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theendofevangelionnn · 2 months

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— Drunken Tears and Soft Confessions

;; ₍ # ₎ ⁀➷ Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Dionysus! Reader

─ you drink away the pain, hoping it will eventually fill the void. It never does.

cw ཿ⠀ friends to lovers (high key implied), self harm, alcohol abuse, depressive thoughts, hurt with comfort, angst to fluff, not proof read

ପ a/n ; requested! please read the cw! took a lot longer than I expected, sorry (＃＞＜)♡︎ The ending didn’t come out like I hoped (╥_╥) I hope you enjoy anyway !

The alcohol burns your throat bitterly, the taste just as awful. Normally, pouring yourself a glass would be in honor of celebration or simply a time to enjoy yourself—unfortunately, as of late these times have been different. Instead of laughing joyfully, tears slip past your eyes with each sip you take.

A dull, itching pain worsens as you mindlessly swish the liquid in the glass. Fresh bandages hide deep crimson cuts, results from practice you’ll say, but anyone with the patience to care enough would know better. A quiet sob leaves your lips as you pull your knees closer to your chest.

This torment nearly drives you mad. You drown yourself in liquor, praying it would fill this feeling of emptiness that plagues you each night. You try to cut away at the anxieties, the fear of wasting away into nothing. You try to pinpoint the source of your anguish. Perhaps it was the lack of the will to live, maybe it was the disappointment of never feeling like you’ve done quite enough—or maybe it was the yearning for acknowledgment from the only parent you had left.

You lean back against the wall, tossing back the rest of your drink—a burning distaste following after. It does so little to quell the depressing feeling. You felt pathetic. You stare blankly at the nearly empty bottle before you, your thoughts becoming louder—drowning out all other senses. You’re falling, back into a time you begged you could forget—back into memories you tried desperately to avoid.

Footsteps approach, but they don’t completely break you from your trance. You assume it’s one of your siblings checking on you like they always did. Perhaps, they came to snatch the bottle from you to stop you from sinking deeper into your despair.

“(Y/n)?” The oddly soft, concerned tone of voice pulls you back from your drunken stupor. You recognize her voice—how could you not? But for the sake of what little remains of your pride, you try to delude yourself into thinking it wasn’t. You probably misheard or maybe you’ve truly gone mad; hallucinating her as a form of comfort in such desperate times.

And when she doesn’t speak again, your delusion seems plausible. Your tense body relaxes a bit, and you begin to sink back into your drunken mind. That is until you see her hand gingerly grab the empty glass from your hand, placing it alongside the bottle of liquor. Her fingertips brief brush against yours as she does so and it’s then that you realize she was no figment of your imagination.

She takes a seat next to you, on your disheveled bed, mindful to keep a bit of distance out of concern for your comfort. Although, your comfort is very little as you become painfully aware of your own pitiful state. Your hair a mess, your body felt uncomfortably filthy—you wanted to crawl away into a deep, dark corner and never be found again. This embarrassment made your body language more tense and withdrawn, subconsciously moving a bit farther away to maintain more distance.

She frowns softly. You see her expression out of the corner of your eye and turn away. You’ve seen the same look far too often these days, it was the same one your siblings would give you every time they came to snatch the bottle from your hands. It was a look of concern, unsaid words that drove daggers in your heart. You want to ease their worries, you want to get better, but you can't find the strength within yourself.

A few moments of silence follows. She gently grabs your hand, but you’re quick to pull away. The shame of being seen in such a drunken state by her was too much to bear, “Clarisse, please—”

Your voice comes out weak, your pleading tone wraps around her heart tightly. When you quickly try to pull away, her hand wraps around your wrist firmly. The tight grip immediately makes you wince, a small hiss of pain slipping past your lips. Clarisse loosens her grip with a look of confusion on her face before looking down at your wrist.

She attempts to pull back your sleeve. You quickly reach out to stop her, your free hand grabbing her wrist, briefly stopping her movements. She looks at you, your eyes meeting hers for the first time since she’s walked in. Neither of you speak, but within the same breath, neither of you look away.

