hair, pushing his face deeper into your groin. He removes your arms and pins your wrists against the bed.

All of a sudden his tongue picks up the pace, he moans against you, and the vibrations cause you to lift your hips again. This time he lets you, taking the opportunity to use his fingers on his now free hand. He slowly pushes two fingers inside of you and you gasp as he curls them up, hitting the perfect spot immediately. You start to bounce up and down, too impatient to wait for him to move faster.

“Fuck, you look so hot getting yourself off on my fingers. Does that feel good, baby?” his words only push you closer to the edge you are barely standing on.

“Josh, please?” you make eye contact with him and bite your lip, silently asking for your release.

“No.” he quickly pulls his fingers out and flips you over so you are on your knees facing away from him. He roughly grabs you by your hips and pulls you back so your ass is against his pelvic bones. He drags his cock up and down your folds, teasing you by entering the tip with each pass over your center. You back yourself up, trying to take matters into your own hands.

“You want it that bad, baby? Aching to feel me inside you? Such a needy little thing. Fuck I love it…” his voice is so low, and your lower stomach is absolutely on fire with desire.

Finally, he pushes into you, and without any time for adjustment, he is thrusting at a fast and hard pace. Your breath is taken away at the sudden fullness. His dick hits the spot you need each time, and you can feel yourself getting close once again. Your breath is loud now, and he can tell you aren’t going to last much longer.

“Already ready to cum for me, baby? Go ahead, you’ve waited long enough. I want to feel how good I make you feel.” he wraps his arm around you and begins circling your clit with the pad of his middle finger, coaxing you to your climax. Within seconds your vision goes white and you’re riding the wave of euphoria as your orgasm rushes over you.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful. Feels so good. I’m right there too, going to fill you up.” his voice begins to trail off and his breathing gets erratic. He moans your name amongst other expletives and you feel his release pulsing inside of you.

Pulling out slowly, he slides your hair over your shoulder and peppers soft kisses up your back. You flip yourself over and lay your head on the pillow, grabbing his arm and pulling him down next to you.

Enjoying the post orgasm glow you both lay there in each others arms, both panting trying to catch your breath.

A few minutes later you go to stand to head to the bathroom, and he pushes you back down and tells you he will go and be right back. He returns with a warm washcloth and lets you finish the job after his initial attempt. He grabs it back from you, walking to the bathroom and then returning to you.

“Want your normal shirt?” He asks, holding it up.

“Yes....” You smirk back.

He reaches into your bag and then throws you a pair of panties and the t shirt. He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and rejoins you in the bed. You are both absolutely exhausted and immediately curl into each other's arms. He turns off the light and sighs into your neck.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight Josh, and for everything before and after. It was perfect. I love it.” You say, barely a whisper.

“I would do anything for you, love.” He replies, turning your face and kissing your lips. “Anything.” He repeats pulling you into him closer.

“I didn’t know you could be so... you’re always so sweet and gentle. I didn’t know if you would ever… be with me in that way.” You stammer.

“I told you, baby, there is a lot you still don’t know about me. But you’re right. I typically like the gentle passionate sex more, or at least I thought. Tonight was… different. I liked it. No. I loved it. I don’t know if we will be able to have gentle sex again any time soon. The look in your eyes? Fuck me… When we both came in the car like that? You’re just so… sexy and confident and… breathtakingly gorgeous… I was always afraid of hurting you but, now I know you like it to hurt, and so do I.” He says.

“I loved it too, Josh. But I love our gentle sex too. I like both. Love both.” You reply.

“Me too, my love.” He whispers.

You’re unsure if it was the wine, the sex or the whiskey, but you are exhausted and already drifting off to sleep.

The warm fuzzy feeling in your chest? That is from Josh. Without a doubt.

JOSH POV

Pain. Massive headache.

Groaning as you force your eyes open you are met with the blurry sight of hair in your face. Neither of you must have moved last night, both exhausted. You remove your hand from her hip and swipe her hair out of your eyes smoothing it over her pillow. She is still sleeping, her breathing is deep and even.

You roll slightly to grab your phone from the nightstand it shows 2 unread texts. You open the messages and see it's Daniel, having texted you at 3 in the morning.

Daniel: IMAGE

Daniel: Well isn’t that sweet…

What the hell?

You click on the image and it’s a photo from last night, taken from across the restaurant. Pictured is the both of you at the table, her hands interlocked with yours over the table and her foot twisted with your leg underneath, a smile on your faces.

Shit. Where did he get this?

You immediately open Instagram and are met with hundreds of notifications. You swipe them away, looking at your tagged photos and you see it. The girl you met last night. She posted the photo of the two of you, but as you swipe through you also see the offending photo of you and your beautiful date.

Shit. Have they already found her? They are going to attack her. You have to get out ahead of this. This is not how you wanted anyone to find out.

Realizing that there really isn’t anything you can do at this point, you close the app and go back to your texts with Daniel. You sit there, heart pounding trying to think of something to say that would explain the situation, but you can't.

You: I was going to talk to you about it soon.

To your surprise, he replies quickly.

Daniel: How long?

You: A week or so, we were going to just keep it to ourselves for a while. But apparently that wasn’t in the cards. I’m sorry dude, I would have much rather told you myself than have you find out like this.

Daniel: I can’t say I’m surprised and it’s okay, I get it. I have always known there was something with you two. Just take care of her.

You: I promise I will. Bigger issue is the shit storm she’s about to get when people figure out who she is. She is grossly unprepared.

Daniel: Yeah I would make that priority number one this morning, people are already talking.

Josh: Great…I’m on it. Thanks for the heads up. Thankfully one of us knows how to use social media…

Daniel: Lol, of course.

She stirs next to you, you lock your phone and set it back on the table.

She rolls over to face you, “Good morning…” she says placing a soft kiss to your ribs. A shiver runs through your body at the feel of her lips on your skin.

“Good morning beautiful girl.” You reply kissing her forehead.

“I know you just woke up but I need to talk to you…” you say nervously.

You see a look of panic cross her face.

“No, no, nothing like that….The girl that we met last night…. She posted photos.” You say.

“Yeah, I took them, they were good!” She says confused.

“No, baby. Of us. Together. They are on socials.” You say softly.

Concern crosses her face. “Oh…” is all she says.

“I have already been texted about it this morning, Daniel sent it to me at like 3am.” You say. “Not exactly how I wanted him to find out… but he seems to be okay with it.” You say reassuringly.

She nods, unsure of how to respond.

“But that's not the issue… fans are going to start speculating. I just want you to prepare yourself. Most are sweet and really are the greatest people but sometimes they can be cruel for no reason and say things just to get at you.” You say rubbing her arm. “Just wanted you to know. Do you want to see the picture?” You ask and she nods her head yes.

You grab your phone and pull up the photo, showing it to her.

“At least we look cute together.” She says smiling up at you.

“We do.” You kiss her face and set your phone back on the table.

“Just don’t want anything to ruin this. I wanted to keep you to myself, but it seems the universe has other plans.” You say.

“Always does…” She hums.

“Coffee?” You ask her and she nods eagerly.

HER POV

“Okay, beautiful. I will be back in about a week or so. I will miss you!” He says, pressing a kiss to your lips.

“Have fun, be careful. Come back to me in one piece!” You giggle.

“Be back before you know it.” He says smiling, his car pulling out of the parking lot of your apartment complex.

You wave goodbye and head back inside to start getting ready for work. A few hours later you find yourself standing behind the bar, wishing your favorite guys would walk in. It's so quiet when they aren’t here. Just hushed conversations and the sound of billiards balls smacking together. Luckily this shift and the next 3 shifts go by quickly and easily. There would only be a few more days until they came back to provide your nightly entertainment.

Each day that they have been gone Josh has texted you cool photos of the places they were, texted you that he misses you and can’t wait to get back to you, and called you each night as he goes to bed. He is really putting in that 100% effort he promised and you feel a sense of happiness that it wasn’t an empty promise that you have become so accustomed to.

As you stand behind the bar tonight the bell rings over the door and a new face walks in. You haven’t seen her before, and you’ll definitely need to ID her.

She looks young…

A few minutes later another girl walks in to join her, and they are sitting at a table in the corner, talking and looking back at you.

God, what are they looking at?

A few minutes later they approach the bar.

“Hi, can I ask you a question? It's gonna sound crazy…” one girl asks.

“Go ahead…” you reply cautiously.

“Have you heard of Greta Van Fleet?” She asks.

Your eyes widen and you realize they are here looking for the guys.

“Yeah, I have…” you say.

The other girl begins to talk, “So… we heard they hang out here sometimes. Is that true?”

Unsure if you should out their nightly routine you avoid answering the question and shake your head dismissively.

“So they do come here….” One of the girls says pointedly.

“No, I didn’t say that.” You reply harshly.

“You didn’t answer?” She says.

“Because it’s not your business.” You reply. “How old are you two? If you’re not over 21, you both need to leave.” You say.

“Oh my god, she's the girl from the picture.” She says, hitting her friend on the arm.

She grabs her phone and pulls up the photo and they both quickly realize that it is in fact you in the picture.

“You’re dating Josh Kiszka?” They both ask shocked.

“What? You two should go…” You reply.

“This is you in the picture, is it not?” She asks showing you the photo.

Flicking your eyes to the photo, you look away after you see it.

“Again, it’s not your business and this is inappropriate. I think you should both leave.” You reply harshly.

“You know, you don’t seem like someone Josh would date. You’re kind of a bitch.” She quips back.

“Excuse me? And just how would you know what kind of person Josh would date? It's sad you think you know anything about him....You're pathetic… get out.” You demand.

The girls stare at each other for a second before turning back to you.

“You’re gonna wish you never said that…” she says, stepping away from the counter and walking out the door.

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

Text

Crave (Chapter 3)

Word count: 9.3k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

JOSH POV

“Josh…I'm so sorry, I know I fucked up. I should never have said the things I did. You were right, about everything. You've been right! I do need you. I’ll always need you.” She cries looking up at you, rain dripping from her coat.

What is going on?

You let out an exasperated sigh, realizing that she is upset after yet another fight with Danny. What else could you have been right about?

God damn it. I knew this was going to happen again. How many times is he going to fuck this up?

Her state this time is the worst you’ve seen yet. You can tell she has been crying for a while, her eyes are puffy and her face red and splotchy. You quickly grab her arm, pulling her in from the pouring rain, helping her take off the soaking wet coat.

Her last words replay in your mind, “I’ll always need you.” and you hope she means that.

“Oh god, what’s wrong?” You ask desperately as she continues to cry, the sobs racking through her small frame even harder now.

You pull her in to you by her hands, wrapping your arms all the way around her. You feel her rigid posture soften a bit and can’t help but feel good about that. You can tell she feels comfortable with you, and that’s all you could hope for.

“I’m so sorry, Josh. About everything. I have messed this up since the beginning. It wasn’t meant to happen this way. Everything is so fucked up.” She says through her sobs.

“Oh, no…its okay….shhh shhh” you say, cradling her head against your shoulder.

I have to help her calm down, what the hell brought this on? This feels big.

“What happened? What's going on?” You ask.

“I’m sorry I said I didn’t need you, I do need you. I always need you.” She cries into your chest.

Fuck, she is really torn up about our argument today. Sure, I was mad in the moment, but I would never hold it against her.

“I’m here, I promise I’m here, just tell me why you’re upset.” You ask again.

She pulls away from you, trying to wipe her tears on her sleeve but it’s no use. Her clothes are soaking wet and she is shivering. You hate seeing her like this. You just want to wrap her up in your arms and take all of the pain away.

“Actually, let’s get you some dry clothes. I’ll make you some tea, and then we can talk. Okay?” You ask, swiping your thumb across her cheek and collecting a tear that is rolling down.

She nods her head and follows you into your bedroom. You praise yourself inwardly for remembering to clean up earlier. You dig though your drawers pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants.

“Here, the bathroom is right there. You go change and then meet me in the kitchen.” You say, running your hand down her arm.

She disappears into the bathroom and you hear her turn on the faucet. A few minutes later she steps out of the hallway and into the kitchen. Your heart swells at the sight of your t-shirt hanging on her just right.

She looks amazing in my clothes. Like they were made to be worn by her.

“Almost done, just needs a few more minutes.” You say gently, motioning to the kettle on your stovetop.

“Why are you being so nice to me? I was awful to you. I would hate me if I were you.” She asks, her gaze held downward. You reach out and tip her chin up with your index finger.

“There is nothing you could say to change the way I feel about you. It can’t just turn on and off. I may keep most of it to myself, but the feelings that I have for you have not dulled since the moment I met you. I hope you know that.” You stare intently into her eyes, hoping she sees that you truly mean it. You notice her cheeks turning a shade of pink.

“Now, do you want to talk about it? Or we could just sit for a while? We can just exist here in the same place together and I would be happy with that too.” You say.

“No, I want to talk about it. I need to. I have so much to say to you, and I need you to hear it. I need you to understand.” She replies.

“Well I am here and I am listening.” You say with a smile, your heartbeat increasing in anticipation of what she is about to say.

You hand her the mug and lead her to the couch. She sits down facing you and you follow suit. You scoot close to her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them for encouragement.

“Everything you said today… it was completely right. I am so sorry I didn’t listen to you Josh." she starts.

"Tonight at the bar, when you didn't walk in, I was so sad. I wanted so badly for you to be there. It just felt wrong… I thought you had come late, when I heard the bell ring. I hoped it was you. But it wasn’t. It was Olivia. She came to the bar to return the shirt that she borrowed from Danny last night. When she spent the night in his bed. I wanted to curl up and die right there. The only thing I could think about was you. I wished you were there, you would have known exactly what to do. You always know exactly what to say to make me feel better. But you weren’t there, and it was my fault.” She says, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Oh, I made it worse. I was trying to give her space…

“No, don’t blame yourself. I just…I couldn’t bare the thought of seeing you with him tonight. It was me, I was being selfish. I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I wish I could go back, I would have taken care of you.” You say, swiping the tear away from her face.

I hate seeing her cry.

“Jake talked to me afterwards. He helped me realize that everything that I have been pretending wasn’t there, really was deep down. Everything that has been there all along.” She says.

Jacob… I should have known.

“After work I went straight to Danny’s. I made him explain everything and he told me everything that I kept telling myself wasn’t happening. I told him that sometimes the things we love can be bad for us, and we have to give them up. I ended it, I cant let him treat me like that and he agreed. I will always be the consolation prize…to her. We were like oil and water, we were never going to work. He has too much to work out on his own, and I need more than that.” She says.

“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you… You deserve more than that. I’m glad he finally sees that too. I am so sorry all of this happened tonight while I wasn’t there. I am so so sorry.” You say pulling her into your chest, wrapping your arms around her, just holding her there breathing her in. You are shattered that she is having to deal with this.

I should have been there tonight. I thought it would be best to give us both some time, we were both so upset after lunch. Maybe it is for the best that I wasn’t there, I don’t know if I could have kept my mouth shut between Olivia and Daniel.

“Josh, I am so sorry I put you through all of this. This entire situation has been a mess since day one, I regret almost every choice I’ve made. I don’t know if I will ever be able to truly express to you how badly I wish I could go back and do things differently. Make different choices.” she whispers into your chest.

“You’re here with me now and that’s all I need. When you’re with me nothing else matters.” You reply, kissing the top of her head.

“Will you stay with me tonight? Here?” You ask nervously.

“Josh are you sure? I can sleep on the couch, I don’t want to intrude.” She says.

“Do you really think for one second that I am ever letting you out of my arms again?” You say.

She looks up at you, her eyes soft and hurting, almost begging for you to make the pain stop.

“Don’t look at me like that, I can’t take it.” You say.

“Like what?” She whispers.

“Like you feel the same way I do.” You say softly.

You can tell she wants to say it, but she doesn’t.

She runs her fingertips over your cheekbone, “Can we go to bed?” She asks.

You nod your head and smile, standing up and offering your hand to her.

You intertwine your fingers with hers as you walk down the hallway. You step into the bedroom and you grab the duvet cover, pulling it back, “You can take either side, it doesn’t matter to me.” You say smiling.

You pull your shirt over your head and take off your shorts, leaving you in just your boxers, before you slide into the cold sheets next to her. You turn the lamp off and turn onto your side facing her.

Your hand searches for hers and as you find it, she begins to run her fingertips up and down the underside of your arm, eliciting a groan from your mouth.

It feels so, good. I’ve been waiting to feel this again, I wasn’t sure if it was ever going to. How is this reality?

“Josh?” She whispers.

“Yes?” You reply.

“Can you forgive me? I understand if it will take some time.” She asks.

Oh, sweetheart… If only you knew.

You place your hand on her soft face. “I forgave you the minute I left today. I could never stay mad at you.” You say, kissing her forehead.

Another minute or two passes lying in the dark.

“Josh?” She asks again

“Yeah, beautiful?”

“Can you do that again?” She asks nervously.

“Do what?” You reply.

“Kiss me.” She says.

You slowly lean your face into hers and press a featherlight kiss onto her perfect full lips. That same warmth washing over your body like it did the first time you kissed her. You pull away slowly.

“It’s always been you, you know.” You whisper, running your fingers through her hair.

“I know.” She replies, inching closer to your body and stealing your warmth.

You wrap your arms around her body and pull her closer into your chest, your bodies fitting together just right. You nestle your head into her neck, and whisper, “Let me show you what love is supposed to look like.”

You entangle your fingers with hers, pressing them against her chest and you drift off to sleep in sweet company of the one that truly feels like home.

When your eyes pop open at 7:00 on the dot you inwardly curse at your stupid internal clock, still exhausted from being up so late.

The sheets near your feet move and you look over, seeing her figure wrapped in your sheets.

It wasn’t a dream.

Her hair is cascading over the edge of the pillow case, landing in shimmery pools against the white sheets. Your fingertips trace circles into the ends of her hair as her feet move to intertwine with yours.

Is she awake?

You place your hand on softly on her waist and pull yourself closer to her resting your head behind hers. You breathe in the smell of her, which also smells a little like you since she is in your clothes. You slowly slide your hand through her arms and wrap her up pulling her into your chest. Her hand lifts up and finds its way to the back your head, running lightly across your hair before resting on your face.

She is awake.

“How long have you been awake?” You whisper.

Her voice is groggy and quiet. “Mmm, only a few minutes.” She says, rolling in your arms to face you.

“Did you sleep okay?” You ask.

“I did, better than I have in a while.” She says with a smirk.

You smile and pull her into you, hugging her, wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

“Oh… this is the best way to wake up.” You say into her hair. “What do you want to do today?”

She pulls back and looks at you. “Don’t you have to work?” She asks.

“Nope, we are all off today… we needed a little break. So this is actually good timing.” You say.

“Oh, well I don’t want to intrude on your day. I’m sure there are tons of things you need to do.” She says.

She just doesn’t get it.

“There is nothing that I want to do more than spend the day with you.” You say.

She smiles her beautiful smile and kisses your cheek.

“Coffee? Tea? What do you drink in the morning?” You ask her, standing up out of the bed.

“Usually coffee.” She replies.

“Okay, be right back.” You say, walking down the hallway, to the kitchen.

A few minutes later you hear her footsteps as she pads down the hall and into the kitchen, snaking her hands around your waist and resting her chin on your shoulder.

“Thanks for letting me stay last night, and for talking to me, and holding me. Everything feels… right.” She says.

Everything is exactly how it’s meant to be.

“Of course, I couldn’t let you leave. The rain was horrible!” You joke.

“Oh that’s why you wanted me to stay?” She replies laughing.

“Well, that and this.” You say, spinning in her arms and pressing your lips to hers.

She feels so perfect. I hope this never ends.

She places her hand to rest on your neck as she presses her lips harder into yours.

It’s as if time stops, like the room is spinning in slow motion around you… as if you have been reaching your hand out to hers and she finally grabs it for the first time.

She feels the same way. You can feel it.

You pull your face back from hers and stare into her beautiful eyes.

“Tell me you felt that too.” You say.

“I felt it.” She says, kissing your lips again quickly.

She doesn’t need to say anything else. You just… know. It doesn’t even have to be spoken.

“Ready for your coffee?” You ask her.

“Yes!” She replies.

“Go sit on the couch, I will bring it to you.” You reply, pouring the hot coffee into the special mug, just for her.

You got the mug in London a few years ago. You saw a street vendor selling these handmade, hand painted earthenware mugs and knew you had to have one. When you bought it you always imagined that you would do this with it. Fill it full of hot goodness and give it to the one you loved one day. A silent nod to how a piece of you, even back then, always would belong to them, whoever they were. Here you are now, finally ready to use it.

You walk over with the mug and hand it to her, your heart fluttering at the sight of her. She is wrapped in your favorite blanket, legs curled to her chest, and you think to yourself that this is how you want every single morning to be.

You sit next to her and just talk. Talk about anything and everything. One hour turns into two and it seems like no time has passed at all. It’s always been this way for you. The minutes flying by too quickly, never having enough time with her. Always wishing for just another minute.

As she takes a shower, you put an album on to fill the empty quiet space. You settle on a classic. Van Morrison’s Moondance album. You sit on the couch and read your book until you see her emerge from the hallway, dressed in your clothes and you cant help the smile that makes its way to your face, at the sight. Every moment seems like one that you want to keep. That you want to store away forever in your brain.

She’s stunning, even with wet hair and a pink face.

You close your book and open your arms to her and she practically runs into them, sitting next to you.

“Whatcha reading?” She asks.

“Ahh this is just something Jake gave me and told me to read, some ancient spiritual awakening manuscript of sorts.” You reply.

“What do you want to do? Do you want to watch a movie?” You ask.

“Do you want to?” She asks looking up at you.

“I just want to be with you, so if that means I get to sit here with you all to myself for the next hour and a half then I definitely do.” You say placing your hand on her thigh.

“Alright, you pick.” She says.

