the-ones-who-are-forgotten
The Ones Who are Forgotten
This is basically a slightly to very depressing blog. It is here for the friends of people who are suicidal who need a place to let their emotions free.
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Hey, real talk time from the guy who hasn鈥檛 come onto this blog in months.
Shit is bad....ain鈥檛 it? I鈥檓 talking to anyone who reads this. It鈥檚 bad.....and dark. So dark isn鈥檛 it? I know. I鈥檝e stood where y鈥檃ll stood. I鈥檓 only seventeen, a seventeen year old guy. I can鈥檛, nor will I dare to assume I know what any of you all have been through. Nor how long you鈥檝e been fighting. But I do know a bit more than I used to. Over the course of time in which I鈥檝e been gone, shit went bad for me too.
Late nights filled with depressed thoughts. Writing stuff down mocking myself over what all had happened. Having to promise my friend that I was going to my best friend鈥檚 house, and not pulling off half way to pull out the pocket knife I had in my car. Sitting in the car and looking forward at a electricity pole and pondering the thought of starting up, backing up and ramming into it full speed. Even though I was right in front of my best friend鈥檚 house.
Am I sugar coating these thoughts to y鈥檃ll? No. But once again, I do not claim to have been through a fraction of what you all have. Nor to have thought this for as long as y鈥檃ll have. But....a few months ago something happened. As many of you don鈥檛 know, I started rp鈥檌ng a character from the web series RWBY. I met these people. Starting from one or two on skype 聽until I was introduced into a group chat. And from there the friendships grew. Close friends, that I have never even met irl. Friends that have been in private calls with me to calm me down from a panic attack. And then later....that friend who I had to promise to? She became my girlfriend. And she makes me happy, so happy.
Am I saying this is going to happen to y鈥檃ll? No, in no way shape or form. But I am saying it can get better. In some way, it could possibly get better if you carry on and keep living. Keep living. Stand up and keep moving forward as best you can. If you think you鈥檙e alone, then remember that I wrote this post and spoke to all of you. That I care, no matter the miles or the age difference. No matter the fact that I have no idea what you look like or have never heard your voice.
But I care. Even if you don鈥檛 see me, or hear me. Even though you don鈥檛 know me, I care. And I am just one among several people who feel and empathize with you. Want proof? Look around. I could tell you of about 90+ people I have sent messages to that are in similar situations to. You aren鈥檛 alone. Even if you can鈥檛 hear their voices, 聽even if you can鈥檛 see them. We are standing with you. And as long as you keep moving, keep living,聽then there is still the chance that it can get better.
-the-ones-who-are-forgotten
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I posted this three times tonight and had three people tell me that I helped save their life. Thank you to those people who have decided to struggle through to let us enjoy the gift of one more day of their prescence gracing us all. I hope that you all reblog this, to save another few. Because we all dserve another chance and hope in life. I went to the hospital 6 times before I decided to keep my life but I hope none of you suffer that much. And I hope you all can make that scary, seemingly painful, blind, hoping, wonderful step to live.
I want to help you in any way I can. ANYTHING. I mean it. If聽I had had someone stay with me and text me or talk to me all night, just one time, it would have changed my life. I know how hard those nights can be.
<3,
Love,
Emily
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It's so appropriate that in "Monster" by Skillet,
that after the growl every time it says monster again, the growl is still there underneath.
It's like how it actually feels. Even when you suppress it to the best of your ability, it'll still shout and scream to try to take over.
Even if you're the only one who can hear it.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA! WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS GEORGE? IS IT BECAUSE WE'RE NOT IN FOOTBALL? OR BECAUSE SHE'S NOT HERE TO HOLD YOU BACK? STOP IT! I HATE YOU! YOU SADISTIC, HORRENDOUS PIECE OF SHIT! WHY ARE YOU APART OF ME? LEAVE ME BE! YOU'RE NOT HELPING! STOP!
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TW warning
God. I want to just rip her mother to shreds. What the fuck is wrong with that bitch? She's hurting her own daughter and聽setting聽herself up for聽a surprise聽when her daughter is no longer under her jurisdiction. Because that's when there's going to seemingly be a 180 degree flip in my attitude towards her. The nice act will be gone and all that will be left is the cold hard truth that there are only about four people who I聽absolutely聽hate, and she's at the top of the list.
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Update
Hey sorry about not being on here much the past while. I just want y'all to know that I'm still here,it's just that because of school, I've been pretty busy and when I'm on tumblr, I'm usually on another account. So yeah. I do try to check on this account every once and awhile, but for now this account won't be very active. Sorry.