You can almost hear your heart beating loudly through the silence, your thoughts in shambles trying to figure out what exactly is she thinking about. Her perception of you is ruined—your mind is convinced—there is no forgetting something like this. The urge to cry is slowly crawling up your throat as her eyes finally break away from yours.

Your hold around her wrists has loosen greatly, she slowly pulls back your sleeve, careful not to hurt you like she did before. She turns your wrist over, seeing the fresh blood that stained the white bandages. She doesn’t need to remove them to know what’s underneath.

“It’s nothing,” You mumbles softly, breaking through the silence as you watching Clarisse stare wordlessly at your bandaged wrists; your intoxicated judgement finds it best to play naive, feigning innocence in hopes to repair this uncomfortable tension in the air.

Clarisse sighs softly, her brows furrowed a bit in irritation, but she remains mindful of her tone. She looks back at you, clearly not buying your words. Her voice is soft, yet firm as she speaks, “Bullshit.”

You roll your eyes, letting go of Clarisse’s wrist before trying to snatch back your own, “I’m fine, it’ll practically be healed by tomorrow.”

A lie. And you both know it. Clarisse allows you to snatch your wrist back, watching quietly for a moment as you gently rub it in a poor attempt to soothe the pain. Clarisse’s quietness breaks your attention away from your wrist, glancing towards her in confusion. You had expected her to say something, anything by now—perhaps even a small petty insult.

She doesn’t. Instead, she stares at you, patiently waiting for you to admit that your anything, but okay. You click your tongue in annoyance before mumbling a few curses under your breath. You realized it was pointless to keep up this act with Clarisse, knowing she could see right through your lies.

“I’ll be fine, this is just…a small setback,” You said perhaps a bit too lightly as you see Clarisse grow a bit more irritated at your poor attempt to lighten the mood. You force a small sheepish smile in hopes to ease the tension a bit. It doesn’t.

“A small setback? Is that really what you want to call this?” Clarisse retorts, a little harsher than she intended. Her eyes don't break away from you once, noticing every little change in your movements. Your gaze becomes much more avoidant, your hands fidgety, and your body language tenses—she realizes she’s coming off too harsh.

Another sigh leaves her lips and she looks away from you. You fall silent, feeling more awkward than anything at the moment. Clarisse isn’t sure of the right thing to say or do, she’s never been good when it comes to emotions or being vulnerable. She’s the daughter of Ares after all.

“You should speak to your father,” Clarisse advises, running a hand through her hair as she looks back at you. She can’t help, but glance between you and the self-inflicted wounds on your wrist. The soft look of concern and—perhaps even—sympathy.

You scoff, a bitter chuckle leaving your lips at Clarisse’s words. In all truth, you would rather be burned at the stake than to speak to him about this. There wasn’t a cell in your body that believed he would even care enough to pretend to listen, “Like hell I will.”

Clarisse finds herself getting annoyed at your dismissive tone, quickly becoming defensive like she normally does, “Well, it’s better than nothing.”

“Look—I appreciate the concern, but I’m fine,” your words sound far from grateful, completely falling short of how you truly felt. You become a bit harsher in return, building your walls higher as you wish for this whole conversation to be done with. You look down at your hands, biting back tears—not wanting to look any more pathetic than you already felt.

Clarisse falls quiet. She knows she’ll fail at words if she tries to speak and she doesn’t know what other words of advice to give. But still, she wants to comfort you, hating the fact that she’s been too ignorant towards your state for this long.

Hesitantly, Clarisse gently grabs your wrist, pulling you closer. You looked up at her confused, you had a feeling of what Clarisse was attempting to do, but you struggled to fully believe it. She watches you carefully for any sign of resistance or discomfort, you remain placid and she continues to pull you closer.

She hugs you close, wrapping her arms around you firmly. Your whole body tenses, you bite your lip harshly to silence the sobs clawing at your throat. The taste of iron is bitter on your tongue as you struggle to hold back your tears. Your drunken state only makes your emotions feel stronger.

