Tea and Rose Thorns 1/????

Just some fluff between a cannibal and her deer!

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The subtle scent of tea leaves and lavender cookies wafts around Alastor, pointed and reddened nose twitching faintly. His sodden handkerchief has yet to have left his hand, a continuous attachment that he's found himself in ever worsening need of as of late..

He lacked even a shred of an appetite, a downright shame given how delicious Rosie's baking was, her ability to effortlessly blend meat into sweet delectables never failing to impress him. Still, he picked a cookie from the top, biting into it with a lackluster hum of appreciation.

"Simply delicious as always, mby dear..",he croaked, swallowing with a sharp wince that he hoped had gone unnoticed.

It hadn't.

"Deer, please don't insult my eyesight with such senseless fibs. You look atrocious..",she cooed, sipping her tea with practiced ease, blackened eyes fixed on her partner,"You really must learn to get your flu shot. It's truly not that bad, far better than..this.".

She makes a crude gesture in reference to his entirety, making him huff and bristle a bit. "This isn't thad bad--ah, a mboment, blease..",he twisted his upper body entirely away from her, spine cracking as he blew his nose with a gurgling sound that even had his shadow cringing in pity,"There we are! Fine as rain once mbore!".

He turned back around with a tired smile, ears drooping just a bit and moisture already collecting along the bottom of his irritated and chaffed nostrils. Rosie hummed softly, rising without saying a word and disappearing down the hall, leaving her poor spouse to tilt his head in confusion, shadow slinking after her like a lost puppy.

He didn't need to wonder long, however, before she returned with his neatly folded, pinstripe pajamas and a thermometer placed ever so carefully in the middle of the stack. He raised a brow, pupils flicking to match her gaze then back again.

"And what exactly do you wish for mbe tdo do with this? It's mbuch tdoo early for..Hh..b-bed a-and furthermboreeeSTCHIEWWW! Hihh..Hhh..HEEEEEHHHESSTCHHH!". Rosie merely took a step back as the fit unleashed, watching with zero surprise as Alastor's form grew and shifted with each and every sneeze, joints cracking and inky tendrils snaking around the kitchen as if searching for their next meal.

He sniffles and snorts between hitches, thick ropes of goop dangling from his nose as he staggers a bit, filling nearly the entire kitchen and bumping into things, pawing vigorously at his itchy nose. "A-Apologieehhh..EHHH?!..HHH'NgkSTCHEWW! 'StCHIEWW! Huhhh..nngh..? SNDFF! SNDDDF! SNRRRRK! Ough, excuse mbe..",he muttered sheepishly, voice broken and distorted with static and flu, exhausted eyes settling on her comforting form, leaning down to nuzzle into her chest,"I've ruined our tea time, haven't I?".

"Not in the slightest but I think, perhaps, you might enjoy it more in bed, hm?",she smiled softly, petting his hair and palming his forehead,"My goodness, that's quite a fever you're sporting! Certainly not the best fashion piece!".

Alastor chuckled lowly, an odd and highly distorted sound but one she loved all the same,"Ndo? I was thinki'g of returni'g id anyways! I'mb ndot feeli'g very well, Rosie..". She merely nods, taking a large claw in her dainty hand and guiding the wayward radio host to bed, his form shifting and twisting to fit into the room, his best efforts to transform back failing, his body too exhausted to successfully change back.

Still, he slunk into the plush bed, curling up as much as possible under the comforter, dabbing at his nose with a now comically undersized handkerchief that did little more than spread the mess about.

"SNDDFFFF! Hells above, I'mb a proper mbess right ndow! I fear I mbight ndeed a blanket for mby ndose until I can change back..".

Already rummaging in her closet, she emerges with a large quilt, sitting beside him and patting her lap, his head coming to rest there and allowing her to tend to his nose.

"I'm well aware, deer, but you're my mess. Now, do us both a favor and blow!".

a miserably sick someone, a, and their partner b, who’s starting to feel a little sniffly themselves. they’re curled up on the couch together, a having only just woken up from a nap in their lover’s nap — perhaps b’s been muffling sneezes of their own and wasn’t quite quiet enough at a certain point.

either way, they’re both feeling shitty, though one certainly more than the other. a feels so bad that they’ve gotten their partner sick after trying so hard not to. but hey — at least they can cuddle without fear now. this gives a an idea.