You stand up and walk to the turntable and stop the album, closing the curtains and turning off the lights. Sitting back down next to her, she surprises you by laying her head in your lap and stretching across the length of the couch. It takes every single ounce of your effort to keep the blood from rushing straight between your legs.

You start the movie and she snuggles her face into your lap more, placing her hand under her face, effectively resting it right on top of your dick.

Take a deep breath. You’ve got this.

As the movie plays you begin to run your fingers through her damp hair, taking gentle care to work through the knots without hurting her, taking in the feel of her silky soft strands.

How many times have I dreamed of this exact scenario, only for it to be playing out so perfectly right in front of my eyes.

You spend the whole second half of the movie daydreaming and rubbing her back as she naps in your lap. When the movie ends you turn it off and slowly slide yourself out from under her.

Gosh it’s nearly 5:00…. I am starving.

You walk to the kitchen and open the fridge, browsing to see what ingredients you have and what you could possibly do with them, but you are coming up short. Resting your elbows on the kitchen island you grab your phone and scroll through delivery options.

What does she like?

Oh she liked the food at Gather… I’ll just get that again.

You quickly order delivery for the both of you and realize that you have about 10 unread messages in the group text.

Sam: I know we are off but are we going to the bar tonight?

Jake: Up to you fellas...

Daniel: No, I’m not going. Have fun.

Jake: Josh?

Jake: What’s up your ass Daniel?

Sam: Olivia. LOL

Daniel: Can you grow up for 5 minutes?

Jake: Yikes, hit a nerve Sammy…

You shake your head smirking, deciding to reply, and tell them you will be dipping out this evening. They don’t need to know why just yet.

You: No, I am going to stay in tonight. See you tomorrow.

Jake: I should probably do the same then.

Sam: Ugh fine.

Smiling at your phone you see her rustling on the couch and you can tell she is a little disoriented.

“Hey beautiful, have a good nap?” You ask.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I was just so comfortable.” She says embarrassed.

“Don’t apologize it’s totally fine, I just ordered us some food and it should be here soon.” You say.

She walks into the kitchen to meet you and you flip the light switch, providing a small bit of light for her to be able to see where she is going.

“Back to the real world tomorrow.” She says, wrapping her arms around you.

“This is the real world…at least it could be.” You reply, gazing down to meet her eyes.

“I think I’d like that.” She says, leaning into your chest.

“Me too.” You breathe out.

A while later the food arrives and you are both starving. You eat together and talk and laugh and just enjoy each others company. It’s so easy to just be with her, everything just happens so naturally and you love that about her.

“Josh, I feel like I have overstayed my welcome.” She says bashfully.

No. Not yet.

“What? What do you mean?” You ask confused.

“I have taken up your entire day!” She says, picking at her fingernails.

“I wanted you to! I asked you to.” You reply.

“I know, but you have to work tomorrow and so do I! I just feel bad!” She says.

“You still don’t get it do you?” You ask.

She blushes and looks to the floor.

You pull her chin up, “I want you to be here. I always want you here. Stop doubting it.”

She just stares at you, her eyes begging for you to ask her to stay.

“Do you want to go home?” You ask.

“Honestly, no. But I have nothing here with me. I need clean clothes.” She says groaning.

“So go home tonight and then you can stay here tomorrow night if you want to. Or I can come to you. Either way. What do you think?” You ask.

She sneaks closer to you on the barstool, wrapping her arms around your neck. You instinctively place your hands on her hips.

“I think that I will miss your arms wrapped around me all night.” She replies.

Me too. You have no idea.

“Tomorrow.” You promise, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Then it will be the weekend and we don’t even have to leave the house if you don’t want to.” You kiss her again. “Although, I would like to take you on a date. A real date.”

She blushes and smiles. “Okay, I’d like that.” She says bashfully.

“You are so beautiful, you know that?” You say, swiping the hair off of her neck.

“Josh….” She whines, being shy.

“I have waited so long to be with you like this, I am going to do it right. More than right. I promise.” You say.

She leans close to you and presses her lips to yours but it’s different this time. More desperate and needy, but you happily return the sentiment.

“Josh…I want you…” She whispers between kisses. Her tongue swiping your lip asking for entrance and you part your lips to allow it. Her fingers travel up the back of your neck and into the bottom of your hair, lightly tugging on your curls. The feeling alone making you groan. You press your tongue to meet hers, both of you desperate for more of each other.

Before you get too far you stop and pull away from her mouth. “I want you too. I want you so badly. It's all I have thought about since that night. But not like this. We need to talk about this, whatever this is, what it is going to be.” You say, gesturing between the two of you. “But first, you need to go home, get a good nights sleep, and think about it. Really hard. Because I promise you, if you decide this is what you want it will be 100 percent from me. Always, and I will expect the same from you. I want you. All of you. I am playing for keeps.” You say.

She nods her head, understanding, but you can tell she feels a little rejected.

“Look at me. I want you, I want you so so bad. It is killing me to let you go home tonight. But I promise it will be worth it when we both know for sure that this is exactly what we want.” You say, a smile crossing her face as you kiss her once more.

“Okay.” She replies with a soft smile.

She steps back and turns down the hallway to grab her clothes, and her bag. You meet her in the hallway, pressing one more kiss to her perfect lips. “Just one for the road.” You laugh as you release her. She digs her keys out of her purse and begins to head to your door.

“Bye, Josh.” She smiles.

“Goodbye beautiful girl.” You reply, leaning on the open door. She makes her way to her car, and you stand and watch her as she pulls away.

You shut the door behind you and lean against it for a second, replaying the events of the past 24 hours over in your head, your heart fluttering.

‘I want you….’

The look in her eyes…how you showed any restraint is a mystery.

You clean up from dinner, and lock up your house. Taking a quick shower, you just keep seeing her face in your mind. You miss her already. The thought of sleeping without her tonight looming in your mind.

I have been doing it this long…

You finish up and dry off, slipping on a pair of boxers and getting into bed. As you lay on your normal side of the bed, you can smell her on your pillow. You hear your phone buzz on your nightstand and grab it seeing its her.

Her: Made it home, thinking about you.

You: Good, just got in bed, thinking about you too. Wish you were here.

Her: It’s cold tonight, sure wish I was there too.

You: Tomorrow.

Her: :)

You place your phone back on the nightstand and turn off the lamp, closing your eyes breathing in the intoxicating smell of your girl.

Your morning didn’t start as planned. You slept past your alarm, you were out of tea, and you couldn’t find the shirt your were looking for. You hoped this wasn’t a sign on how your day was going to go.

You were supposed to be meeting the guys at the office today to do some video interviews for the new album but of course you were running late. Tires screeching as you pull into the parking lot, you sprint through the front doors and upstairs to see Danny and Jake standing there waiting for you. They point to the room where Sam is already starting on the video call.

“Fuck, today is just not going my way.” You grumble.

You step into the room and shut the door behind you apologizing profusely for being late, and luckily the interviewer is totally cool and doesn’t mind at all.

An hour later you are wrapping up and finally stepping out of the small room. You go and sit down on the couch pulling your phone out and sending her a quick text.

You: Good morning beautiful.

Her: Good morning, having a good day?

You: Yes, lots of meetings today, but we will see you later?

Her: Yep, I’ll be there!

You relax into the couch and let out a deep sigh.

“Was it that bad?” Danny asks.

“No, I just have had a long day and it’s only 10AM.” You laugh.

“I know what you mean.” Danny replies.

You swallow nervously, knowing why he is saying that. You are wondering if he is going to mention anything to you. You know you need to talk to him about everything but, you aren’t sure what to say. ‘Hey, I know you two broke up because she came straight to me afterwards, and I think we are going to be together now, sorry bud?’ Doesn’t really sound too good. Maybe he will come to you.

The day passes by pretty quickly, each of you pairing off and doing a few more interviews, and probably drinking a little too much in between. As the day winds down you can see Danny acting a little nervous as Jake and Sam talk about going to the bar. He looks over at you and catches you looking at him. He nods his head to the back room and you silently understand that he wants to talk.

You both step into the meeting room and you act like you have no idea what he is going say.

“I have been trying to talk to you all day, but someone kept interjecting….” He starts.

“Whats up?” You ask.

“So, you know that we were seeing each other…god I went about everything the wrong way from the get go… “ he says running his hands through his hair. “From the start things were…rocky at best. We had a really good connection, sexually. But we couldn't seem to get the emotional thing down, or at least I couldn’t. When we finally found our footing, Olivia showed up. You know dude, I thought she was it for me. I was shattered when she left me, I wasn’t sure I would ever be with anyone else, until I met her at the bar that night. I totally fell in love with her, how could you not, ya know? But now I'm not sure it was love. Olivia stepped back into the picture and all these feelings I didn’t know were there, just shot up. So I shut her out. I betrayed her, and she found out. I felt so guilty… god I wish I could just redo it all. But I cant, and I realize that she deserves so much better than someone who cant even commit to how he feels about her from day to day. I wanted things between us to work so bad, I really did, but now I just cant get Olivia out of my head and that is not fair to her.” He says, leaning on the table.

You shift your weight on your other leg, listening to him still.

“Night before last Olivia came into the bar of course, and felt the need to return a t-shirt I let her borrow. I fucked up letting her spend the night at my house, even more so in my bed. I don’t know what I was thinking. Part of me wanted it to happen though, thats the worst part. So when she put the pieces together I think that is when she realized that this relationship wasn’t going to get any better. She knew right then the it was over and I think I did too. We both felt the shift. It was only getting more confusing and hard. She came to my house that night and we both decided that we needed to call it quits. We had been trying for so long to make it work, and it just wasn’t. The sex was great, that was never the issue. It was me. We both knew it. I had to let her go, she deserved it. We just want each other to be happy but I am worried for her. I know she leans on you a lot, you’re kind of her person, I think. Anyways, all of this just to say, since I know she confides in you, just…. Take care of her for me? I really do care about her so much and I know that you do too, I just need to know that she is okay….” He trails off.

“I do care about her, and I think that you both are doing the right thing for not only yourselves but each other. You both deserve to be happy, whatever that may mean for the both of you. I will look out for her, thats a promise. Thanks for telling me, I know this is a rough...” You reply.

He reaches out for your hand and you shake it before you hear Sam yelling out your names.

“Are you guys ready?” He asks.

“I think so, what about you Daniel, you up for it?” You ask him.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He replies.

You all head downstairs and to your cars, making your way to your favorite watering hole.

I can’t wait to see her, but I have to play it cool.

You give yourself a pep talk on the way there and also try to calm yourself down at the same time. As you pull into the parking lot you jump out of the car, locking it behind you and catching up with the guys so that you can all walk in together.

You’re in last and take the opportunity to shoot her quick smile when you see her behind the bar.

Beautiful girl.

Her hair is down and slightly curled at the ends falling onto her shoulders, her lips slightly pink and glossy. You tear your focus away from her and head to your normal table.

“Alright, Josh its your turn to buy.” Jake says laughing.

“Okay, what do you all want?” You ask, standing up leaning on the table.

“Beer…” they all say in unison, you smile shake your head and walk off.

As you approach the bar your heart begins to beat a little faster than usual, and you see a smile cross her face.

“Hello, gorgeous.” You say.

“Hi…” she says bashfully.

“I have been informed that it is my turn to buy and they all want beers. No preference apparently.” You laugh.

“Okay, let me see…..” She says looking into the cooler.

“Alright, PBR for Sam and Daniel, Bell’s Two Hearted for Jake and for you….” She hesitates, peering into the cooler.

“How about a Corona?” She asks.

“You know us too well...” You smile.

She removes the lids and pops the tops on the PBR sliding them to you before crossing her arms and leaning into the bar.

You lean closer to her, and almost whisper, “Tonight?”

“Do you still want me to?” She replies quietly.

“Of course.” You reply and she nods her head.

Making your way back to the table with everyones drinks you sit down and try to not be obvious about the smile threatening to spread across your face.

Throughout the night you share glances across the bar, silently flirting but trying to keep it on the low down. So far no one has noticed. When it’s finally time to go, you head up to the bar to close out the tab.

“Leaving so soon?” She smirks.

“Yep, I have company coming tonight.” You reply playfully, signing the check.

“Oh, sounds like fun…” she says.

“It should be…” you reply devilishly.

She nods as you turnt to meet the guys at the door. You all walk out to your cars as Jake pulls you aside.

“So you two are an item now I see.” He smirks.

“Well......We haven’t discussed anything, and Daniel only just told me today that they officially decided to call it quits. She came to me that night…I’m not sure what’s going on but she knows how I feel and she has insinuated that she feels the same. I think I’m gonna talk to her about it tonight.” You say. “But how did you know?”

“I’m your twin…” He says raising his eyebrows walking to his car.

How does he do that?

Driving home all you can think about is her. You cant wait to spend the weekend with her, and take her out tomorrow. You have it all planned.

Pulling into your driveway you get out of the car and quickly get inside. You want to pick up the house and make the bed before she gets here. You know she should probably be leaving the bar in the next 20 minutes.

A knock at your front door 30 minutes later makes your heart jump out of your chest. You stand up from the couch, and turn the music down a bit before unlocking the door. As you open it she’s standing there nervously playing with the cuff of her coat but when she sees you she smiles.

“Finally.” You say, pulling her in by her arm.

You shut the door behind her and pull her lips to yours, cupping her face in your hands.

God, I never want to stop.

Forcing yourself to pull away, you step back and let her walk into the living room, dropping her bag at the door.

“Josh can I talk to you for a minute?” She asks.

Oh no, she changed her mind.

“Sure, let’s go sit.” You say motioning to the couch. The room is dimly lit by a few lamps and the candle burning on the coffee table. You tried to make it feel more comfortable for her. As you both sit on the couch you take her hands in yours, and nod that you’re ready to listen.

“So you know how you told me to think about what I really wanted? You wanted me to be really sure that this is what I wanted before we got in too deep? I tossed and turned all night last night, just racking my brain, thinking about everything. Everything that has happened in the last few months, with Danny, with you. I really dug deep and I think that Jake was right. I think I have known all along and I just tried to suffocate it with something that wasn’t right. That’s why it never worked with Danny and I. It wasn’t supposed to. It was always just off.” She says, tripping over her words.

Her mind must be going 100 miles an hour.

“This is how it was supposed to be. Me and you. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t there, but it always was. Every conversation in the bar, every look, every smile…it was there, I just refused to accept that it was real. I am so so sorry that I hurt you. I’m so sorry that you had to stand on the sidelines and watch everything play out. That you were who I turned to about it all, you didn’t deserve to have to hear about it. I can’t even imagine how painful that had to be. But most of all, you have always told me that I deserve to be someones first choice. I know that I am your first choice Josh, I think you were always mine too, I was just…scared. I turned to Danny because there was nothing that could be damaged. We weren’t friends like you and I were, Josh…. There was nothing that I could lose if it didn’t work out. So instead of giving myself what I really wanted, I chose the option that would hurt less and it turns out it’s what actually hurt me most. I completely understand if you want to think about us and everything I said, you just have to know. You aren’t my second choice. You were always my first choice. I was just afraid to lose you.” She says, twisting her fingers with yours.

Her eyes are searching yours for any type of reaction, but you are just staring at her, completely stunned.

She does want me too. She is just afraid of losing me.

You reach your hand out to her face, resting your thumb on her cheek, “I’m not going anywhere…”

“I really am sorry Josh, I know you deserve so much more than what I gave you, but I promise you that I am all in. I just want you, I always have.” She says.

Oh, baby I want you too…

“You are all I want beautiful. If you’re in, then so am I. Be mine, and I will be yours, completely.” You whisper.

“I think I always have been.” She whispers back.

Your mouths crash to each other and your lips furiously find hers, kissing her more aggressively than normal. You’ve been patiently waiting for the right moment to try and making sure the timing was right, but after hearing her confirm that she feels the way you do there is no way you can hold back any longer. You are both desperate for each other. Her body is telling you that she needs more, which you are more than happy to provide. Her hands are all over you, running up and down your chest and arms. Her lips wet and full against yours. Your tongue slides across her bottom lip begging for entrance into her mouth. As her lips part a soft moan escapes her lips when your hand grips into her waist. Hearing her response to your touch is something you could revel in forever.

She wants this.

“Josh please….” She breaths into your mouth.

“I know baby, I’m getting there.” You reply pulling away from her mouth causing her to let out a small whine in protest. “Lets go to the bedroom.”

You stand and blow out the candle, grabbing her hand to pull behind you as you make your way down the hall. Closing the door, you release her hand and watch as she saunters over to the bed.

Her eyes travel your body up and down as you take your shirt off and throw it on the floor, leaving you just in your pants. You walk over to her and she snakes her arms around your waist and before you can even blink she is pressing wet kisses to your torso. You place your hands on the back of her head, gently holding on as she moves up and down your body.

Fuck… She is perfect.

You feel her left hand slide down your waist and to the front of your pants, her hand running over the erection hiding under the seam of your pants. A groan leaving your throat.

“I’ve been thinking about this since I left the other night. I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.” she says.

Her fingers undo the button and she slowly slides the zipper down until it’s completely open.

Her hands move to the top of your boxers and her fingers hook into the elastic, gently tugging downward as her eyes look up at you from under her lashes.

She is trying to kill me…

She tugs down a little harder, the tip of your dick now peeking out of the boxers, her lips placing a light kiss on the newly exposed area as she continues to pull your boxers off. You kick the rest of your pants off and your boxers go with it. You’re impossibly hard already and it’s obvious with the way it springs up toward your stomach the moment it’s no longer restricted by your clothes.

She’s obviously proud of the way your body is reacting to her, smirking as she takes your length into her hand gently stroking you. The feel of her hand wrapped around you like this, is like nothing you were ever able to conjure up in your imagination.

“I’ve been thinking of this too baby. Trust me.” you bite your lip as you gaze down at the sight below you.

Her eyes part from yours as she looks at her hand working its way up and down before opening her mouth and sliding her silky smooth tongue across the underside of your dick as her lips wrap around you taking your entire length into her mouth. She gently slaps her tongue with the head of your cock as she looks into your eyes once again. You let out a guttural moan as she then takes you fully in her mouth once more, working her way tantalizingly slow and releasing you with an audible pop of her lips.

She is trying to kill me. I will be thinking about this for far too long…

She begins to work her way up and down you a bit faster now, swirling her tongue as she reaches your tip each time. It feels so good you cant help but tell her.

“Fuck you make me feel so good, babe. I love your perfect lips, you look so beautiful.” You say.

She hums in appreciation, not willing to release you from her mouth. Her hand is still wrapped at your base, starting a twisting motion as she continues bobbing her head at a steady pace. You aren’t going to last if she keeps going. A groan leaves your chest as you collect her hair at the back of her head.

You cant help but stare at her as she continues. She is so gorgeous.

You step back and pull out of her mouth. “Baby, I have to have you, and if you keep going, I will never get to spend the time I want worshiping every inch of your body.” You say.

You run your thumb over her lips, collecting the spit on your finger. “It’s my turn.”

She leans back on her elbows and you crouch down to squat in front of her, unbuttoning her jeans and slowly sliding them down her legs, revealing her green lace panties, running your thumb over her center. She wiggles her hips wanting more.

Oh she is ready….

“I see you’ve been thinking about something else too… You’re so wet for me already.” you drag your index and middle finger down her clothed slit, returning some of the playful teasing that she was torturing you with just moments earlier.

You throw her jeans on the floor and crawl over her body, hovering over her. Bending your head down to kiss her neck, trailing down her sternum, your hand reaches down and you pull her shirt up to expose her stomach. You kiss the exposed skin, stopping right as you reach the top of her panties. She writhes underneath you, squirming with anticipation.

“Please Josh…” she begs.

You smile at her and grab the hem of her shirt helping her lift it over her head.

Holy fuck, she's a dream. What did you do to deserve this angel?

Her matching green lace bra is sheer and you can see her hard nipples through the floral pattern. She is stunning.

You connect your mouth to the exposed flesh at the top of the cup of her bra, placing wet kisses on the plump skin. Making sure each side gets the same amount of attention. Your hands come up to the straps and you hook your fingers under each one, pulling them slowly down her shoulders. As they hang freely on her shoulders, you scoop her tits out from each cup, releasing them from the green fabric. You reach underneath her and unclip the hook easily, throwing the bra across the room.

Her skin is covered in goosebumps at the coldness of the air against her. Your hand reaches up to her right tit gently massaging and rolling her nipple between your fingers. A moan leaves her mouth and your cock twitches at the sound.

You take her left nipple into your mouth and begin swirling around the bud with your tongue, a gentle bite every now and then. Her hips are arching upward into you. You release her and snake your way back down her body, placing a lingering kiss on her center, over her panties. You sneak your fingers into the hem, pulling them down her legs as you kneel on the floor in front of her.

You part her legs and begin kissing your way up her thigh starting at her knee.

“I am going to take my time and enjoy every single second of this. I have wanted you like this for so long, I can hardly stand it. Gonna make you feel so good, gonna worship this beautiful body.” You say between kisses.

As you reach her center you swipe a finger through her folds collecting her wetness on your fingers. A gasp leaving her lips at the contact. You make the connection again, this time your fingertips teasing her clit. A moan escapes her lips and you smile against her.

“I love hearing how good I make you feel, baby. Could listen to that sweet sound forever.” You groan, your cock inexplicably hard at the sound.

You cant wait any longer and you connect your mouth with her core. Your tongue runs through her slit, allowing you to fully taste her sweet cunt. You swirl your tongue around her clit, as she grabs fistfuls of your hair, pulling you in closer to her.

“Josh, it feels so good, please…” she begs.

You slide a finger inside of her and feel her tense around you as she cries out at the new sensation.

“Oh, my girl you’re so tight for me.” You whisper against her.

Working your finger in and out you slowly add another, curling them upward to reach her the spot you know will make her come undone for you. You know you found it when she screams out in pleasure. Taking the cue you continue pumping your fingers and begin sucking on her clit, knowing she is getting closer and closer.

