help me to love like You...

it's the chase, damn it!

she wanted the chase

that's when the curtain falls

and the real thing begins to unfold

Letter 012

23.0606 | Makati, PHL

Dear Ciel,

May you pursue God with such longing to come home. May you have Him in your heart as a constant reminder of what love trully means. May you thirst for His Word alone and strive to walk with Christ everyday.

Whenever a dark cloud looms over you, I pray for sunshine to breakthrough and reach you wherever you may be. May His light find you and provide you the warmth you need. At the same time, I hope you do not grow to hate the cold showers it brings. The rain maybe harsh, awfully cold, and even seem unfair. But dear child, flowers need rain too in order to bloom. Trees with beautiful green foliage earn nutrients from rain too.

If ever I may not be able to shelter you away from all the storms in your life, do know that I will always share your pain. If for some reason I cannot be by your side when the rain comes your way, as if the whole world is against you for things not going your way, I hope that your immediate response is to run to Him in prayer and worship. May you find comfort that He is with you through it all. That He will guide you to survive this rainstorm. Know that the weigh of rainwater cannot compare to the weigh of His love for you. Know that He has kept track of your grief and sorrow. He has kept all your tears and know each one of them.

May you choose to sing praises to Him instead. For God's love endures longer than the rainstorms you will encounter in this lifetime. Our God has already won the battle for us. He has allowed this dark cloud come your way knowing you can overcome it and grow from the challenges it shall bring before you. He shall continually carry you if You continue to seek for His grace and mercy. He chose you. He has made you. So confide in Him, dear child. Put your faith in Him once more. Choose to live on until He has called you to come home. For now, keep growing. Keep heart. And keep the faith. All is well in Jesus' name. Amen.

All the love,

M

Letter 011

 23.0227 | Makati, PHL

Dear Ciel,

May you find comfort in knowing someone has been there by your side all these years. Someone who has had your back, rooting for you always. Someone who would encourage you to take calculated risks but would be the first one to tell you No and Stop when you need telling. Someone who would let you make your own mistakes to allow you to outgrow your own stubbornness, but would be the first one who would open their arms wide when you need to cry. I pray that you will not grow complacent just for having that person in your life, but may you learn to cherish every second being with them. May you learn to understand trust until you can finally practice it.

All the love,

M

Letter 010

 23.0103 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

Let me tell you a story of a magnificent woman this world ought to learn from.

Born as the eldest of 12 siblings. She lived her childhood days with a silver-spoon. Their house was built beside the bay, with a back balcony stairs that will give your feet the soft warmth of the sand as you view the glistening horizon in front of you. She grew up full of grace, as her mom taught her everything there is to know for a proper lady especially as the eldest. Naturally, her siblings adored her, relied on her, for her warmth that radiates just as the sun grows on you even if it blinds you. However, she likely adored her father as she followed his shadow even as she grew up as a lady working for her father's company as a treasurer.

One day, at church, her eyes met with a lad her age. He had this soft curls that she thought almost contrast his sharp look and stern persona. He wasn't friendly entirely, he appears as someone who'd start a fight just because. But, those curls, and how his smile seemed more gentle than the dew drops after a summer rain, something about these characteristics of his gave just enough charm for her to be captivated so much so she sought to remember his name.

The next time they saw each other, was on a lazy afternoon, when the sisters coaxed her into dipping into the ocean for a change of scenery from all her house-lessons. She rarely went out, so her skin gave the palest porcelain glow in contrast from her full velvet blue swimsuit. And there he was once again, the times they both stole shy glances from one another, she could not count but the memory has burned at the back of her mind.

When a time came he visited her at her home, they have long been acquainted with each other that even her youngest sister felt almost close as family to him as well to be lingering around where the two would stay and talk. At some point, the young lad thought the little one had slipped away, he took the chance to kiss the eldest on her cheek. But even before the lady could react, the youngest started announcing to the whole family household what had happened, "he kissed her! He kissed manay!", running around like a siren, shouting the sweetest tease.

Well, my dear, Ciel. In those days, the tradition follows an almost ridiculous belief about a kiss even if it was an accident or a joke. And they followed that, they went ahead and got married. But you see, their fairytale had its twists and turns. There's a reason why I haven't written it down. I wanted to be as accurate as I can, with no other distractions pending to derail me. Like now.

I would love to tell you more about them. One night, Sky mentioned how he grew up with his parents reading him bedtime stories. I wondered why it wasn't like that in my household, and partially I blamed how my parents were never exactly there to have the time to read.