“It’s okay,” Clarisse whispers softly, her voice oddly tender and endearing. Her touch is gentle and comforting, her body is warm as you listen to her steady heartbeat. She holds you tight enough as if afraid it might be the last—and yet her touch remains cautious as if you were the most precious thing she has ever loved, “I’ve got you.”

Her words break you. Your walls crumble completely as you begin to sob heavily. You grab onto her tightly as you cry into her shoulder. She quietly lets you, listening as your tears break through the silence. Her heart aches when she hears you try to mumble indistinguishable words through your broken sobs. Your pained filled rant simmers down into apologies, guilt washing over you in waves.

Clarisse remains quiet, her hand rests gently on the back of your neck—while the other rubs soothing motions on your back. Your cries begin to soften after a while, fatigue slowly creeps through your body. Your breathing heavy from the once harsh sobs that tore through you. Your voice was hoarse as you tried to weakly mumble one last apology.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing, pretty girl,” a small, sad smile slips onto Clarisse’s lips, she gingerly kisses away your tears. Your heart flutters softly at the endearing act, a soft chuckle slips past her lips and you swear your heart nearly skipped a beat, “It’s okay, I’ve gotcha.”

You smile softly, too tired to give a response in turn. A few quiet moments pass, your eyes feel a bit heavier and your breathing becomes a bit more relaxed. Clarisse doesn’t mind, shifting into a more comfortable position for you. You grumble softly, causing Clarisse to roll her eyes a bit before placing one last kiss on your forehead.

Clarisse leans her head back against the wall, sighing deeply. She feels your soft breath brushing against her skin, feelings she’s tried to keep buried crawl up to the surface. The words slip past her lips without her notice, a soft confession barely above a whisper. It wasn’t until she felt you smile against her skin that she realized you felt the same.

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theendofevangelionnn · 3 months

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➜ GARDENS OF BABYLON

summary: clarisse la rue x daughter of apollo reader. reader hates clarisse until she doesn't hehe. reader is a little bit of a bitch sorry!! just a bit tho! ooc clarisse maybe? and no smut ofc :) just sweet girls in love mwah

warning: reader dates a man but there's not a lot of details about that, bad writing sorry:/

word count: 5k (im so sorry i got carried away)

Help Palestine 🇵🇸!

It could be love, we could be the way forward and I know I'll pay for it

You weren't sure about many things in your life, but one think that you were pretty sure about, was the that you and Clarisse had nothing in common.

She was rude and mean. She didn't hesitate when it came to hurting people. She was cold. She was exactly what you expect an Ares child to be like. So you tried to keep your distance as much as possible.

It was hard, though. The first time you went to camp, you were twelve, extremely scared and insecure, and she did not help your case, at all. You still remembered, how rude she was to you on your first week, how upset she made you and how she made fun of you for crying afterwards. You still remembered watching as the smile appeared on her face the second she saw the tears in your eyes. You could never forget that look. And you could definitely never forgive her, either.

After that, you had very small interactions, you got claimed after two months, which was good enough for you. You made friends, you grew up and gained confidence in yourself and in your abilities. And that whole incident with Clarisse just became a distant memory. But she was still always around. And you were always trying to pretend like she wasn't.

But your whole opinion on her was about to change, and it all started one night, at the bonfire.

At the time you were dating a guy, Jacob, and you liked Jason, you really did, he was nice – most of the time, he was funny– sometimes, he liked to spend time with you, and you never heard anything bad about him. And you were having fun, he was entertaining you, which sounded wrong, and although, you could never admit it out loud, that's all that he was. Entertainment. So the moment he expressed his wish for more, for something a bit more serious, you called it off.

Reality was, you didn't want a relationship, you didn't need one. Your life was crazy as it is, you didn't need one more thing to be preoccupied about, you just wanted to have fun, that's all you needed at the moment. But he did not take that well. That guy you knew disappeared the moment you told him you wanted to stop seeing him.