Her body begins to shake with her impending orgasm, her legs trembling and her eyes screwed shut in concentration.

“Josh, please keep going, I’m so close…” she cries

“Cum for me baby, let me taste you, you taste so good.” You say.

With one more curl of your fingers she is coming undone, a cry leaving her lips as she reaches her peak.

HER POV

Coming down from your orgasm you are breathing heavily and a light sheen of sweat has glossed over your body. You look down and your eyes meet his, sparkling with desire.

He stands up and crawls back over your body, bending down to press a soft kiss to your lips, biting your lip and dragging it back with him as he pulls away. You wrap your hands around his body, pulling him back in.

“Josh, please. Fuck me now. I want to feel you.” You beg.

He reaches between you and grabs his dick positioning himself with your opening. He runs the tip through your center collecting the wetness before he pushes inside. You both groan at the relief of the tension as he holds himself inside of you, catching the breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

He presses his pillow soft lips to yours and begins to pull out before sliding back in. You arch your back into him as he hits your g spot.

“Oh my god baby, you feel so so good…” he cries out, as his hips thrust into your core.

“Josh, keep going, harder…” you beg.

He begins to snap his hips slightly harder, nailing you right where you need him. You’re still reeling from your first orgasm and the overstimulation of his pubic bone brushing against your clit with each thrust already has you teetering the edge of another.

“Just like that Josh… Right fucking there. Don’t stop.” you whine, wrapping your leg around his.

His hand comes up to your face, slipping into your hair. “God, I want you like this forever…. So beautiful and needy calling my name….” He says in a lower register than usual and you can feel a rush of wetness creeping over your center.

“Josh, I like it when you talk to me like that, do it again.” You beg.

“You like it when I talk to you baby? Want me to tell you all about how good you feel wrapped around my cock? So fucking tight and warm, just for me…. You’re mine now baby...” He grunts between thrusts, hitting you just right. The pressure in your stomach maxing out.

“Josh, I’m gonna cum…” You cry, wrapping your hands around his wrists that are pinned next to your head.

He snaps his hips into you one last time and you throw your head back as his name escapes your lips in a drawn out whine. Your orgasm rips through you and all you can see is his beautiful face staring back at you.

As you tighten around him you feel him begin to twitch inside of you, “I’m close baby, do you want me to pull out?” He asks desperately.

“No, please Josh…” you reply, coming down from your orgasm as he is reaching his peak.

A few loud grunts from him and he is spilling into you with a groan, throwing his head back at the sensation.

As he comes down his lips furiously find yours, peppering your face with kisses.

He pulls out of you and immediately walks to the bathroom, returning with a washcloth. He drags the warm cloth over your center, cleaning up the remnants of the evening taking special care and being overly gentle. Adoring you.

He stops and looks up at you with a soft smile.

“I will never, ever, get tired of seeing your face. You are an angel.” He says, standing up and walking back to the bathroom. You hear the faucet running and a minute later he walks out. He opens the bedroom door and returns with your bag and a glass of water.

“Thank you.” you say, taking the glass with a smile. “And thanks for grabbing my bag but…can I sleep in your shirt again?”

“You don’t even have to ask…” he says smiling, walking over to the drawer and looking for the perfect one for you. He tosses you a battered and well loved t-shirt you can tell is one of his favorites. He grabs a pair of navy blue boxers, and slides them over his legs. As he stands you can really see the definition of his torso, you take your time admiring his defined stomach. He catches you staring and gives you a smirk, raising his eyebrows.

“All yours….” He quips.

You blush and quickly get up, pulling on the t-shirt. You make your way to your bag and pull out a pair of cheeky panties and put them on. Walking back to the bed, you crawl under the duvet this time. Josh fluffs up your pillow and lays on his side to face you wrapping his arm around you.

“I love the sex, don’t get me wrong. But this is the best part to me. Just getting to hold you.” He says.

Your heart constricts at the sentiment.

He is the sweetest man on earth.

“So…Tomorrow I would like to take you out, on a date, if you want to.” He says nervously.

A real date?

“Of course I want to Josh, I want to do everything with you. I just want to be with you.” You reply.

He kisses your cheek, rolls over and turns the lamp off. You feel him scoot his body closer to you. Your back is to his chest now and he snakes his hand under your shirt and rests his cold hand on your waist, sending a chill up your body as you giggle.

“I think we will go to the next town over? I want to keep you to myself for a while. Just us. I don’t want anyone to know yet. Is that okay?” He asks kissing your neck.

“I think thats probably for the best.” You reply, relief rushing over your body. You aren’t ready to have this conversation with anyone yet. You want to be with him, want to scream it from the rooftops, but you aren’t ready to face the guys just yet. You cringe thinking about what the fans would say if they found out.

“I’m nervous for how all of this will play out with the guys. I know this is such a mess…. I’m just scared of what they will think… or say.” You say nervously.

“Oh, baby don’t be. I will talk to all of them. I just want to wait until the time is right.” He says reassuringly.

“Okay, I trust you.” You say.

“Thats all I have ever wanted. Always gonna put you first, my girl. Promise.” He says, his voice growing sleepy.

You snuggle into him, and wrap your feet with his. You close your eyes and fall asleep easily, wrapped in his warmth.

Little did you know that time would force your hand.

119 notes · View notes

thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

Text

Drift

Word count: 7.2k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, Smut, Fluff.

“Two percent?!” you screech.

Looking down at the cellphone in your lap as you follow the winding directions you see the red battery icon and your anxiety starts to bloom. Your signal has been spotty at best and the constant in and out of service has drained your battery quicker than anticipated. With another hour to go you are starting to panic. Of course your phone would die while you are somewhere in the mountains.

It started snowing last night, and unfortunately has stuck around. So when the snow didn’t stop this morning you knew you would be in for an eventful drive home. Six inches turned into ten very quickly, and the roads were becoming slick. Your little sedan was not equipped for this type of weather, something you were pretty sure you wouldn't experience in Nashville but boy were you wrong.

The two lane road you found yourself upon currently was slightly off the beaten path, on the side of a mountain. Houses sprinkled in here and there, with their long winding driveways, painted white in a wintery scene. In different circumstances you would think it was quite beautiful, but right now, your white knuckle grip on the steering wheel has made you feel differently. Your windshield wipers are going full blast, further obscuring your view of the winding back road. You glance down to your phone to check the directions.

Four miles until you turn right.

As you read the directions out, you're met with a loud thump as your car moves 60 miles per hour over a perfectly placed pot hole, jostling you, your car and its contents.

“Shit!” you cry out as your head bounced back on the headrest.

Reaching down to pick your phone up off the floor, you type in your password and unlock it. But that was all it took. That measly 1% was gone in an instant. Panic swept over you, all you knew was that you had 4, maybe 3 miles now until you turn right. But what about the rest of the directions?

Okay, next shopping center I see, I will stop and grab a car charger.

The snow is falling quickly, and the sun is setting, leaving you to only rely on the light from your hi beams. You swallow thickly as you squint to see the lines on the road. You haven’t seen a car pass you in what feels like forever.

I knew it was a bad idea to get off the interstate.

You saw it, but it was too late. You couldn't react in time. If you slammed on your breaks your car would go sliding into the ravine. So you hit it. Whatever it was. It looked like a crow bar or some type of bent metal. That's what it sounded like too. As your car met with the object you heard a loud popping and you knew your night just got ten times worse. Your car began to limp further down the road with a metallic clatter against the wet asphalt.

You see a driveway in the distance and decide to push forward to pull into it, against your better judgment. As you pull off into the entry of the long driveway you put your car in park and immediately get out and see that your front left tire is completely blown out. The combination of the pothole earlier, and whatever that metal thing was, has left you stranded in the drift of someone's driveway.

You get back into your car and grab your phone, realizing that it died 15 minutes ago. As you sit back into the seat you rub your hands over your face and wonder what you did to deserve this. You turn on your hazard lights and pray that someone drives by and stops. But you know the likelihood of that happening is slim. Anyone with half a brain knows better than to drive in conditions like this.

As you wrack your brain for what to do, it occurs to you.

Maybe, there is someone in the house at the end of this driveway…

You know that this area that you are in is home to most peoples vacation homes, tucked deep into the side of the mountain. The chances of someone being here are small, but not zero. You grab your coat out of the backseat and put it on. From the looks of it, this driveway is fairly long and the snow is piled high and growing by the minute.

Turning off your car, you grab your dead cell phone, and your keys and get out. Now that the sun had set it was dark, and the wind was cutting like a thousand knives. You lock your useless car and shove your keys into your coat pocket. You pull your hood over your head and thank yourself for choosing a pair of sensible boots this morning.

As you walk the long snowy, gravel lined driveway you think to yourself that it must be a mile long, and uphill at that. Just as you think it could stretch on for another mile, you see a soft yellow light ahead of you. A light is on in the house.

Oh my god, someone is here.

Knowing that the house more than likely is warm, has your feet picking up their pace and landing you at the edge of the trees, opening up to the clearing where the occupied house sits. There is one car parked outside of the house and you can hear the soft vibrations of noise from inside. The house is large, old, and wooden. You can see that there are two stories and the ivy growing on the side of the house gives it a certain type of rustic charm you don't see too often anymore. There is smoke filling the air, coming from a chimney, and huge glass windows adorn the entire front of the house.

As you step up to the porch you brush the snow off of your coat and hood, pulling your frozen hand out of your pocket and nervously knocking on the black wooden front door.

The large glass window set into the door has you holding your breath as you see a figure approaching from across the house. Pulling a hoodie over their torso, they peer through the glass to see you standing there and run their hand over their face, as the door opens.

“How did you get this address?” he says.

You nervously stare back at him, “I– I didn’t…my car –I hit something. My phone is dead– I…” you stammer.

“You hit something?!” he asks, shocked.

“Yeah, it was dark, and the snow – I couldn't see. I think it was a crowbar or something.” you reply anxiously.

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking concerned.

“Yeah, I am okay. I am so sorry to bother you. My front tire blew out and my phone is dead so I can’t call Triple A…Do you think I could borrow your phone or, could you call, or…” you stammer.

“Yes, absolutely, come in. It’s freezing.” he says, opening the door. You can feel the warmth radiating from inside and graciously step into the house.

“Do you have your phone? I can plug it in?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah!” you say fumbling into your coat pocket and handing him the freezing device.

“My god, your hands are freezing! Here, come sit here by the fire.” he says, leading you from the front door, and into the open, spacious living room. He points to the couch next to the fireplace and says he will be right back. He runs up the wooden staircase and you can hear some banging around upstairs before you see him quickly flying back down the stairs, waving a phone charger in his hand.

You look around the house, and are intrigued by the charm of the renovated old home. The cobblestone fireplace, the wooden beams adorning nearly every inch of the walls and ceiling. It’s a split level home but it has an open floor plan, granting you visual access to almost every part of the house. Small sets of stairs lead to various rooms and loft areas. It’s a very uniquely designed floor plan, and you are interested in the history of the home. Admiring its charming old quality, your eyes flit around but stop when you see the massive windows. You are instantly taken with the wall of windows providing a picturesque view of the snowy scene outside. It’s very charming and you find yourself relaxing into the cozy couch by the fireplace, staring into the snowy sight.

“Better?” he asks, walking down the steps into the living room, before sitting in a chair across from you.

Realizing how you must look, you shoot straight up and fix your posture. “Oh, yeah. Yes. Thank you. This is a really cool home.” you say nervously fidgeting with your coat.

“Oh, thank you, I moved in about two years ago now. Still fixing things up here and there. Trying to bring it up to date without losing its rustic qualities.” he smiles. “I’m Josh by the way.”

“Oh, god, how rude I didn't even ask your name before I made myself at home on your couch.” you laugh. You introduce yourself and shake his hand, which is much warmer than yours and oddly soft. The room is dimly lit by the floor lamp in the corner and the small fixtures illuminating the bookcase in the upstairs loft. The fireplace is glowing brightly behind you. You can see the flames dancing along rhythmically in his eyes. Honey brown and glossy, he must have been drinking before you interrupted his night.

“When my phone turns on, I will call Triple A and I’ll be out of your hair in no time.” you say biting your lip.

“What in the world are you doing driving in this weather?” he asks.

“I was driving back home. I went to visit my parents for the week. The traffic on 40 was so bad, I decided to take a back road thinking it would be faster, but then I got lost and my phone was dying, then this happened... It was not a good choice in hindsight.” you laugh.

“You’re brave. I’m from Michigan and even I wouldn’t be driving right now.” he smiles, his cheeks scrunching tightly beneath his eyes.

He is sort of…cute. Maybe in different circumstances…

“I know, it’s not too much farther…I think? I feel really bad that I interrupted your night.” you say pointing to the movie that is paused on the TV screen.

“Ahh, don’t worry about it. I’ve seen it a thousand times.” he says, waving his hand in the air.

You focus on it, and recognize the character on the screen. “Is– Is it A Clockwork Orange?” you ask, suspiciously.

He seems taken aback as he replies, “Yeah. Yeah it is…” a twinkle of intrigue in his eyes.

“Cool, that's a great film.” you say, politely.

A small smile forms at the side of his mouth, “Yeah, it really is...” he looks like he wants to say more, but stops himself.

Why do I feel like I am supposed to be here?

“Well, I should go see if my phone is turned on. I have bothered you long enough.” you say standing up, and walking up the small set of stairs into the kitchen.

“It’s on the kitchen counter by the fridge.” he calls out to you.

As you grab your phone you see it has come back to life, and you quickly dial out the number for Triple A. You lean over onto the counter as the call rings out. You stare out the windows at the snow still continuing to fall and explain to the man on the phone exactly what happened.

“What do you mean…But I don’t…. I can’t get anywhere…. Okay. Alright. Yeah, thank you.” you end the call staring at the screen dumbfounded.

As you stand there silently trying to figure out your next move you see Josh walk into the kitchen to join you at the counter. He leans his hip onto the countertop, facing you.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, his curly brown hair falling onto his forehead.

You turn to face him and with a blank face you set your phone back on the counter. “No. Apparently they can’t send any trucks out until the morning after they plow the roads. The snow is too bad on the mountain?” you question.

He shakes his head, “Yeah, I was afraid of that. Listen, I don’t want to sound forward but, you are welcome to stay here until the morning. I have a guest room, and anything you might need.” he says kindly.

“Oh wow, that is so nice of you to offer, but I really feel like I am intruding. I mean, you don’t even know me.” you say.

“The alternative is what? You sleeping in your freezing cold car? No. I know we don’t know each other, but I am a human being and from one human being to another, please. Stay. You can leave as soon as you’d like in the morning. They should have the roads plowed by 7:00.” he says, scratching the back of his neck.

You stop for a second to think, but something is pulling you to stay.

“Are you positive that I am in no way putting you out?” you ask, hesitantly.

“Absolutely not. Glad to lend a helping hand. I mean, you must be alright if you knew I was watching A Clockwork Orange.” he smiles.

You nod your head, agreeing and his face lights up with a smile.

“Should we… finish it?” he asks. You bite your lip and stare at him. You know his brown puppy dog eyes have never been rejected in his life. You can feel it.

“Okay, I guess we could. But can I use the bathroom first?” you ask.

“Oh, of course. If you step through that guest room, it’s in there.” he says pointing across the kitchen.

“Thank you.” you say nervously.

As you make your way into the bathroom, you quickly relieve yourself and wash your hands, noticing the eclectic artwork hanging on the walls in the bedroom. He has very interesting taste in furniture and decor, but it kind of fits the feel of the house perfectly. As you make your way back into the living room you step down into the warm space, and see Josh waiting for your return sitting on one side of the couch with his feet crossed on the coffee table.

“All good?” he asks, he has noticed you have removed your coat and grants you a smile.

“Yeah, thanks. I am sure you didn’t see your night going this way.” you laugh as you sit down on the opposite side of the couch. But you feel it. A magnetism to be closer to him.

What? You don't even know him…

“You’re right I didn’t but I’m kinda glad it did.” he smirks with sultry eyes.

Maybe he feels it too…

You feel your cheeks blush as he unpauses the movie, and it roars back to life.

You spend the next hour talking instead of watching the movie, discussing the theories surrounding it and even further discussing Stanley Kubrick. You have a lot of the same opinions on his work and career. Josh is super knowledgeable about film making and even tells you how it was always his dream to be a filmmaker himself. Your heart warms at the fact that he is passionate enough to tell a complete stranger about his dreams.

You talk until the fire in the fireplace dies down and you find yourselves sitting in a dark living room, lit only by the small lamps on the book case.

He looks over at you and stares for a second, “Let me go grab you some clothes for you to sleep in, I'll be right back.”

“Oh, that's not necessary, I will be okay, really. I can just sleep in this.” you reply.

“Please, I insist.” he says standing and walking up the stairs, his bare feet padding up the wooden steps.

You stand awkwardly in the living room, waiting for him to return. You walk over to the windows and stare out at the snow, still falling. You walk back into the living room, and notice the bookcase on the second floor loft. You look around to see if Josh is coming back and when you see that he isn't, you make your way up the stairs and over to the full book shelves.

Browsing the titles you see a lot of classics. You run your index finger over the spines, stopping on names you recognize. The leather bound books are beautifully displayed and lit with tiny sconces on the front of the shelves. Bending down to look at the next row of books, you are surprised when you notice Josh standing next to you.

“Well, what do you think? Any good ones?” he laughs.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn't mean to pry. Well, actually. Maybe I did.” you smile. “But yeah, all the classics, you are well read.”

“I spend a lot of time traveling, and books are a great way to pass the time. I pull a lot of inspiration from these old books.” he says. He reaches a stack of clothes out to you and your hands brush his. You both recoil and look at each other like you have been zapped by lightning.

Surely he felt that?

You grab the stack from him, and look down. “Thank you.”

He bites his cheek like he wants to say something, but again, doesn’t.

“Come on, I will show you the guest room and get you some blankets.” he says, gesturing for you to follow him.

After a few minutes he has retrieved a few blankets for you and provided you with an extra phone charger, handing them to you with a soft smile. In the dim lighting you can see the dimple that forms in his cheek, perfectly situated above a tiny scar.

“I will turn the heat on a little warmer, sometimes it gets cold because of the windows. If you need me, I’m at the top of the stairs to the left.” he smiles, and shuts the door behind him.

You sit on the bed examining the pile of clothes he has so graciously brought you. A long sleeve white tee shirt and a pair of well loved sweatpants. You peel your clothes off of you, and slide into the much comfier attire. Maybe he was right, this will be warmer.

You plug your phone into the charger and spread the extra blanket over the twin size bed. You flip the switch on the wall and climb into the bed. You lay there hearing the wind whip against the old house. You think about your evening and how it went so completely different than you imagined. You are sleeping in a stranger's bed? The room is quiet except for the sound of the snow falling on the windows. You drift off to sleep and think of the beautiful curly haired man sleeping right above you.

You wake yourself up shivering. Your eyes open and you're met with total darkness. The light from the alarm clock long gone, the air growing colder by the second. The distant whirr of the refrigerator reduced to nothing. The power must have gone out. Your feet are frozen, hands too. Trying to pull the blankets closer to yourself you realize they are already as close as they could be. Your body shivers under the sheets. If only you had some socks you could make it through until morning.

You lay there for a few minutes trying to rub your feet together to create some warmth, but nothing was working. Your brain remembers the fire in the living room. It had been a few hours since it had gone out, but surely the hearth was still warm. You grab your phone, and turn on the flashlight, illuminating the floor below you. You quietly twist the door knob on the old door, and tiptoe through the hallway into the kitchen. Looking around, you see that the power is definitely out. Walking quietly down the small set of steps you find a place on the hearth of the fireplace, only to find that it too, has grown cold.

Rubbing your freezing cold hands together you think back to what Josh told you. ‘If you need anything, I’m up the stairs to the left.’ You think about going up there to ask for socks but quickly talk yourself out of it. As you look out the large windows it seems the snow has finally stopped falling, but it has accumulated quite a few inches. More than likely making the power fail.

You scroll through your phone on the couch, but your service is weak. You can't get anything to load. Tiredness begins to creep in on you as the stinging stiffness in your hands and feel remind you of their temperature.

Okay, just do it. Just go ask for some socks. Tell him the power is out. He will understand.

Setting your phone on the coffee table you swallow deeply and quietly make your way up to cold wooden stairs. When you reach the landing you turn to his door, which isn’t a door at all. There is no door, it’s just an open archway. The sight in front of you nearly takes your breath away. He has a fireplace up here, and it is still glowing with embers. Your legs carry you over to it where you place your hands and are greeted with the feeling of warmth.

Inadvertently you release a sigh as you feel your extremities warming. You hear the bed rustle behind you and you flip around, not even fully realizing that you are standing in this mans bedroom. He leans up on his arm, and you can see his eyes slowly opening as he sees you standing in front of his bed.

“Is everything okay?” he asks, his voice light and groggy.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just– the power went out, and I was so cold I was just going to come ask you for some socks…” you stammer. “But then I saw the fireplace from the doorway, and my legs carried me here. I thought maybe if I could just warm my hands and feet I would be okay.”

He peels the blanket off of himself and stands up pushing his hair out of his face. His body clad in only his black boxer briefs, showcases his chiseled torso, glowing in the fireplace embers. You have to peel your eyes off of him as he walks across the room.

He returns a minute later with a pair of wool camping socks, “For your feet.” he says, handing you the socks. You reach out to grab them and his hand brushes yours sending that same electricity through your system.

“My god, you are freezing!” he says. How long have you been awake and cold?”

Bending down to pull the socks over your feet you answer, “I’m not sure, maybe twenty minutes?”

“Why didn’t you come up here sooner?” he asks, grabbing your cold hands in his warm ones, rubbing them together to attempt to warm them.

