benefits of having a job: WOOO MONEY 🔥🙏🥇💥💥💰

bad parts of having job:

hey sorry we put your players in a time loop. yeah they can only win by learning, and they can only learn by playing. yeah grant o’brien is carboloading next to their podiums. yeah they know that x equals 8 so y must equal 6. no they can’t use the ladder. yeah now they’re doing the wenis. sorry. 

READ A BOOK ToDAY

This guy always takes his chocolate art to the next level!!... Omg!!

(Source)

Reblogging would be a great help, but don’t feel pressured to

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

"don't mass reblog/like :/" coward. fool. somebody just went through and liked and reblogged 64 things from my blog in the span of half an hour at most. and i've never felt more alive in my life

i hate to be that guy, but the idea that gender, sex, and sexuality are ontologically pure concepts that can be rigidly defined if we simply police our language enough (our english language, because of course) is—i cannot stress this enough—a total waste of time. you may as well spend your afternoons teaching a brick how to swim

"if you ship this thing it's because you're too naïve to understand that it's toxic and that you wouldn't like a relationship like this" actually it's because I see one of them as a mentos drop and the other as a bottle of coke zero and I want to watch the mess they'll be together

Made a chart for sorting fantheories

Brian David Gilbert becoming a regular cast member on Dropout has the energy of like. What if two shows you liked had a crossover episode and then one of the characters just stayed on the other show without warning or explanation. They just live here now and they’re not going home.

she allegoried on my cave til i [JOKE PENDING]

I’ve officially decided my favorite relationship trope is “at first I was perpetually bothered by your mere existence but somewhere along the way you became my best friend and oh yeah I’m also in love with you.” Nothing else matters.

I'm scared of a chimpanzee because I know it will kill me. I'm scared of an orangutan because I know it will teach me things about myself I wasn't willing to confront