thebearthebatandtheidiot
Gale and Halsin girlie
I would like to say i have a side blog for my hyperfixations, but i do not.
Currently bg3 hell AO3: Ysmiyr
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i feel like we as a fandom sleep on the fact that a majority of bg3 is a bunch of city people and foreigners being thrown into an unfamiliar environment and having to live there/navigate it for like a month LMAO
long treks through rain, wind, heavy sun
biting bugs
baths in freezing cold creek water
boots getting stuck in the mud
someone waking up with a snake in their tent
failed attempts at learning to hunt or locate food and everyone getting hangry
accidentally eating poisonous plants
slipping/tripping/falling over various terrains
walking through spider webs
being sticky and sweaty from the humidity
aching backs and feet
taking a wrong turn and getting lost
scary animal noises in the middle of the night
everyone smelling like mildew, B.O, and dirt (a.k.a ten cans of BOUNCE THAT ASS)
i just feel like there’s some potential here
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blah blah Bethesda bad anyway
my favorite thing about Elder Scrolls is how goddamn fuckin weird it is
like on surface it's just some dnd game but like even a cursory glance shows tis fucking insane like:
The moons is the corpse of a god
the stars are actually holes in reality when alot of primordial spirits hated that mortals were becoming a thing and fucked off
The demon lord of forbidden knowledge/resident Cthulhu stand-in might also be the beta version of the entire fucking universe made sentient when it wasn't chosen to be the used reality
there are cat ppl that take the form of furrys, lions, or regular cats, so you can have a cursing Pirate legend whose an alcoholic & wanted in 5 countries but is also a like basic tabby cat
the wood elves are so pro-nature they're cannibals and also they murder vegetarians
Vampires came from the Lord of Rape doing well ya know
Werewolves came to exist bc the lord of hunt got bored and is a furry
sex is treated like a fucking ip copyright contract on what aspect of sex is happening and what god it's under. There's been many religious wars about this
The lizard ppl are part tree
the Dwarves all fucked off somewhere and disappeared bc they were so atheist they did math to break relativity and literally no one has any idea where they went God or mortal (except maybe Cthulhu and hes not telling)
Said Cthulhu stand-in treats hiding your grandma's secret cookie recipe & hiding a spell that would end the universe and slay a god the exact same and he will murder you for either
Everyone wants to fuck the Orcs but will never admit it and they got so bent out of shape that a demon god killed the og orc god, ate him, and shat him out bc she couldn't deal with everyone complimenting them all the time so now all Orcs are cursed to be hated but they're all still sexy & so is their god
And all this isnt even the tip of the iceberg
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Vultures are holy creatures.
Tending the dead.
Bowing low.
Bared head.
Whispers to cold flesh,
“Your old name is not your king.
I rename you ‘Everything.’”
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im trusting u guys to make the correct decision here. close ur eyes and envision the TRUTH.
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i see your kinky astarion and vanilla gale and i raise you vanilla astarion and kinky gale. these mfers be like
astarion: god please can i just have normal sex for once in my life, or even no sex, no sex is good too
gale: i just got so turned on watching you murder demons that i can't think straight, let's fuck in seven dimensions
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One thing I love about Gale is that he'd do the finger wiggle and say "don't mind if I do" to a little treat but he'd also say it to the Necromancy of Thay.
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Blank bloodweave gifs for your imagination!!
Let me know what you think they're saying here :)
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all goofing aside I genuinely don't understand the urge to reimagine Taylor Allison Swift as a secretly queer icon when the pop music scene(TM) is like. literally overflowing with women who actually like women. Gaga and Kesha and Miley and Halsey are right there. Rina Sawayama and Hayley Kiyoko and Rebecca Black and Kehlani and Victoria Monét and Miya Folick if you're willing to get slightly less top 100. Janelle and Demi for them nonbinary takes on liking girls. like what are we doing here. like I'm not even saying you can't enjoy Taylor but why would you hang all your little gay hopes on her.
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can i get permission to say something that could potentially get me killed here and would DEFINITELY get me killed on twitter. am i safe with you here
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can I just say how heartbreaking it is that Halsin continuously doubts someone could love him? when he says "my heart does not stir lightly... but it does now" he actually has to take a moment to breathe and close his eyes. like he's scared to admit it. like once he opens his eyes, the PC will be gone. even during his romance scene, you have to encourage him that this was what you wanted and that when he goes into wildshape and back into his regular form, PC tells him "it's okay, now come here" like he's TERRIFIED of scaring the PC because he rambles and apologizes profusely.
and when you solo romance him/decide to leave with him post brain, he tells you in the epilogue:
"Yet you chose me", like he STILL can't believe pc could've picked him over ANYONE SIX MONTHS LATER. This man wants to be loved but STRUGGLES to believe it once someone actually loves him and it's so heartbreaking. He's just a gentle giant. (also thank you @autistichalsin bc you've encouraged me to start analyzing Halsin with your posts)
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Fantasy books stop having arctic kingdoms of all blond hair blue eyed white people.
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