“Well, you were already nice enough to let me stay here, I didn't want to wake you up too.” you say bashfully. Your eyes travel down his body and back up. “Aren’t you… cold?” you ask.

“No, I’m a warm sleeper.” he answers.

“Ah, that sounds nice.” slips from your mouth before you even can register what you’ve said.

You clamp your hand over your mouth in regret and he smiles, a giggle almost leaving his chest.

“You know, I figured I would lose power. I’m not surprised. How about this… why don’t you stay up here? I will throw another log on, and we can both be warm.” he says, with innocent eyes.

Your eyes travel to the bed behind him, plush with white fluffy duvets and blankets.

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as he goes to speak again, “It’s a big bed. We won’t even touch. I just won’t be able to sleep if I know you’re down there shivering.”

He bends over and tosses another log onto the embers, poking it with the fire poker until it lights. Feeling the warmth on your back, you look back to him. “Okay, but only because I am freezing.”

“I know. I’ll get you warm, don’t worry.” he smiles.

He walks over to the other side of his bed, pulling back the blankets and gesturing for you to slide in. He pulls the thick blankets over you and nods his head as he tucks you in.

Wow.

You can’t even think of a time when someone took care of you like this. It’s kind of sweet.

He walks back to the fireplace and prods the log making sure it won’t roll off, and closes the mesh divider.

He makes his way back to the bed, returning to the warm spot he left only minutes ago, sighing in relief as warmth washes over him as he pulls the duvet back over his now slightly chilled body.

He rolls to face you, though you are on your back, eyes cast to the ceiling. You can feel his eyes staring into the side of your head, so you turn your head to look at him. The room is dark, the only light coming from the small flames in front of the bed. The orange hues dance across his cheeks, highlighting his cheekbones, and producing a sparkle in his tired eyes.

“Do you feel it?” he whispers.

You feel your heart leap in your chest as your breath catches in your throat, “What?” you ask, nervously.

“The fire, do you feel it?” he asks.

God…

“Oh, yeah, I do. Thank you… for letting me stay up here. This is beyond…hospitable.” you reply, turning your body to face him in the bed.

“Are you warming up?” he asks, the log crackling in the fireplace.

“Yes, I’m starting to. I think it will take longer for my hands and feet.” you giggle.

“Here,” he says, reaching across, grabbing your hands and clasping them tightly between his. “Mine are plenty warm.”

You feel the electricity traveling through your body, and from the look on his face, he feels it too. A light hum leaves your chest as the warmth of his hands works quickly to heat your own.

“Does that feel good?” he asks, you are positive that he can see the pink blush creeping across your cheeks as you stifle a nervous smile.

“Yeah, it does. You’re lucky you’re so hot.” the words falling from your lips before you can stop them, something that seems to be happening far too often.

A smirk flashes across his face as you stumble trying to correct yourself. “Warm, I meant warm. Not hot. I’m sorry... But, not that you aren’t hot, you are. Really. But–I meant…I’m not making this better am I...” you sigh.

“No, you know what? I think it’s perfect.” he says, his hand gripping yours, thumbs gently exploring the valleys and peaks of your knuckles.

“You do?” you ask quietly.

“Mhmm…” he hums. The rumble from his chest sends a shiver through your body.

You can feel your body temperature rising, but it isn’t from the fire. Josh’s hand releases yours and your eyes flick down as he pulls them away. He notices your furrowed brow and looks up at you.

“I told you we don’t have to touch.” he smirks, rolling to his back, positioning his hands behind his head. You roll back to your back, mimicking his actions.

You both lay there in silence for a few minutes. You can hear the wind whipping against the windows, the thought causing you to shiver. You let your eyes travel the length of his body under the sheets and you bite your cheek as you meet his bare chest moving slowly up and down with each breath.

Pursing your lips together, you let your foot wander across the bed until it makes contact with his. You let the tips of your toes trace the curve of his ankle, as you watch a small smile play upon his lips.

He turns his foot to meet yours, rubbing slowly over the top of yours as he twists his body to face you again. He places his hand next to his face on the pillow, pushing down the fluffy feather filled fabric, “So you do want to touch?”

You turn your body to face him, letting your foot slide up his leg, feeling the soft hairs tickle you. “Maybe a little…” you answer.

“You feel it too, don't you.” he asks. But this time, you know he isn’t talking about the fire.

“Feel what, Josh…” you say in a playfully sultry tone.

“This.” He grabs your arm and pulls you as close to him as possible, his bare chest pressed directly to yours.

Your legs intertwine with his as his hand cradles the back of your neck. Yours rests on his warm chest. He really wasn’t kidding about the warm sleeper thing.

Your fingertip traces the line of his collarbone as your eyes flick up to his, “Yes…I feel it too.”

You feel his breath on your forehead and you sink into him, as his body heat warms you quickly.

Feeling bold, you press a barely there kiss to his throat, stretched taut over your head. You feel his Adam's apple bob against your lips as your lips connect with his skin. His legs twitch against yours and you feel a warmth creeping down your center.

A closed mouth groan rumbles through his chest as his grip on you tightens. You have never made the first move, but tonight wasn’t a normal night. He was a stranger. A beautiful, warm stranger and you had already taken the first chance by knocking on his door.

You feel him hardening against your stomach and you smile up at him. His eyes have grown dark with want and you know yours probably look the same. “Josh…” you ask.

“Hmmm…” he hums into the top of your head.

“You know you could have just started a fire downstairs… I could have slept on the couch.” you say.

“You’re right. I could have, but I knew both of us weren’t going to fit on the couch.” he replies, voice soft as velvet.

“So you did want me in your bed…” you tease.

“From the second you asked me if I was watching A Clockwork Orange…” he says.

You crane your neck, lips furiously in search of his. You would be lying if you said you didn't catch yourself staring at his plush pink lips all night as he spoke of his passions. Thought about how they would feel, how they would taste. You thought about kissing the tiny scar you noticed on his cheek in the guest room. But nothing you imagined came close to how he actually felt. How he actually tasted. His tongue slides across your bottom lip as it begs for entry into your mouth. Slightly parting your lips he slides in, his tongue searching for yours.

You twist your fingers into his curly hair and it’s softer than you imagined. His lips pull away from yours and you whine at the loss of the heat of his tongue against yours. His lips connect with your jaw and neck as you scratch your nails against his scalp. You feel him hum against your neck as you pull on his hair, begging him for more.

“You like that?” he murmurs against your skin.

“Yes… kee– keep going…” you beg.

“God you’re sweet. I have to know you.” he says, as his kisses travel further down your neck. You feel his warm hand slide underneath the hem of the borrowed white shirt. His hand radiates heat across the sensitive skin of your stomach burning a path as it travels up.

His eyes look to yours for permission, and he takes your deepend kiss as a yes as his hand connects with your hardened nipple. A moan leaves your mouth and travels into his and he rolls the taut flesh between his thumb and forefinger.

He releases it as he grabs a handful of your breast, massaging the pliable skin. Sliding your knee upwards between his legs, you feel his full erect length straining through his boxers. You press your pelvis into his causing him to groan and pull you in tighter.

“I want you to know me Josh, all of me.” you say, reaching down to grasp him in your hand.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

You detach your lips from his neck as you respond with a nod, “Didn’t you say you would warm me up?”

“I did say that, didn’t I…” he teases, lifting the hem of the shirt to pull it over your head. As you lay there next to him, the orange glow of the fireplace reflects onto your skin.

“Shit, you are…for once I don’t have words.” he smiles.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” you laugh.

“Good. I always have words. My brothers give me shit for it all the time. But you have me speechless…” he says with a smile.

You blush, and you're positive that even in the dark room he can see it. His dimple shows through and you pull his neck down to connect your lips with his once more.

Your hands travel down his sides, feeling his soft smooth skin beneath your hands. Supporting himself with one hand next to your head, the other hand skims to the top of the black sweatpants, teasing the sensitive skin across your hip bones.

He hooks a finger into the waistband and tugs downward pulling them to rest at your knees. You kick them the rest of the way off, leaving you bare beneath him.

“I can’t believe you got a flat in front of my house. I can’t believe I was actually here.” he says as if thanking God for his good fortune.

“Why wouldn’t you be here?” you whisper.

“I travel a lot. I’m not here probably six months out of the year.” he answers.

You know you want to dive deeper into that at a later time, because right now, you need him. Like you need air. Lungs burning from not having him.

You look directly into his beautiful brown eyes as you quickly rid him of his boxers. He kicks them off and your eyes travel down his chest to see the outline of his length glowing in the fire light between you.

He drops down to place wet kisses over your stomach and hips. Stopping and looking up at you as he presses a kiss to the mound between your legs. His tongue slips out and licks a warm path up your center causing you to breath sharply at the contact. Your hips flex backwards as your body silently begs for more friction. He pushes your legs apart slightly as he repeats the same motion, a sigh releasing from your chest.

His tongue pointedly circles around your clit, you groan becoming more audible. His hand reaches up and grabs yours placing it on the top of his head. He wants your hands in his hair and you willingly oblige.

Weaving your fingers through the curls you find yourself instinctively pressing down on his head to bring him closer. A growl racks through his chest.

“Josh… I….” you whine.

His lips detach from you, “I know beautiful, give it to me. I want it.” he demands.

His tongue begins to furiously swipe against you and within seconds you are free falling into your release bucking your hips up into his mouth. The moan from your chest echoing through the silent house. As you float there in the darkness you feel his mouth leave you, and once you’re fully back, you feel him pressing kisses to your thighs.

“Josh…I want you.” you say, pulling him up to hover over you.

He presses a soft kiss to your lips, “You can have whatever you want, as long as you keep making pretty sounds like that.”

Gripping his dick in your now much warmer hand, you pull him to you, pressing him against your soaked core.

You let go as he takes the lead, slowly sliding into you with a whispered ‘fuck.’

You adjust to him quickly, almost as if your body had been waiting for him since the minute he opened the door. His curls hang down his forehead as he sets a steady pace moving back and forth inside of you. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down to you as your lips find his. You can taste yourself, but more, you can taste him. His essence. You can smell his earthy scent, pouring from his skin. Like a mix of damp wood and sweet vanilla.

He rolls his hips into you eliciting a moan from your mouth. He does it again receiving the same response and a smile crosses his face. His thrusts become harsher, hitting the spot you so desperately need him to hit, and he does. Flawlessly. Your moans fill the air in the room.

“I have heard so many things in my life, but god damn if this one isn’t my favorite.” he says, punctuating the sentence with the most sinful groan and you tighten around him.

“Fuck… just like that gorgeous.” he says pressing deeper with each thrust.

“Josh, fuck…” you whine.

“You gonna give me another one baby? I want it…Need to feel you cum on my cock.” he pants. His hips begin to falter, thrusting wildly and inconsistently. You can tell he is close and you’re not far behind him.

You squeeze around him as your fingernails dig into the soft skin of his back. “Please, harder.” you beg.

Sweat drips down the side of his neck as he bites his bottom lip, thrusting into you harder than he has been, the smack of skin ringing through the vaulted ceilings. “Fuck, you want it hard baby? God you’re fucking perfect.” his hips snapping into you repeatedly like a rubberband.

You toss your head back as you feel your stomach tightening.

“Ahhh… fuck you’re squeezing me so fucking good… I won’t last much longer, I need you to cum for me angel. Let me have it.” he begs.

His words send you spiraling into your second release, tensing around his cock so hard, that he meets his own ending. You feel him pulsing inside of you. Groaning with each spurt your name falling from his lips like a prayer.

His breathing is erratic as he collapses onto your chest, his messy curls tickling your face. You giggle as you push them away from your nose. He rolls off on you and onto his pillow, turning his head to face you as his breathing evens out.

He pulls you close to him, your head laying on his chest. You listen to his heart beating and feel the rise and fall of his chest. His fingers run through your hair, occasionally twisting a strand around his finger, feeling the silkiness of it between his digits. His fingertips massage your scalp practically putting you to sleep.

“You live in Nashville, right?” he asks, finally breaking the silence.

You nod your head against his chest. “I do.”

“Good.” he replies.

You kiss his chest and he places a kiss on the top of your hair, letting his arm fall loosely around your back. Sleep overtaking both of you, finally warm.

When your eyes open, you see daylight. It is bright, brighter than usual. The sky is gray and heavy with snow clouds, an ominous reminder of what looks to be another snow storm impending. Sitting up, you find yourself still in the king size bed in Josh’s room. You see now in the light of day, the entirety of the wall of windows that overtakes the back portion of his home. His bedroom opening up to the bright light of the day as soon as the sun would begin to rise. You see that he has gone from next to you, and you bite your lip, wondering if he regrets what happened.

You pull yourself out of the warmth of the bed and redress yourself in the borrowed clothes flung onto the floor with haste last night. You make his bed, a gentle thank you, for him to find later, before you step out of the doorway and make your way down the shiny wooden steps.

The power is back on, evident by the smell of the coffee pouring out of the kitchen. You look around the house but you don’t see Josh. Where did he go?

You walk to the coffee pot situated next to the stove, and begin opening the cabinet doors looking for a mug. Settling on a blue mug with the state of Michigan on it, you pour the steaming hot liquid into the mug, breathing in deeply the invigorating scent.

You carry the hot mug into the guest room, setting it on the bedside table as you change back into your own clothes. A few minutes later as you reemerge with the empty mug, you see Josh standing at the counter. He has on a sweatshirt and pants, and his hands are dirty. His cheeks are flushed pink from the cold outside air.

“I was wondering where you went.” you say sheepishly, placing your mug on the counter.

“I woke up and decided, ‘Who needs Triple A’... I can do it. So I went and dug your car out of the snow, and changed your flat. I have to admit, I haven’t had to do anything like that in a while. Probably since I was home in Michigan. It may have taken me longer than it should but … it was kinda nice. But I will admit it was hard to peel myself away from you this morning.” he smiles.

“You didn’t have to do that!” you implore, “Gosh I feel so bad, I already feel like I have imposed so much!”

Peeling his hoodie off, he rushes to you. “You weren’t an imposition. You were the unexpected surprise I needed. The best surprise.” he says, grabbing your hands. “Last night was…perfect and I want to see you again. In fact I don’t even want you to go.” he says shyly.

“Really?” you ask, nervously.

“Yeah, but I understand you probably need to…” he says looking down to the floor. Your heart clenches realizing how nervous he is, and that’s when you decide.

“I actually have nowhere to be… but… I do need a shower and I’ll probably need some clothes.” you smirk.

“You know…I think I can help with that.” he smiles.

You peer out the window behind him, snow flurries just beginning to fall as you ask, “Have you ever seen 2001: A Space Odyssey? I feel like you’d like it…”

He shakes his head in amazement as a smile spreads across his face, making way for his perfect dimple. With his look suddenly turning to a devilish grin, he throws you over his shoulder and carries you up the stairs, laughing the whole way.

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

Text

Plus One

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 3.7k

Warnings: smut! 18+ minors DNI. fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, slight cock warming/cum play.

A/N: wedding josh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“How much longer?” Her voice was muffled behind the bathroom door of the hotel room.

You stood in front of the large mirror, your hair wrapped around the curling iron.

“15 minutes tops” you responded.

Your makeup was finished as you worked on your hair. The last part was your outfit, which was easy. You decided on a pale green cocktail dress that fell an inch above your knee. The dress was tight in all the right places, accentuating your curves.

Jessica was your friend from work. She had been there about a year longer than you, and immediately took you under her wing when you started. Eventually, the two of you became friends outside of work. Now, you’d consider Jess one of your closest friends.

As soon as Jess received the invitation in the mail, she sent you a picture with the text “You’re coming.”

Jess brought out the best in you. She was bubbly and outgoing at times where you were shy and quiet. You knew you wouldn’t know anyone at the wedding, as it was out of state, so you were glad to have her to cling onto for the entire night.

Finishing off your makeup with setting spray, you exited the bathroom to slip your dress on. Jess assisted with your zipper before smoothing the fabric down your back.

You glanced over your appearance in the mirror, putting in your favorite pair of dangly earrings. You looked beautiful. You smiled softly to your reflection, pleased with how you looked.

“Ready?” Jess chirped as she collected her clutch from the bedside table.

You glanced at your feet, your toes painted a soft pink shade. You had gotten them done just for the occasion.

“As I’ll ever be.” You chewed the inside of your cheek, nerves beginning to set in at the realization of how many people would be at the venue, not a single one you knew.

The ceremony was the easy part. Sit in your seat next to Jess and watch. You didn’t mind this part, as there was no conversation needed.

Your bottom lip pouted out as you watched the bride kiss the groom, signifying their forever tie to each other. Being single didn’t bother you. You never really thought about it. But being at a wedding, watching other partners hold onto each other as they cheered for the new couple caused a subtle lonesome feeling to wash over you.

The crowd followed after the newlyweds, ushering down the aisle. You held onto Jess’s wrist as she led the way to the room cocktail hour would be held in.

The space was small, voices loud bouncing off the walls. Your eyes widened as you found the bar. The reception was what worried you the most, but you knew having a few drinks before you sat at the table would help.

You chewed on the straw of your drink between your teeth as you once again trailed after Jess into the bigger room where the reception would take place. There was a purple glow to it, with tables covered in white linens. The two of you searched for your name cards placed on top of the plates on the table.

“Here we are!” Jess exclaimed after finding your places.

You both pulled your seats from the table and took a seat, you avoided eye contact with the rest of the party already sat, while Jess scanned each of their faces.

To your left, sat your best friend. To your right was a stranger. He had his back turned to you as he spoke with the man seated next to him. He wore a chocolate brown suit, with stitching on the back. You didn’t recognize the design.

To your advantage, Jess spoke up first.

“Hey guys, I’m Jess.” She introduced herself to the table.

You nodded and told the other guests your name, eyes flicking immediately down to your drink.

The man sitting next to you leaned towards you to bump your shoulder.

“I’m Josh.” He extended a hand.

“Nice to meet you.” You replied, a shy smile splayed across your face.

“So how do you know the lovely couple?” He questioned you with a smirk.

“I-“ you tried to think of a response.

“She doesn’t.” Jess chimed in, “She’s with me. My plus one.” She punctuated her response with a grin and a squeeze to your hand.

Josh’s attention turned back to you as he raised his glass to you, followed by a sip of his drink.

Jess leaned in to you, her lips next to your ear.

“He’s cute.” She whispered to you.

You turned to face her with wide eyes.

“Jess!” You mouthed to her. Your pointer finger pressed to your lips.

“Oh please, he can’t hear me.” She chuckled.

Out of your friends' view, Josh leaned to you on the other side.

“I can.” He whispered to you.

A rush of warmth bubbled up under the skin of your cheeks.

You scooted your chair back and stood from your seat, turning to Jess.

“I need another drink.” You were hoping she would follow.

“Can you get me another beer? Thanks!” She replied before turning to chat with the girl seated next to her.

You rolled your eyes to yourself as you pushed your chair back in, heading to the bar at the back of the room. Before you could get very far, you felt someone come up from behind you.

“May I join?” Josh asked with a toothy smile, his eyes were a golden brown. They popped against the chocolate brown of his suit.

“Sure.” You grinned at him, suddenly focusing on what you looked like as you stepped one foot in front of the other.

The line for the bar was long. Anxiety rose within you as you began to worry about the conversation you needed to make with Josh. You hated awkward silence.

“So, Jess…” He spoke up.

Oh, here we go.

Jess had everyone’s attention when the two of you went out. Her beauty mixed with her welcoming personality had a gravitational pull to her. You envied the way people would come up to her to spark conversation. Half of it was your fault, not putting yourself out there. But you just couldn’t. You hated small talk. What was there to talk about with someone you didn’t know?

That’s where the balance of Josh’s personality came to your rescue.

“Are you two a couple?” He finished his sentence.

You giggled at the thought.

“No, just good friends. We met at work. She asked me to tag along as soon as she got the invitation in the mail.” You explained to Josh.

He nodded his head while he sipped his drink.

“Yes, she’s single.” You huffed out to him. You were used to men approaching you for the sole purpose of finding out if Jess was available. Just to forget about you once you give them the green light.

Josh looked at you with utter confusion.

You met him with the same look.

“Not interested.” He laughed to himself.

You weren’t used to that.

Before your thoughts could run wild, a song began to play loudly through the speakers.

“I love this song! Come on.” Josh yelled over the bass of the song.

He quickly grabbed your wrist and drug you closer to the speakers, dropping your drinks off at a random table on the way.

Never one to dance at a party, you felt awkward the second you stepped onto the dance floor.

Josh sensed your nerves and grabbed you by both wrists, moving your arms about. His actions made you laugh. He watched you have fun, smiling to himself.

The song came to an end. You were quick to return to your drink, missing the confidence the alcohol had given you earlier. A slower song had begun. Couples surrounding you joined together, chest to chest.

Josh grabbed you by the waist, your back facing him.

“One more?” His eyes begged of you.

You nodded to him and he threaded his fingers through yours to bring you back onto the dance floor.

His fingertips found your waist once more. Your wrists locked behind his head.

He pulled you closer to him by your hips. You looked up to him, being a few inches shorter. Your eyes were wide as you studied his. They were round and inviting. Chocolate brown with specks of honey splashed between.

You followed his lead, swaying your body against his. As he breathed, the air flowing from his nostrils brushed over the skin of your nose. You could smell the mint from the gum he must’ve popped in when you were facing the opposite direction. His jaw flexed with every chew.

“You know this one?” He craned his neck down to look at you.

“Bon Iver, right?” You replied.

“You’re cooler than I thought.” He huffed a laugh to himself.

As the soft song played on, you’d lost track of how long his eyes remained locked with yours.

Don’t you lock when you’re fleeing

The song played in the background.

“I’d like not to hear keys” you both sang in unison, unexpectedly.

Caught off guard by the coincidence, you both giggled to yourselves.

The song carried on only by the strumming of a guitar.