Then, I remembered. Although that's the case, growing up with Ma and Pa, they didn't read us bedtime stories either. Considering the number of blackouts, whenever the kerosene lamps where lit up, my siblings and I would start fixing up the mosquito nets on our beds, one twin-size beside another queen-size bed. The five of us would fit there, from left to right, it would be Ate Khy, Papa, me, Mama, and Toto. Oh, the sixth one would be Potchi slowly circling until she settles in a curled bun beside my feet away from Mama so she won't be let out of the bed. When we're complete, that's when the stories begin.

Our topics would be... From the adventures Papa had at the sea, or about the new project around the house. In Mama's case, she loved telling stories about Mommy when she was our age. If not, it would be their love story, how they met, found love, and stayed in love. Or stories of other family relatives, her siblings or Papa's siblings. Our version of bedtime stories were never about dragons or princesses. They were filled with real-life passion, growth, reverence, faith. I guess, there'd be moments Papa would tell us about ghostly-encounters or he'd share one of his favorite daily quips. But most of their stories breathed air, ran blood; theirs had a heart.

That's what I am hoping to pass on to you, dear child. Just as Mama had lost no second to remind us of ––– our beating hearts, and its capability to love and feel everything. And as powerful as a heartbeat, as resilient as hers, and as gentle as her kind of warmth. May you choose to love despite. Never because, or out of pity even. May you recognize love when you've laid eyes on them. Let's both not let the frost devour our hearts to surrender and be preserved for eternity's liberty to decay. 

Allow your heart to break for what breaks His. It's the only kind of pain that will teach you to be humble in a certain way so you'd understand better. There is a certain grace in feeling pain, dear child. We feel not to let it consume us, nor to delude ourselves that eventually the feeling will change on its own. My child, I'm sorry it doesn't work that way.

Just as what I told Sky, eventually, we will all need to mourn and grieve our loss. Not so we can wallow in our own regrets. Not to search for a way to forget. There's a reason why others call it a day of remembrance. We try to remember how they lived amongst us. We share the laughter, the pieces of warmth they left behind. I wish we lived in that culture. I think I understand why Sky prefers the living to celebrate instead of grieving. Like welcoming of a birth of a child. But for me, I couldn't agree that death meant I have to say goodbye. In a way, I find it difficult to find an ounce of energy to celebrate parting. 

I pray, as much as my heart remembers, as my mind slips a clip or two, images of our memories inside that house... I pray He'd let me pass it on to you as you create an image of your own. May you carry a piece of her light with you, dearest Ciel. As for me, I'll try to retrace her footsteps as much as I can. Her steps that kept leading back to him, and through time to Him. I will try to listen to her advice. I will not let it turn to stone, not again. I will continue walking with Him until He leads me to him if that is indeed His will, just as she had long placed her faith on. Their love will continue to live on through me, as I live and breathe.

May you learn love like the one this blessed couple built and cherished together, Ciel.

Yours truly,

M

Letter 009

  22.0724 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

When it comes to waiting, being frustrated is a common reaction. Often, we tend to get lost in the idea of having to wait and never arriving anywhere. There are times we'd rather not wait at all if the choice is ours or at some point we'd make it a choice just to get ourselves out of it - deny the circumstance, and skip the process altogether, with the assumption that the end goal would always be in our favor. Only to let ourselves be deluded that we always have the upperhand in compromising. However, time and time again, life will teach you otherwise. For I tell you, no one can say they are prepared to handle all that life throws at them. We can only choose to prepare with what's within our reach and make the most of them when the time comes.

With that said, may you choose to let your season of waiting be your season of preparation. Choose this moment to leave frustration outside the door and invite inspiration to come over instead. Let inspiration fuel your spark. Use that energy you have for anger on abstract reasons to what you can do at the moment instead.

In the season of waiting, you'll be bombarded with frustration callously ranting on the... When instead, you can choose inspiration to maximize your personal time.

Enough preparation will cost you to be willing to allot time. 

Yours truly,

M

Letter 008

 21.1114 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

When you lose someone dear to your heart, may you choose to live on carrying the story of their lives in your mighty heart. Keep talking about them, more often, do so with a smile. Continue dropping seeds of testimonies as you go on your way. One day, you'll realize how your version will connect with another stranger who will become your common person.

Eventually, you'll have more people to keep their memories alive.

The gap you thought the one you lost took with them, suddenly becomes a cultured plot for a fruit bearing tree with great foliage branching out freely dancing towards the skies reaching the one you miss.

