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thecollegeyearsx-blog · 7 years

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so i messed up

i got 4 days into this then gave up

that’s a new record for me tho 4 days wow

it is now Day 4 of college for me and haha boy do i have stories to tell

1) I GOT LIKE THE FREAKING FLU AFTER TWO DAYS OF CLASSES (not really the flu *i don’t think* but i had/kinda still have sometimes a 102.6 fever that was on and off again all weekend long after day 3 of class

i still have a bad cough and i kinda lost my voice (but i think that’s cool so i’m not complaining about that)

let’s see what else happened?

some guy talked to me and the new friend i made on day 2 of orientation

she’s really nice and we ended up coincidentally wearing the same exact shirt on the first day of class so if that doesn’t mean we’re destined for a good friendship then idk what

our class took a walking trip downtown which was alright i guess ??

there’s this one person who must not be named who’s like not cute but for some reason i kinda think he is lmao

i kinda wanna transfer schools next year bc idk it’s not bad but i feel like it’s a downgrade from my high school? like my english teacher is nuts. she’s tryna tell us “smart is a student named mary” is a sentence and she wants us to write like that rather than the traditional way of writing but like bruh i’m not yoda ????

i won a raffle and got a free shirt tho andddd won a scavenger hunt that i really didn’t take part in and got a $10 panera gift card so that’s cool

my other friends at dif. schools kinda seem a bit unhappy so i guess i’m grateful that i’m somewhat happy? i think they just need time to transition bc living on campus is new for them. meanwhile i’m still just chilling in my same old room snugglin’ w my pups (lmao wtf idk why i’m like this)

i’ve made lots of friends now tho (well not lots but u know i’m never by myself in a class which is a nice feeling)

and they actually wanna do things which is so different and nice but tbh i’m prob gonna get tired of that bc i’m an introvert and love/need time alone sometimes

also think it may start to clash w my friends from other schools bc i wanna hang out w them but at the same time i kinda think it’s good to hang out w people i’m gonna be spending every day with

one of my friends that goes to a school kinda far away calls me all the time and she’s kinda changing which is a little sad but idk i’ll keep this updated w that as time goes on

my dad found a new way for me to get to school and i love it

driving the way he showed me is much less stressful and in general just more pleasant so i no longer wanna cry over driving to school :)

idk i think that’s it for now since i’m sick and wanna sleep. i’ll try to keep this more updated lol

- anonymous girl who forgot the sign off and is too lazy to go look

#post4

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thecollegeyearsx-blog · 7 years

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Day 3 blogging and i’m still kicking it look @ me

Today was my first day of orientation. I think this gif of michael scott accurately represents how that went:

If everyone in my class was there...then it’s a really small class. With about 70% of it being girls.

As of right now, I’d say I have zero friends after today but maybe possibilities for some? There was one girl I knew from soccer like 7 years ago and she was nice/funny. There was another girl I used to go to school with but was never friends with who I kind of sought after just bc I knew her. She’s really nice and friendly, but idk I don’t think we have much in common.

Then there was this other girl. I have no idea what her name is, but we have the same major and we kept ending up near each other so I put myself out there and tried talking to her. But apparently there is someone out there who’s even more shy than me, bc talking to her was one of the hardest things ever. I prepared for small talk ok. I watched youtube videos about how to initiate a convo and keep it going. I tried so hard to talk to this girl bc if we’re in the same major we’re gonna see a lot of each other. And she really did seem nice. But ! I’d ask her something, she’d answer with like a one word reply, I added commentary to her reply to keep the convo moving and then asked another question related and just back with the one word replies !!! She never asked me anything about myself back, so like idk maybe she just wasn’t interested. But I really did try.

As for guys. One looked like nick jonas. Like not even kidding. 2016 Nick Jonas to be exact. Maybe he’s nice, but he just gave off this “I’m great and i know i’m good looking vibe” so

I only talked to one guy. And it was someone I knew that I used to go to school with so that wasn’t hard. Talking to him was actually the most comfortable conversation I had all day (besides talking to my mom lol) We weren’t ever really friends before at school either, but that was a long time ago and idk he’s always been nice so maybe he’d be a good friend now.

There was one cute guy. Literally only know that he doesn’t play sports and will be joining clubs (got that info from eavesdropping woops lololol) But with the ratio of girls to guys at my school i doubt i’d even talk to him ever.

Other eventful things today were: my orientation leader was really bad. Like she had nothing planned so we all just stood there? Nick jonas lookalike was with our group tho hahahah so that was funny. He looks just like him !!!!! Like it’s weird.

I drove to school again with my mom. Still really bad at it, so she’s gonna go with me again tomorrow. My dad yelled at me and told me to “grow up” but he doesn’t get it. It’s not like I want to have people drive me around when it’s out of their way. I just get such huge anxiety when it comes to being on the road, in control of a vehicle that’s capable of killing myself and others. I don’t like that responsibility in a busy area that I’m not familiar with. I’m not ready for that. I’ve never even drove to the CVS right down the street from me.

I also saw the inside of a dorm today because somehow I ended up with the popular girl clique and just kinda went in someone’s dorm? The dorms are a lot nicer from when I toured the school last year, but i still probably wouldn’t wanna live there. I’m just too different from the people in my class (i feel like i’m living bring it on 3 except i’m not a cheerleader -anymore-), i don’t like the uneven ratio of girls and guys, my class is small which i’m tired of having bc my classes have always been small, the campus isn’t that nice and i hate the commute. I don’t think I’ll be at this school next year. I’m already thinking about transferring and switching my major.

Also, I already got freaking lost trying to leave the dorm.

Let’s see what else? I had dough balls today for dinner. It was the first thing I ate all day because I was so nervous I made myself sick in the morning :)

Still have to read my summer reading book. So maybe I should go do that now?

