Hulk Dog! (photo via henderp)
607K notes
·
View notes
“Did this person get drunk off of box wine one year and flip over the turkey pan with the turkey still inside it and then pass out with their underwear pulled down under the christmas tree?”
“Yes”
“It’s Grandma"
331K notes
·
View notes
baby pokemon dragons i forgot i never posted here!! dragonair and dratini are my fave dragon type pokemons!!
160K notes
·
View notes
Did you know the word rainbow has a letter for all the colors?
Red
Aorange
It’s yellow
Ngreen
Blue
Oh, indigo
What’s up with purple
331K notes
·
View notes
some aus
‘you’re a celebrity incognito trying to hide from paparazzi and you’re sitting right next to me and i’m the only one that recognizes you’ au
‘someone starts a rumor that we’re dating so let’s turn the tables’ au
‘you made an obscure literary reference and i’m the only on that got it’ au
‘we were both late to class and walked into each other in the hall and oh god do you have a concussion? i’m so sorry’ au
‘oh my god you’re my ex’s other ex’ au
‘we’re both actors and keep showing up for the same auditions’ au
‘i keep overhearing you make fun of me so i finally try to stand up for myself and it actually had nothing to do with me at all i’m sorry i never meant for this to happen’ au
we’re both teachers and all our students ship us’ au
‘i kissed the wrong person on new years’ au
‘i’m yelling to my friend about how attractive this celebrity is and then plot twist you’re the celebrity and in front of me wtf’ au
‘the only two people in the movie theater’ au
‘we showed up at a party wearing the same exact outfit. this is awkward.’ au
20K notes
·
View notes
what if an ouija board was like an afterlife call center
“hey joey, line 396 is open. three teenagers in the dark want to talk to some ghost or something”
“i’m gonna prank them so hard”
“joey no”
“im gonna say i’m satan”
“JOEY THIS IS WHY THEY MADE A SHITTY MOVIE ABOUT US”
286K notes
·
View notes
My future partner is probably texting their bae right now about how they’re gonna be together forever. Sike, see you in ten years bitch.
384K notes
·
View notes
me: dont cry dont cry dont cry
mind: dont cry dont cry dont cry
eyes: lol lets go niagara falls on this bitch
288K notes
·
View notes