the-potato-procurator
My perception of reality is completely altered
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Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry for the time that's taking me to write requests! I'm a little busy with college stuff, so I gotta get everything ready to move and I don't find the energy to write. I'm so sorry, I promise I will eventually start posting as soon as everything is back to normal! Thank you for your patience! 🩷
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hello !! hope you're having a good day/night
was hoping you could write headcanons for the courtiers (if you feel like it's a lot of work, Valerius alone would be fine) with a very affectionate s/o
(and sorry if my english is not great, it is not my first language^^)
Hello, lovely anon! Do not worry, English isn't my first language either and yes, you may have all five courtiers!
Vulgora
- At first it's awkward. VERY awkward. They are not used to gentleness, let alone affection
- The moment you embrace them, Vulgora freezes, looking down (or up) at you while they try to process what in the Devil's name you are doing
- You must consider yourself lucky. If it were anyone else they would've pulled a WWE on them and thrown the person in question across the room
- You know how touch averse people react when they receive a hug from someone they care about but they don't have the heart to tell them to stop? That's them rn
- When reality settles in, they pat your back slowly. If you laugh, they will turn beet red and ask you what's so funny
- You tell them they are cute
- "SHUT UP! YOU ARE THE CUTE ONE!" (Agressive flirting: check)
- It's okay, just give them time and space and they will eventually initiate the hugs themselves. Bone crushing hugs
- When they are finally comfortable with being touched at all, they are more than happy to receive your affections. Hugs, kissing, hand holding... You name it! Though, be warned, Vulgora's body temperature is above the average human's and varies depending on their mood
- They live for PDA and will show you off any chance they got
Valdemar
- Good luck trying to step close enough, it's like they can smell your intentions. The moment you reach out for them, they step away and look at you with the creepiest passive-agressive smile
- "Whatever do you think you are doing?"
- You tell them you just wanted a hug. They chuckle
- "No."
- If you somehow manage to make them feel the slightest amount of pity for you, they might allow you to embrace them... Once
- It's like hugging a corpse. They are boney, stiff and overall cold (both in a literal and rethorical sense)
- Don't expect this moment to last more than three seconds
- They don't mind your affectionate nature, even if they do not share or understand it at all, but just like they respect this behaviour of yours, they expect you to mind their boundries
- Never. I repeat, NEVER try to surprise them. They always have something sharp and dangerous between their hands and you might be stabbed
- But you are their friend, after all, so if by any chance they did hurt you, they will help you out. Just don't do that again
Volta
- This poor, poor baby. She NEEDS someone affectionate
- She is very clingy herself. She loves every and any type of physical contact as long as it's gentle and loving
- Holding hands has to be her favorite. Her tiny little grabbers are always on yours in almost every situation
- Did I mention how much she adores being carried? Please, hold her any chance you got. She is light as a feather, you won't have any problems
- Catch Vulgora gagging at how sappy the two of you are and telling you to get a room. You are happy, however, so you ignore their complaints
- She is very possessive. No one has ever been so kind to Volta
- "B-But MC! What if they take you away from Volta? Oh, she would be so sad... So sad..."
- Please, for the love of God, don't try to make her jelous. Not even jokingly. Her sensitive little heart is not able to take it and she will immediately start crying
- Overall you'll have to do lots of reassurance, and what better way to do that than to tell her how much you love her through cuddles?
- Volta just can't live without you now. She has horrible abandonment issues
Vlastomil
- Shyshyshy
- Take it easy with him, he might have a heart attack if you hug him out of the blue
- Catch him turning every different shade of red when you show the slightest sign of affection
- Don't get me wrong, he appreciates your display of emotion! He is just not used to it, much like every other courtier
- He has mixed feelings about PDA: he loves the fact that you don't mind being seen in public with him, but at the same time he feels everyone's eyes on him while you hold hands and that is not good for his social anxiety
- He is surprisingly good at hugging. He isn't too gentle or too harsh. He uses the perfect amount of pressure
- Expect a worm or two to sneak into your cuddle sessions
- "Apologies, darling! These little guys follow me absolutely every where"
- Don't worry, if you are not comfortable with his precious worms, he will make sure they are away for as long as you are there. That is not to say he won't try to show you they are harmless
Valerius
- Much like Vulgora, he is weirded out at first. He is not particularly fond of physical contact if any kind. Contrary to the Pontifex, Valerius is very much used to receiving affection (from his parents, that is)
- He stands perfectly still as you wrap your arms around him. It's... uncomfortable. For the both of you
- "Are you done, magician?"
- When you frown at his reaction, he chuckles. You freeze. He can smile? He can laugh?? He can feel any other emotion other than spite???