(lol i’m not gonna go that now)

I’m gonna keep listening to music now and maybe watch some netflix. I’m responsible I swear. I’ll get the reading by the time school starts. Might stress myself out trying to do it, but i’m not even supposed to have summer reading anyway !!! So for now i’m gonna pretend I don’t.

- anonymous negative girl in her pre days of the college years // 8/27/17

#post3

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thecollegeyearsx-blog · 7 years

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Final Countdown: 3 Days

i’m back

but like not really i’m literally only doing this to make it farther than the last time i tried making a goal for myself (mentioned in previous post)

i don’t really want to write this now because i’m so tired but u know..gotta do it for the fans (ignore me. pls. seriously this is 99% for me only but like if u found this and wanted to read it then go ahead??? follow me journaling digitally here for the next 4 years) *that’s not gonna happen i’m bad with keeping up w things this will die and be forgotten about probably in 2 weeks*

My first day of orientation starts tomorrow and i’m nervous and don’t want to go but i’m also really curious? Like i wonder who i’ll be going to school with and what the next 4 years of my life are gonna be like.

Also: there will b boys. And how do I feel about that? This:

describes me pretty well rn. Like i’m excited to finally be in a co-ed school again (LITERALLY A FREAKING GHAT JUST FLEW IN MY FACE/ONTO MY COMPUTER RIGHT NOW THAT IS WHAT DESCRIBES HOW MY LIFE IS GOING RN) *i hate bugs* *especially those little weasels* anYWAY.

- i’m excited for co-ed-ness...but idk i’ve been going to school with just girls for 4 years wearing a uniform and no makeup and messy af hair. i’ve gotten used to not caring about my appearance in class but it’s like now i kinda feel like i should? and i’m such an amateur at all beauty related things like i’m finally just learning how to contour and i’m gonna be 19 in a couple of months. also like i just don’t know how to talk to guys???? even if i don’t find them cute i just like can’t talk to them bc i haven’t had to speak to one my age in soOooo long

i’m hoping that goes well though. I’ll keep you posted for tomorrow. *will i?*

Today I practiced driving to my school again and it was a little bit better. Maybe I’ll actually survive the ride for a couple of days now. I also painted my nails today bc I find having cool nails is a great conversation starter...but i wanted to have the COOLEST nails so i just kept retrying things and now they’re just this plain blue color and they’re super blobby and in my head they went from fab to drab :/

is drab a word?

anyway, i wanna watch some wowp or teen wolf or the oc or the office or game of thrones rn....so imma go do that instead of finishing my summer reading book

bye

- anonymous girl in her pre days of the college years // 8/26/17

#post2 #diary

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thecollegeyearsx-blog · 7 years

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Final Countdown: 4 Days

My first year of college starts in 4 days and since I’m feeling pretty miserable af rn I thought I might as well do something to document the experience for myself, what I’m feeling, my likes/dislikes, etc. so that I can look back on this in 4 years and be like lol what a loser.

I usually suck at keeping things going. Like freshmen year of high school I planned on taking a picture of myself everyday so that I could make one of those videos where they show transformations over the years with like .003 second images but yeah that only lasted one day because I forgot to take the picture on day 2.

Anyway, what are my thoughts now?

I still have to finish my summer reading book (which isn’t supposed to be a thing in college come on people) and i have to do about an hour more on some “awareness” course that tells me all about drinking and partying and how elsa and anna got cray at a party (it legit used elsa and anna as an example i’m not even kidding) and like it’s kinda annoying bc i know myself? None of that interests me so elsa and anna can party on while i stay home watching the office ?

Let’s see what else is there?

I drove to my school for the first time today and that was an experience.

I didn’t harm anyone or anything, but I did almost turn onto the highway like 4 times and ur girl doesn’t do highways so that could’ve been rough. It’s just such a busy commute with lots of people and cars and i’m not an experienced driver at all and i hate driving so it was kind of a nightmare and i’m dreading having to drive to school and back every freaking day.

In this moment i’m really wishing I decided to live on campus. But you know...at least i’m saving money and can see my dogs every day?

Most of my friends moved into their dorms today and it made me kind of sad because we already are getting distant with each other. You ask for a simple pic of their dorm so far and nada replies! I love decorating and all said friends know this and I pestered them for months about what their dorm theme/color scheme was going to be and how excited I was for them to decorate but now that the day has come no one answers me on how it’s going. I’m sure they’re just busy and overwhelmed, but still. I can be impatient and always think the worst.

I also decided I think I want to change my major. Like classes haven’t even started and I’m already doubting myself. It’s just like I’m sure I’ll do okay in the major I have now..but is it something I really want to do? Deep down I know I love screenplay writing and films and just more creative things so why the heck am I majoring in ACCOUNTING?

Update: As I’m writing this one friend has messaged saying I’ll get the dorm tour tomorrow. Bless. However, this message made me realize something..All of my friends are like..moving on with their lives and everything is new for them..While I’m sitting here in my bed I’ve always had (well lol ever since i stole it and the room it’s in from my sister when she went off to college) and like not much is changing for me? How can I grow if everything is kind of the same? In high school I legit stayed in my room 90% of the time and now I feel like I may do the same thing in college? Idk. I’m going to try to actually have a life and to not die driving to school and to keep this thing going every day until I graduate college. But who knows? If I come back tomorrow for day 2 at least I’ll already have a better thing going for me than the picture thing in high school.

- anonymous girl in her pre days of the college years (x) (bc thecollegeyears was already freaking taken just my luck) // 8/25/17

also wow can i just say what a great end to this first post i feel like a profesh coming full circle there wow

ok bye

p.s. i don’t expect anyone to read this bc it’s more just like an online journal for me? but like if u are then that’s cool i GUESS

#post1

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