This song had a way of making you feel like the only person in the world the times you spent listening to it in your bed, laying flat, staring at the ceiling. It brought you comfort.

You rested the side of your head against Josh’s shoulder, inhaling the scent of his cologne. You placed a flat palm on his chest, tracing down the ribbing of the turtleneck he wore underneath his blazer.

The song came to an end. There was a pit in your stomach at the reminder of disconnecting from his embrace.

You didn’t even know this man, but he had made you feel comfortable. Safe. Earlier today, you pictured yourself sitting at the table all night, watching Jess dancing amongst the other guests. Instead, it was you, dancing away, anxious muscles unclenching the more you surrounded yourself with him.

He took a step back, detaching himself from you. You tried your best not to show the slight pout you felt.

You followed him back to the bar, after finding out your drinks had been picked up by the wait staff.

The line had been even longer than before, but you didn’t even realize this time. You were lost in conversation with him. He wanted to know everything. Where you were from, what you did for work, did you live alone or have a roommate, do you prefer cats or dogs?

You grabbed your drink from the bartender, slipping a $5 in the tip jar. You sipped your drink through the straw as you looked to Josh as if to ask “What now?”

“Come for a smoke?” He asked.

“I don’t smoke, but I’ll join.” You followed behind him.

You stepped out in the chilled night air, brushing over the skin of your arms with your hands. It had gotten significantly colder with the sun going down.

He watched your movements. Noticing the goosebumps that began to prickle against your skin, he slipped his blazer off, wrapping it around your shoulders. He rubbed up and down your biceps quickly, trying his best to warm you up.

You giggled at his gesture.

“Thank you, Josh.” You smiled up at him.

He took a step back. Leaning against the wall, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a joint. Placing it between his lips and flicking the lighter to life.

As the paper burned, he inhaled deeply. You watched as the smoke traveled past his lips and floated up into the night air.

“Not a cigarette guy. Not anymore, at least.” He chuckled to himself and extended his arm to you, offering a hit once you realized it wasn’t a cigarette.

Your fingertips brushed against his as you reached for the joint. You mirrored his actions, placing it between your lips and inhaling deeply. You passed it back.

“Drinking or smoking?” He continued his interrogation with you.

“Honestly… I prefer smoking. Hate the hangovers.” You cringed at the thought of how shitty you were going to feel tomorrow morning.

“I say the same thing!” He said with excitement, his voice raspy from the smoke.

You both stood in comfortable silence, passing the joint back and forth until there was nothing left. It was quiet. Only the muffled sounds of the party inside.

“You know…” his voice trailed off, “I was asking about you. Not Jess.” His face was turned down peering at the tip of his white shoes.

You watched him with a puzzled look on your face.

When you didn’t respond, he glanced back up to you.

“You told me Jess was single.” His voice was quiet.

You nodded, silently asking him to go on.

“I was interested in your answer.” He took a step closer to you. His eyes flicked down to your lips so fast, if you blinked you’d have missed it.

You tucked your bottom lip between your teeth. The ends of your mouth curling up.

“I’m not with anyone.” You replied just above a whisper.

He inched closer, the tip of his sneaker touching the toe of your heel.

His fingertips traced your jaw line until they were threaded into your hair. The pads of his fingers massaging against your scalp.

“Then you won’t mind if…” his voice fell silent as he began to close the gap between you two.

You wrapped your hands around the back of his neck, bringing his lips to yours.

As his lips pressed against you, you felt like sand running through his fingers. Your muscles relaxed at his touch. He moved his lips against yours gently.

He continued to rub his fingers against your scalp. You purred against his mouth from his touch. He responded by parting his lips for you, begging your tongue to meet his.

You reciprocated, opening your mouth for him to slot his tongue against yours. Your knees buckled at the taste of him. He tasted sweet from his mixed drinks, followed by the hint of mint gum he was chewing.

He ran his tongue against yours painfully slow. You removed your hands from behind his neck to bunch the fabric of his sweater in your fists. You inhaled deeply against his cheek, opening your mouth wider for him.

His hands untangled from your hair to find your hips. His grip tightened around the bone, pulling you closer to him. You lightly scraped your teeth against his bottom lip as you sucked it gently.

He detached himself from you, leading the way back in the venue without saying a word. Once again, he drug you by your wrist. This time with need.

He led you to what looked like a fancy powder room. A small room with a loveseat in one corner, and another couch on the wall across from it.

Once he had you inside, he pressed your back against the door, simultaneously locking it behind you.

His lips returned to yours, but this time with force. The kiss was sloppy with desperation. Whimpers of pleasure fluttered between you both. Each of you wanting more, but hesitant to act on it.

A sudden wave of courage rushed through your veins at the feeling of his palms rub over the bone of your hips, down onto your thigh.

You pulled yourself from him, his cheeks in your hands as you locked your eyes with him.

“I want you to touch me, Josh.” You panted to him between breaths.

He flicked his tongue out to wet his lips.

His left hand left your hip as it traced down the meat of your thigh. He hooked his hand under your thigh, lifting it until the heel of your shoe rested on top of the armrest next to you.

The flat of his palm ran against your shin, past your knee until he reached the hem of your dress. He pushed the fabric up with him as he went. The green material bunched at the crease where your thigh met your hip.

His fingers traveled along the waist of your panties, until he ran the middle one through your slit. You gasped at the sensation.

He nuzzled his nose against the skin of your neck. A primal groan came from him at the feeling of your wetness through your panties.

You swiveled your hips, trying your best to press your core against his finger.

You reached down and pulled the cloth that covered your lips to the side. You felt the skin of his finger swipe through your wetness. The pad of it rubbing circles against your clit.

A high pitch pornographic moan fell past your lips at the sensation of him.

He covered your mouth with his free hand before he slipped a finger inside of you. He pressed his hand against you tighter as he pushed another finger past your entrance to join the other.

He pumped the digits in and out of you. His cock twitching behind his dress pants at the sound of your wetness gushing around his fingers.

He slotted his nose against yours, his palm still pressed over your mouth to keep your whimpers at bay. His eyes locked with yours, watching your reactions as his fingers flicked inside of your pussy.

He circled his thumb around your clit each time he retracted his fingers. Pushing inside until his knuckles brushed against your lips. He curled them up into you, pressing against the spot that made your legs week.

Your knee began to buckle at the feeling of your impending release. He pressed further into you to hold you up. Your walls began to contract around him. He pressed harder onto your clit with his thumb, stilling the fingers inside you.

You were a mess. Crying for more. Begging him to fuck you with his fingers. Pleading with him to make you cum.

Until you mourned the stretch of his fingers.

Just as fast as your orgasm approached, he pulled his fingers from you. Depriving you of that warmth of pleasure.

Before you had time to complain, he spun you around. Your back pressed against his chest. He pressed his hardened length against your back. Josh laid a flat palm between your shoulder blades, folding you over the arm of the couch.

He bunched the fabric of your dress over the swell of your ass. It rested against the dimples of your back. With a rough tug, he pulled the thin lace material from your hips. Your underwear fell to the floor between your feet.

From behind, you heard as Josh unbuckled his belt. Pulling it from the loops, and letting it hit the floor at his feet. He pushed the button of his pants through the hole, and pulled his zipper down.

He pushed the waistband of his pants along with his underwear down until they wrapped around the skin just above his knee.

He fisted the base of his cock, angling it to flick the tip of it through your folds.

You shuddered at the feeling of it roll over your clit.

“You sure?” His voice was strained with want. He needed to be inside of you. Feel your tightness wrap around him.

“Please.” You begged.

The stretch was warm. You felt the curve of the head pass your entrance. Your eyes start to roll into the back of your head. He pressed deeper inside of you until you felt the small patch of hair brush against your ass.

You felt as he twitched inside, reaching the hilt.

His fingers wrapped around your hips, pressing deeply into the skin.

As he thrusted into you, Josh watched your wetness glisten over the skin of his dick.

He threw his head back in pleasure at the sight of your juices gathering around the base of him.

You pushed your hips back to meet him halfway. He noticed, and stilled himself, letting you fuck back onto his length.

You turned your head to Josh, trying your best to catch a glimpse as he watched your pussy slide up and down against him.

You were already close, being robbed of your climax earlier.

He felt your walls close in against him. The tightness of your pussy pushing him closer to the edge. His toes curled in his shoes as he held on as long as he could.

The rim of your entrance fluttered around his shaft as he fucked you into your orgasm.

He pressed his thumb into your clit and you squeezed his cock inside of you.

“Fuck, you feel like heaven. I can’t-“ he groaned behind you.

“Let go, Josh.” You coaxed him.

He lost himself at the sound of your sultry voice saying his name. He needed to hear you say it again. And again, and again. He wished it were the only word you knew how to say.

His cock pumped his release into you. You felt his warmth paint your walls. He slide his cock between them, fucking his cum back into you slowly.

He pushed himself into you completely before standing you upright. Your back pressed to his chest as he began to soften inside of you.

Josh planted open mouth kisses with a flick of his tongue against the skin of your neck.

He placed a singular chaste kiss to the shell of your ear.

“Don’t miss me too bad.” He whispered into your ear as he removed himself from you.

You blushed to yourself.

He pulled his pants back up and turned to retrieve a wet washcloth for you to clean yourself up with before heading back out to the wedding that was totally still happening by the way.

One hand opening the door, the other lay rested against your palm, his fingers intertwined with yours.

You trailed behind as Josh pulled you back to the table where you had first met.

“There you two are! The reception’s almost over. A bunch of people are heading to the bar down the street. You guys comin’?” Jess’s eyes were fixed on gathering her belongings as she slid her purse up her arm.

Josh released his grip on you, placing both of his hands on your friends shoulders.

“Jessica. Lovely to meet you. I’ll have her back before noon.”

Taglist: @gretasimp @writingcold @wowkakashi @spark-my-nature @gretavanbear

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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You’re nothing short of my everything

Credit to owner

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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well goddamn

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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I just wanna hold his ass 😩🤌

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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josh kiszka pic of the day january 31st 2023

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

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Crave (Part 2)

Word count: 8.0k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

You climb into your car and Josh shuts the door behind you, disappearing back into the bar with a smile and a wave.

He’s such a good guy. What did I do to deserve someone like that in my life?

What the fuck is Daniel doing in there? What was that? Just when I thought we were finally good…

You let out a big exhale and start your car, trying to relax your racing mind. The whole drive home you convince yourself that you’re overreacting and that its harmless.

Danny and I are fine. He loves me. He wouldn’t fuck this up already, we just put the pieces back together.

As you walk into your front door you feel your phone buzz in your purse.

D: Where did you go?

You: You just noticed I was gone?

D: No.

You: I went home.

D: Why? You didn’t even tell me.

You: Are you really asking why I left?

D: I know… I’m sorry.

You put your phone down, unsure of how to respond. You know you are emotional and don't want to say something you don't mean. You flip through movies on Netflix when your phone rings.

“Hello?” You answer.

“Baby, please…. I didn’t know what to do.” Danny begs.

“I don’t know Danny… the whole thing was weird. You didn’t even notice I left. You immediately ignored me as soon as she walked in.” You say.

“No, I wasn’t! I just didn’t want you to have to be involved with her at all. I swear. I wanted her to leave just as bad as you did. We all did.” He says. You can hear the sincerity in his voice, causing your hardened stance to soften a bit.

“It just felt… not great.” You reply.

“I know, just come over. Come over and let me hold you. I need you. Only you. I promise.” He says.

Your heart flutters at his words.

“Okay, I will leave here soon.” You say.

“Okay, love you.” He replies.

“Love you.” You say hanging up.

You sigh, releasing all the anxiety from your body. Just as you are collecting your things and getting ready to head out the door you feel your phone buzz again.

Jeez, I’m popular tonight.

Josh: You ok?

You: Yeah, everything is fine. I am about to head over to his house.

Josh: Really? After all that?

You: What?

Josh: You let him disrespect you all night, completely disregard your presence, then run right back into his arms as soon as he asks?

Josh: I’m glad you’re happy. That’s all I care about. Have a good night.

You: Thanks Josh.

JOSH POV

Of course. Of course she is running right back to him. You should have known she would. You tried to play it cool about Olivia, but that woman is poison. She always has been. Daniel would be lucky to never see her again, yet here she is.

You always knew should would turn up again just to stir the pot and boy has she ever. You could see the look on Daniel’s face all night. You couldn’t let her know that though. You’re positive the other guys saw it too. It was just how it used to be. Her calling the shots, Danny bending to her will. She knew exactly what she was doing when she took that chair tonight.

You don’t know who you were angrier with. Olivia, for showing up and starting this vicious cycle all over again, with impeccable timing that’s for fucking sure… or Danny. You just can’t fathom how someone could have the chance to be with the most beautiful, amazing, dream of a woman and still act so fucking careless. You would never take her for granted, that’s for sure. Your anger flares up again recalling the events tonight.

Part of the reason you pulled her up to the bar with you was so she didn’t see what was happening under the table. Olivia running her foot up Daniel’s leg, and the shittiest part of it all was that he moved his leg towards her. He wanted it. But you couldn’t be the one to tell her, you couldn’t bear to let her see it either. You did the only thing you could think of in that moment. Take her away.

You wanted to take her away, far away, all the way to your house. You daydream of showing her what it would feel like to be the one that was doted on and loved on day in and day out, with no threat of uncertainty. You could give her that. You want to be that person for her. You think back to the night you finally had the courage to tell her that, painfully reliving her brushing it off. Now knowing why.

When you walked back into the bar after walking her to her car you saw Danny and Olivia getting awfully comfortable in those chairs. His arm thrown around the back of it, both of them staring at each other deep in conversation. You knew what was going to happen next.

God she deserves so much more than this. What the fuck is he doing?

You throw your phone onto your coffee table, sick at the thought of him treating her like this. Ignoring her and flirting with his ex, only to call her over after. It’s disgusting really. If only she knew.

You can’t help but imagine the fallout after Olivia sinks her claws back into him. He will be torn in two directions, and you know which direction he will go. Daniel only has one setting when it comes to choices. Irrational.

You pace around your house, trying to clear your mind and wind down enough to go to bed, but it's no use. She never leaves your mind, she has been stuck there since you met her. Why would it change now?

Maybe some music will help.

You crouch down in front of your record cabinet and scan the weathered cardboard sleeves, hoping one will jump out at you. You stop when you see the album Jake got your for Christmas and decide now is as good of time as any. Something about ‘broadening your horizons’…The cover of the Deftones album, adorned with a white owl, crisp and new, though the album itself is an older release. You slide the record out of the sleeve and place it on the turntable, placing the needle gently on the shiny vinyl.

Turning the volume up louder than it should be, you hear the song begin to fill your home, suffocating the feeling inside of you until all you can feel is the beat of the music in your chest. You check the sleeve to see what song it is that is hitting that spot so good. ‘Sextape’. Of course it is.

Walking down the hallway to your bedroom you grab your notebook and pen off the kitchen counter, knowing you’ll feel better if you can focus on something else for a while. You let the pen and paper have their glorious reunion for what seems like hours, until the clicking of the record player informs you it’s time to flip the album.

You are feeling more relaxed and decide to turn it off and try to sleep. You rid yourself of your clothes and climb into bed, hoping that tonight you can actually sleep. Laying your head on the fluffy pillow you let out a deep sigh of relaxation and finally fall asleep.

HER POV

As you pull into the parking space in front of his house you take a few deep breaths, trying to compose yourself. You step out of your car, grabbing your overnight bag and starting toward the door. After a few knocks he opens it up with a smile and motions his head for you to come inside.

“Hi baby...” he says, pulling you in for a hug and kissing the top of your head.

“Hi.” you reply dryly. You’re still not ready to move past the events of tonight.

He grabs your face his hands and looks into your eyes.

“I missed you all day. All I thought about was you. I just couldn’t wait to see you tonight and then… I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do. It was awkward for all of us, and I’m so sorry you felt like you needed to leave.” He says. All you can do is blink at him, trying to process what he is saying. The words you wan’t to say aren’t coming to mind and you’re already so exhausted.

“Are you tired? Do you want to watch a movie in bed?” He asks, releasing your face and running his hands down your arms.

You nod your head and he leads you to the bedroom. You drop your bag at the bedroom door and he turns on a lamp, grabbing the remote and clicking through the buttons to try and find a movie.

“What do you want to watch?” He asks.

You dig through your bag trying to find your big t-shirt and shorts and respond “oh I don’t know you can pick, I am probably not going to last much longer tonight. I’m still not caught up on sleep and it was a weird day. I’m drained.”

“Baby, I am sorry. I hate this. It was a weird day for me too.” He says crawling underneath the sheets. “Come here and let me hold you.” He gestures for you to crawl into his arms.

You climb into the bed, and he pulls you up against him. You hook your leg over his, fitting perfectly together. He selects a movie and as it plays your mind drifts off, thinking about the night and everything that happened.

“I was scared.” You say, breaking the silence.

“Of what, baby?” He asks, petting your hair.

“I don’t know. I guess just that if you saw her again…that you might want her back. That you might still love her.” You say, honestly. “We just fixed everything, Danny. It still feels so fragile and weak, and tonight felt like a step in the wrong direction.”

“No... Don’t even think like that. Tonight was nothing, I promise. She will be leaving soon and everything will go back to normal. ” He says reassuringly. You decide to leave it at that, not wanting to push the issue further, but you cant rid the nagging feeling telling you that it’s not going to be that simple.

He kisses your head and you fall asleep in his arms shortly after.

As your eyes open you see sunlight filling the room, you roll over and reach out for Danny’s chest but your fingertips are met by the cold exterior of the duvet. You feel a piece of paper crinkling under your hand and pick it up to examine. Blinking your eyes quickly to rid the blurriness, you bring it close to your face to read.

Early day at the studio, left a key for you on the entry table.

Lock up when you’re ready.

xo D

Huh, left me a key?

You pry yourself out of his comfy bed, and make your way to the bathroom, turning on the shower to heat up. You figure you will just get ready here before your shift. You are on a new shift today, trading with Bruce who normally has the lunch time shift. You grab a towel and take off your clothes.

You step into the shower and see water droplets still remaining from Danny’s shower this morning. You wet your hair and body and stand under the steamy spray, letting it relax your tense muscles. You wash your hair, then your body, enveloping yourself in the scent of his body wash that you have grown to love so much. When you are sufficiently pruney you step out and wrap yourself in the fluffy towel.

You quickly dress in the clothes you brought and search his bathroom to see if he has a blow dryer.

Yes. Bless that curly hair routine of his.

You blow out your hair and put on a light dusting of perfume before you pack your bag back up and head to the living room. You have a little time to kill before you need to leave so you lightly pick up the house, refolding the couch blankets and throwing away the trash. All of it reminding you of the first time you ever stepped foot in here, which seems like ages ago. Little did you know you would be spending nights here frequently.

After a pot of coffee has entered your bloodstream you are feeling energized and ready for the day. You scan the books on his book shelf and see a few photo albums, pulling them out and quickly flipping through them.

You see pictures from his childhood and early band days and your heart swells at the sweetness of their young faces. Placing it back on the shelf you grab the next one that is more like a book, and see that it’s not just a collection of random photos like the rest. This one is an album that was made for him by Olivia. Pictures of the two of them through various years and seasons plastered on the pages. You know you should put it down but you cant help but look at every single photo. When you reach the last page a handwritten note from her nearly takes your breath away.

‘We will always find our way back to each other, in this life and the next. I love you, Olivia’

You slam the book shut and place it back on the shelf. You collect your things, the key, and walk out the door, locking it behind you.

As you sit in your car your chest is rising and falling heavily, feeling another wave of panic set in. This uneasiness is beginning to be a pattern.

Thats what you get for snooping. Why does he still have that? Does he still look at it from time to time? Run his fingers over the note, pondering if that sentiment is the truth?

You shake your head, trying to rid those thoughts. As you drive to the bar you cant help but replay the words she wrote in your mind.

‘We will always find our way back to each other…’

Maybe thats why she’s here. She’s finding her way back, and you’re in her way.

Your shift at the bar is just not the same as it usually is without the presence of the guys. Very few people wander into the bar this time of day, so it is relatively quiet.

You make conversation with the people that do come in, and the hours seem to pass quickly. Realizing it is almost time to leave you pull your phone out of your pocket, hoping to see a text from Danny but there is nothing there. Just a blank screen.

Hmmm. Maybe he is waiting to hear from me.

You: See you here soon? I’m about to finish my shift, I can hang out a little while?

He replies fairly quickly.

D: No I think it’s going to be a late night. Sorry

You: No problem, call me when you’re done?

D: Ok

Bruce walks in and relieves you, telling you all about what he did today. You try your best to listen but your mind is unable to focus. After a few minutes you grab your stuff and head to your car, hoping that the guys don’t have too late of a night and you’ll hear from Danny soon.

Once you arrive at your apartment you throw your things down and immediately pour yourself a glass of wine. It seems like a good night to pamper yourself and watch a rom-com. You down the glass in just a few minutes and head to the bathroom to start a shower. As you step into the spray you let all of the anxiety of the past few days wash away, a special thanks owed to that glass of wine. Donning your favorite pajamas, you wrap your hair in a towel and pour yourself one more glass of red before pushing play on the movie.

After a few tears and a few laughs the movie finishes and your heart is full. If only real life played out like these movies.

Maybe it could?

Gathering your wine glass and your towel you deposit the glass in the sink and turn off the lights, heading to your bedroom and placing the towel back in the bathroom to finish drying.

You plug your phone in and see that it’s nearly midnight and you still haven’t heard from Danny.

Jeez, they never stay this late. I hope everything is okay…

You decide to shoot him a quick text.

You: Wow, it really is a late night, don’t work too hard.

A few minutes later you are crawling into your bed and you hear your phone buzz.

D: I’m home now, just got back about an hour ago.