And yes, maybe it was kind of bad that you decided to end things at the bonfire, with people around – people that could easily listen to your conversation and spread the gossip later. And sure, maybe you were a bit cold towards him, but he did not need to make a scene, a huge scandal. And that was exactly what he did.

You still remember the dirty looks people gave you afterwards, all the whispers, all the rumors surrounding you two. And it made you crazy, people knew nothing about the situation, but they still talked like they did.

And that's when Clarisse came in. You didn't know she was there that night, you didn't know she saw the whole thing.

You were practicing your favorite activity, archery. It made you feel calm, in the moment, and that's exactly what you needed. That was, until you heard a very familiar voice, speaking close to you, way too close.

"Hi pretty"

You could swear your heart stopped for a moment, you turned around fast, the bow and arrow in your hands quickly forgotten.

The moment you met her eyes, your stomach flipped, a weird and unusual feeling making its way to your chest. Her eyes were locked on yours, her body was close enough that you could feel her breath in your face, you could see the gold in her eyes due to the sun light. And it all just added to that uneasy feeling.

And you were still trying to process the fact that she called you pretty.

"Hello." your voice sounded weak, it made you curse yourself.

"Do you have a minute? Promise it'll be quick." Clarisse tilted her head a little, a small smile on her face.

You looked around, trying to understand what was going on. She had no good reason to talk to you, you weren't her friend, or anything, for that matter. Maybe it was one of those times when she just wanted to bully someone and you were the chosen one. That thought made you back away from her.

"No, I don't."

You turned around, putting your bow and arrow on their place and ready to go back to your cabin, far away from her.

"Oh come on, princess, why not?" You could still hear her as you walked away, hoping she would get the hint. "Aren't you a little curious to know what I wanna talk about?"

You felt her hand on your wrist, making you turn around, face to face with her again. "It's about your little boy Jacob, you know? The one who humiliated you in front of everyone?"

She still had that stupid smile on her face, making you roll your eyes. "And what does whatever you want have to do with me? We are not together anymore, and I don't want anything to do with you. Or him!" you were about to leave when you heard her again.

"I want revenge. Are you sure you're not interested?" you turned around slowly, studying her face. "That little shithead hurt one of my sisters, and I haven't put anyone in their place in a while."

That last part made your heart skip a beat, you knew exactly what she meant, you were one of those people once. But different to Jason, you were just a kid, you didn't deserve what she did to you.

"No, I'm not. Have fun terrorizing him though, you always do anyway."

For the third time, you walked away from her, and much for your disappointment, she let you go.

•┈୨♡୧┈•

"Did you do anything stupid lately?"

You lifted your eyes from your food and looked at your friend in front of you, laughing a little at her question. "What?"

"Like, I don't know, did you do something that I need to know about?" the confusion in your eyes made her look behind you, making you turn your head to look as well. Clarisse was staring at you, a weird expression on her face. "She won't stop staring, please tell me you didn't do something against her, that girl could easily kill–"

"Oh gods, I didn't do anything!" You couldn't help but laugh again, turning back to Anya. "She's just probably upset I turned down an offer she made a few days ago."

"What offer? Why don't I ever know about anything?!"

"It's nothing important really, she wants to do something to Jacob, I don't know what, I just know he hurt her sister and I think she wanted my help to 'put him in his place'? Her words not mine."

"Wow, that's weird. And you just simply said no? Just like that?"

"I mean yeah, I don't want him to hate me even more than he already does."

"Makes sense."

You two went back to being silent for a second, before Anya spoke again. "You know, maybe she wanted to get close to you, or something, I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, why would she ask your help on something she could easily do it on her own? I mean, it's a bit weird, right? Maybe she wanted to get to know you."

"I doubt that."

You tried not to think much about it, and pretend that you didn't like the idea of Clarisse wanting to be close to you. But as you closed your eyes that night, ready to go to sleep, the only thing you could think about was pretty brown eyes, with a little bit of gold in them.

•┈୨♡୧┈•

Two days later, as you were walking to practice you saw Jacob, he didn't see you, he was talking to his friend, something you couldn't really hear, but what really caught your attention, was when he lifted up his shirt, his stomach was dark purple, bruises all over it. And you didn't have to think twice to figure out who did that.