“hey,” they start, words heavy with congestion as a grin tugs at their lips, chapped from breathing through their mouth for so long. “now that we’re both sick, and we don’t have to worry about germs anymore…”

b smirks right back at them. “what are you implying, huh?”

a doesn’t need to offer any verbal confirmation — they just sit up and let themselves melt against their partner’s lips, and god does it feel incredible.

pulling away every ten or so seconds to catch their breath, exhaling heavily through their mouth given that their nose is decidedly out of commission right now. delicate moans of pleasure from the pair of them at the sensation of such intimate contact for the first time in what feels like forever. b pressing tender kisses to the bridge of a’s stuffy nose, red-raw and entirely full of cold. desperate, shuddering sneezes muffled into the crook of b’s neck, a not-so-subtle reminder that, though this is definitely making them feel better, a is still feeling horribly unwell.

b, on the other hand, doesn’t feel all too bad. sure, it’s only the first day that they’ve started noticing symptoms, but the way things went for a, with everything coming on at once, they have a feeling this cold won’t be as terrible for them as it is for their poor partner.

they’ve been sniffly and sneezy all day, and a little tired, but they reckon this may be the extent of things. and it’s not surprising that they’re feeling drowsy, anyways — they haven’t had time to rest properly since they’ve been taking care of a, not even a moment to do their usual chores like folding the laundry or cleaning the house.

they both sleep very well that night, and the next morning, a’s feeling a little better. but b?

oh, b feels awful. their head is entirely clogged, throat so sore just trying to clear it feels like agony. upon b’s sleepy morning greeting to them, their only response is an exhausted, heavy sneeze and a drawn-out sniffle.

a’s brow furrows in concern. “bless you… looks like you got it as bad as me, huh?”

“i think,” b mutters stuffily, pausing to reach for a tissue and dab at their streaming nose. “we shouldn’t have done that last night.”

“how come?” a frowns. “you were sick anyways.”

b can only shake their head as their breath hitches miserably, raising their elbow to their face. “n-no, i… hh’ETSCHHhuh!… ugh. i think maybe that might’ve been allergies yesterday. haven’t… haven’t dusted in a while.”

“ah.” a look of guilty realisation crosses across a’s still fever-flushed face. “god, i’m so sorry.”

b just shrugs. “s’fine. was probably bound to catch this anyways.”

“mm.”

“so… you wanna…?”

b doesn’t need to ask them twice.

Little food for thought:

Someone being so, so incredibly stuffed up with a bad cold that they can barely breathe, because their nose is all clogged and their throat is sore and congested. They try to sniffle it up, but their poor throat can’t handle the post nasal drip, each drop feeling like fire in their mouth. They rub and rub, but the itch only grows. Even when their nose isn’t itchy, the need to blow is very apparent. The only option is to blow their nose…but this makes them sneeze every.single.time. Their nose is just so itchy. When they blow, their whole nose buzzes with pressure, letting congested, wet, itchy sneezes out into the tissues. They become increasingly agitated, a combination of fever, exhaustion, and just plan old not feeling good, and burst into tears. Caretaker comes in at just the right moment, holding whumpees head to their chest and comforting them as their itchy, congested, full bodied sneezes are let loose into caretakers shirt as they try to blow away the tear-induced snot. Poor thing just can’t get any relief…

What do you mean if I don't get instant gratification the millisecond I post a fic it's not a reflection of my self-worth?!

What do you mean if I wanna write fic I gotta actually type the words?!

The mental whiplash of liking a character in a snz kink way but also liking them in a normal fandom "I just think they're neat" way but also liking them in a serious literary analysis way

Tea and Rose Thorns 1/????

Just some fluff between a cannibal and her deer!

--------------------------------

The subtle scent of tea leaves and lavender cookies wafts around Alastor, pointed and reddened nose twitching faintly. His sodden handkerchief has yet to have left his hand, a continuous attachment that he's found himself in ever worsening need of as of late..

He lacked even a shred of an appetite, a downright shame given how delicious Rosie's baking was, her ability to effortlessly blend meat into sweet delectables never failing to impress him. Still, he picked a cookie from the top, biting into it with a lackluster hum of appreciation.

"Simply delicious as always, mby dear..",he croaked, swallowing with a sharp wince that he hoped had gone unnoticed.

It hadn't.

"Deer, please don't insult my eyesight with such senseless fibs. You look atrocious..",she cooed, sipping her tea with practiced ease, blackened eyes fixed on her partner,"You really must learn to get your flu shot. It's truly not that bad, far better than..this.".

She makes a crude gesture in reference to his entirety, making him huff and bristle a bit. "This isn't thad bad--ah, a mboment, blease..",he twisted his upper body entirely away from her, spine cracking as he blew his nose with a gurgling sound that even had his shadow cringing in pity,"There we are! Fine as rain once mbore!".

He turned back around with a tired smile, ears drooping just a bit and moisture already collecting along the bottom of his irritated and chaffed nostrils. Rosie hummed softly, rising without saying a word and disappearing down the hall, leaving her poor spouse to tilt his head in confusion, shadow slinking after her like a lost puppy.