You: Oh, I thought you were going to call me… no big deal. I was going to see if you wanted to come over here, but if you’re already home…

D: Sorry I didn’t call, it was a long day. I would have come over but I am just too tired. I will talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight

You: Goodnight

Oh well, no big deal. You cant imagine the amount of stress they must be under trying to get things perfect and meet their deadline that is rapidly approaching. You set your phone back on the nightstand and fall asleep in the comfort of your own bed.

As the sun rises the next morning you are feeling mostly refreshed from a full nights sleep and maybe just a tad groggy from the wine last night. You shoot Danny a quick text.

You: Good morning, hope you have a good day.

You spend most of your day cleaning up your apartment and running small errands, enjoying some alone time.

You have the night off tonight so you want to get your chores out of the way to be able to do whatever you want tonight, which is hopefully spending some time with Danny.

When 3:00 rolls around and you haven’t heard from him, you start to worry.

What is going on, this is not like him?

Your phone buzzes and your heart stops, hoping it’s him.

Josh: Got plans tomorrow?

You: No, I work at 9 but thats it?

Josh: Wanna get lunch?

Hmm a peace offering… I do miss him.

You: Sure, just tell me where and when.

Josh: Cool, I will.

Well that should be fun.

You like Josh, you like being around him and talking to him. He makes you feel safe and warm. You are looking forward to hanging out with him and taking your mind off of everything.

You can’t help the smile that finds it’s way to your mouth thinking about spending time with him again. You could really use the easy company that he brings.

When the clock strikes 7:00 and you still haven’t heard a word from Danny, the panic starts to set in. You send him another text.

You: Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you all day?

Again, no reply. Hours pass and it’s nearly 10:00 now, so you decide to call him on the off chance he might answer.

The line rings through for what seems like forever when you finally hear his voice on the other end.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Danny, what is going on? I haven’t heard from you all day? You haven’t replied to my texts… I was worried.” You say nervously.

“Oh, yeah I’m sorry. I was really busy today and I am stressed. Haven’t had the chance to look at my phone.” He replies.

Really? You couldn’t take thirty seconds to send me a text so I knew you were okay?

“Okay… well I’m sorry, I was just worried. Do you… want me to come over? I know a good stress reliever…” You say playfully, hoping to improve his mood.

“Ah… I don’t think so, not tonight. I’m just gonna go to bed. I know tomorrow is going to be an exact repeat of today.” He says with an annoyed tone.

“Oh, okay. I just haven’t really seen you in a few days. But maybe tomorrow.” You quip.

“I’m sorry baby, I will see you tomorrow, I promise.” He says sweetly.

“Okay, well get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” You say defeatedly.

“Alright, night baby.” He says, melting your heart despite your sadness.

“Goodnight” you reply, ending the call.

Maybe you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. He is fine, he just had a long day. Stop reading into it so much.

You tuck yourself into bed, falling asleep thinking about seeing Josh again tomorrow.

You pull up outside the restaurant and see Josh sitting outside waiting for you with a smile on his face. You have thought about him all day, you even found yourself checking your mirror before you left hoping he would think you looked pretty. Not that it matters….

As you walk up to him he greets you with a hug, the kind of hug that makes you forget where you are for a second. You inhale the scent of him, instantly feeling relaxed by his presence.

“Hi!” You say with a smile.

“Are you hungry? Have you been here before?” He asks, obviously hoping for your approval.

“No, I haven’t but I always drive past it!” You reply.

“Oh its so good, I like to come here on our lunch breaks but usually I’m by myself…” He says, his voice trailing off a bit.

You feel a pang in your chest at the thought of him eating alone.

“Well let’s go then!” You say, walking inside.

You both order at the little counter, Josh insisting that he pay since he invited you. You graciously accept and you both stand to the side waiting for your number to be called. As you wait for your food your mind begins to wander.

It’s so nice being here with him. It’s just so… natural. Every time you’re with him you feel this overwhelming sense of comfort. Like everything is going to be okay.

That word keeps circulating in your head every time you’re with him. Natural.

He is just so easy and fun and uncomplicated. Why doesn’t my actual relationship feel that way?

You chit chat about the weather and make small talk about what’s going on in your lives. You feel a flutter in your chest hearing him laugh out loud. He is so beautiful, and he has the best smile. His lips are so pink and you catch yourself imagining what they would feel like on yours again. You know you shouldn’t be thinking these things, but you cant help but feel something when you’re with him. A warm sense of security, like nothing bad can happen.

Snapping back to reality, they call your number out and Josh steps up. He takes your tray and leads you to a table. Even holding the tray he puts in the effort to pull your chair out for you before sitting at his own. He is so kind, he has the special charm about him that makes you swoon. You divvy up the food and you both start to eat, shocked that you have never been here when the food is so good.

“So, I heard it’s been a crazy few days at the studio?” You asks casually between bites.

“I mean… I guess? Just normal?” He replies with a confused look.

“Oh, Danny said it has been a stressful week…” You reply.

You can see him swallow and a look of questioning concern cross his face.

“Uhh yeah, it's been a little stressful?” He says, unable to hide the hesitancy in his voice.

You give him a suspicious look and push further.

“A few late nights in a row? That has to be hard…” you say.

“Um… yeah, we stayed longer than usual…” He says trailing off suspiciously.

“Josh cut the shit. You’re lying, I can tell.” You say.

He blows out an exasperated breath and runs his hands through his hair.

“How much have you talked to him the last few days?” He asks, dismissively.

“Honestly, very little…why?”

“Has he called you?” He asks, clearly annoyed.

“No… he said he forgot. Then last night I got worried since it had been all day since I had heard from him, so I called him…but he kind of blew me off. Said he was tired from the late night at the studio… why?” You ask nervously.

“Has he been checking in on you at least?” He asks in a harsh tone.

“No… not really.” You reply nervously.

He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Look, I don’t know what is going on, but we didn’t stay late at the studio, and things have been normal stress wise. I knew this shit was going to happen.” He says, clearly annoyed.

“So he’s lying?” You ask.

He looks into your eyes. “I think…” he stops, and you can see the frustration on his face. “I think you need to just… step back and take a look at this whole situation and ask yourself what is really going on.”

“I’m sure I am just overreacting. Everything is fine.” You say desperately, your heart rate spiking.

“I think maybe you need to consider it that it might not be…” he starts before you cut him off.

“Why would you say that Josh? Maybe we are both jumping to conclusions!” You say.

“I am not going to sit here and let you continue to question his actions when I know for a fact that if he loved you, really loved you, he would be making every single effort to be with you. All the time, day or night. Had a bad day? The first person I would call is you! You think I would just “forget” to call you? No. Something is up, and you just continue to make excuses for him. I will be damned if I am going to just sit back and watch him treat you like this!” His voice starting to raise.

“Treat me like what?! He hasn’t done anything, I haven’t even seen him in two days! I never should have said anything.” You reply.

“You are just proving my point! You have no idea do you? You are just telling me everything that I already knew would happen! I knew he was going to treat you like shit and you are continuing to let him and I don’t want to hear about it anymore! I can’t. I just wanted to have a good day with you and all we have talked about is how he isn’t treating you even close to how you should be treated. It’s infuriating. I was just trying to help you… I was trying to protect you from this in the first place! From all of this!” he says, pushing away from the table.

“I don't need you to protect me Josh! I don’t need anyone to protect me! I can protect myself! Thank you for the concern, but I can handle it!” You say, your eyes welling with tears.

You both storm out the front door of the restaurant, still in the midst of the argument.

He mutters something under his breath and gives you a half-hearted wave as he gets into his car. He slams the door and starts the car, pulling away into traffic.

Cursing to yourself, you look to the sky, and it is looking as angry as you’re feeling. Perfect.

As you drive home a sense of dread washes over you. You hate leaving things like this, especially with Josh. Who you know is just trying to do the right thing by you as always. You are torn in two. You want to be mad at him, but really you’re not. He has been there for you unconditionally, and this time you may have pushed him too far. Deep down you know he is right about all of it. You are letting Danny walk all over you. You are bending to his will. Maybe you do need Josh. Need him to protect you. Maybe you even want him to…

You find yourself in a weird headspace that night at work. You’re excited to see Danny, you haven’t seen him or really talked to him much in a few days but you’re also uneasy about the fact that he has obviously been lying to you.

I have to talk to him. Tonight. I have to figure out what is going on.

You are also nervous about seeing Josh after your fight this afternoon. Things were tense when you left and you aren’t sure how that is going to translate into this evening.

As you impatiently wait for them to walk in, you busy yourself with a few restocking tasks that Bruce has left for you to complete.

Some time passes and you are finishing up the last case when you hear the bell ring.

You look over your shoulder and you see them walking in. One notably missing.

Where is Josh?

Danny, Jake, and Sam all walk up to the bar. Danny gives you a small smile when he sees you.

“Hey, long time no see…” you say playfully. “Where is your fearless leader?”

“He was in a terrible mood when he came back from lunch, even cut the session short. He said he wasn’t coming and left the studio in a hurry… I don’t know what his deal is.” Sam replies.

You look to Danny who just shrugs his shoulders. He grabs your arm and pulls you in, placing a soft kiss on your lips.

“I missed you.” He says.

“I missed you too…” you reply.

Sam and Jake stare at you with weird expressions. “Um anyways…can I get a drink?” Sam laughs.

“Sure Sammy, what do you want? Jake?” You ask them.

“Just the usual. Thank you!” He says.

You grab the glasses and begin to make their drinks as they walk over to their normal table, leaving you alone with Danny.

“And for you?” You ask, already knowing what he wants.

“I’ll have the gorgeous girl behind the counter…” he says with a flirtatious wink.

“Well well well, you are trying to get back on my good side aren’t you?” You ask with a smirk.

“I am sorry that I have been so busy with work the past few days. How about you come over tonight and I will make it up to you?” He asks with a devilish grin.

“Maybe… I will think about it.” You smile coyly.

You hand him the finished drinks and he walks over to the other guys.

Over the next hour or so they come up once more for another drink, it is noticeably quieter without Josh. You feel a sadness creeping into your chest the more you think about him.

I need to text him. I need to tell him I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. Tell him that he’s right…. Anything that will make him forgive me. All he has done is show me love and kindness and I threw it in his face, pretending that I don’t need him. I know that I do.

Your mind drifts back to the night you spent with him not long ago. Everything was so perfect in the moment. You remember thinking how you wish things could just… stay that perfect. But it didn’t. You pull your phone from your pocket and pull up his contact, your finger hovering over the message button, contemplating if this is the right thing, but ultimately shoving the phone back in your pocket.

Maybe I’ll just wait a little longer. Give him some time to cool off.

The bell on the door rings, part of you hoping that it’s him. But it isn’t. It’s Olivia. Your heartbeat quickens and you feel your body temperature heating up.

What the hell is she doing back here? I thought I had seen the last of her.

She looks over to you with a piercing glare, prancing right over to their table and pulling up a seat right next to Danny. Making a point to dramatically throw her arm over his shoulder.

“Olivia…” Sam says with an eye roll… “How…lovely to see you again.”

She snaps her head to Sam and glares at him before turning to Danny.

“Daniel, thank you so much for letting me borrow this last night. So sweet of you. Just thought I would come return it to you.” She says, handing him a shirt.

I know that shirt. Thats the shirt Danny always gives me to sleep in… I would never forget that shirt. What the hell is going on?

“Oh.. yeah thanks…” he says nervously.

Borrow it last night? Last night? But he…he said he was tired…he was going to bed…

Oh no. This is what Josh meant… How could I be so stupid?

Your heart drops into your stomach and you feel your eyes fill with tears as Danny whips his head around to you. You immediately turn away and walk into the back room, grabbing a paper towel and quickly blotting away the tears about to spill over.

He has been lying to you. Not only that but he was with her. She was there with him as he talked to you on the phone. Wearing his clothes….

The stock room door opens, surprising you. It's Danny, standing in the doorway.

“Hey….” He says cautiously.

“No. Get out.” You say pointing.

“Just let me explain.” He begs.

“No, you lied! About last night! About her! About all of it! Just go!” You yell.

“No! Just…. Just listen!” He yells.

“Daniel Wagner do not make me kick you out of this bar again, because I will do it!” You say.

He recoils and stares at you, shaking his head before walking out of the room.

You compose yourself and try to steady your shaking hands walking back out to the bar.

As you come out you see Danny sitting back at the table. To your surprise Jake is standing at the bar, leaning into it.

You swallow back the lump in your throat.

“What can I do for you Jake?” You say faking confidence.

“I don’t need anything, but you can pretend to make something if you want to. I just want to talk to you.” He says quietly.

“About what?” You pretend to be unaffected.

“You know exactly what.” He says.

You brush it off.

“Where is Josh? Why isn’t he here?” You ask him.

“I think you know the answer to that, too.”

The ache in your chest is growing bigger, all you can think is that maybe all of this wouldn’t be so bad if he was here. He could at least help you feel better in the moment.

If you could just talk to him…

“This whole thing is fucked up Jake…” you ask, a tear slipping over the edge.

“Ahhh….” He mutters out, shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t know what to do. This is usually the part where I talk to Josh. He would know what to do.” You say.

“Why do you think that is, you suppose?” He asks. “Why is he the one you turn to?”

“Because… because he… he listens, he cares and he knows how to make me feel better. He always knows what to say.” You reply.

“And why do you think that is? Why does he always know exactly what to do? Exactly what to say?” He presses.

“I… don’t know.” You quickly reply.

A lie. You know exactly why. You don’t know that you’re ready to admit it yet.

“Ahh, but I think you do know. I think you are trying to convince yourself you don’t. I think you are letting your head rule over your heart. Maybe you should do a little searching. I bet you’ll find your answer.” He says, raising his eyebrows and walking back to the table.

How does he know all of this? Why is he right? Damn that twin intuition.

You shake out your arms, ridding the uneasiness from your body. You look over to the table and you can see that Danny is mad, his jaw is tense and his body is stiff and rigid.

Olivia is gathering her bag and begins to say her goodbyes, her hand lingering on Danny’s shoulder just a bit too long. You roll your eyes at her desperate attempt.

She walks past you out the door, giving you a fake and malicious half smile as she passes. You look over to the table to see Sam absolutely chewing Danny out, purposefully not listening to what he is saying.

It is getting close to time to close up for the night, and you pour 4 shots. One for you and 3 for them, nodding to Jake to come collect them. He comes up to the bar and smiles at your peace offering.

“Jake…. Thank you.” You say.

“For what?” He asks.

“I think you know the answer to that.” You say playfully.

A real smile crosses his face, and damn if it doesn’t look just like Josh’s. Your heart swells at the realization. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket.

D: Please come over after work.

You look up to see him looking at you and he mouths the word ‘Please’ to you.

You nod your head in agreement, and you notice his lips turn upward almost into a smile.

As you clean up the bar and get ready to close for the night you do a little of that searching Jake was talking about.

You think about Josh and Daniel and you think about how you ended up in the mess to begin with.

If this was the perfect scenario how would it play out? Who would you be with?

The guy who has always been there for you, a constant sense of peace, someone who cares for you and comforts you. The one who makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room? Or the guy who lights your body on fire, engaging you in an intoxicating cycle of highs and lows. He tells you he loves you, but do you feel it in his actions?

The answer seems pretty clear, but is it the answer you want?

You know this is going to end badly for one of them. But who do you want to be with when the fallout happens?

Again you reach the same answer.

Maybe you’ve always known the answer.

You lock up the bar as the rain pounds down into the pavement, shitty weather for a shitty day.

You pull your hood over your head and run to your car, getting absolutely soaked on the way.

Once inside the vehicle you turn the heat on full blast and try to wipe the water off your face with your wet hands. You are shaking with nerves as you drive to Danny’s house.

You park, grab your purse, and jump out of the car running to the safety of his covered porch. With a deep breath you begin knocking on the door.

“Oh gosh you’re soaked, hurry come in.” He says taking your coat.

“This rain is just the cherry on top…” you mutter.

“Do you want a drink or….” He asks awkwardly, you can tell he is nervous.

“No, I think we just need to talk. No alcohol.” You reply coldly. “I want to hear it from you. Tell me what is going on Daniel, and don’t you dare lie to me again. I haven’t talked to you or seen you in days, only to find out… actually just… start talking.”

“I don’t know, I have had a rough couple of days. I didn’t know what to do, or what to say… it was just easier to not say anything. I didn’t want to risk this…” he says gesturing between the two of you.

“I called you, I asked you if I could come over…. Was she here?” You ask.

He lets out a groan.

“Answer the question Danny.” You demand.

“Yes.” He replies. Tears well in your eyes.

“But it wasn’t… it wasn’t like that okay? I swear.” He begs.

“So what was it like? Because to me it looked pretty bad. Wearing your shirt? You know, the one that you had me wear after spending the night together… Where did she sleep Danny?” You ask.

“I had just gotten home from the studio, I was about to call you, I swear I was, and the doorbell rang. I opened it hoping it was you, but it was her. She came in and I don’t know, we were just talking and then it was late and you called and I didn’t know what to do so I shut you out and told you I was going to bed. I didn’t want her to have to Uber all the way back to downtown so I told her should could stay, and sleep on the couch if she wanted. She agreed and so I just gave her whatever was in the dryer to sleep in. I was just trying to do the right thing, but now it just seems so wrong.” He says.

“But did she? Did she sleep on the couch?” You ask.

He stares at you for a long minute before casting his eye to the floor. “No.”

“Did you sleep with her Danny?” You ask, not sure that you want to hear the answer.

“No, we just slept, I swear.” He answers.

“Do you love her?” You ask, tears streaming down your face.

“What?” He asks.

“You heard me, do you love her? Do you still love her Daniel.” You demand.

“I…..I don’t know.” He says finally shaking his head.

“I knew it.” You reply wiping your face.

“No! I love you too. Please… I don’t know what to do! We have a lot of history, her and I. It isn’t easy to just shut that off. I am trying to figure out my feelings, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t have any. I’m just confused.” He sighs outwardly.

“Well that makes two of us. I think we both need to just… take a break and figure it out.” You say.

“You want to break up?” He asks, almost scared.

“I think we have to Danny. We have tried to make this work over and over and every time I think we have found our footing we slip and fall again. I can’t keep getting hurt. We both can’t. This isn’t what love is supposed to look like. It shouldn’t have to be this hard.” You cry.

“Is this what you want? Are you sure?” He asks.

“No, of course it’s not, but it I think it has to be this way.” You say. “We can’t be together if you still love her, and it’s clear she still loves you.”

“But I do love you, I promise I do.” He says.

“I know, and I love you too, but sometimes we can love things that are bad for us.” You say placing your hand on his.

“I’m so sorry. I never meant for this to happen.” He says.

“I know you didn’t.” You reply.

You reach into your purse and pull out the shiny silver key he gave you a few days ago.

“For your next house sitter…” you say with a smile.

You see a tear fall from his eye as he takes it from your fingers.

Seeing him so emotional makes your own tears fall faster, your heart breaking into a million little pieces.

This is not how your story was supposed to end but it feels like it’s over. Love isn’t this painful, this confusing. I’m sure of that.

As you stand to leave you wipe your tears on your sleeve. He stands too and pulls you into his arms holding you against him, wrapping you in his arms for a hug. You breathe in deeply, the smell of him filling your lungs one last time.

When he releases you, you make your way to the door. The sob that is ready to pour out of you begins to creep its way up your chest.

“I’ll see you at the bar?” He asks, hopeful.

You nod your head in response and pull his door shut behind you. As soon as you step onto the porch the tears begin falling, heavy like the rain from the sky.

You run to your car and get in quickly, letting the sob rack from your chest as you lean on the steering wheel for support.

The only clear thought in your head is Josh. All you can think of is him, you need him right now. Need him to tell you everything is going to be okay. That you did the right thing. But you cant, because you told him that you didn’t need him. You hurt him, for no reason.

You pull your phone out of your purse and try to regain your composure, thinking maybe he might answer your phone call.

You call him and the phone rings and rings until you hear his voicemail.

Josh, please….

Your trembling fingers type out a text instead.

You: Josh, please I am so sorry.

As you sit and stare at the tiny screen, you pray he will answer you. You’re met with the notification that he had read it. You hold your breath and wait to see his response but nothing ever comes.

You: I was wrong, I need you.

Again, read but no reply.

You know Josh, you know that he would never want to have this conversation over the phone, let alone a text. He would want to talk in person. So you decide that you’re going to drive straight to his house and tell him everything. If he still doesn’t want to talk to you you’ll accept it, but you have to try.

As you pull into his driveway your heart is pounding in your chest so hard you think you might pass out. The rain is coming down so heavy that you can barely see in front of your car. You see a light on inside and you know he is still awake.

Prepared to get soaked you fling your car door open and run to the porch. The rain falls heavily onto the hood of your jacket and you are dripping wet as you knock on his door. So overcome with your emotions your tears begin to fall again, only adding to the wetness. A minute passes and nothing.

Please answer….

You begin to cry harder at the thought of losing him too. There is no way you can handle that.

You hear the lock spin and the door knob turn and you are met with the sight of him. You can see in his face that he is sad. You can’t help but feel relieved that this is affecting him as badly as it’s affecting you. Even with bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair he looks just as handsome as ever. Seeing him makes everything hit you all over again, remembering why you are here in the first place. The wave of emotion that had been building up finally washing over you as your tears stream down your face.

“Josh…I'm so sorry, I know I fucked up. I should never have said the things I did. You were right, about everything. You've been right! I do need you. I’ll always need you.” you sob and look up to meet his gaze under your wet lashes.

The rain is coming down so hard that you almost miss the heave of his chest as he releases a deep sigh.

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thelavenderbunnie · 1 year

Text

Crave (Chapter 1)

Word count: 10.4k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

JOSH POV

It’s been a long day. The longest day, and it wasn’t even over yet.