And you didn't know why, you just needed to see her, you needed to ask her so many questions, so that's exactly what you did.

You knocked on her cabin door, that heavy and weird feeling on your chest again, waiting for someone to answer. One of her brothers opened the door, looking you up and down. "Can I help you?"

"Yes, is Clarisse here?"

He nodded, but not to say that she was in fact there, he nodded like he knew exactly what you meant.

"Yeah, sure." he left the door open and started to leave the cabin, not before saying with a weird laugh: "Have fun!"

You looked at him confused, having no idea why would he even say that to you, but you decided to not think much about and just go in.

She was sitting on her bed, palm resting on one of her thighs, black nail polish in her other hand. She was painting her nails, and for some reason, that surprise you.

Sure, you've seen her wearing nail polish before, but the look on her face was a rare one, she looked so concentrated, almost peaceful, and you couldn't help but think she looked pretty like that, her curls framing her face.

"Who was it?" she didn't look up from her nails when she said that, probably thinking you were her brother.

"It was me."

You could see the smile on her face before she look up, her eyes shining when she saw you. "Hi pretty."

Ignore the nickname. Ignore the nickname.

"What did you do to him?"

"Sorry?" she got up, walking towards you now, her eyes were dark, the peaceful Clarisse you just saw disappearing.

"I saw his bruises, that was you, wasn't it?"

You didn't know why you were so mad at her, you didn't even like him, you couldn't care less about him if you were being honest, but the need to confront her about it seemed to be more strong than being reasonable.

She tilted her head, a smirk on her face.

"What if it was? Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes, I do, actually, you shouldn't go around just beating people up."

"Oh really? Why not? He hurt someone I care about, he deserved it."

She didn't sound mad at you, she sounded amused, like she liked the fact that you were talking back.

In reality, she just liked that you were there, in her cabin, so close to her, your eyes locked on hers like you were scared that if you looked anywhere else, she might disappear. But you didn't need to know that.

"Like you care about anyone who isn't yourself, you did that just for fun. Because that's what you do!"

"And why are you so mad about that anyway, hm? You said you didn't wanna have anything to do with it, remember?" she took one more step closer to you, your faces inches apart, you felt her hand on your arm. "Do you still like him or something? Because if I remember correctly, you broke his heart, right? So why do you care so much?"

You didn't know what to say, she was right. And that pissed you off even more.

"I just- I–" You could see her smile growing at your loss of words, her hand on your arm making you even more nervous. "Fuck you, Clarisse."

The feeling in your chest got too strong, you realized how close she was to you, her pretty smile on her face. However her eyes were not on yours anymore, she was looking at your lips, breathing heavy.

Then her eyes met yours again. "Why are you here, y/n?"

"You know why." you stepped back a little, but before you could say anything else you felt her lips on yours.

And you didn't think twice before kissing her back. Her lips were soft, her hands were on your face, and yours made their way to her hips. She smiled during the kiss, making your head spin even more.

"No, wait– that's not what I came for!" you finally came to your senses again, breathing even heavier now. "I don't even like you! I could never like you! You're so... you're awful, you're an awful person!"

Before she could say something, you stormed out of her cabin. And she just stood there, not believing what had just happened.

•┈୨♡୧┈•

A few days since that afternoon had passed and you still couldn't believe that happened. She just kissed you, out of the blue, for no reason at all.

You could still feel her soft lips on yours, her hands on your face, and your heart beating fast against your chest.

But the worst part of it all, is that you liked it, and you couldn't deny it anymore. You couldn't deny your stupid crush on Clarisse. You couldn't deny that's the reason why you got so upset when she mistreated you years ago, that was the reason why you couldn't think straight when it came to her.

Yes she was mean, and a bully – most of the time, she was stubborn and impulsive, but unfortunately for you – and your stupid dumb heart, that didn't make much of a difference. You tried to convince yourself that you hated her for so many years, and yet here you are.