- Yes, of course he can. Only toward you, though. With everyone else he is still very dry
- Once he accepts his feelings toward you, he drops the mean attitude and turns into the sweetest man. He is very attentive, loving and (surprisingly) affectionate!
- He is not fond of PDA, though. Sure, he has no problem with a subtle flirting, maybe holding your hand for a while, but you won't catch him being all lovey-dovey in public
- He is a gentle lover and he only ever smiles around you. He has the softest, most sweet smile you have ever seen
- Cuddling is a foreign term to him, but does not mean he doesn't enjoy it!
- Valerius is not an over the top kinda guy, but that's what makes him special. He reserves his tender side for you and you only
There it is! Sorry, it took me quite a while! I struggled a bit with Valerius, but I finally figured him out! Thank you for your patience and hope you enjoyed 🩷
#pontifex vulgora#vulgora x reader#quaestor valdemar#procurator volta#volta x reader#praetor vlastomil#vlastomil x reader#consul valerius#valerius x reader#the arcana courtiers
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Send help! Those 2 gremlins are also my faves...
IKR? They are the sillies. The little dum dums. I love them both with all my heart and I ship them so bad. I've come across so much lovely fanart from extremely talented artists and my heart goes doki doki when I see Vulgora and Volta holding hands 🥹
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No sorry I'm not sure who's Your favourite? I should guess by pfp it amount of text per courtier in headcanon post?
Hello there, anon! To be completely honest I have two favorites: Vulgora and Volta. I just happen to resemble Volta more than Vulgora, so that's why I decided to use a potato Volta theme. That and I find it very funny how she is compared to a sac of potatoes when Muriel throws her over his shoulder in his route lol
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✨Headcanons✨ on the courtiers because I'm mentally ill
Vulgora is AMAB. They did not undergo any surgeries because they feel comfortable in their own body and like to make dick jokes. For some time they believed themselves to be aromantic, but as it turns out wanting to pick fights left and right so much that you forget that having a partner is an option is not what aromanticism is. They fall fast and hard. VERY hard. They ramble about their glory days on the battlefield to their S/O as they show off their scars
Valdemar is AFAB and AroAce. They performed breast surgery on themselves with nothing but the materials neccessary and a mirror to see what they were doing (They succeeded). They find any and every unsettling item absolutely fascinating. They love taxidermy and combining parts from different animals to create bizarre creatures
Volta is CIS, but doesn't understand isn't fond of labels. She just likes food and anyone who is nice to her. She has separation anxiety and is in dier need of affection. She is also very sensitive and surprisingly empathetic. Her little secret is that she has an itsy-bitsy crush on Muriel, but don't tell him!
Vlastomil is a trans gay man. He sleeps in a coffin. He doesn't have many hobbies outside raising worms, but he does enjoy listening to music while he reads about his favorite invertebrates. He will shamelessly info-dump on the topic if you show the slightest hint of interest. Something tells me that this man is terrified of needles or any surgical tools, I don't know why
Valerius is a CIS bisexual man. He is too proud to admit he has feeling for anyone, however, and will be extra mean to the person he likes in order to hide his crush. Can tell types of wine by smelling them
If there are any misconceptions, please feel more than free to point them out! I will gladly correct them! 🙏🏻
#you cant tell i have a favorite courtier can you#the arcana courtiers#pontifex vulgora#quaestor valdemar#procurator volta#praetor vlastomil#consul valerius
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This is an answer to @helloflamewings2 that I thought I'd make into a post, since it's something I think everyone should know and that I forgot to add on my previous post. Sorry about that 😅 For now I will only be writing headcanons and maybe attempt to write longer stories. I won't be writing full fics just yet since I'm not very confident on my skills when it comes to stories with complex plots. Still, I will do my best to improve as I practice by writing requests! I strive mostly for light-hearted content, but that is not to say I'm to willing to try almost every kind of idea! The only thing(s) I ask of those interested in requesting is to keep it SFW and to respect characters' sexualities/identities such as Valdemar who to my knowledge is AroAce and non-binary. Hope I didn't disappoint and thank you for your interest! 🩷
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Hello! Welcome to my little blog! I know this tag has been dead for quite a while, but I intend to revive it! If you are interested in doing so as well, please send in a request! You can request for either courtier from The Arcana as long as it's SFW. I will exclusively write platonic Valdemar as I think it's official that they are aromantic (please, do let me know if I'm wrong). I will not write for the main six, however :( Sorry about that and hope you find what you are looking for!
Further information!
#the arcana courtiers#the arcana vulgora#the arcana valdemar#the arcana volta#the arcana vlastomil#the arcana valerius#pontifex vulgora#quaestor valdemar#procurator volta#praetor vlastomil#consul valerius#vulgora x reader#valdemar x reader#volta x reader#vlastomil x reader#valerius x reader
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