The night before spilled into the earliest hours of this morning, your time spent twisted in between the sheets with the woman you’ve been waiting for. The sound of your alarm blaring would come too quickly, harshly pulling you back to reality.

Today when you wake up though, you feel like you’re still in a dream. Your eyes flutter open to find her still curled next to you, her fingertips running across your body causing goosebumps to rise in the places left behind. You take a deep breath and the remnants of her perfume clouds your senses. You are absolutely positive it does not get better than this. Starting your morning this way is enough to get you through today’s session. With the promise of seeing her later, you head to the studio, hoping that you’re not the last one there.

The entire drive you can’t help but smile from ear to ear, reminiscing on the events from the night prior. You replay her giggles, you wish you could hear that sound every day for the rest of your life. Your cheeks start to heat thinking about the way she got brave after a few drinks. Beginning to touch you more often, intentionally brushing her thigh against yours, moving her face dangerously closer and closer to yours while staring at your mouth. You hope these memories will stay in your mind forever, like a film, just for you to press play when you need it.

Finally you arrive to the studio and realize that you are in fact the last one there, but you don’t dare explain why. The smile plastered to your face should explain enough. As you step into the sound booth, everyone stares at you questioningly.

Jake stares at you, silently asking what you’re so chipper about, you responding in your head, and as if he could hear you he raises his eyebrows with a nod.

Sam looks puzzled sitting on the couch, not caring enough to pry, and Daniel…won’t even look at you.

What’s eating him?

“Well, are you ready to get this over with?” Danny asks the group.

“Let’s do it.” Sam replies.

The day goes relatively smoothly. You re-record the chorus of a song, as Sam sits at the mixer. Danny comes over the intercom, “Josh that sounded like shit, lets re-cut it.” He says harshly.

“Um, typically its me criticizing myself…and I thought that was a pretty good take…” you reply defensively.

“No, it wasn’t, just do it again.” He snaps.

What the hell? Apparently he is still in a mood. He was quiet at the bar last night.

“Okay, Sam, can you run the track back please, seems I am ‘doing it again’...” You say snidely.

After a little bit of back and forth, things seemed to mellow out for the rest of the day, but you can tell something has Danny pissed off, and you have all been walking on eggshells around him all day. You decide to confront him as you begin to wrap up for the day.

“Hey man, is everything okay, you seem…volatile.” You question.

“Oh, no Josh everything is just perfect, really…” he says sarcastically.

You give him an insulted look and shrug your shoulders, walking away.

Jeez, whatever it is, he does not want to talk about it. Fine.

You brush it off and decide to move on. You’re still reeling from the best night of your life, you aren’t going to let your moody friend put a damper on it. You don’t deserve to deal with his bullshit anyway, it’s not like it’s your fault he’s having a bad day.

You feel a twinge of nervous excitement in your chest as you realize you’ll see your girl shortly. There is no better feeling than seeing her after a long day, but this time it’s different. She really is your girl and now that you’ve had her, you’re never letting her go.

Okay, Josh. Just have to play it cool with the guys for a bit, let them warm up to the idea. Maybe I’ll start flirting in front of them a bit. Let them see us in action so it’s less of a surprise.

As you get in your car the nerves begin to fill your chest. The drive over isn’t too long, part of the reason you always go there. At first it was just easy to go where Jake and the guys wanted to go, but then as you got to know her… it changed. You wanted to go there, you wouldn’t think of going anywhere else.

Why are you so nervous? You see her every single day… You were naked in her bed together less than 12 hours ago, get it together man.

As you roll into the gravel parking lot, you take a deep centering breath, throw your door open and step out. The rest of the guys pull up around the same time, rowdy as usual, ready to have a drink and unwind.

You all clamber inside the front door, the little bell ringing over head, a sound you’ve grown to love. As everyone rushes straight to our usual table, you look over to the left and there she is, both hands on the bar top, leaning against it with a smile as she sees you all coming in.

She is so breathtaking. I hope she never stops greeting me with that smile, it’s intoxicating.

“I’ll grab the first round boys, the usual?” You ask, as they continue walking, nodding their heads in agreement.

Ready to rip the band-aid off, you walk over to the bar with a sheepish smile on your face. Holding your hands together nervously.

Somehow she is even more beautiful now than she was before.

“Hello, doll…” you say with a smile, finally making eye contact with her.

“Well hello stranger…” she says playfully, giggling out of obvious nerves, her cheeks blushing slightly.

“Sounds like we are all up for the usual tonight.” You say.

“I think I can do that.” She says reaching over to grab a few glasses.

“Did you guys have a good day?” She asks, making the drinks.

You bring your hands up to cradle your cheeks, your elbows that are placed on the bar top supporting the weight of your head. “Yeah it was…an interesting day for sure.” You reply, pondering.

“Really? Why does it seem like a bad thing?” She asks.

“Ahh, just band stuff… not everyone got to wake up to you this morning.” You reply, flirting a little.

You see her swallow and blink forcefully.

Okay, maybe laying it on a little too thick, reel it back dude. She hasn’t even said anything about it yet, you need to slow down.

“Well, I’m sure these will help…” she says pushing the drinks forward.

You smile at her and nod, taking the drinks back to the table and setting them down. Trying not to overthink whatever interaction just happened.

Hoping to deescalate some of Daniel’s tension you pat him on the back and hand him his drink.

“You did great today dude, this is gonna be our best one yet. I just know it.” You say.

He picks up the glass and throws back the entirety of the Whiskey.

Damn, I haven’t even sat down yet…

“You good, Daniel? I haven’t even taken a sip yet…” Sam laughs as he brings the bottle of beer to his lips.

“Yeah man… didn’t get much sleep last night. Counting on a whiskey slumber tonight.” Danny replies, with an edge on his voice.

Jake shoots you a curious look, and you slightly shake your head insinuating that you have no idea what’s going on. Sam looks at you the same way.

Why would I know?

Suddenly you see Sam’s face change as an idea crosses his mind.

“Hey, pretty lady!” Sam stands up and yells across the bar, hoping to grab her attention. Her eyes landing directly on him, never faltering.

“My friend Daniel here, needs a refill, already! I think there was a hole in his glass. Why don’t we do a round of shots too, I think we could all use a night of fun.” he wiggles his eyebrows and laughs as he sits back down.

She nods her head and begins making the shots, lining up the glasses and pouring in the alcohol. She then mixes a few more drinks, shaking the metal shaker, looking directly at you, a sudden warmth creeping across your chest.

You turn back to the guys, so not to be obviously staring at her.

“You really just cant go one night without making us all suffer, huh Sammy?” Jake jokes.

Sam shrugs his shoulder and bounces his legs excitedly as she begins to walk over to the table with the tray.

“Alright! Hey! Have a shot with us!” Sam pleads with her, she looks torn on whether she should or not, you can see it on her face.

What is up with her tonight? Just this morning you were on cloud nine. Or at least you were… is she regretting it already?

“Here, you can have mine. Doesn’t mix well with my beer.” Jake says, handing her his glass.

Sam raises his eyebrows as he begins his toast, “To the best bartender around…”

Everyone tips their shot glasses back, swallowing down the spicy liquid.

“Bartending isn’t the only thing she’s known for around here, huh?” Daniel says, under his breath.

What the fuck does that mean?

Daniels eyes are staring daggers directly into her, and she looks shocked at the harshness of his statement, you still unsure of what is going on. He is practically shaking with anger.

You can’t let him attack her, he can say whatever he wants to you, but not her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask confrontationally.

“Well, I mean she is pretty good lay, too. At least I think so… What do you think, Josh? Saw your car at her apartment before the sun came up this morning. Did she fuck you so good? Fuck you right to sleep? She’s good at that.” he asks pointedly at you, letting out a small scoff.

What? How would he….wait…Her and Danny? They hate each other….oh god.

When would they have gotten together? How long has it been going on? Why does it hurt as bad as it does? Why is he doing this now? In front of the guys? Fuck this.

Trying to ignore the pain in your chest and your mind racing a million miles a minute, you narrow your eyes at him.

“Danny. I think you need to shut your fucking mouth. Now. Before you say anything else that you’ll regret. We can talk about this in private. Not here.” You snap at him.

“No, I think we should all talk now. That way Jake and Sammy can know what they are getting themselves into if she tries to go four for four with us.” He replies, bitterness lining every word.

Holy shit, he is really trying to cut her deep. He is pissed.

“Go on… Tell them how we’ve been fucking for weeks. Sneaking around after hours…

Pretending to hate each other, while we fuck our brains out behind closed doors. Tell poor Josh here, that he isn’t the only one who has been inside you lately. Whore…” he says, practically spitting venom.

You feel a pang in your chest as the words leave his mouth.

Weeks? How did you not know?

You slept together… why didn’t she…say something. Oh god, I told her how bad I’ve wanted her. That I’ve been thinking about it for so long. This explains why she is acting the way she is. It wasn’t supposed to happen. At least not in her mind.

You look to her as the shot glass in her hand falls and shatters to the floor. Her breathing is rapid and her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Despite your anger and embarrassment you want to grab her, steal her away from this. But you cant, your head is spinning and you aren’t sure what to do but you know that you absolutely cannot let him talk to her like this. Not ever. You quickly stand up and tower over Danny, getting as close to his face as you can.

“Don’t you ever speak like that to her again. Especially here?! Where she fucking WORKS?! This is exactly why you will never be with her, dude. You are a fucking dick. Why would she want to be with someone who isn’t even man enough to treat her with respect? Get a fucking grip. This conversation is finished, the three of us can continue it elsewhere.” You yell, overcome with emotion.

You feel tears forming in your own eyes, you can’t tell if it’s because you’re mad, hurt, embarrassed… maybe all three. Her eyes meet yours for a second before you tear them away from hers.

You don’t want her to see you upset.

How could you be so stupid to think she wanted you the way you wanted her.

Struggling to get the words out you turn to your twin, needing to get out of there quickly,

“Jake, can you get the tab? I need to go.” you manage to say, unable to hide the emotion in your voice.

Jake nods and motions towards the door, you know he can tell that you’re upset, feel it even. He doesn’t dare ask. You throw back the rest of the drink in your glass, grab your keys off the table and walk straight out the door without a look back.

As you reach your car you fling the door open and get inside slamming the it behind you.

“Fuck” you yell, hitting the steering wheel with both hands. You place your elbows on the wheel, resting your head in your hands. You sit there just for a moment, trying to process everything that just happened.

She’s been sleeping with Daniel for weeks. She didn’t tell you and slept with you. Danny found out and he is furious. Well, now you’re furious. How did I get into this mess?

You throw the car into reverse and back out of the parking lot, tires spinning as you leave. You see Sam and Daniel walking to Sam’s car as you pull into traffic.

God, I cannot believe I was so stupid as to think her and I would ever be anything. I should have never told him to go after her. He must have done it… the one time he actually listened to you…

Speeding down the interstate, the music blaring from the speakers is interrupted by a phone call. Jake is calling. You blow out an exasperated breath, knowing exactly what he wants.

“Hello.” You say blankly.

“Josh… what the fuck?” He asks.

“I have no idea. I thought… I didn’t know they were…this whole thing is fucked.” You reply.

“No, I know you didn’t know. I didn’t know either. None of us did. I mean, what the fuck are you doing leaving her like that? I thought you liked her?” He replies.

“I don’t know, seemed like the right thing… I don’t know….fuck…I just couldn’t stay there. I would have said something I didn’t mean and I do like her, I have always liked her. Last night we finally… we came together and I thought she wanted me too…but now, I don’t know up from down. ” You say, struggling to explain.

“I think she does, she was a mess when I was closing out. I think you need to go back. Talk to her, figure this shit out. You and I both know Danny isn’t going to do it. She needs someone, and I think it’s you.” He says imploringly.

You breathe a long sigh out, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel checking the time on the clock. You whip your car around, heading back to the bar, knowing that Jake is right.

“Alright, fine.” You reply.

“Good, you call me if you need anything. I am going to call Sam, see if he is tending to Daniel’s fire or if I need to step in. We can’t let this shit come between us… I think you know that.” He says scolding you.

“I fucking know, Jacob. I’m not a child. If I thought things were in jeopardy I wouldn’t be going to her, I would be going to him. I’ll talk to him, okay? Just let me talk to her first, figure things out and then I’ll talk to him.” You reply.

“Alright, good luck brother.” He says ending the call.

You smash the red phone button on your steering wheel, making sure the call ended.

You can’t help the hot tears that fall from your eyes, littering your pants with tiny wet spots. You can’t believe the dramatic turn of events that have happened today, waking up feeling on top of the world and ending the day under the weight of it. You are upset with her, with him.

You pull back into the parking lot, it’s empty apart from her car.

Maybe I should go in? Jake said she was a mess, I shouldn’t let her revel in it.

No. Wait for her to come out. Give her some space. What am I even going to say? I am so furious.

I just need to talk to her. Just need to hear it from her. Give her a chance to explain everything. Maybe it didn’t happen the way I think it did. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions.

You tap your fingers on the center console impatiently, just waiting. Replaying everything that happened, tears continue to leak out of the corner of your eyes.

You really thought she wanted you. You thought last night was it, the turning point you had been waiting for after so many weeks of flirtatious conversations and innocent touches. I guess it didn't mean to her what it meant to you.

You don’t know how long it has been, you have been sitting here for what feels like an hour, watching and waiting to see the door open. Finally, it does. You immediately jump out and see her approaching, her hood up on her coat. Her face is red and splotchy. She has definitely been crying and is still clearly upset over everything. You lean against the front of your car, giving her the option on whether she wants to talk. She doesn’t say anything, you’re not sure if her silence is because she has nothing to say or she is afraid she will lose it again.

“You think we can talk? You manage, almost a whisper. Something about her disheveled appearance leaving you breathless.

“I don’t think I am good company right now.” She replies, gripping the cuffs of her coat nervously. Even when you’re upset with her, you can’t help but find everything she does absolutely heartwarming.

“Please. We really need to talk. Tonight.” You beg, hoping she will just take the chance to tell you everything from her perspective. Even if it is the last thing you want to hear, you need the closure. Maybe it will help you move on. Or at least try to… Maybe she will surprise you, tell you that her time with Daniel was a mistake, and you’re the one she wants.

Snap out of it. Feeding those delusions is not helping anyone.

She looks at you for a minute, contemplating her options.

“Okay, you can come over to my place…God Josh, I am the one who should be begging for you to talk to me. Not the other way around.” She cries out, clearly dealing with internal conflict just like you are.

“Let’s just talk when we get there.” You say reassuringly as you step back into your car, starting it and following her out.

The drive there you prepare yourself for what is likely to be a hard conversation. You need to hear it from her though. It’s the only way. The time spent with your thoughts causing your anger and sadness to bubble up, not sure what emotion you’re feeling most. You want to be mad, and you are. But ultimately you’re just upset. The amount of grief you have over a relationship that never even began overtaking the animosity you have towards her and Danny.

You pull into the empty parking space next to her car, and walk up the stairs to her door. She fidgets with the key and unlocks the door, immediately shedding her heavy layers on the table near the door.

She throws herself onto her couch and holds her head in her hands. You can tell she is beating herself up pretty badly.

“Josh, I…” she stops.

You sit down next to her and place a hand on her back, just trying to help her relax a bit. You realize how deep in this you are, still needing to comfort her when you feel like you have a knife in your own chest.

“I need you to tell me everything. I don’t care about what happened, but I need to hear it from you. Please.” You say, tears nearing the brim of your eyes, threatening to spill over.

“It was never supposed to be like this, Josh. It just… happened. and now…” she stops again, her eyes also filling with tears.

“I know…” you reply, just hoping that offering a piece of understanding will help her get it out. “I really wish you would have said something to me last night. I never would have said the things that I said if I had known. It didn’t have to be this way.” You say, not trying to add to her pain but hoping she will understand that she should have told you what had happened between them before you shared your feelings and took things to the level that it went.

“I thought it was just going to be the one time, and I thought he did too. But every time we would see each other…. I think we both knew that it was never just the one time.…I guess it really all started at the bar.”

Were we in the same room? All I ever saw was Daniel being an ass… How does he still get the girl after acting like a complete dickhead?

“At first everything was so normal. You all would come in every night, you’d order your drinks, we would small talk and that was it. Somewhere down the road you started to become my friends. Each of you in your own ways. Sammy, the dramatic jokester always down for a good time and a song, Jake the very serious problem solver, the voice of reason within your group, and someone I could count on to keep things in check when it began to get too rowdy. And you, my shoulder to lean on and a friend I could always talk to about anything, you were a constant each night. I would look forward to your turns to get drinks knowing I would always feel warm after our conversations, whether they be 5 minutes or 25.”

You were my constant too. All I ever saw was you. If only you knew how many hard times you got me through by just the thought of speaking to you for a minute or seeing your smile after a shit day. You will never understand what you mean to me.

Shaking your head from your thoughts you refocus, and listen.

“Then there was Danny. I wouldn’t say we ever became friends, we were hardly acquaintances.… In the beginning he wasn’t mean, he was just, quiet, almost shy. Somewhere along the way something happened…. Feelings began to form right under our noses. Every night, stealing glances at each other. His eyes lingering on mine for just a little too long. We both felt it. We were like magnets to each other. I think we both denied feeling it for so long that it got lost.”

I guess I did notice them looking at each other a lot… I thought they were both just being hyper aware of the other’s presence, trying to avoid one another at all costs. How stupid am I to not realize what it actually was.

“He had a girlfriend and I was still relatively new in town, I was trying to settle in… One night it changed. You remember… he got so drunk, he was trying to fight people, calling me names… I know now, he was just hurt, looking for someone to blame.”

I remember it well, the first night I felt like I had to protect you.

“After kicking him out that night our dynamic changed. He was no longer watching me from across the room, instead he was glaring, and I would return it. It became an obsessive need to match his energy. His words cutting me, so I would cut him right back. We both craved it. I could just tell. I started to see a fire in his eyes each night he would walk into the bar, he craved the toxicity of whatever it was we were dancing around. So we continued, every night being as hateful as we could to each other.”

You feel a pang through your heart. Your stomach is in knots and you aren’t sure you want to hear any more. You know you need to though, to understand the depth of this connection they share.

How could she not see me? Not notice me longing for her, too? Why could she only see him? Why would she want him? With his hateful words and impulsive actions, when I have so many beautiful and tender words waiting… just for her. Only for her. I could write a million words about her and it would never be enough.

You swallow down the pain in your chest, and try to focus on what she is saying.

She is so beautiful, you don’t understand why she couldn’t just want you like you wanted her. She has so much to offer that Danny will never see…never value like you do.

“A few weeks ago, a guy came into the bar and I was talking to him. Things were going good… I thought he might have liked me. But then something I have never seen in Danny made its appearance. He was…jealous. He lied to the guy and made him believe something that was the farthest from the truth. Was awful about it too. He just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else having me. He wouldn’t admit it at the time, but I see it so clearly now.” She says through shaky breaths.

You remember this, that night. She was so upset, you talked to her for a while afterwards, but you see now that her anger was rose colored.

“I was so furious at him that night. I knew I was going to go straight to his house and smack him right across the face. But when I got there, with all my courage gathered up, I froze. I could hardly even remember what I was doing there. I remembered I had his house key from when I house sat, so I told him thats why I was there. He had just showered and he was only in a towel. It was the first time I really ever looked at him like that, you know? The first time I ever really saw him. His hardened, mean facade turned playful and alluring, just for a split second, and I liked it. I was attracted to it.”

You know. You know right then. She loves him. The way she’s talking about him, its so… clear. Anything you thought she might have felt for you, couldn’t have been real. It had to be the alcohol. You should have known better. Thousands of screaming fans, but the only face you ever really saw was hers. But she hasn’t seen yours in the same light.

“My head was spinning. I rushed straight home, the whole way convincing myself that was I was feeling wasn’t what I thought. Replaying every hurtful thing he ever said in an effort to stifle back that feeling. That was the night I knew that things had really changed between us. It was shifting, to something else. Something more. I can keep going but I don’t want to say too much, I don’t want you to be upset. I know this is a lot….”

You snap back quickly, “No, keep going. I need to know.”

“You texted me the next day, and invited me to come to your party at your house. I didn’t think I was going to go, but something convinced me I should. I wanted to go, simply because you had asked me. I was happy to hear from you outside of the bar. I knew he would be there, I was nervous, but knew I had this underlying craving to see him. So I decided that if I was going to go, I was going to make it interesting.” She says.

Another blow to your chest.

I thought you came for me. When you texted me you were coming I couldn’t stop smiling. Jake asked what I was so happy about but I gave him some bullshit excuse about just being excited to be social. I tried on what must have been 15 outfits before I found one I thought you would like. I wore my favorite cologne. I was sure that was the night I was going to tell you how I felt after all this time.

“After what had happened the night before, I knew that things between us were going to heat up. The build up was finally reaching the apex. The entire night our eyes never broke from each others. Silently calling for one another. Each of us with different people, just wishing it was the other. We could both feel the electricity in the air between us. I decided that I was going to really push his buttons. I acted on the feelings that I was feeling, knowing he would cave. I knew I had him, I could make him do anything I wanted. Finally, he snapped. He drug me out of the party and took me back to his house.”

Your breath catches and you feel your self wincing almost outwardly from the pain of her words.

He did it? He actually took her for his own? How could your own best friend not see that you were in love with her?

“We both knew we shouldn’t be doing it, but we just couldn’t stop. How could two people who have been so awful to each other end up in this situation? All night we fed off of each other, using each other like a drug. We were addicted. It was harsh and vile and wonderful. We both knew things wouldn’t go back to how they had been. We snuck around for weeks, lying straight to all of your faces. Slowly the hatefulness started to wear away, the hate fucking became regular fucking, maybe even something more. His feelings were shifting, and he was still pushing them back….”

A heavy sigh leaves your chest.

What a fool, the most beautiful girl in the world, and he still won’t commit to her.