When reality sinked in, you felt panic, because she was the last person you wanted to have feelings for, she was the last person you'd give a chance. So you decided that you were going to repress those feelings, it didn't matter if it hurt you, you would never open your heart to her. You just couldn't.

But apparently the universe had other plans, because while you were at the beach, enjoying the sun, lost in thought, she saw you. Lucky for her, bad luck for you.

You heard her say your name, and before you could run away from her, she sat down beside you, making it impossible for you to look away.

"Where have you been? You just disappeared! Are you avoiding me or something?"

Her voice was soft, you never heard her speaking like this, almost like she was afraid you'd run away if she wasn't careful with her words.

Your stomach felt weird, your heart was beating fast again, and your hands were shaking. All because she noticed. She noticed that you were avoiding her. And for some weird reason, that made you feel special.

"Yeah, well, how did you find me?"

"I threatened one of your friends to tell me where you were." she said that like it was the most obvious think in the world, like you were dumb to even be asking her that question. "I just– I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

You looked up from the sand, surprise evident in your face, did she just apologize to you?

"You're sorry?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'm really bad at this, I just wanted to say that, I'm sorry if I offended you by kissing you, I should've asked first, I just– I felt– I mean, I thought I felt something there but it was just all in my head and I didn't mean to–

You lost your mind, you were sure of it, because now, you were the one kissing her.

One of your hands went to the back of her neck, making her relax under your touch. Her lips moved with yours in the perfect rhythm, like it was meant to be, like you were made to do this, with her.

Her hands were on your back, bringing you closer and closer to her, as if that was possible, and you only stopped kissing when you felt the need for air. Her forehead touched yours, both of you breathing heavy.

"I thought you– I'm... confused." She leaned away a little, still holding you.

In that moment, you didn't know what to say, cause you were as confused as she was. You didn't know why you kissed her, you promised yourself you would stay away, and yet your lips were on hers the moment she got close too you.

"You said you didn't like me." her voice was still soft, but now, a little more serious, her eyes studying your face. "You said you could never like me, did I understand that wrong or what?"

You shook your head, you felt suffocated now that she was so close, asking you questions, making you rethink your terrible decisions and complicated feelings.

"You didn't understand that wrong, that's– yeah, I said that."

Your hand wasn't on her face anymore, and you were getting up. Why did she have to make you feel like this?

"Hey, you're not running away this time! Talk to me." She got up too, getting close to you again.

Her eyes felt like they were burning holes in your skin, making you avoid them. And before you could speak for yourself, try and explain, your anxiety spoke for you.

"What do you want from me, Clarisse? It was just a kiss, does a kiss have to mean anything? I wanted to kiss you, so I did, big fucking deal!"

When you got the courage to look at her again, you couldn't see the soft Clarisse anymore. She nodded her head, looking away from you, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

"You wanted to kiss me, so you did, hm?"

Her voice was cold and her eyes even colder. You nodded your head, if that would help you stay away from her, then you were going to run with it.

She didn't say anything back, she just turned around and left you alone. Not knowing that if she stayed just one more second, she would see the tears streaming down your face.

•┈୨♡୧┈•

You felt horrible, actually, if there was a stronger word for what you were feeling you'd use it, but no amount of words could really describe how you felt.

The guilt was eating you, and you couldn't stop crying, you didn't even know why you were crying in the first place; maybe it was because you realized that you actually had feelings for Clarisse, maybe it was because you were mean to her just because you were scared, or maybe you were just overwhelmed. Either way, the tears wouldn't stop scrolling.

And you did the only thing you knew would help you, you talked to your friend.

"Wait, walk me through it again... you have feelings for who?"

"Please don't make me repeat it!" your hands went to your face, too embarrassed to even think about it.

Anya let out a laugh before she grabbed your wrists, making you look at her again.

"I'm sorry! I just thought you hated her?"

"I guess the hate was just a cover up, I actually do like her a lot. Unfortunately."

"You don't think she likes you back?"

You thought about it for a moment.