Dear child, carry this message with you and don't lose heart. May you live collecting stories from the good souls He has surrounded you with. Live on, and be a living testimony not just for one soul or another but ultimately –– to testify your Father's undying Love.

Yours truly,

M

Letter 007

 21.0521 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

One day, let me teach you one of the most treasured lessons I developed from your great-grandfather. You may have heard something like this before, "there's nothing scotch tape and a pair of scissors can't fix", in your grand-grandfather's case he opted going for super glue. However, for me, it's usually either the latter or I'd stitch it up even though my hemming skill still lacks elegance at this point.

Dear child, may you learn to outgrow our innate reliance on tears to feel better after witnessing first-hand how the world can pin you down after breaking something of great value to you. As a matter of fact, I hope you can develop an active response even if that particular item may seem discounted. Whether it's an item you have or something other's possess, may you learn to appreciate and revel in the wisdom and discipline behind patching up. This can be related to the Japanese philosophy called The Art of Kintsugi or 'kinstukuroi' which suggests to embrace broken pieces and relish in its new found identity as it shines with the gold filled into its scars. In Barbie terms,use this unprecedented predicament to "sparkle!".

So the next time you find a broken item instead of feeling down, may your eyes glisten with beautiful and exciting ideas on how to put it back together and maybe make it appear even better than it was before. It may seem like a tedious job at first, but once you get the hang of it I believe you will make incredible projects that soon enough you'll have an entire collection of your version of Kinstugi Art you're proud to put on display. Know that I'll be with you to support you through your journey always.

All my love,

M

Letter 006

 21.0413 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

Life has its way of forcing you to draw a black curtain around you. Though I wish you may not allow yourself to succumb into the pressure of it all, there will come a time when you shall choose to do so out of the very emotions you may have carefully hidden out of sight. Emotions, no matter how hard you keep them at bay, will eventually ooze their way up the surface until they become relentlessly visible for everyone to see.

Dearest child, do not be afraid because the emotions you despise are markers for what is actually happening inside of you. As dark as they may seem, as hideous or unbecoming if you will, they all manifest particular wounds you had long chosen to deny healing from.

Within this curtain, you must let yourself become aware of them before they even let themselves out. May you choose to acknowledge your own wounds and let them heal in their own time. If so you were late in noticing them, even if the hecklers point their fingers at you, may you choose to not listen with your ears but through your heart. Once they are out, you gain a bit of light upon knowing its root; and if you choose to uproot, do so with planting a grateful seed in mind. If you choose to make use of your black curtain this way, you will become more and more familiar with the darkness and no longer get lost in finding your way out – this is my wish for you.

Even within the hollowness of a well, you hold the light within you so you may recognize the stairs He had readily built; even before you fell, before you jumped, or before you recognized how you got there in the first place, God has prepared your way upwards. Choose to be brave, dear light.

All my love,

M

Letter 005

 21.0127 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

Beauty is a visual expression. Beautify yourself not for the onlookers, but because you know your value which God himself sees in you when He created you. Even before you were born, or the graceful day I held your hand, you my dear already have incomparable beauty from both within and outside. Such beauty that only you will have but beauty nevertheless that you shall grace the whole world with.

Dear child, may you take good care of your own gift of beauty as God treasures you. May you learn to understand the uniqueness of every line that makes you who you are, at the same time open your heart to see the comparison with God's other creations. But take note of the difference between comparing to judge and comparing to praise, because the former feeds insecurity while the other flows with gratitude. Do not overlook the intricate flaws that is yours to love, just as other children of God who continually seek growth and respond with praises from their shortcomings and differences. I yearn to witness it myself, dear one. May God allow me to live long enough to witness you grow.

All my love,

M

Letter 004

21.0121 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

Lovely child, when you are old enough, let me tell you about the gracious adventure that cooking brings upon its curious voyagers. May you get to savour the sweet and spicy experiments as you learn your way out of the salty ones and maybe learn to enjoy the bitter ones as I did (but I won't deny that it took a long while before I craved it; you can also take your own pace, don't worry).

Lovely child, the sequence might be frustrating to remember at first but I hope you won't grow tired trying until you familiarize the ways around islands and countertops. Eventually, no doubt you'll figure out your own sequence you're comfortable with.

If you happen to read this letter, which I hope you will, when we do get the opportunity of cooking together as you grow up as one of the curious little future chefs, I hope I can remind you that cooking is one of the humbling acts of love - this, I pray we both learn to practice gratitude for every meal anyone has prepared for us and every meal we wish to prepare for others.