#explanation#not a very good one probably#but still#I will check on this account every once and awhile#so it isn't abandoned#message me and I might be willing to give some of yall the name of one of my tumblr accounts I use more#as a kind of#emergency contact way of getting ahold of me
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Fuck this.
Fuck this post so much.
Do not tell me
you鈥檙e best friend
would not sit in at your lunch table
for three fucking days
just staring blankly at your old seat
wishing that you were there
to fill the space with laughter.
Do not tell me
your younger brother
would not break down
in the middle of class
because you guys started talking about
your favorite type of subject
in school.
Do not tell me
your mother
would not stare into the mirror
with trembling lips
wishing she could be
bringing you home from the hospital
rather than having to escort you away
in a casket to the nearest graveyard.
Do not tell me
your father
would not begin working
the night shifts
to distract himself
of the silence at home
because you鈥檙e not up
until the ungodly hours of the night
talking to what鈥檚-his/her-face
on the phone
because you guys are so in love.
Do not tell me
your boyfriend/girlfriend
would not go into your room
and put on the last hoodie you wore
trying to desperately imprint
your sent onto their skin
so they never forget your smell.
Do not tell me
your friends
would not stare blankly
at the gymnasium wall
after the principal has announced
your death
to the entire school
making no sound
trying to convince themselves
this is just another one of
your impractical jokes.
Do NOT fucking TELL ME
this bullshit line
of how the stars would still appear
the sun would still come out
the earth would still rotate
and the seasons will still change
because without YOU
you lil beautiful piece of human being
none of these people will want
ANY of that to happen.
So yes.
Fuck this.
Fuck this post so much.
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Sorry if I stopped replying to anything,shower. Annnnnnnnnnnnd my parents are telling me to go to bed so night.
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ALRIGHT! HIATUS IS OVER! I'M NO LONGER DEPRESSED, HOPEFULLY NO MORE SAD POSTS FOR A WHILE, I FEEL GREAT!
#I'm not going to explain how this sudden turn-around happened#Too long and convuluted to explain#Basicaly you'd have to personally know me to begin to understand
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Those tiny laughs you make as you slowly begin succumb to sobs.
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Well that's it. By the the end of the night, my personal blog will likely deleted. I as of right now am planning on keeping this blog, but that could be subject to how I feel about it later down the line.
#I feel so dead inside#but that always happens after I lock myself in my room and cry#woot woot#second time this year I've broken down crying
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Please dont crash and burn. People care about you. I care about you. Strong people keep getting back up. Think happy thoughts. Love, laugh. Dont be afraid to lean on people during the bad times----use friends, collegues, teachers, family, and of course our Savior Jesus
Whoever this is, I thank you I really do... but right now this is about to turn into kind of a depressive rant so sorry.
GOD DAMMIT I KNOW NOT TO BE AFRAID TO LEAN ON FRIENDS IN BAD TIMES, BUT THEY WON'T ANSWER. I'VE BEGUN TO FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ACTIVELY IGNORING ME. AND AS MUCH AS I WANT TO COME OUT AND JUST TELL THEM I'M DEPRESSED, I'M AFRAID THAT THEY CAN'T TAKE MY PROBLEMS WITHOUT BEING CRUSHED BECAUSE OF THEIR OWN. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME, WHY AM I SUCH A WEAK PIECE OF SHIT. THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHOSE PROBLEMS MAKE ME SEEM LIKE I ONLY STUBBED A TOE. SOME OF MY OWN FRIEND'S PROBLEMS MAKE MINE SEEM LIKE THAT, BUT GOD DAMMIT I'M FALLING APART AND ANSWER!
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It's not good when you ask someone if they're ok and they force a smile and say yes. That doesn't show how strong someone is, only how broken.
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Slipping Mask
It's slipping
the facade that I keep
My mind is yelling at my body to keep it up
While my heart yells "Tear it down"
I don't want to bother my friends
with a problem
they're not aware exists
But the pain inside my chest
hurts so damn bad
I don't know who to help anymore
my friends or myself
I don't want to be selfish
But a part of me is begging to
At this point I don't think
anyone would believe I'm depressed
And the fault for that lies at my feet
It's because of me and my now slipping mask
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Please...
I'm sitting here
trying to talk
but never getting an answer
Yall don't realize
that behind the attempts to keep you happy
I'm crashing and burning
Yall have your own problems
I know
It's why I don't bother you with mine
But please...
talk to me
I don't say it
but I need it
I need it from you
after all...
you give me strength to fight it off
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Have to leave for a few minutes, bye.
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