You were sure she did, you were sure she liked you back, and was what made it all so scary to you. The fact that you both liked each other, the fact that she could easily hurt you, just like she did years ago, just with a few words. The fact that you could hurt her, just like you did, earlier that day.

With Jacob, it was easy, he liked you, you didn't like him. The moment you got bored and he wanted more, you ended it, and you felt bad, but you also felt safe. You were safe that way, he couldn't hurt your feelings even he tried. That was easy.

With Clarisse,wouldn't be that way, she would know exactly what to do to make you feel pain. If you let her in, she would know just what buttons to push, and that scared you more than anything.

"I just think... I just think it would hurt too much."

Anya gave you a sympathetic look, a small smile on her face. "But if you really like her, don't you think is worth it? Don't you think she's worth it?"

Once again you went to sleep thinking about her. Your mind asking you again and again, is she worth it?

•┈୨♡୧┈•

You felt low in your life a few times.

First, was when your fish died, you were only six and as weird as it sounds, it was your best friend at the time. Second time, was when your grandmother died, when you were eight, she was basically your second mom, and seeing her sick and unable to do anything about it killed you to the core. And the third time was when you found out you had to live your life behind and go to camp, when you found out that you actually had a dad, an unusual one, but you did, and you had to get used to your new life.

And now, it was definitely one of those low points.

You could feel your heart break the moment you saw them together, Clarisse and some girl that you didn't know the name. They were sitting together on the steps of the Ares cabin, Clarisse was touching the other girl's leg, whispering in her ear and making her laugh. You felt sick.

You stopped walking, unable to breathe or to move, staring at them like your life depended on it.

"Oh gods." You could hear Anya say on your right. "Maybe we should go the other way."

Before they could see you, you started walking again, feeling anger and disgust after seeing that. But then it hit you.

You told her the kiss didn't mean anything. You said you didn't like her. You told her you could never like her. You made her believe you didn't feel anything. You had no right to be angry, you had no right to be upset. You just needed to accept that she was moving on, and maybe you should try doing the same.

•┈୨♡୧┈•

A few days later capture the flag happened, as usual the blue team won, which was good, it made you forget about Clarisse for at least a few hours.

But afterwards, at the bonfire, you saw her again, with that same girl. And she looked so beautiful, it was hard to be mad at her. Her hair was down as usual, and she had a black t-shirt on, and it was so tight that made you forget how to breathe for a second.

"Tough, huh?"

You looked to your left, seeing one of her brothers standing next to you, the same one you saw the day you went to their cabin, he was looking at Clarisse as well, his face expression hard to read.

"What do you mean?"

"Seeing her with someone else."

He answered that like it was obvious, looking over at you.

That made your head spin, did she talk about you to her siblings?

"What?! No! We weren't– we never–"

"No, I get it!" he interrupted you, your rambling annoying him. "I was just betting that you would be the one."

"Wait, what?"

This whole situation was giving you a headache.

"Well, you know, in between you and her, I thought you would win, Clarisse was never really fond of her, you know?"

You blinked at him a few times, letting his words sink in. Gathering up courage to ask what was on your mind.

"You think we could work? I mean, we don't even get along." it was supposed to sound nonchalant, like you didn't mean anything by asking that, but unfortunately, he read right through you.

"Yeah, I think you could work. I wouldn't give up on it so easy if I were you."

Before you could ask him anything else, he started to leave but not before saying: "And don't worry, I won't tell her that we had this conversation."

•┈୨♡୧┈•

You could swear you never felt more nervous in your life than at that moment, you were at the door of the Ares cabin, feeling anxiety wash over you. Trying not to shake too much because of the cake in your hand.

And before you could overthink what you were doing, you knocked on the door, taking a deep breath and smoothing your shirt.

She opened the door, her eyes were as cold as you expected, she was staring at you, and then the little box you were holding, and then at you face again.

"Hi." You tried to sound normal. "Can we talk?"

She tilted her head a little to the side, a smile on her face. "I don't think so."

Why did you think it was gonna be easy?