He didn't need to wonder long, however, before she returned with his neatly folded, pinstripe pajamas and a thermometer placed ever so carefully in the middle of the stack. He raised a brow, pupils flicking to match her gaze then back again.

"And what exactly do you wish for mbe tdo do with this? It's mbuch tdoo early for..Hh..b-bed a-and furthermboreeeSTCHIEWWW! Hihh..Hhh..HEEEEEHHHESSTCHHH!". Rosie merely took a step back as the fit unleashed, watching with zero surprise as Alastor's form grew and shifted with each and every sneeze, joints cracking and inky tendrils snaking around the kitchen as if searching for their next meal.

He sniffles and snorts between hitches, thick ropes of goop dangling from his nose as he staggers a bit, filling nearly the entire kitchen and bumping into things, pawing vigorously at his itchy nose. "A-Apologieehhh..EHHH?!..HHH'NgkSTCHEWW! 'StCHIEWW! Huhhh..nngh..? SNDFF! SNDDDF! SNRRRRK! Ough, excuse mbe..",he muttered sheepishly, voice broken and distorted with static and flu, exhausted eyes settling on her comforting form, leaning down to nuzzle into her chest,"I've ruined our tea time, haven't I?".

"Not in the slightest but I think, perhaps, you might enjoy it more in bed, hm?",she smiled softly, petting his hair and palming his forehead,"My goodness, that's quite a fever you're sporting! Certainly not the best fashion piece!".

Alastor chuckled lowly, an odd and highly distorted sound but one she loved all the same,"Ndo? I was thinki'g of returni'g id anyways! I'mb ndot feeli'g very well, Rosie..". She merely nods, taking a large claw in her dainty hand and guiding the wayward radio host to bed, his form shifting and twisting to fit into the room, his best efforts to transform back failing, his body too exhausted to successfully change back.

Still, he slunk into the plush bed, curling up as much as possible under the comforter, dabbing at his nose with a now comically undersized handkerchief that did little more than spread the mess about.

"SNDDFFFF! Hells above, I'mb a proper mbess right ndow! I fear I mbight ndeed a blanket for mby ndose until I can change back..".

Already rummaging in her closet, she emerges with a large quilt, sitting beside him and patting her lap, his head coming to rest there and allowing her to tend to his nose.

"I'm well aware, deer, but you're my mess. Now, do us both a favor and blow!".

Do you have any favorite hazbin snzcanons?

I sure do 😈 An/gel Du/st occupies 99% of my brain these days so they’re all about him. Credits to @ghostlychill for being my co-conspirator on these:

• He’s allergic to peppermint (based on the fact that peppermint repels spiders).

• His nose is extremely touch-sensitive and a simple nose boop can turn it into a sneeze button.

• He doesn’t like to be alone when sick, and he’ll move almost all his bedding to the parlor to camp out on the couch for the duration of his illness.

• He’s a walking variety pack, with sneezes ranging from efficient and punchy (his ordinary sneeze) to torturously drawn-out and itchy (his allergic sneeze) to harsh and 3-syllabled (his punctuating cold/flu sneeze).

• He tends to cover with the back of his wrist. But he’s been guilty of not covering.

• Also guilty of littering his vicinity with balled up tissues instead of getting up to throw them away when he’s sick.

Haz/bin Ho/tel headcanon (à la popular Go/od Om/ens hcs) that if an angel blesses a demon, it just makes them sneeze more because their very beings are kind of naturally repulsed by holiness

I can think of Several characters who would really enjoy exploiting this little effect with demons they dislike,,,

Currently obsessing over the idea of someone rubbing their nose before sneezing, a full, indulgent, vigorous rub, but that just isn’t enough to stop them from sneezing. Even better, someone rubbing and massaging their nose after a sneeze, only to sneeze AGAIN. Like ughhhh all that rubbing and begging not to sneeze, all useless in the face of such a fierce itch and a nose that just desperate needs to sneeze.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

MMMMM DO I START THAT RADIO\ROSE FIC THAT'S BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR AGES???

banter and doing silly little bits is the best foreplay, just so you know

"I love this character"

"Your writing says otherwise"

"I never said my love was kind."

Wanted to practice snz art with some doodles! So have Lu/ci/fer dealing with a cold + alcohol + an uncontrollable form at a social event. I have. Literally no idea how this looks or if it even looks good in any way but I hope it's decent!

When they know you’re sick so instead of asking “how are you doing?” They ask “how are you feeling?” >>>>>

I would like to sit on this man's face while he eats me out with the worst flu of his immortal life--