the-real-narnia - Tumblr blog

the-real-narnia · 16 hours

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i need a homo-magi tim drake au.

like, i find it very hard to believe that in that mausoleum of a mansion filled to the brim with ancient artifacts jack and janet drake collected throughout their travels, that not a single one of them was cursed —

— and that a nine year old tim didn’t use an ancient aztec macuahuitl as a baseball bat and now knows several dead languages with weird cursed powers from some ancient meso-american demon that camps out in his body.

but like tim has no clue that whatever is going on with him is not normal because he was never told it wasn’t not normal,

and then imagine other people’s reactions to this, especially other magic users like zatanna and constantine —

zatanna: i don’t understand why i can’t seem to get these runes right..

13 year old tim drake: because you’re working on them backwards, it’s supposed to be [fast paced nahuatl]

zatanna: how…?

tim (blissfully unaware of his abilities, smiling sweetly): the voices :D

and then i just imagine his shadow is some looming creature or something idk, kinda how in yj comics his shadow is batman’s silhouette

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the-real-narnia · 16 hours

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I LOVE Tims fuckass houseboat and it is severely underutilized in this fandom imo

Like, firstly this guy parks his boat on the Gotham Marina which shouldnt even exist. Gotham has the most toxic waters in the country why the hell does it have a marina??

And secondly it is so funny to think about Tim Drake-Wayne, one of the richest people in Gotham, living on the most fuckass little houseboat in butfuck nowhere.

LIKE

Can you imagine being a Gothamite and seeing on the celebrity gossip page that Tim Drake-Wayne moved to the most toxic place in the country on a dingy little houseboat to be with his boyfriend.

Its just so funny to think about 😭

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the-real-narnia · 16 hours

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I heard reference to something about how all anime are required to have good looking cabbage because of That One Time. So simply looking up "anime cabbage" I found the source.

Some harem anime way back in the day had an episode where the characters cooked, and they animated cabbage so terribly like this it left a bad mark on the anime community forever. Apparently this is part of the reason why all food usually looks good in anime, even moreso than the regular show sometimes. With cabbage being especially well drawn.

A complaint, apparently in a paper.

The first show when released internationally was reanimated in this part.

And high quality or low quality cabbage is sometimes referenced.

I learned of this because the most recent Hologra episode has noel eating cabbage, tearing apart a fine quality cabbage into two low poly halves.

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the-real-narnia · 16 hours

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The ultimate comedy/angst idea. Tim has issues with authority without even knowing what authority is.

Like he's the pinnacle of latchkey kid. His parents weren't there to tell him no or anything and he has a shit ton of money. In the comics he very clearly goes "lol no" to every rule and has the "ask for forgiveness rather than permission" mindset.

Imagine when Bruce gets his shit together and like wants to start actually parenting Tim rather that Tim parenting him and like it fails miserably.

Bruce, using the BatDad Voice™️: Tim, I forbid you from doing that

Timothy "Rules? I have no clue what that even means" Drake thinking that this was a joke: lmfao that's cute

And maybe Bruce has a little learning arc like wow this kid is fucked up, wow I fucked up. Whoa I got parented by a baby and now that baby has a fucked up sense of self and has matured way too fast and lost it's childhood because I'm an emotional wreck who had to rely on a whole ass baby for emotional and mental support.

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the-real-narnia · 16 hours

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Bruce: "One second I'm going to open up the files and show you."

Clark, wincing at the bright lights: "You okay if I turn some of this off?"

Bruce: "Go for it. Okay so here-- *bats rustle above and Bruce freezes, slowly glancing up* --uh, here you can see the evidence from the blast."

Clark, touching the screen: "There, that's what I saw at the crime scene. Is that from the shrapnel or something else? Bruce?"

Bat flaps overhead and Bruce flinched a little, distracted: "Huh?"

Clark: "Are you-- how can you still be afraid of bats?"

Bruce: "I'm not afraid of bats." *more chattering and flapping and Bruce nearly ducks* "For fuck's-- Clark, does it sound like they're closer to us now? Stop laughing."

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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i've been meaning to do this with this drawing.

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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i imagine that someone in gotham runs a 'how long has it been since bruce wayne adopted a kid?' twitter and it updates regularly with the exact number of days since whatever child's official adoption announcement. the replies are full of jokes about bruce wayne's adoption addiction

i also imagine that every once in a while, bruce wayne's official twitter account qrt's the latest countdown with 0 days, and that's how the public finds out about the latest wayne kid

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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Gothamites are the most unserious people ever. They put crime lords in their happy meals.

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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Solar eclipse shadows

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman

“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”

“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”

“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.

Dick:

He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.

One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.

Jason:

Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.

So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.

Tim:

Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.

Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.

Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.

Damian:

Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.

"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".

Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.

Duke:

By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.

Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".

Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"

Cass:

Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.

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the-real-narnia · 19 hours

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things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me