She went to close the door, but before she could, you held it open, getting closer to her.

"Clarisse, please? I really wanna talk."

"Well, I really don't care."

But she didn't move, she didn't back away from you or tried closing the door again, she just stood there, hand on the door knob.

"I have cake!" she looked a little confused, looking at the small box you were holding again. "Orange cake, it's delicious. It's... for you."

You sounded out of breath, like you just ran a marathon.

She sighed and turned around, leaving the door open for you.

"Everybody, get out!"

Without saying anything, her siblings left, some of them giving you a glare, but most left without even looking at you.

Clarisse looked over at your direction again and gesture for you to get in.

"Nice bow."

When you turned around to look at her, she was leaning on the door, like she was ready to kick you out at any minute.

"Thank you." You said touching the bow in your hair, trying not to smile at the fact she complimented you.

She stared at you for a few seconds and rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here? Because if you're just going to stand there–"

"I came to apologize." You took one step closer to her, feeling a little bit more confident. "The way I treated you at the beach... that was horrible, I'm so sorry. You don't need to forgive me or anything but I just– I just wanted to say that I like you. And I didn't want to admit that, because, it's so scary, and you make me feel like I'm gonna die sometimes because of how fast my heart beats when you're around."

"And I was so ready to just pretend I don't feel this way, but then I saw you with that girl and, I just can't do that. Giving us a chance might hurt me in the future but not having you right now hurts just the same, and I can't take it. And I know I'm a coward and–"

"Is that orange cake you said?"

"I'm sorry?" you looked at her like she just said the most offensive thing known to man. "That's it? That's what you took from all that? I'm opening my heart to you."

She took a few steps closer to you, an infuriating smile on her face. "Yeah, I heard that part, how did you even get this cake?"

"It was one of my sisters birthday yesterday and–, you know what, it doesn't matter, don't you think you have something to say to me?"

You were so annoyed, was she dismissing everything you just said?

"Oh, like what?"

"Like... like, you like me back maybe? Maybe an apology for being so horrible to me years ago? Maybe–"

"Gods, you talk so much."

And then she kissed you. But this time, it was different. She was kissing you like she was trying to tell you everything she couldn't put into words, hoping you'd understand.

Without stopping the kiss, she took the cake out of your hands, putting it on a table behind you. Her own grabbing your waist.

You touched the back of her neck, not wanting to let go of her, trying to make this moment last for was long as you could.

When she leaned away, she had a smile on her face, a genuine one.

"Did you mean everything you just said?"

You nodded, still holding her. "More than anything."

"I'm sorry I was mean to you." You were about to kiss her again but she pulled away. "And I like you too by the way, don't know if you were able to catch that."

You shook your head and laughed a little. "No, I got that part, but thanks."

"And also, I love orange cake."

You gave her a smile before leaning in to kiss her again.

•┈୨♡୧┈•

After that, you would spend most of your free time with Clarisse, you guys would go on long walks at night, she would help you practice whenever she got the chance and you would always end up in her cabin somehow.

"Oh gods! Just stop moving!"

You couldn't stop laughing, you guys were sitting on her bed, her hand on your thigh, while you were holding her tube of black nail polish, painting her nails.

"What? Can't I kiss my girlfriend?"

She wouldn't stop moving, trying to get close to you at all cost, holding your face with her free hand, making you look at her. She had a huge smile on her face, making you smile too.

"Am I your girlfriend?"

"Of course you are."

Her voice was so soft, and her hand on your face felt comforting. Making you want to melt into her.

"Okay then." you gave her a peck on the cheek. "Will you let your girlfriend finish painting your nails?"

She laughed and laid her head on your shoulder. "Yes ma'am."

A few seconds later, she heard your vocie again.

"Clarisse?"

"Yes?"

"I could spend the rest of my life with you like this."

She didn't answer you for a few seconds, watching her nails turn black, your delicate hands doing a way better job than she ever could.

She lifted her head from your shoulder, focusing on your concentrated face. A small smile on her lips.

"Yeah, me too."

Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon. With your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.

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