What a mistake. I would never let you go…

“Right before you all left for the UK we had a big blowout fight, and he told me that we would never be anything more than what we were in that moment. That he would never be with a girl like me. It killed me, I thought we had gotten past it. Because I mean, wasn’t he with me? We were fucking? Anyways, the only thing I could do was to fight him back. I said something I didn’t mean and we didn’t speak after that. Not the entire time you were gone.”

Every night you would think of her face, while she dreamt of the guy sleeping above you, and you had no idea. The guy who was fucking groupies while this beautiful girl just waited to hear from him.

You feel sick, and your breathing becomes shaky again as you listen.

“The night you guys came in after you got back was the first time we had spoken or seen each other in weeks, but the spark was still there. I could see it in his eyes no matter how much he tried to pretend it was gone. I overheard you all talking about him getting with a groupie and the way he looked at me when he knew I heard… I thought I had been shot. I couldn’t even comprehend why I was so hurt. I was sad but couldn’t let him see that. As far as I knew he had moved on from whatever we were doing.”

You nod your head to show her you’re still here, still listening.

“But you were there to pick me up, to make it go away. I will never be able to tell you how much that meant to me. It was the most beautiful night I’ve probably ever had, even with all the alcohol. You were perfect and gentle and tender. Everything I ever wanted for myself Josh, really.” She cries.

It meant everything to me. I will never let it go. It may have been the best night of my life, just to be followed by the worst.

“But something wasn’t right. Somewhere in the very back of my mind, I was still wanting him. Wishing for him to come around. Hoping he would realize that maybe the feelings he was stifling back were something more.”

When will I ever be enough…

“I think a part of me has always known that we would end up together, but ignored it, and hoped it would die down. But it didn’t. In fact that part got bigger, more needy. Desperate for him. Constantly longing to be near him. I wish more than anything that I didn’t feel this way about him. I know it’s wrong, every part of me knows I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do and I cant push it back anymore. I haven’t ever felt like this about anyone. I just wish it could have been different. I wish it could have been you Josh, I really do. But it’s him, it’s always been him.”

It will always be you for me, my beautiful girl. Always.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you nod your head that you understand, because you do. You understand that she loves him, he probably loves her too. You have to let her go to him, but you also have to tell her how you feel, how you’ve beenfeeling. It’s now or never. Your heart is beating out of your chest, you’re almost sure it’s loud enough to be audible. You take a deep breath and begin.

“Every night we come to the same bar. Do you know why?” You ask.

“No.” She whispers.

“In the beginning, it was because of convenience, a quiet place to go with good drinks… Towards the middle it became comfortable, a familiar face to always greet us and a place to relax, and somewhere around the end it became my escape. Where I could walk in and forget my outside life, knowing I would see you there.

Every night when we would walk in and I would see you, every minuscule inconvenience of my day would be gone. You were just so beautiful and refreshing. So easy to talk to and connect with. I pined for you from across the bar for as long as I can remember. Everyone knew it. Sam, Jake. Everyone except you and him. But I couldn’t bring myself to make a move, couldn’t risk losing it. My safe place.

The day I invited you to that party, I thought maybe I would be able to tell you…I saw you and him inside. The way you were looking at each other. I think I knew then too. He came to me outside, he was worked up, anxious… a mess. I knew then he felt the same way about you that I did, so I did what any good friend would do. I put my feelings aside, I told him to go get you. He didn’t understand how I knew, but I did, because I saw you the same way he did. The way he looked at you… it was the same way I did. But you didn’t see me, you were too busy looking at him. I didn’t know you went home with him that night. I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming. I basically forced it to happen. ” you say, tears close to falling.

The biggest mistake of my life so far. I basically pushed you into his arms.

Her eyes are searching your face, looking for any emotion to cling to.

“Josh, I…I’m so sorry…” she says, grabbing your hands, rubbing her thumbs across your knuckles. The feeling of her skin on yours, twisting the knife deeper in your heart. Taking another breath you continue.

“For weeks I tried to work up the courage to tell you at the bar, but I never could, especially knowing how Danny felt that night. You two were always arguing and you would always seem upset and I just wanted to comfort you. I knew the timing wasn't right. We left for the UK and I thought about you every single night. I would lie awake in my bunk imagining your smile waiting for me at the bar when I got home. I almost texted you a few drunken nights, always reigning myself back in. I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.

The day we got back I couldn’t wait to get to the bar. To see you. To be close to you.

You know what happened next. While I know now that it shouldn’t have happened, I am glad it did. If it was my only chance to have you I will never regret taking that chance. I only wish you would have told me beforehand. It seems we are in a mess now and I’m not sure how we fix it. ”

It shouldn’t have happened, but I will never, ever forget it.

“Josh, I care about you so much and I wish things could have happened differently. I’ll never be able to tell you how badly I wanted it to be us. I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am that it isn’t us. You’re kind, thoughtful, intentional. You are everything I should want and need in a partner. I would be so lucky to ever have you, in any lifetime, but I think in this one I end up with someone else. This story doesn’t have a happy ending for us.” She says, tears flowing down her cheeks.

I wish it was us. I so badly need you to see yourself how I see you. Worthy of only the best and sweetest kind of love. Not this. You deserve everything. But you deserve to be happy, and if this is it…. I will be the bystander.

You reach up and swipe away the tear away from her face.

“I know. I knew as soon as I saw your face tonight, he may as well pulled your heart out right there. I knew you loved him.” You manage.

“Josh I don’t love him?” She replies shocked.

You know she just doesn’t understand her feelings yet. It’s clear to you though. As painful as it is to admit, she talks about him like he puts the stars in the sky, even after all of his faults. The same way you talk about her.

“But thats the thing. You do. You always have, you just haven’t realized it fully yourself yet. When he enters the room, your cheeks flush. When he talks to you your breath catches in your throat. You bite your lips and lean closer to him, and him to you. When he tells a story, you are captivated, hanging on his every word, even from across the room. Shit, you just talked about him for twenty minutes straight… I know what it feels like to be in love, but now I can say I have seen it too. You just spent so much of your time and energy fighting with each other that you never stopped to ask yourselves what was fueling the hate, what kind of tension it was. All along it was what would eventually turn into this. If you feel like even a tiny bit of that is true, you’ll go to him. He loves you too, I know he does.” You reply.

How could he not?

You can see the panic, the relief setting in on her face at finally being able to put a word to the feeling. It crushes you.

It should be you, not him. You’d give anything to be in his shoes.

“Oh god. Everything is such a mess…everything is ruined.” She cries.

“It’s not, it’s only really just begun. You are an amazing woman, any man on Earth would be lucky to have you, even for five minutes. But like you said, your story doesn’t end with us, it ends with him. I will never understand, but I know somehow that this is the right thing.” You say.

I truly will never understand why for once it couldn’t be me. What am I doing wrong? What am I missing?

“I think I do love him. I don’t know when it happened, but it did. Neither of us wanted this. This wasn’t part of the plan. I don’t even know how to fix it…Oh god, and Jake, and Sammy…they hate me too. I could see it on their faces…” she says nervously.

There it is, the words to end it all. She does love him. I need to get out of here. I need to go lay down and pretend this entire night didn’t happen.

You place a reaffirming hand on her shoulder, gripping it slightly.

“I will smooth things over with them, leave that part to me. Jake was just feeling what I felt. It's literally in his DNA. Sam is Daniel’s best friend, he will be on his side first and foremost. But you know he can’t stay mad about anything. I will talk to them both. Things will be okay. You just need to fix it with Daniel.” You say confidently, you know you just have to explain to Jake and he will take care of Sam.

“But won’t seeing me with him… I don’t want to hurt you Josh.” She whispers.

I am already hurt, I don’t know if it gets worse than this.

You know she needs you to help her down the right path, so you gather your courage and tell her.

“Seeing you happy is what matters the most to me. Do I wish it was me? Of course. But just know, I will be watching and at the first sign of him not treating you right, I will be there to put him in his place and take you for my own.” He says, with a soft smile. “So go. You need to tell him everything you just told me. All of it. Bring the fire with you. Hold his ass accountable, never let him talk to you like that again. About pissed me right off. Be mad at him, yell at him, but mostly, tell him you love him. It’s time.” You say.

“You heard him tonight…. He doesn’t want to see me. He wants nothing to do with me.” She says doubting herself.

“Is that why your phone has buzzed two times since I have been here?” You ask with a smirk.

She runs to her phone and a tiny smile crosses her face and you know.

“He may not be blood, but he is still my brother. I know him like I know myself. This is why we had to do this, tonight. We needed to do this, so you could go to him without the burden of this.” You say gesturing between the two of you, standing up, and pulling your coat on.

“I forgive you, and I’ll always be here for you. But please, go to him and fight for this. One day I will have my great love story, but this one is yours.” You say.

I wish it was our love story my girl. You deserve this love, not whatever misconstrued love he is offering. Deserve anything you want.

You grab your keys off the table, taking one last look at her beautiful face, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek, the only way you can have her now. Releasing her and stepping out the door, shutting it gently behind you.

Alone, again.

You walk down to car, taking refuge in the cold cab. Waiting to let the tears fall until you pull away.

This is the right thing.… You are doing the right thing. She loves him. You have to let her try.

Gripping the steering wheel you fight through the tears to make it home. You keep saying that over and over in your head. Trying to convince yourself that you didn’t just make another mistake by giving up the fight and pushing her right back to his arms, again.

When will it be your turn? How are you supposed to move on? Anyone else doesn’t hold a candle to her, and now that I’ve had her… I’m fucked.

As you pull into the driveway you put your car in park and immediately go inside. It’s late and you know you have to go to the studio tomorrow. You turn the shower on the let the water warm up and you look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot and your hair is a mess. You look like you have been through it. You find yourself replaying what Daniel said tonight, and how he must have thought you did what you did on purpose. You might be pining over his girl, but you would never do that to him. He is your brother, and if you had known they were already getting together you would have never allowed the night to go where it went, no matter how badly you craved it.

Fuck, I need to talk to him. Maybe tomorrow at the studio. Unless…Surely he wouldn’t no show… Right?

Shedding your clothes you jump into the scalding hot shower, hoping to wash away the night and the hurt that came with it. As the water cascades down your face you think of her. How her face looked when she cried, the slight shake of her hands when she was talking. The emotions radiating off of her body.

You push it from your mind and finish your shower, quickly changing and getting into bed. You pull the string on your lamp and plug in your phone. Closing your eyes, begging for sleep to take you away, but it doesn’t.

You toss and turn all night, the conversation from tonight replaying over and over in your head. Her words on an endless loop.

‘I’ll never be able to tell you how badly I wanted it to be us.’

It doesn’t matter, your actions speak louder than your words, and you chose him. I still wasn’t enough, even if deep down you knew that it should have been me.

You toss and turn the rest of the night, sleeping in small increments when the loud blaring of your alarm pulls you from the longest stretch you were able to manage.

You only have about two hours until you need to be leaving and you are already dreading it. You pull yourself out of bed and begin your morning. Well, afternoon at this point.

A while later as you sit on the couch you think about what the day will be like today, and your mind wanders to Danny. You shoot him a quick text, testing the waters.

You: You’re coming today, right?

Daniel: Yes.

You: Ok.

Okay, well at least he replied and he’s coming.

Throwing your phone on the coffee table, you try to read more of your book but you just cant seem to get her out of your head. So you let her stay, just for a while.

As you open the door to the studio, you are the last to arrive as usual. As you step into the sound booth all of them go silent on their conversation and stare at you.

“Oh come on… what? I am only 10 minutes late this time!” You say, thinking they were talking about you being late. There is a weird energy surrounding everyone, but you know that things are probably still a little tense from last night.

“You ready to get started?” Jake asks, changing the subject.

“Let’s do it, did you listen to that sample?” Daniel replies.

“Yes, sounds better. Let’s start with that.” Jake says.

You look between the two of them and then over to Sam who has a smug look on his face. You raise your eyebrows at him and he shakes his head slightly.

Ok…something is definitely up.

You wait all day for the blowup from Daniel, but it never comes. He seems to be acting fairly normal, which can only mean one thing. She went to him last night. It would explain all of it. Although you shouldn’t be surprised, you did tell her to.

Wrapping up the session you are all sitting in the mixing booth chatting when Sam speaks up.

“Sixty’s?” He asks.

“I’m in.” Jake says, placing his guitar in the hard case, clipping the locks.

“Yeah, I will meet you guys there.” Daniel replies.

“Okay, twist my arm…” you joke. When in fact you are dreading stepping in there today, knowing that something definitely has transpired between the two of them.

As everyone gathers their things and head out the doors Daniel grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Josh, we need to talk.” He says.

“I know, I was hoping to avoid it though.” You reply with a smile. Really hoping to brush it all under the rug and head out to drink your sorrows away. You’re not sure you can handle hearing him talk about her after the conversation you endured last night.

“I’m sorry about last night man, I was so heated. Didn’t occur to me that you had no idea.” He says.

“No, I didn’t know and I’m sorry I slept with your girl. I would have never…. You know… If I had known…” you stammer. Looking for the right words.

“Thank you. For talking to her last night. I owe you everything for sending her back to me.” He says, letting out a relieved breath.

I should be happy for him, I can tell he is genuinely happy right now. He loves her too. But fuck, it should be me.

“Brother, I would do anything for you. I knew she loved you 5 minutes into our conversation. She told me everything I would ever hope someone would say about me one day. I told her she needed to go tell you all of that. I’m guessing everything went well?” You ask, hoping for more information but trying not to pry.

“It did…more than well. I just don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us. I love her, but dude I love you too. Need you both.” He says with a hopeful smile.

“Ah, you cant get rid of me that easily. No hard feelings. Love her hard, she deserves it.” You reply, grabbing your stuff and nodding towards the door. Both of you getting in your cars and heading to the bar.

You pull up at the same time, parking and walking in together. Its strange to think that just last night you could barely look at each other and now here you were horsing around walking through the front door. You look over and she isn’t there. She must be off tonight.

Sam and Jake are already seated at the table, giving you both strange looks when they see you both on such friendly terms.

As you sit down, you break the ice. “Oof. I am ready for a cocktail. Who’s buying?”

After a minute of silence Sam is the first to give in. “Alright fine…” he jokingly stomps away to the bar to grab the first round.

As he’s ordering the drinks you hear a bell, indicating someone new has entered the bar. She walks in and immediately your stomach is full of butterflies at the sight of her. You can tell she feels uneasy, not wanting to make eye contact with the table yet and walking faster than usual. When she finally approaches the table, you try to make her feel more comfortable.

“Ahhh, there she is. If you can’t be serving us, your company is the next best thing.” You say with a smile that she returns back.

I will live with being just friends for eternity if it means I get to continue to see that smile on your pretty face.

She takes the empty seat next to Daniel, placing a kiss on his cheek as he puts his arm around her bringing her in closer.

Like a lightning strike through your body the sadness hits you. You knew it wouldn’t be easy to see them together, but you weren’t expecting it so blatantly.

Sam returns with the round of drinks for everyone. “Alright you bastards,” he starts while handing everyone their drink of choice. Once everyone has something in hand he raises his up to the ceiling.

“To all of us getting along again, and to whatever fucked up things happened staying in the past. All that matters is that my brothers are happy.” He says making the toast. You all nod your heads and take a drink. Danny places a kiss on her forehead and you turn your head pretending not to notice but you do.

I’m not happy Sammy, cant you see that?

Fuck it, let’s get drunk.

Playing it off, you pat Daniel’s shoulder ensuring to him that there are no hard feelings. The only feeling you are really feeling right now is heartbroken.

You turn to Jake who has his eyes fixed on the door. You can sense his emotions shifting and notice Sammy become tense as well. You look over as the door is closing behind her.

Olivia? Holy shit…

“Well… to what do we owe this great pleasure?” Sam asks sarcastically as she approaches your table.

“C’mon Sammy, after all the years we’ve known each other THAT is how you greet me? I’m hurt.” she lets out a dry laugh and focuses her attention to Danny.

He is in shock, he has gone rigid and you can tell he is nervous.

This is not going to go well. Don’t fuck this up, Daniel.

HER POV

“Hi, I’m Olivia. I’m sure Daniel has told you all about me…” she reaches her hand to yours and shakes it dismissively.

Olivia? The Olivia?

“So what are you doing here?” Jake asks her in a very questioning tone.

“I’m in town for work, thought I might find you all here…did you miss me?” she asks, staring directly at Danny.

He doesn’t reply, he is still shocked. The entire table is obviously uncomfortable, unsure how to handle this conversation.

“Anyways, just thought it would be nice to…catch up… see what’s new, although I can see a few things are definitely….new.” she says pointedly.

You look to Josh, and he shakes his head staring directly at you, trying not to draw attention. Danny is rigid underneath you, a warmth rushing over his skin. He removes his arm from around you and folds his hands in his lap, the sudden panic growing in your chest is enough that you feel like you need to remove yourself from the situation for a moment and collect your thoughts.

“I’ll be right back.” You announce, Josh’s eyes never leaving yours. He can tell you’re anxious. Danny doesn’t even look at you as you walk to the bathroom.

As you walk into the bathroom you shut the door and lock it behind you breathing heavily as you lean over the sink. You look at yourself in the mirror.

He loves you. He wants you. Not her.

Why does it feel like you are trying to convince yourself?

You smooth out your hair, and fix your clothes trying to regain your composure. The last thing you want is for her to think you are intimidated.

You clear your throat and walk out of the bathroom, only to find that your seat has been taken.

What is going on?

Don’t make a scene. You know your place in Danny’s life. We just fixed things, we love each other.

You lock eyes with Josh and you see him bite his lip as he realizes your seat is now taken. He quickly grabs another and pulls it up next to him, nodding for you to sit.

As you reach the table you sit down next to Josh, and he leans over and whispers in your ear when no one is looking.

“You’re okay, just talk to me. She’ll leave eventually.” He says.

You nod your head and listen to him ramble. Danny’s eyes cut to you a few times. You can tell he is stressed out, but not enough to do anything about it. In fact, he hasn’t spoken a word to you since she walked in.

She doesn’t leave, she has made her self very comfortable within the group, reminiscing on old times and laughing. You are feeling really uncomfortable and Josh can definitely sense that, placing his hand on your back and trying to talk to you separately to not be a part of their conversation.

Your knee begins to bounce anxiously at the fact that Danny is allowing this to continue. All of this.

Shouldn’t he ask her to leave? Things with you two were still a little rocky to be in this kind of situation.

Then she starts her questioning.

“So Daniel, how long have you two been seeing each other?” She asks, almost sarcastically.

“A few weeks now…” he says looking at you with a small smile.

“How did you meet?” She asks.

“She is actually one of the bartenders here.” He answers.

Josh’s hand grips your shoulder, in silent support.

“Oh… I see.” She replies with a disgusted smirk.

I would like to smack that grin right off of your face, bitch.

Sam quickly changes the subject. “What about you, Olivia? Still chasing people around trying to find anyone desperate enough to have you do their social media?”

You smirk to yourself.

One point for Sammy.

“Actually, Samuel, I am working with a great team now. I run socials for a few bands. Really moved up since I worked with you guys.” She snaps.

Jake scoffs. “Well good for you.”

You can tell there is definite tension between her and the guys. She hasn’t even dared talk to Josh, let alone look his way.

As the conversation drifts else where you turn to Josh. “I think I’m gonna go, this is… weird.” You whisper.

“No, don’t go yet. Please…” He begs, “Lets go up to the bar and sit for a minute? One drink, then you can go?” He asks.

How could you say no to him? Especially after the day you put him through yesterday.

“Okay.”

“We are gonna go get another drink? Anyone want anything?” He asks, and before anyone can even open their mouths he says “No? No one? Sounds good!” And he ushers you off to the bar.

You both take a seat and you breathe out a deep sigh of relief.

“Fuck, that is really awkward… Danny hasn’t even spoken to me since she walked in.” You say, staring at your empty glass.

“Here’s the thing about Olivia…she… had this... hold over him for so long… I don’t know if she ever really got her claws out of him. He thought she was it for him. She broke his heart, was super hateful to all of us… it ended really badly. He was messed up for a while… I don’t know what has come over him tonight but its like she has got him back under her spell. I’m sure as soon as she leaves things will go back to normal. Don’t sweat it, sugar.” He says, patting your shoulder.

“But Josh, isn’t that kinda… fucked up?” You ask. “I mean… just last night he told me he was in love with me and now he is sitting, talking and engaging with his ex girlfriend? Right in front of me... as if I’m not there?”

“Oh it one hundred percent is…” he says before you cut him off.

“Bruce…. We need shots… please.” you ask practically begging.

“Two Fireballs, por favor.” You say.

He grabs two shot glasses and pours them up sliding them to you.

You clink your tiny shot glasses together and drink them down, hoping it will get rid of the anxiety in your chest.

“What is she doing here? What does she want?” You ask.

“She said she’s here for work, but… more importantly why did she come to this bar that she knows we would be at? She is here to cause trouble as usual. Without a doubt. ” He says.

You let out a deep sigh.

“I should have known. I couldn’t just have one uncomplicated thing in my life.” You say.

His hand grazes your back. “It doesn’t have to be complicated.” He says.

You know what he means. You know he could give you that. Deep down you know you have feelings for him, but they are nothing compared to what you feel for Danny.

“I know.” You mutter. You look over your shoulder to see Danny still talking to her.

“Okay, I think I’m going to go. I don’t want to be here anymore.” You say defeatedly.

“Can I walk you to your car?” He asks, sounding hopeful. You don’t deserve him...

“Sure, let’s go.” You say, grabbing your bag and heading for the door.

“Aren’t you going to go say bye to Daniel?” He nods his head in the direction of the table, your eyes travel and see Danny. Still next to her, hasn’t moved an inch.

“No.” You reply, pushing the front door open and stepping out into the cool air.

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