All my love,

M

Letter 003

 20.1027 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

While the years of being a little kid might be the delicate age I wish to be always by your side, the years you start asking questions I don't have answers to are the critical years I wish you'd allow me to be next to you. The moment you start becoming cautious of the world you live in, the ecosystem you join, or the species you encounter along the way, I pray that I'll be there to at least fill you in with survival tips you might need before you venture on your own. But dear one, the tricky part of life is that no one is given all the know-hows to say they are fully equipped to set foot in the jungle of reality. They say surviving comes naturally since every living thing is born first before they learned how to crawl. When you live, you learn – not the other way around. But even so, my child, if you do choose to learn your way through, may you not venture as a lone ranger. You may begin as one, but learn to welcome the company of others you meet by chance. The day you stop depending to wait for my answers, may it come not too soon, pray for that companion you've grown accustomed to as they become your accountability. As you find another mentor besides the ones close to home, listen with the intent of growth. Then again, experiences differ for each traveller since your adventure might not necessarily include the same environment and climate as theirs. So heed for advice you can apply to fit different scenarios. Prepare for common pitfalls, that in case of unprecedented cliffs may you learn how to build a bridge. Pay attention to the rivers and roads along the path you chose. There might not be visible signs to lead you but if you look carefully around you, you'll see that nature can provide you directions. You just have to remember to look for the constants. If you do feel as if a tikbalang might have been playing tricks on you and you lost track of your whereabouts, leave carvings on trees. Take time to leave a constant of your own, dear child. Keep praying for each step that will lead you to Him.

May you value the opportunity of growth in tribulations. Be diligent to reassess your situation every time you face danger. Look for the light in the darkness. Wounds become battle scars as reminders of your eventual victory; otherwise, for the inevitable loses, do not let yourself be beaten back by them for you will bear these wounds as you continue walking as a living testimony. Above all else, as you thrive on this earth may you bloom carrying the warmth of the sun with you that even the raging winds and downpours cannot steal from you.

All my love,

M

PS. The greatest overcomer lives in you.

Letter 002

 20.0929 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

Little one, may you grow up liking fairytales. May you learn to appreciate the idea of magic our hearts can ignite and know how strength is a matter of perspective and resilience. My love, should you know the difference of courage and cowardice: the coward knows the dangers against them, therefore chooses to withdraw for self-preservation; however, the courageous, despite knowing the odds are not in their favor, they proceed to engage in battle not to prove a point for themselves but rather to protect the ones they care for. Fight for your values, dear one, that your values are centered on putting others before you. Reflect goodness like Christ did, and goodness will sure to follow and protect you just as God promised.

Knowing where you should draw strength from, may you venture the world as an adventure you wish to take head on despite the uncertainties of the seas before you. Dear one, may you wander beyond the depths of the ocean whilst knowing the warmth of the sand waiting above you. May you encounter challenges and meet companions along the way. Make sure to treasure the company of a friend but if circumstances arise that you should part ways, may you learn that there are battles you need to face on your own and that in time, by God's will, you shall eventually meet those you've missed at an intersection.

There is a lesson or two in every fairytale written. Choose to exemplify the right ones and you will soon learn just how relevant they are in real life. But most of all, keep in heart that the life we have on earth can never equate to a happily-ever-after some authors may suggest. What we're after is not a dream-like life ending, instead, we are all after the promise of the One who holds the pen to our stories, the promise of life eternal if we use our free will for righteousness. And witnessing others do the same makes the journey worthwhile, especially if you get to experience it with the same companion throughout all those years. For now, take all the time you need to grow. You have just enough to make your own memories last a lifetime.

All my love,

M

Letter 001

20.0920 | Parañaque, PHL

Dear Ciel,

Hope on the day we meet I can welcome you into the world with such warmth and excitement. With the thought that it maybe scary out here but you need not to worry because I will always hold your hand until you tell me you can carry on on your own. But know that even then, I shall watch over you and will stay where you last left off to see me so you can immediately find me.

Never forget to carry His word wherever your feet will lead you, that way, you may always find your way back home.

I love you, dear child.

All my love,

M

[1] Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum

[2] Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum

[3] Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum Lorem ipsum

All those years, I've waited for this day

Those months of ransacking my brain looking back and forth on the steps I've already taken that don't really made a difference, I thought

Will it be any easier? This walk has been the taking for ages, where has it gotten me?

I even thought I made quite a bold move choosing to even take a step closer near the edges unperturbed by grass.

Has it make sense though?

Now that I am here. - but,

I have a problem knowing where is here.

Will you keep watching from afar?

Gizem Bozkurt on Instagram